Extreme Metal Gym Playlist

Gym playlists.  Man, some people out there really seem to not have the balls to delve into nastier shit than they’re accustomed to in order to really raise those adrenaline levels.  I guess they don’t really want to train with fury after all.  Pussies.  This goes back to my first true post on here, titled: “…if I had my own gym”.  I bitched that the so-called metalheads in my gym cried like little girls upon hearing my heavy-as-fuck Spotify playlist, which contained several tracks by Pantera (the super heavy shit from the mid-90’s), Strapping Young Lad, Nevermore and Meshuggah.  The remarks came flying: “What is this crap?”  “Yeah I know I’m a Stripping Young Lad but this sucks!”, “Do you have any Metallica??”

Sure, there are gyms out there that understand that Disturbed is NOT the definition of music that makes you want to fight someone of even deadlift the house.  But they’re few and far between.  Also, I’ve come across plenty of playlists on Bodybuilding.com and, while some have come close, I came across a lot of shit.  When I think of real weightlifting music Bring Me The Horizon and Miss May I are clearly, badass bands to train to.  Right?  Right?  Excuse me while I puke out my flank steak dinner and my creatine powder.

So here are my ten picks, in no particular order, for heavy-as-fuck, balls to the wall, rage fueling, gym music.

  1. Nails – You Will Never Be One Of Us, 2016ywnboou

I’m starting with this one because I need to get something off my chest real quick: I’m so fucking mad at these guys!  Just as this album is getting more critical acclaim and attention than any other album sounding remotely like this the band, without warning, goes on hiatus?!?!  What the fuck is this shit??  And why now???  Did Todd Jones decide he couldn’t handle the sudden popularity??  Did it go against his hardcore ethos??  Good thing I never went to This Is Hardcore in the beginning of the month because I would’ve been really pissed off!

Now that that’s out of the way…this is most likely my album of the year.  In just over twenty-one minutes, this album is literally all killer no filler…at all.  This is just straight up RAGE from start to finish.  The production is rough, the vocals are ridden with the type of slobbering anger that says Todd Jones wants to hurt you so bad.  This is true Meathead music.  It’s totally amped up my workouts since it came out two months ago and will most likely continue to do so.

Key Tracks: You Will Never Be One Of Us, Savage Intolerance, Parasite, They Come Crawling Back

2. Pantera – The Great Southern Trendkill, 1996 tgstk

Yeah…this one…not Cowboys, not Vulgar…this one.  Why?  Listen to the opening seconds of the title track alone.  That’s why.  The Great Southern Trendkill is literally the most violent and intense Pantera release in their entire recording career.  It just wreaks of every negative emotion you DIDN’T expect from Pantera.  I guess it kind of, sort of, also helps that Phil Anselmo was secretly doing heroin during this time.  That shit always brings down the mood!  Featuring the late Seth Putnam of Anal Cunt on backing screams on certain tracks.

Key Tracks: The Great Southern Trendkill, War Nerve, Suicide Note Pt.2, Sandblasted Skin

3. Strapping Young Lad – Alien, 2005

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Ever wanted to hear what a bipolar person sounds like when they stop taking their meds just to make their most intense album ever?  Here’s your chance!  But it ain’t pretty.  Which is why I love it!  Devin Townsend knew that Strapping’s 2003 comeback record was clearly stale, minus two tracks.  So what did he do?  He risked his mental health and let the crazies out to play on more time.  I cannot listen to this record when I am driving because there were many times when this record came out that I went into massive road rage, probably came close to INTENTIONALLY running over people and driving into a wall.

Key tracks: Skeksis, Shitstorm, Love?, We Ride

4. Nevermore – This Godless Endeavor, 2005

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Without question the heaviest album Nevermore ever did.  I don’t know if it was because of the permanent addition of Steve Smyth as a second guitarist, but whatever it was, it worked.  Usually known for a more diverse musical formula on previous albums, much of that is non-existent here.  Like…compared to the albums before it or after…This Godless Endeavor is musically pitch black.  I can totally see myself bench pressing to Jeff Loomis and Steve Smyth’s dueling leads on “Psalm Of Lydia”.

Key Tracks: Born, My Acid Words, Bittersweet Feast, Psalm Of Lydia

5 and 6.  Crowbar – Crowbar, 1993/Sonic Excess In It’s Purest Form, 2001

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I decided I had to put in two albums here.  Crowbar are the ultimate go-to band for intense weight training.  It’s unforgivingly brutal, fast enough, slow enough, sludgy enough and add Kirk Windstein’s increasing raspy vocals on being down and out and all I want to do is eat lots of food and deadlift.

Speaking of food, on their Phil Anselmo-produced, self titled album is a song called “Existence Is Punishment”.  If you ever watched Beavis and Butthead in the 90’s you probably saw them making fun of that song’s video, leaving Beavis to basically say that the band makes you want to eat and get fat.  Oh..and that they’re always taking a dump.  Also featured here the most badass cover of Led Zeppelin’s “No Quarter” that you’ll ever here.

Key Tracks: “High Rate Extinction”, “Existence is Punishment”, “All I Had (I Gave)”, “No Quarter” (Led Zeppelin)

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Probably the fattest, sludgiest and – believe it or not – most groundbreaking album or their career.  Featuring future Goatwhore guitarist Sammy Duet, Sonic Excess In It’s Purest Form truly lived up to it’s name.  But not just because it’s heavy, or you might as well consider every heavy album to be groundbreaking.  But because the songwriting here is so thought out.  Everything was perfectly arranged.  “The Lasting Dose”, the album’s most popular track – and the one where the moshpits always reach new heights – probably wouldn’t sound as amazing it does if it wasn’t well written.  This one always has me banging my head while training – I could give two shits if anyone’s looking at me.

Key Tracks: The Lasting Does, To Build A Mountain, Failure To Delay Gratification, Empty Room

7. Behemoth – The Satanist, 2014

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First off: Nergal is GOD.  I knew I loved Behemoth they day I heard their 2004 album, Demigod, in my college radio station, where I found myself playing it to death for a while.  It was the perfect mix of death metal with black metal themed lyrics, a new style the band were experimenting with.

But here, literally a decade later, the band is beginning to change.  Oh yeah, the brutality of their previous albums is still here, but the music itself feels fresh, much looser, much more off the cuff.  I remember hearing Nergal screaming with passion on the track “Messe Noire:: “I believe in SATAN!!!!”, me yelling to my car stereo with excitement “Oh yes you do!!!”.

Key Tracks: Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel, Messe Noire, Amen, O Father, O Satan, O Sun

8. Meshuggah – obZen, 2008

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This was band’s second album using eight string guitars, but after 2005’s weird, and heavily drum sampled Catch 33, the heaviest band to ever come out of Sweden were back with fury.  Back when everyone and their mother was still on Myspace, I heard “Bleed” on the band’s music player…and nearly fell off my chair.  The slow tempo, mixed with Tomas Haake’s double bass rolls, those bowel inducing, low tuned eight strings locked in just perfectly, Jens Kidman’s newly developed screaming…it was as if the band was reborn!  Meshuggah were already one of my top five gym bands but obZen is a modern day Extreme Metal masterpiece.

Key Tracks: Combustion, Electric Red, Bleed, Dancers To A Discordant System

9. Morbid Angel – Domination, 1995

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The one album that causes the most drama between fans.  You either love Domination or the thought of it makes your stomach turn, and that even goes for the members of the band.  Between the production style and the change in David Vincent’s lyrical themes and vocal approach, this is either the band’s most brutal album or the biggest pile of shit they ever recorded.  Me?  I fucking love it!  It’s virtually unrelenting, minus “Hatework”, which I could do without.  I personally think the clarity in production makes Trey and Erik’s guitars that much more brutal.

Key Tracks: Dominate, Where The Slime Lives, Eyes To See Ears To Hear, Dawn Of The Angry

10. Black Label Society – Live Alcohol Fueled Brutality + 5, 2001

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Right off the bat, fuck the “plus 5” on the second disc, it doesn’t matter.  I almost didn’t use this album but first off, Zakk Wylde is GOD.  Second, this live album is endlessly loud, violent, and brutal.  This was recorded on that infamous 2ooo tour were Zakk’s famous “grail” Les Paul was stolen, not to be seen again for a good three years.  This is another album I’ll bang my head to and sing out loud in the gym regardless of who’s watching me.  Fuck them, they’re all listening to the shitty dance music playing through the speakers or some watered down “rock” through their earbuds.

Key Tracks: Low Down, Lost My Better Half, Bored To Tears, No More Tears (Ozzy Cover)

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Show’s I’ll Be Attending This Summer

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Anaka live at Black Bear Bar, Brooklyn, NY, July 16th, 2016

On the heels of celebrating more than 15 years together Brooklyn’s own Anaka will be playing Black Bear Bar in Brooklyn this coming Saturday.  Also on the bill are Proxima Control, The Last Alliance, and The Crimson Collective.  And I’ll be posting a few videos of the show on my YouTube page.

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One Foot In The Grave Tour f/ Carcass, Ghoul, Crowbar, and Night Demon live at Gramercy Theater, New York, NY, August 4th, 2016

I’m a little disturbed by the title of this tour just because I’m not really sure if this means Carcass are breaking up again or not.  If so, it was awesome of them to release one more album, Surgical Steel, back in 2013.  That was probably the album of the year for me.  If not then that’s fine too!  I just entered Metal Injection’s contest to win free tickets to the Gramercy show, and I’ll find out in two days if I won.  I’m afraid I don’t know much about Ghoul or Night Demon…yet, but I’m definitely filming Carcass and Crowbar for sure.  Haven’t seen Crowbar since that night last June where I nearly died about three times because that so-called moshpit turned into a barwide fist fight!  So it’ll be interesting to see what happens this time, especially since hearing that ex-bassist Todd Strange came back to the band after sixteen years away.

2016 Announcement

This Is Hardcore Fest Day 2 f/Nails, Iron Reagan and Ringworm live at The Electric Factory, Philadelphia, PA, August 5, 2016

Let’s face it, I’m not really a hardcore fan and the only reason I want to go to this is to see the three bands mentioned above.  Of course there are a shitload of other bands on the bill but those are three I give a shit about the most.  I’ve heard Electric Sleep and they can blow me.  The others I haven’t heard.  When I imagine how Nails’ set is going to unfold I pretty much see a moshpit so brutal it outdoes the barwide fistfight I went through last June when I saw Crowbar in Brooklyn.  They are brutal as fuck, and their disgusting new album is getting a LOT of buzz, more so than even the band itself probably expected.

I’m also looking very much forward to Iron Reagan because their lead singer is Tony from Municipal Waste.  Waste actually knew me personally for the better part of a year between 2006 and 2007 but that’s a story for another time.  Here’s one of my favorite songs from Iron Reagan!

I last saw Ringworm opening up for Goatwhore in Broooklyn just a week after nearly dying at the Crowbar gig.  I actually filmed them twice because when I tried to film them some jackass in the pit threw another guy elbow first right into my ribs.  That hurt so bad.  After my better second attempt at filming them I was pushed against the wall twice tailbone first.  Here’s that second video now!

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Operation Domination Tour with Angel Vivaldi and Gus G live at Webster Hall, New York, NY, August 31st, 2016

I was just told about this by my girlfriend a few days ago and it was immediately decided that we are going.  The YouTube sensation is obviously showing no signs of slowing down at all and here’s the proof.  It’s not everyday an internet darling gets to play with Ozzy’s current guitarist!

This is going to fucking rule!

As I said before I’ll be filming all the shows I go to and you’ll be able to find them on my YouTube page.  If you’re reading this and plan on being at any of these shows l free to contact me, maybe we can hang.  I’m also on Facebook.  Click here to like my page and get quicker notifications on new blog posts.

Fucked By Satan: Goatwhore Live and Sold Out at Saint Vitus Bar 7/6/15

It’s been a few weeks since this show happened but I took awhile to finally do this blog partially because of time constraints, partially because of the fact that a lot of things happened at this show, partially because I was sure some drunk piece of shit blatantly sabotaged one of my video of the Black Breath set but as I now know she failed.  But I’ll get to her.  I’m doing this post a little differently than my other posts because there was a lot to cover so I’m going to recap this as quick as I can and then list the bands and I’ll add their pictures and videos that way.

So I arrived at the bar a good half an hour before the show was supposed to start and within maybe ten minutes of my being there I recognized the woman I was standing next to during the Crowbar show just a week earlier.  She had checked on me after the psycho fanboy kicked me in the back of the head and she now revealed to me that her legs at that moment we were talking were still bruised all over from that night.  We both spoke for a bit about the crowd as a whole that night, how brutal that show in general was because that pit wasn’t really a mosh pit – it was one big fucking fight!  See the video on my post about that night see what I’m talking about!

The first band of the night was a band called Theories, who are out promoting their latest album, Regressions.  I recorded the first few songs of their set which I will post.  They weren’t bad.  I don’t know that I’d buy their stuff but but I’d definitely see them again.  I’d say that their singer should definitely work a little more on coming out of his shell with his stage presence.  I imagine it will happen over time.

Ringworm were next and all I can say is…OW!!  There’s a reason James Bulloch is the “Human Furnace”.  Damn.  The band as a whole were absolutely brutal…so much so that that this where the circle pits and even some idiotic dancing began!  I stood to the side of the room while filming to avoid getting hit but some retard who was dancing around like a spaz  threw himself in to the guy next to me, who obviously bumped in me, hitting me right in the ribs and forcing my thumb to turn the camera off.  Within a minute or two of starting over I knocked into again twice, tailbone first in to the wall both times so this time I just got out until the band finished.  Again…OW!!!  By the way as of this writing my tailbone STILL hurts.

Black Breath…where shit went down.  What’s in a name?  That’s what I need to remember when it comes to Metal bands because these guys shattered all my expectations and fucking killed it! I couldn’t even use the word brutal to describe their intensity on stage.  They were PERFECT!!  So what was the problem?  I had gotten a brand new Droid Maxx just a few days earlier so I was unaware when filming that there was an automatic light that I had to remove.  So while I was filming there was a light on the whole time so I was a little confused when the woman in front of me began giving my phone the finger and then gave me the finger.  Of course I gave her the finger back.  She then turned to me and told me that the light on my phone was really bothering her and I was “making everything suck”.  I understood and kindly asked her to give me a minute so I could find a place to move and I guess that wasn’t good enough for her so she pushed me.

I didn’t do anything only because I assumed she was a bit drunk but the fucking bitch did it again!  When I was done filming she and her much calmer boyfriend thanked me.  I politely approached her and told her that there was no reason to push me.  “Well I tried to reason with you and you wouldn’t listen so I’ll push you all I want!” was her immature reply.  I called her out on it and she declared “I’m not afraid of you!”.  I never threatened her.  She then tried to insult me again and gave up.  It’s incredible, how tough women act when their boyfriends/husbands are around, although part of me thinks that this drunk bitch wears the pants in the couple.  And by the way you dumb twat, if you’re reading this I hope you get shot repeatedly in your fuckin’ head!  I do have to acknowledge the guy behind me, who saw everything and offered to lend me his spot so I could continue filming, but I was already finished at that point.  If you happen to be reading this, thank you bro, it obviously wasn’t forgotten.

After I took a few deep breaths in amazement that I didn’t punch the drunk bitch in her throat I got ready for Goatwhore.  I slowly got more in the mood the longer I heard Venom’s song “In League With Satan” blasting through the speakers…so bad but so good!  I was getting ready to film again and when I saw the guy in front of me looking up at my phone I decided to stop and look at the problem.  That’s when I discovered the light and turned it off – it still doesn’t justify some dumb bitch pushing me.

Goatwhore got on and they fucking tore it up!  I personally feel that leaving Crowbar was the smartest move Sammy Duet ever made; he’s a totally brutal, loud, heavy guitarist.  Let’s face it – he never would’ve been able to truly express himself had he stayed.  That’s no disrespect to Kirk Windstein, but when the band you’re in is the product of one guy’s sole vision you’re not going to have an easy time getting your ideas out there.  The good news here was I was in a spot were I was able to avoid injuries this time and STILL see the band!

This is actually the third time I’ve seen them in the last eight years and the second time I saw them while on tour for their latest album, Constricting Rage of The Merciless, an album I recommend HIGHLY.  Someone once said that Goatwhore is exactly what Venom would have sounded like if they weren’t such a joke and I couldn’t agree more.  The place really came apart near the end when the began their song “FBS” (right….I don’t know why they didn’t just label it what it is.), of the new CD.  At the end of the night everyone knew what is was to get Fucked By Satan…and they loved it.

Theories:

Ringworm:

Black Breath:

Goatwhore:

Most Intense Show Of My Life…Or How I Almost Died Seeing Crowbar.

…ok so maybe that dying part is a bit exaggerated but if it got you to read this then my job is done!  Suck me.

Sludge GODS Crowbar came to town this past Monday night on their Summer of Doom tour, taking along with them Lord Dying and Battlecross.  It took so long to write about this because I needed a whole day to recuperate from the insanity that I’m going to write all about.  Then I had a very hard time uploading all my pictures and videos.  Why?  I couldn’t tell you, but I finally upload everything last night.  My videos from the show have been up for the last day or two though and I’ll put the link to them here of course.

I arrived there maybe before 7:30 so I could eat something.  I was walking up the block to find food and who’s coming toward me in the opposite direction?  None of than Crowbar founder/vocalist/guitarist Kirk Windstein!  I shit you not!  He and two other guys were headed back to the bar with food and I had a slight fanboy moment so I went up to Kirk.  He shook my hand and said hey in that gruff, raspy voice of his before going back to his conversation with his buds.  No big deal since I wound up with a souvenir from him later in the night anyway.

So I go back to the bar later and upon looking at Crowbar’s merch table I found this shirt.

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This is so fucking true!  I myself wound up buying two shirts from the table but no this wasn’t one of them, although I think I should’ve gotten one for my girlfriend as a hint!

Not too long before the first band of the night, Carcosa, went on, I tried to talk to a few people and it felt a bit weird.  There were times where I felt like because these people didn’t know me they wanted nothing to do with me.  Not that I give a shit at all but this is something about metal that pisses me off.  It’s cool that there of groups of metalheads that found each other because that’s so hard to do; but what’s with the cliques?  I did met this one guy in a Down t-shirt who was a HUGE Crowbar fan.  Nice guy when I met him but as it turned out he was one of those pyscho fanboy types…you know the ones…there’s one at every show and that idiot always knows every little thing about the band including it’s day to day personal activities.  Well he turned out to be one of them.

While waiting outside I met Alex Bent, the current drummer in Battlecross.  We had a long conversation about all things music.  He and I and the crowd including the psycho fanboy were reminiscing about how we each discovered Crowbar and I good chunk of us said by watching Beavis and Butthead.  “Huh huh, I’d hate to meet this guy in an alley Beavis.  Huh huh.”  After a while it was time for him to go back in but he was cool enough to take this photo with me before he did.

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I walked back in as Carcosa began their set.  They’re a band out of Long Island and this just happened to be their first show.  If I could describe their music I’d say a sludge/hardcore hybrid, not like Crowbar does but they were pretty heavy.  For their first show they were spot on, as if they rehearsed a lot.  I spoke to Tim, their lead singer at their merch table after they finished and he said this wasn’t even supposed to be their first gig but when they got the call how the fuck could they say no????  They’re one of many bands I’ve noticed selling their music on cassettes, primarily because they’re cheaper to make than CDs according to what they guys in Ajax told me last July.  For $5 I got a cassette with a free digital download card along with two stickers.  To hear it for yourself go to http://www.carcosali.bandcamp.com and you’ll find the entire demo.

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I had more pictures and even a video but for some reason my memory card filled up quick and I didn’t even have many pic taken yet at that point.  This would be cause for a lot of frustration throughout the night.

Next of was Lord Dying.  This is was a close as we were gonna get to Crowbar before Crowbar even hit the stage.  It was heavy and sludgy…but with harmonies and solos.  They actually impressed me a lot and I will but their shit.  Erik Olson’s vocals were angry as FUCK and the music just pounded you.

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At the end of their set I spoke to Chris Evans, their co-guitarist, who let me take a picture of him with that beautiful custom made guitar you see both guys with in the video I posted.  He even let me hold it, that thing is light as a feather.  I wanted to try and balance it one finger!

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Battlecross were next and the last band before Crowbar.  This was the thrashiest, fastest and most melodic band out of the entire lineup.  They were still intense but in a different way and it’s safe to say the definitely have a following because this was the time when the room were in in truly began to full up.  From “go” the band were non-stop.  Their music was fast and while i had heard some of their songs before this night just so I could be familiar with them, they really impressed me live.  Also, it’s good to know there are bands out there with a sense of humor because Kyle Gunther was absolutely hysterical at times.  When I met him afterwards I should’ve suggested he try standup comedy.

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Here’s where problems began.  My phone’s battery was dying so my video for Battlecross was cut off after a minute and a half and my camera’s memory card was mysteriously full.  I’d fix the camera issue later but I couldn’t charge my phone obviously.  But here’s the video I made because it did come out good, at least.

Some people were crazy enough to clear the room after Battlecross got off the stage.  I guess they wanted to get one last smoke break, I don’t know.  I just know that there was a great open spot right at the front of the stage and I took it quickly.  While Alex was taking down his massive drum set – the biggest one of all the bands! – I befriended the guy standing next to me, also named Mike.  Turns out he’s huge Crowbar fan – no not like the psycho fanboy.  Kirk Windstein got on stage to set up and he drops the setlist on the floor and reading it Mike and I got real giddy, like teenagers, just knowing that shit was going down tonight.  I mean…just…just look at this fucking setlist!

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After just ten minutes Crowbar finally hit the stage.  I think you can just look at the picture above to figure out just how fucking crazy shit got based on the song being played but trust me, seeing is believing.  I was only able to take a few pictures because I got banged around a bit being that I was at the front.  I mean I was right in front of Kirk Fucking Windstein and practically getting an upfront guitar lesson!  If I can’t play any of Crowbar’s shit after this show I need new glasses now.  So here are the few pictures I was able to take, just to get it out of the way.

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So when the band began playing the place turned into a heavy metal lion’s den of dudes jumping off the stage – especially that psycho fanboy!  He kept on trying to push his way in and knocking me away from the front but I wasn’t letting that happen.  But I did pay for it because his breath smelled like fucking shit!  Mike smelt it too as did the woman standing to my right!  I have a video of the the second and third songs they did: “Planets Collide” and “All I Had (I Gave)” and before the “All I Had…” ended the fucking camera stopped on me again!  But I’ll tell you what…as crazy as we all were – I mean Mike and I were laughing so hard at how crazy everybody was and how heavy as FUCK the band were – shit really went down at the breakdown to “All I Had…”  It’s as if nothing else matters after that song.  This was where the whole fucking place just caved in.  For real.  Here’s the video of it.  The sound’s fuzzy because I’m right in front of Kirk but just fast forward to the 8:16 to see it all.

It was an extremely intense show.  And if shit couldn’t be more out of control the band broke into the intro to “The Lasting Dose” and played it even slower than it already is.  That just made everyone’s blood boil because they just wanted the band to kick in so they could beat each other up some more.  I fucking loved it!  I’m pretty sure it was that song were some jackass jumped of the stage and landed right on my shoulder.  And not even five minutes after that I felt someone kick me in the back of the head.  The woman next to me asked me if I was ok and I saw that psycho fanboy crowd surfing, so I immediately figured out that it was his foot that hit me.  She and I both wanted to fuck him up because he kept on jumping our direction AND his breath smelt so fucking rancid.  Rushing to the stage to show he knows every single word before jumping on us again and again.  I was ready to hurt him.

The show was SICK.  Crowbar were so fucking heavy.  This really is the music you listen to to get fat!  If I wasn’t sick I would’ve totally been motivated to lift weights the next day because they gave me such an adrenaline rush.  This is the music you shit dead babies to.  Fuck it – this is the music you EAT babies to!  They ended the night with “Existence is Punishment” and just when you thought the crowd were tired from beating the shit out of each other they got right back into it just like that.  I’ve never seen anything like it in all the years I’ve been to shows.  I’ve seen things close to this happen but the difference was that at all those other shows the crowds calmed down at least a little after a few songs.  Here?  No.  Just…no.  At the end of the show I jokingly thanked Kirk for the free guitar lesson.  “Free guitar lesson, huh?”, he asked on the mic in the raspy ass fucking voice of his.  He then let out a smile and gave me this sick looking guitar pic out of his pocket.

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This again was such a fucking sick show…the single most intense show I’ve ever gone to so far.  I plan on going back to Saint Vitus this Monday to see Goatwhore, which ironically enough was formed by former Acid Bath and Crowbar guitarist Sammy Pierre Duet.  That’s a band that puts on a sick show but I know that it won’t be the same as this.

Some more Crowbar

In the spirit of my last posting regarding Crowbar’s upcoming gig at Saint Vitus Bar in Brooklyn at the end of next month, I just can’t resist t adding this clip from Beavis and Butthead.  “Heh heh.  This is the kind of music you have on a workout tape if you get skinny and you wanna get fat.  Heh heh.”  Classic.

Crowbar at Saint Vitus

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I celebrated my 31st birthday in Manhattan yesterday, with my girlfriend.  It was a great time.  Bought a Power Trip CD at Generations on Thompson St, got free ices courtesy of the New York Rangers, who had an ice truck outside Washington Square Park, got a Black Flag t shirt on St. Mark’s Place, which I might cut the sleeves off of.  But as a birthday gift to myself I started my day by getting myself tickets to see Crowbar on Monday, June 29th at Saint Vitus Bar in Brooklyn, Ny.

This is fittingly being called the Summer of Doom Tour, as they released their 10th album, Symmetry in Black, just last year.  Also on the bill are Battlecross and Lord Dying.  I’m hoping I can find a way to meet or at least take a picture with Kirk Windstein.  If you love to lift weights Crowbar’s music is the perfect music to listen to.  Really sludgy, heavy as FUCK, so unrelenting.  Twenty six years later Kirk is still a beast.  His lyrics over the last two albums have changed to reflect his positive outlook on life after becoming sober but the music is as inspired and as badass as anything he put out before.

Anybody remember when they first heard Crowbar?  I do.  “Huh huh – he’s always taking a dump! – huh huh.”  Man, I miss Beavis and Butthead.  I’m sure a good chunk of people out there would have never known about Kirk or Crowbar had it not been for his stint in Sludge supergroup Down, with whom he made three classic albums and an EP before leaving to focus entirely on Crowbar.  I personally think that was the best move he could’ve ever made.  If any of you reading this plan on going to the show you should drop me line/comment/whatever; maybe we could meet up.  I’m also sure I’ll be doing a write up of the show for this blog.  Until then, here’s probably my favorite Crowbar video – mostly thanks to Beavis and Butthead!

…if I owned my own gym…

I’ve have thoughts about trying to open my own gym for the past four years now.  Not only would I be my own boss but I could do what I want with it, which obviously includes dictating the entire vibe of the place.  Who would my gym cater to?  How would I design it?  What equipment would I bring in?  And of course there’s also the music. I love hardcore gyms like the ones I’ve seen in articles and on youtube.  They cater to serious trainers, bodybuilders, powerlifters, you name it they are serious trainers.  I’d love to go to a place like Metroflex in Arlington, TX, with those SICK designs all over the walls, music blasting through the speakers and dudes likes Branch Warren training their asses off; a place like Pumping Iron not too far from me.  THAT place is Grunt City!  The first time I walked in there they grunted and screamed so loud they were cutting through the music!  These people were cutting through two big, 80’s era life size speakers! I train at a newly christened Powerhouse Gym.  The owner bought Atlas Gym from the original owner and is looking to renovate the entire building.  Thankfully, Mike, the new owner likes to play lots of rock music and some metal.  But of course he’s not going to play the good shit all the time.  I’ve already heard shit bands like Shinedown, Trapt, Limp Bizkit, Guns N Roses.  Yeah I included Guns on that list – overrated and pretentious as fuck if you ask me! But Mike does let us put our phones/mp3 players into the stereo system – just ask the guy who’s always playing his Eminem mix every Thursday night!  So one day I asked him if I could plug in my Spotify gym mix and he let me.  I need the heaviest music I can think of to amp me up, especially when I’m squatting and deadlifting on the same day.  This is my initial gym playlist called simply Gym Music:

  • Nevermore -Born
  • Meshuggah – Combustion
  • Crowbar – The Lasting Dose
  • Pantera – The Great Southern Trendkill
  • Morbid Angel – God of Emptiness
  • Black Label Society – Black Sunday
  • Strapping Young Lad – Shitstorm
  • Crowbar – All I Had (I Gave)
  • Pantera – Use My Third Arm
  • Slayer – War Ensemble
  • Meshuggah – Future Breed Machine
  • Nevermore – My Acid Words
  • Strapping Young Lad – Oh My Fucking God
  • Meshuggah – New Millenium Cyanide Christ

Pretty heavy, right?  And I know a few guys in the gym that are metalheads but man, not even THEY could handle my shit.  Within a few songs dudes were bitching to me that what they were hearing is “garbage”, “dude you have any Metallica?”, “Why don’t you make a playlist where you mix it up so everyone could enjoy it?”.  Are you people fuckin’ pussies??  This is lifting music!  It’s not supposed to be Master of Puppets; hell, everything on this list fuckin’ buries ‘Puppets six feet under in terms of intensity! The best was when the music ended Eric, one of those metalheads, quietly said “Thank god it’s over!”.  Eric…I heard you buddy.  But that’s not even my problem.  Whenever I go to the gym a lot of what I hear is SHIT in plain English, but I don’t say a word because what right do I have?  Therefore, what right do they have to bitch about my music?  If you don’t like what you hear there’s a thing called HEADPHONES you pussies.  Man, if I had my own gym the music would be loud and heavy as fuck all the time.  And yeah, I’d probably scare a lot of people away…an exercise in weeding out the weak. Also… RIP AJ Pero 1958 – 2015