Lift With Hatred: The Workout – Part 2

In part 1 I discussed our training “philosophy” along with my warmup routine.  So here’s what you’ve all waited for!  I decided to provide not one, but TWO templates for you to choose from.  These are full body routines, because the body needs as much volume as possible, especially when you’re just starting.  Constant stimulation is also CRUCIAL for rapid growth.

The basis for both of these templates are made up of the Squat, Bench Press, Deadlift and Overhead Press.  All classic beginner routines are comprised of these moves because they’re compound lifts, meaning they work more than “just” one body part.  But make no mistake, I’m not here to explain the kinesiology of every lift.  You can go on plenty of sites for that shit.  Remember, make sure you warm up before doing ANYTHING else and, if you have a mini resistance band, take that with you.  So, with that being said, and because I wanted to make a Metal themed routine for building a strength foundation, here’s Template A and B of Lift With Hatred: The Sabbath Years.

Template A 

Back Extensions – 3 x 10 or 3 x 20 (with resistance band)

Squat – 4 x 4-6 or 1 x 20 depending on your goals (preceded by resistance band shoulder  warmup)

Bench Press – 4 x 4-6 (preceded by resistance band shoulder warmup and/or set of chin ups to failure)

Chinups – 4 x failure (you can also superset these with the Bench Press to save time)

Overhead Press – 4 x 4 – 6

Deadlift – 1 x 5

Template B 

This is an alternating A-B-A/B-A-B style routine.

Workout A

Back Extensions – 3×10 or 3×20

Squat – 3 x 15

Bench Press – 3 x 15

Deadlift – 3 x 15

Workout B

Back Extensions – 3 x 10 or 3 x 20

Dumbbell Lunge – 3 x 15

Overhead Press – 3 x 15

Bent Over Row – 3 x 15

Explanation

This is as basic and primitive as it gets, much like the first few Black Sabbath records (especially Master Of Reality!).  They’re equally as brutal as they are simple as time progresses.   Same shit with these exercises.  It’s going to be beyond GED simple at first.  But the workouts will become difficult as the intensity increases.  It’s just up to you to figure out if you can handle it after a while.

Sets And Reps

This shit varies depending on the template.  For Template A I wanted you to be able to get in more sets for the sake of more stimulation.  In most proven strength routines, more than three sets are usually prescribed.  More sets equals more volume, which makes for more stimulation throughout the body.  Just because some doctor prescribed three sets per exercise back in the 30’s doesn’t mean you have to just perform three sets.  Also, I suggested a set 20 for the Squat as an option for you younger kids reading this.  I took the idea from Stuart McRobert’s book Brawn.  Stuart speaks about the classic 20 Rep Squat routine which is beyond simple, yet beyond BRUTAL on your legs.  But your legs will be huge.  Trust me.

Template B offers a more size oriented approach, bringing in dumbbells for one exercise, which will absolutely force more muscle fibers to be used to stimulate more growth.  That’s also why the reps are increased here.  It’s for this reason that this template offers more of a variety.  In fact, the alternating days gives you a chance to use an extra day to recover from the power moves while focusing on more size oriented moves, and vice versa.  I wrote a modified version of this template for my first client and he was a believer in full body training after a few weeks.

Duration

Template A is a three month cycle that’s to be trained three times a week, like most strength routines.  Both of these routines call for a linear progression, meaning the weights will be increased every week.  So make sure to increase the poundage accordingly.  I’d say increase the lower body poundages by 10lbs for the Squat and 10 – 20lbs for the Deadlift.  Increase the upper body poundages by 5lbs or even 2.5lbs.

For Template B, the recommended poundage increases are the same.  But the difference here is this is just Phase One of what will be four phases.  Which each phase comes a decrease in the amount of reps per set and, by Phase Four, the sets will increase to order to bring up the volume.  If you like this let me know and I’ll write up the other three phases.

Training Tips

Back Extensions

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Look at the ass on him!

You might notice that I started every routine with this.  Many of you might ask “…but Angry Metalhead, why can’t I do this as an accessory move like everyone else??”  Simple, because we’re not training to be like everyone else you asshole!  Not only that, but because, as I learned from reading up on Reg Park, training the lower back while it’s fresh loosens and strengthens it.  Everyone forgets that training the lower back is as much of Core training as training your abs is.

And as I found out, a strong lower back makes for a much stronger Squat and Deadlift.  But hey what the fuck do I know, I just know I once was able to deadlift 380lbs without a belt for a reason.  After you get used to the exercise, you can add a mini resistance band to add tension.  After that you can also add weight.  Or, if you’re pressed for time you can simply just use the mini band and add ten extra reps per set.

One more thing.  Guys, make sure you adjust yourself before you perform this move.  Take it from me, there’s no feeling more annoying than that of crushing your own balls because you didn’t fix yourself up on the station.  Your woman or man or whatever needs you to have healthy nuts guys!

Hip Drive! 

Did you really thing that Squats and Deadlift just required strong legs?  Fuck no, it’s all about that Hip Drive, as Mark Rippetoe says.  All Hip Hinge moves, like the Squat , Deadlift, Back Extensions, etc., require the hips to start AND finish the move.  Strong hips make for big numbers.  Strong hips also carry over into other aspects of life too.  Guys, you want to be absolute fuck machine with your wife/girlfriend/baby mamma/one night stand?  Use those hips.  Ladies, wanna be a fuck machine and show your husband/boyfriend/baby daddy/one night stand that you can keep up with the thrusting?  Use your hips!

Grip Strength

I saved the best for last because I wanted to send a clear message to all of you reading this.  I spoke on two separate occasions about grip strength, and the importance of not wearing gloves while performing any exercise or program.  Fuck, I even provided a real life depiction of what you look like when you wear gloves in my last article!  Gloves do provide protection…but it’s still lamer than wearing a rubber.  At least with a rubber you’re trying to avoiding something that might not be wanted right now!

So, to further add to my argument as to why you should NEVER wear gloves to the gym, ladies and germs, meet Sparkles!

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Sparkles is a cross dressing manicurist who underwent TWO gender reassignments (he’s very confused).  He’s great at bedazzling your nails.  His ass looks nice in round in a dress.  As you can see in the last picture, he’ll also hold your newborn, mixed race baby!  Wanna know what Sparkles can’t do?  He can’t deadlift worth a shit.  Why?  It ain’t from the lack of testosterone in his body – it’s because he wears gloves to the gym.

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If you want to see how Sparkles fares trying to pull a measly 145lbs, click on the video above!

This is my vision of you, yes YOU.  When I see you wearing gloves I see Sparkles.  I see a guy with absolutely no desire whatsoever to be stronger than he or even she knows.  I see someone with no desire to to be anything other than average, I could give two shits about how much muscle you have.  I didn’t pull more than double my bodyweight because I wore gloves.  Don’t be average.  Don’t be Sparkles.

Post workout stretching in the next installment.

Lift With Hatred Part 1:

https://metalheadconfessions.com/2019/07/30/lift-with-hatred-the-workout-part-1/

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Lift With Hatred: The Workout – Part 1

I’ve been talking about this for a year.  My own training template for beginning lifters, an easy, basic, bullshit free style, thoughtfully put together through many sources plus my experience both as a personal trainer as well as someone who once struggled to the point that all seemed hopeless.  Training, regardless of your goals, is much more of a cerebral game than most newbies would realize.

You have to learn the art of Autoregulation, listening to your body to realize what kind of stimuli it will and won’t respond to in terms of exercises and reps and sets and all that bullshit.  Speaking of bullshit, be ready to have have all sorts of advice thrown your way by both the ones who actually look like they lift and especially the ones who look more like they just took some program off Bodybuilding.com without doing any real research and just began “working out” a few weeks ago.  They’re hilarious!  But more important than either of those, is the development of your mental toughness.

The lifts you’ll be performing will be simple, but brutal after a while.  You’ll be repeating a lot of these almost every workout and you’ll get bored.  You can either just give up because you can’t take the repetition, or you can suck it up, follow the program to the T and reap the rewards later.  Yeah, I’m an angry asshole – and lack of patience usually comes with being angry!  But I at least understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day either.  But hey, what the fuck do I know?  I only Deadlift more than double my bodyweight.

Training Philosophy

Why do we Lift With Hatred?  What’s your daily life like?  Kids?  Nagging wife/girlfriend/baby mama?  Nagging husband/boyfriend/baby daddy?  Feeling disrespected by your boss?  Colleagues?  Random pieces of shit on the streets who need to be put in their place?  They all have one thing in common: it all can get to your head.

Lift With Hatred isn’t “just” some fucking saying I came up with to look awesome.  It’s cerebral.  It’s emotion.  It’s taking all the negativity that you endure throughout your day, and channeling it into something badass, like hitting a squat PR with everything you have.  Let’s face it, I’d love to beat the shit out of one or two of my “colleagues” at work…as well as several “family” members; but I also know that I’m not in the mood to go to jail right now.

Lift With Hatred is a way of life.  So how exactly do we Lift With Hatred?  You look deep into your mind; think about one person who always does you wrong, or your significant other who cheated on you, or that random shithead on the streets you said the wrong thing.  Take those feelings of wanting to beat them to the point of near death (the movie Bugsy comes to mind!), and take it out on those weights.  Why?  Because a powerful physique is far more beneficial than a rap sheet!

The Do’s and Don’ts Of What You’ll Need

I delved into this a little bit in an article called Lift With Hatred: Stupid Shit In The Gym.  But here’s is small, ridiculously simple list of what you’ll need to start off – and it’s not much – along with what you definitely won’t need.

Need

Shoes With A Flat Sole

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This is often recommended by a lot of reputable coaches and for good reason.  In as  simple of an explanation as possible, you want to always be able to “split the ground”, or push down against the floor, when performing any compound move.  You can’t do that if your shoes don’t allow you feet to be completely on the floor.  So most sneakers are out of the question.  A flat sole usually provides a bit more traction and allows you to use your posterior chain more, which is crucial for most strength based routines.  If you’ve been squatting for a while in sneakers, I guarantee you’ll quickly find out how strong your squat really is once you switch over.  I switched over in 2010 and I couldn’t believe how weak I really was (see the Chuck Taylors above!)!  There’s also the possibility of tipping over during a heavy squat or deadlift.  So you can take my word for it or not.  Up to you.  Just don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.  Recommendations include but are not limited to: Converse Chuck Taylor hi tops, Otomix or Adidas Wrestling Shoes.  Don’t worry about getting Adidas Powerlifts, Do-Wins, or anything with a heel until it’s absolutely necessary.

Mini Resistance Bands

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Resistance bands in short are fucking amazing.  These bands were popularized by those sadistic lunatics over at Westside Barbell long ago, and now everyone and their mother uses them.  Why?  Constant tension.  Advanced and elite level lifters use them at multiple sizes to add weighted tension to lighter percentages of their maxes, because more tension will force you to work faster.  Remember, speed is one of the two components of power.  But you’ll be using these as a quick warm up for your rear delts before every workout because they’re not only conveniently small enough to carry, but because not every gym has a dowel rod available for a move like Shoulder Dislocations.  So for that reason, just order a mini band.

Foam Roller

I first read about foam rollers more than a decade ago in a Men’s Health workout guide that’s I’m pretty sure I still have somewhere; but I’m pretty sure it was Muscle And Fitness that called it “The Poor Man’s Massage”.  And it is.  It’s also a great way to open up the muscles at the beginning of your warm-up.  Does your job require you to sit all day long?  You’re hips, lats, pectorals and front delts are probably tighter than your fifteen year old sister, and you’ll know where those tender spots are when you find it.  You’ll be yelling “hurts so good!” like the closet submissive that you are in no time!

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Lacrosse Ball

Use a Lacrosse ball to massage areas that you might not be able to successfully hit with a foam roller, such as you piriformis and especially your feet.

Don’t Need 

Any Kind Of Lifting Belt

Go ahead and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about.  Done?  Feel better?  Great – now go suck me!  Now that that’s out of the way…you’re reading this correctly.  If you’re just starting ANY routine, you do NOT need a belt of any kind.  The purpose of a belt is to provide you with  something to push your abs into, allowing the abs to achieve an even harder contraction.  But unless you’re squatting or deadlifting more than you weigh, focus on developing your “natural belt”, aka your abs.  At one point you’ll need one, but for this beginner’s routine I wouldn’t worry about it.

Almost Every Supplement Out There

Here’s another thing that’ll have people telling me I know nothing.  They can still go suck me.  Not including protein powder, there’s no need to spend your money on any kind of preworkout, creatine monohydrate, or fat burners.  I’m not saying they don’t have they’re place; but if you’re new to training and are thin, you need to eat as if you’re one of the fat slobs slowly marching toward death’s door in Supersize Me, clearly rendering fat burners useless here ((although they don’t really do much at all!).  In terms of preworkout, there’s no real need for that much caffeine if you’re just starting with an empty bar.  Creatine Monohydrate is arguably the single safest supplement out there, especially in it’s powdered form (which is cheaper yet way more effective than it’s pill form).  It retains water in the muscles.  Sodium does the same shit.  But if you want to use Creatine, I’d recommend at least seeing what kind of muscular foundation you can build without it on your own first.  Otherwise, you could just take a tablespoon of sea salt and mix that in a gallon of water.

Gloves

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An actual depiction of what you look like when you wear gloves to the gym.

Gloves: GAY.  I definitely when on a tirade regarding gloves in the article I mentioned above.  But to be short: DO NOT WEAR FUCKING GLOVES.  Unless you have nerve damage you don’t need them.  Gloves provide a layer between your hands and the bar.  Sounds like protection, and it is.  But your grip strength won’t develop and it needs to in order for this or any REAL program to work.  One of my clients recently bitched when he realized he was developing calluses on his hands, saying when he touched his wife he wanted smooth hands for her.  Yeah?  You know what your wife would appreciate more?  Man hands!  So do yourself a favor and ditch the gloves.  Actually no…BURN THEM.  Or go get a sex change and start calling yourself Sparkles while singing along to this:

The Warm-Up

Here’s a simple warm-up that should take a least ten minutes once you get the hang of everything.  For this you’ll need your foam roller and your mini resistance band.  Some of the moves you’ll see here I’ve taken from either books I’ve read over the years or things I’ve learned recently.  Some of this is taken from the DeFranco Agile 8 (I’ll leave a link below).

  1. Start off by foam rolling your entire body.  As I mentioned earlier, some of you might have jobs that require sitting all day.  So some of the key joints and limbs here might be real tight.  That’s why it’s important to hit EVERYTHING, not just your shoulders, legs and hips.  Foam roll your piriformis (or use a lacrosse ball), your pecs, even your biceps (they’re connected to your shoulders after all).
  2. Dynamic Warm-up.   Remember when your elementary school gym teacher made you do shit like jumping jacks and jogging in place before actually doing anything?  Well they were on to something.  Dynamic movements help loosen your muscles, as well as increase your heart rate.  Never EVER perform static stretches before working out.  Stretching a cold muscle could possibly lead to an injury.  This warm-up includes body only movements along with resistance band movements for the rear delts:

Body Only

Side Planks: 20 – 30 seconds per side

Leg Swings: 10 – 15 swings per leg (make sure you feel the stretch in both your quads and your hamstrings depending on the direction)

Groiners: ten reps altogether.

With A Mini Resistance Band 

Band Pull Aparts: 8 – 12 reps above the nipple line, followed by 8 – 12 reps below the nipple line (where you’d position the bar for the Bench Press); Banded Shoulder Dislocations: 8 – 12 reps; Band Face Pull With External Rotation: 8 – 12 reps.  When I  say external rotation, I simply mean that instead of finishing the movement with your fists facing in front of you and over your head, they instead will be facing you as if you’re flexing your biceps, or jerking off two dicks in a bukkake video, or whatever floats your boat.

I’d actually hold off on the resistance band portion of the warm-up until you’re ready to perform any upper body movements.  In Part 2 of the workout I’ll be presenting to separate templates for two relatively different goals.  But both workouts will be starting with a posterior chain exercise to isolate the lower back and there’s no point, really, in warming up the shoulders to work on your lower back.  But that’s just my two sense.  Stay tuned for part 2.  Feel free to message me with any questions, complaints, death threats, sacrifices, etc.

Buy Shit:

Mini Resistance Bands:

Westside Barbell Mini Band

Foam Rollers:

https://www.amazon.com/TriggerPoint-Roller-Instructional-Original-13-inch/dp/B008YPZQCU

Cheap Yet Highly Effective Weight Lifting Shoes:

https://www.amazon.com/Converse-Mens-Chuck-Taylor-Women/dp/B000OLVPBI/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2Q3JPVWFSXZ7Z&keywords=chuck+taylors&qid=1564284391&s=sporting-goods&sprefix=chuck+%2Csporting%2C136&sr=1-4

My Tirade On Gym Fads:

https://metalheadconfessions.com/2018/09/25/lift-with-hatred-stupid-shit-in-the-gym/

Sources:

https://www.t-nation.com/training/defranco-agile-8

How to Deadlift with Proper Form: The Definitive Guide

https://www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/lacrosse-ball-massage#9

Lift With Hatred: Stupid Shit In The Gym

In the last few years I’ve seen some real STOOPID shit while in the gym.  I won’t lie, I did some unnecessary shit in my early twenties; but I NEVER did half of what I’m about to talk about here.  Fitness, and getting in shape, or whatever the fuck your personal goals are should be fucking simple as shit.  There shouldn’t be any weird dancing with weights, or balls, or misuse of equipment.  And fuck, the way some of you misuse equipment meant to act as a REINFORCEMENT is fucking ANNOYING to see.  So here before you is a short list of shit I want to stop in the gym – ANY gym.  Yeah, even my own gym isn’t safe from some of this shit.

1.Wearing Gloves, Wraps, and Belts Unnecessarily

This is something I saw someone in my current gym do months ago while trying to regain my own squat strength post wrist injury.

Gloves

First rule of ANY kind of real lifting: DO NOT FUCKING WEAR GLOVES YOU LITTLE BITCH!  If you’re stupid enough to do so, I can only assume grip strength isn’t important to you.  Aw, are you afraid of getting callouses?  Have fun never getting strong!  But more so than that, if you “need” to wear gloves for an exercise in which the bar is to be ON YOUR BACK, then you’re not doing it right.  In fact, your wrists are NOT supposed to have ANY pressure on them.

The Cheap Ass, Flimsy, Harbinger Bitch Belts

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I forgive you if you’re brand spanking new to weightlifting.  You’ve yet to be privy to the importance of true quality materials involved in making real belts.  You may not yet even understand that it’s better to learn how to work on strengthening your abs, using that as a “natural belt”.  For the rest of you, I honestly hope those fucking Harbinger belts either dig into your ribs while you’re squatting, or they “fail” you because you probably don’t know how to brace.

I honestly feel like all lifters, regardless of whether or not they are bodybuilders or powerlifters or whatever, need to have a belt that is just one length all the way around, and made of leather.  I, for example, have an Inzer 10mm Forever Belt.  But there a few other brands you can by quality belts from, such as Pioneer Fit.  You can either take this advice or just look like a jerkoff…up to you.

Quarter Squatting With Knee Wraps???

If you’re reading this I’d like to think this is self explanatory.    But if not: if you’re using fucking KNEE WRAPS to squat 225, your squat probably sucks ASS.  Especially if you’re not at least breaking parallel!  Just imagine you’re shitting in the forest, or even do what I did and actually ASK for help.  Some people like to do box squats as a reinforcement – remember that word?  I personally don’t care for them because I feel like it allows the hamstrings to relax and lose tension, but that’s just me.  But this actually leads to my next example of gym stupidty!

2.Real Men Don’t Squat With Bosu Or Medicine Balls!!

I actually saw some tool do this in NYSC in Clifton, NJ two years ago.  He was front squatting with sneakers onto a medicine ball.  First off, if you’re front squatting with sneakers, you better hope I’m not there when you tip over because I’m just going to laugh.  A lot.  Find someone else to help you.  Also, if you’re a man squatting onto a medicine or BOSU ball, do yourself a favor: return your man card right away and make an appointment yesterday for that sex change operation you’ve secret wanted since you got out of high school and entered college, the time where most jackasses finally feel free to wave their jackass flags high!  Fuck, even another woman told me “…I thought only chicks squatted onto BOSU balls…”.  See guys, don’t be that douche with the surfer boy haircut squatting onto a BOSU ball.  Find a box or a small stool or even a bench like a real man.  You are a real man, right?

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Arnold didn’t have bitch ass medicine balls in 19 whatever the fuck year this was taken in.  And he didn’t need them either, and neither do you unless you’ve begun hormone treatments to grow your tits.

3. Weighted Ballet

This goes out to all you certified personal trainers out there…or at least those of you that only based your knowledge on your ACE or NASM textbooks.  Yeah, I’m a newly certified trainer – but at least I know that the only way to get someone to do a squat is to keep him or her STABLE and not moving around like an asshole.  Or on a BOSU ball.  Or anything that’s not a SOLID surface.

“What the fuck is he doing??”

That’s exactly what I thought when I saw I personal trainer at my last gym (the subject of my inaugural Lift With Hatred article) “teach” his middle aged client this absolutely retarded squat “variation”.  He gave his client two 10lb dumbbells to hold up at shoulder length.  From there, he made him do a squat, then turn 180 degrees to do another squat, and repeat the process.  Fuck, at that point this poor fuck wasn’t learning how to get in shape.  He was learning weighted fucking ballet!  That shit would get me nauseous!

I don’t give a shit about your certification.  I could give two fucks about your knowledge of Golgi Tendon Organs.  If you have any kind of intelligence or even just a little common sense, you’d know that “functional training” is simply performing exercises that mimic everyday life.  That includes the squat and deadlift.  So if I’m picking up a box in a warehouse, am I going to spin around with it like some faggot on Dancing With The Stars, or am I going to load it up on the 18 wheeler like a normal person?  If you said spin around like a jerkoff, then you deserve to get shot in the head.  Twice.  You want to have your clients do a dumbbell squat?  Simple.  Have them do a Goblet Squat: dumbbell to the chest and squat for reps.  It’s easy and effective.

                Look at that shit – so easy your dead great grandmother can do it!

4. Wearing Shirts With Trendy Mottos

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Due to the success of certain YouTube fitness channels, the owners of those channels began selling shirts with their dopey slogans on them.  Of course they sold.  Of course most of these people are absolute toolbags comprising of either bro lifters or fuckheads who only got into Powerlifting because it somehow became trendy.  I want to talk about Barbell Brigade first because I’m going to be less brutal on them than I am with Beastmode.  Barbell Brigade, honestly, looks like an awesome gym that I’d love to train in if I’m ever in that part of California.  But “Dominate Humbly”??  Who the fuck ever dominated ANYTHING with humility?  That’s like a dude starting to brag to his friends about the girl he just boned the other night but the surprise twist was that SHE asked HIM who his daddy was and he liked it as she pounded HIM into submission!  He also probably wore a man bun.  He’s also probably about to go get a sex change.

Beast Mode Bro!

I honestly have no clue who started this #beastmode shit years ago.  I just know that it sucks ass.  Like your mother.  I also know that it’s not only a silly way of saying you’re going hard at the gym, or even at life, or “grinding” (don’t get me started with this stupid term), but it’s another excuse to record yourself on your phone to get YouTube views or Instagram likes.

But what’s hilarious about Beast Mode is…what the fuck are most of you doing that’s so impressive that it justifies a stupid hashtag.  Between videos of bros lifting and pictures of dudes with their shirts off, showing off their upper bodies, you’ve all missed the point.  From the time I started training to now neither I nor my friends ever yelled out “yeah man lets go fuckin’ beast mode today bro!”.  We just went in there, did our shit and when home.  No bragging, all work.  You’ll never go on Dan Green or Shawn Roden’s Instagram pages and find #beastmode on their posts.  Why?  Because they don’t need to put that for everyone to know how hard they worked to get to where they both are now.

Chances are, a good chunk of you probably, are lying through your fucking teeth about exactly how hard you actually work.  I bet that, instead of “grinding” you probabky spent most of your time on your phones.  You probably are clueless when it comes to programming your training for consistent, long term progress.  Your body can be forced to be in “Beast Mode” for only so long before it’s had enough and you either stagnate (the nicest thing that can happen to you) or you get hurt from overtraining because you didn’t schedule a lighter or medium/light week.  Or even a deload week!

The saddest thing about “Beast Mode” is that some older guys have drank the Kool Aid.  Earlier this year I saw a guido looking dude at my gym, looking older than even I, with a gold chain on…and a Beast Mode tank top.  If you’re a man looking close to 40, and you’re wearing a tank top that says “Beast Mode” on it, you most likely haven’t experienced the love a woman in a really long time.  After this you have two choices.  You can either A) throw yourself in front of an incoming train, or B) go make an appointment for a sex change with the guy squatting on a medicine ball.

5. Invisible Dicks

I’ll never forget this night for as long as I live.  February 16th, 2016.  New York Sports Club, Clifton NJ.  I was hyped up, as I was was preparing to finally Deadlift 315 for the first time (I did so for four reps, by the way).  The problem?  The deadlift platform was being used by a middle aged man.  I asked him how many sets he had left and he explained to me that, as per his Crossfit routine (that should already be a warning!), he was set to perform 12 sets of clean and jerks followed immediately by jump rope.

One problem.  I didn’t see a jump rope.  So what this guy started doing after his clean and jerks was probably THE single weirdest form of Bukkake I’ve EVER seen in my life.  He began jumping up and down while “simulating” jumping rope.  All he really looked like all he was doing was jerking off two invisible dicks, but he decided to jack them on his waist because he thought he was too pretty to get it all on his face.  Should’ve known, this apparently was a Crossfit routine, after all.

Image result for sarah palin invisible dicks

Sarah Palin at least got it right.  Why can’t you?

I also saw someone do this shit in my previous gym last summer.  I had no clue Bukkake had become a fitness trend!  But guys (since I’ve yet to see any chicks do this), either get it right like Sarah Palin or don’t do it at all.  Stop fucking jerking off invisible dicks and get a real fucking jump rope you faggots!

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Lift With Hatred

Powerlifting is an external view of how pissed off at the world I really am.  – Kirk Karwoski

The title of this article…if you follow me on Instagram you see this hashtag attached to all my training related videos.  But let it be known now: I didn’t come up with it just for the sake of having a hashtag or to have several thousand followers.  I have nowhere near that.  It’s a literal way of life for me.   I’m not Kirk Karwoski; but much like him, Powerlifting is definitely an extension of how pissed off I really am.

Image result for kirk karwoski

This guy was just a psycho.  In his prime, if he came to the gym and someone was at his squat rack, he’d give them a five minute warning.  If the unlucky fuck wasn’t done yet, Kirk would take their shit and throw it to the side and force them out!

At 34 years old, at a time where most people begin to soften with age, I’ve just become colder.  Friends?  I have so few of them, especially now.  Honestly, fuck ’em, don’t need ’em.  Playing in bands?  More like sixteen years of my life I can never get back.  Family?  Oh, lets not go there.  Work?  Let’s REALLY not go there!  The ONLY thing I want to do is lift heavy shit.  That’s my only relief from the day.

Deadlift with Hatred

Fuck Your Commercial Gym

The Deadlift.  THE single most macho lift anyone can do in their gym…if their gym doesn’t give them shit for it.  In fifteen years I’ve trained in just six gyms.  One was my college weight room, three of them were commercial and the other two including my current gym are badass gyms with the type of vibe you can only get in a smaller,  more intimate setting.  Up until last year, no commercial gym ever gave me shit for the way I trained – or even for the clothes I wore to the gym!

Then came this boy scout manager, who claimed he understood me since he himself was a pretty big guy and even complimented my Bev Francis Powerhouse Gym t-shirt.  While being given the tour of the place, the much nicer manager who was showing him around asked me to be “kinder” to her floors.  Little did she understand that the plates were rubber coated so they’d never break her floors.  And before anyone asks: no, I wasn’t slamming the weights.

Regardless, that clearly left an impression on him.  He came up to me a week later, looking like he was dry humping his imaginary girlfriend while I was deadlifting before belittling me, lecturing me on proper form like I was some fucking idiot.  We almost went to blows right away.  I realize instantaneously that he planned on using me to make a name for himself and I wasn’t going to let that shit happen.  It was his first official day on the job.  A week later, I decided to train wearing jeans and boots, something I’ve done from time to time ever since I’ve been training.  This dumb son of a bitch asked me if I had any other clothes and, when I said I didn’t, told me hesitantly that I then had to leave.  Why?  Because the rivets – the ones I didn’t have on these jeans – would rip up the pleather on the already shitty Hammer Strength benches.  I asked him to just let me go with a warning and I’d never do it again, as I had just gotten into my warmup.

Two minutes later, I found myself angrily sitting in my car, knowing for sure that my days at this “gym” were numbered.  No one had EVER kicked me out for wearing jeans and boots before, or even given me a warning.  Luckily for me, I already knew exactly where I wanted to hang my hat next.  The problem was I was low on cash, meaning I’d have to wait a while.  I endured two more months of walking on eggshells and even coming close to a confrontation with a trainer there, who I really liked and still do, over my “slamming the weights”.

So what the fuck am I driving at?  If you’re like me the gym has to feel like a home, not some fucking social club.  It’s okay to make friends.  Fuck, I’ve met amazing people in EVERY gym I’ve ever trained in.  But if you’re like me, you’re dedicated to acheiving shit that most peole could never dream of.  That means you put on those earbuds if you really have to, and you tune out the rest of the world.  That means all your focus is going to be on that set, your rep goal, whatever.  You’re going to make sure you give it all you got, with all the intensity you can.  Is it so heavy you might scream a bit?  Go ahead, fucking do it!  If anyone is dumb enough to say shit, it’s most likely because they’re too chicken shit to try it.

Make sure your gym is not only welcoming of all kinds of lifters, but TOLERANT.  That usually means get the fuck out of your commercial chain gym that can have all the equipment you can ever need, but mostly relies on cardio bunnies for their revenue.  Does that one guy that can pull four plates do the robot in between his sets?  You need to get the fuck out of there now!  That means being in a gym with all lifters – male and female – who know that THE way to get in shape is to not just eat right, but to focus on the three greatest lifts you can do: the squat, the bench and the deadlift.  I’ve gotten more muscle mass doing those than I ever did doing just shrugs or leg presses (even though leg presses are part of my current routine).

To me, the gym is the one place where I can express myself.  Where I am now, I can lift the way I want, how I want, when I want, with as much intensity as I want and I’ll never be given a hard time for it.  Lifting is the one time in my day where I can get out all of that negative energy – and believe me, there’s so much of it! – without anyone else getting hurt.  I lift with hatred because that’s my one source of strength.  I lift with hatred because that’s all I know.  This is not a game.  I don’t do this for “fun”; I do it because I need to.

I’m leaving you with my one of my spotify Gym playlists:

Maybe one of these tracks will give YOUR workout a swift kick in the ass.

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Doug Young: The Hardcore King Of Powerlifting

See that beast in the main picture?  That motherfucker right there is THE reason I became a fan of Powerlifting to begin with.  This is the story of Doug Young, more than a man’s man, but an absolute GOD in the early era of the sport.

I had already gained some interest into what Powerlifting was the day I started surfing YouTube videos thanks to the growing popularity of Starting Strength, a beginner’s strength routine.  I found an old video of a televised Powerlifting event on NBC Sports with commentary from former Powerlifter and coach Terry Todd and a very young Bryant Gumbel.  It turned out to be the 1977 IPF World Championships, held in Perth Australia.  After watching a Squat World Record cat fight between Paul Jordan and Larry Pacifico, which resulted in Paul hurting himself in three places because he went for heavier weight than he could handle like a retard, as well as Vince Anello winning first place in the Mid Heavyweight division for Team USA, it was the Heavyweights’ turn.

Around the minute mark of this particular video Doug Young appeared as he was getting ready to Squat 699lbs.  The intensity in his eyes could burn a hole right through anyone.  Then, as he began to set himself up, you heard that fucking growl.  This wasn’t no ordinary growl, it truly sounded like a bear was coming out.  It was Doug’s inner rage, having to squat that much weight after dropping thirty pounds in just one week in order to make the 242lbs weight class for Team USA.  Oh he made the squat alright, but in doing so he also broke three ribs.

It clearly was pretty unlikely that he’s continue.  But he did, managing to Bench Press 535lbs, Deadlift 710lbs, and even win first place, all while fainting twice in the process.  “Holy fucking shit this guy is hardcore!” was my initial reaction.  I doubt that Larry Pacifico, who Doug even called out before his 710lb Deadlift attempt, would have balls that big as to compete with three broken ribs after dropping thirty pounds in seven days.  I’m not claiming to be the toughest son of a bitch alive but I doubt highly that even modern day guys like Dan Green or Eric Lillibridge would be brave enough to do that.  Well…maybe Eric would be.

doug_young in color

Power Bodybuilding

In between lifters and attempts interviews were shown with the lifters.  But when they showed Doug’s interview he said something interesting.  He revealed that when he wasn’t training specifically for Powerlifting he’d train “for physique”, claiming that everyone should train to be equally as “pretty” as they do to be strong.  This is called Power Bodybuilding today and, as shown in those interview clips, it’s a lot higher in volume than most people would think, as these training clips shown him performing Bodybuilding type moves, such as dumbbell flyes, dumbbell curls and Skull Crushers.

Doug at his best had a 56 inch chest with a tapered waist.  So not only did he have muscle but also didn’t have much fat on him.  It seemed, for a while, that lifters, regardless of their goals, lost the point but I think it’s coming back now, especially with programs like Jim Wendler’s 5/3/1, which I’ve been using for almost two years now, and Chad Wesley Smith’s Juggernaut system.  It’s that equal balance of stimulating the muscles for both growth and strength, while conditioning yourself too.  Doug Young was the early forefather for what it is to truly be in shape.  Oh and by the way, a year he broke his rib Doug was the first man under 300lbs to Bench Press 612lbs.  With just a t-shirt on.

Doug Young, he was to fore bearer of what it is to truly be in shape and be the total package, and one day in his lifting career was more hardcore than your entire life.

Final Thoughts

Unrelated to Doug Young, I just found out that Kai Green has signed up with Super League and, while it appears he’s not leaving the IFBB, it looks like he’s done competing for them.  That’s a fucking shame!  I don’t follow Bodybuilding like I used to but Kai was my boy.  He may have not won 1st place but he has a legacy so much stronger than his win-loss record.  I looked up Super League and realized that I did actually hear about it maybe a week ago.  Looks promising…but on the flipside, is Kai really that insecure about never beating Phil Heath?

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RPS Jersey Rumble May 20th, 2017

I gave myself a few higher expectation this time.  Yeah, it was only my second meet, but after a year of practically training for power and nothing else I decided the time had come for me to at least somewhat challenge myself.  Hell, in the year since my last meet my Squat had finally hit the 300’s and my Deadlift was just 15lbs away from hitting 400.  My Bench Press?  I really don’t want to even go there.  But I knew going into this meet that my shoulders were absolutely fucked, a result of carrying around a leather shoulder bag by the handle because the strap was broken and having a bunch of weight pulling on my joints.  To make matters just a bit worse, I was at a park with my students the day before this meet and one of them asked me to play catch with him.  Of course I couldn’t just tell him no.  The problem?  Throwing a football requires a tad more force – or power! – than a regular ball, especially if you want to throw a spiral.  So yeah, my throwing arm was now even more fucked.  Just great.  This fuckin’ kid is so lucky I like him.

So I arrived at the Ramada Plaza Hotel just a tad more focused…and even more anxious than last time!  See, I had planned my opening lifts maybe just a week in advance, not because I was procrastinating, but because I wanted to feel comfortable knowing I was going to least pull those off – especially with the squat.  If there’s one very important psychological tool I learned from Jim Wendler, it’s that you want to be able to just bang out your Squat opener.  If you do that you’re confidence will sky rocket, if not, your confidence as a whole might just do a nice, big nose dive.

I weighed in at 179.8lbs, which was fine since this was my first meet in the 181lb weight class along with the Raw Modern division (knee sleeves or wraps), managing to hit 180lbs not even a handful of times in the last few months alone.  Since we were as early as we were I had plenty of time to take since pictures, but not many because almost as soon as I walked into the ballroom I almost immediately ran into PJ Santa Teresa, who was competing in the 198lbs weight class and the Raw Classic division.  He also won first place last year.  I ran into Eric Chase a few minutes later and the three of us just got lost in all things Powerlifting for while, with me even educating PJ on the Doug Young won the 1977 IPF World Championships with three broken ribs.  In fact he might be the topic of my next post!  So anyway, because I got stuck talking to PJ and Eric for a while I found myself not taking too many pictures.  But I sure noticed some sick new trophies!

This shit right here is exactly why I’d kill to win just one trophy from this fed.  So fucking metal.  Seriously.

So I made sure that this time around all my lifts were filmed and you can see them all right here!

But for the actual story, I already knew in advance that I’d be going for a 330lb squat PR for my final lift so long as my first two attempts were successful, which they were.  Once again, C4 was my buddy because was nice and warmed up, and real fuckin’ jumpy.  So after hitting my first two attempts of 280lbs and 305lbs I’m starring at the monolift with full concentration.  Trying to channel Doug Young; what you can’t hear in the video above is that I’m so into shit now that I’m growling as if I was Doug himself…only his growl was WAY more terrifying!  You know what…I think I AM going to write about Doug next.  Anyway, I’m feeling stuck at the half way point, all it took was me screaming “UUUUPPP!!!” at the top of my lungs and I had all three green lights.  Quick fun fact:  Both of my second squat attempts from this year’s Rumble and last year’s only had two green lights.

My Bench Press attempts were where it all started to go to shit, making me feel like all my energy must’ve gone into squatting.  As I said earlier…my shoulders were in shit shape, so my opener and second attempt, both green lighted, were a measly 150 and 160.  After the second attempt I was in so much pain that I lower my third attempt from 180 to 170, fearing an injury over just not getting the lift.  Here’s where I think I should’ve used a wider grip width because my grip alone was not an issue, having finally fixed that issue not too long ago.  But either way, as soon as the bar hit my chest it wasn’t going back up.

I had a lot of time to kill before Deadlifts so I spent it eating salty snacks and drinking gatorade, taking in as much sodium as I could, since sodium retains water as well as helps to restore electrolytes.  I also took my other bottle of C4, ensuring I’d have the energy I’d need if I though I was going to pull 420lbs.  I made sure I was focused, even if the preworkout alone wasn’t hitting me like it did for squats.  So I opened with 355 and my second attempt was 385.  After I hit that number I somehow felt confident enough to request 420 as my final lift.  This would’ve brought my total into the low 900’s.  After about ten minutes my flight (or group) was called up for our final attempts.  Eric told me he was just going for 400lbs, which appalled me a bit because I know he had more in him…although I now wish I did the same.  Eric hit his number beautifully, and I was a few lifters behind.

It’s now my turn, standing behind the bar, ammonia cap under my nose for extra stimulation, mid chest length hair down like I’m Dan Green or some shit.  I’m nervous and excited at the same time as I take a deep breath and manage to just rip the fuckin’ bar right off the ground.  But at the halfway point I got stuck and couldn’t lock out.  At all.  It was so bad I even dropped the bar, which you’re not supposed to do.  I’m now FURIOUS.  Slamming down my Inzer Forever Belt, all I wanted to do was throw shit everywhere.  After taking two minutes to kind of calm down I asked my girlfriend to show me the video.  And there it was – my hips went up way too early.  I was fucked from the beginning!  Was I that nervous that I wasn’t focusing on my body movements?  Most likely.  So now my total was going to be 875.

After my flight PJ went on to deadlift 550lbs for his second attempt and it was fucking FLAWLESS.

That look on his face at the end gets me every time.  He tried to go for 600lbs after this; he was just about to lock out when he BLACKED out instead, falling face first in front of the judge’s feet.  Rising blood pressure is a bitch.  He still managed to win 3rd place, by the way.

I plan on going back to the gym next Sunday and I’m going to start using Jim Wendler’s 5/3/1 Boring But Big template, which is essential a Powerbuilding program.  I think it’s time for me to focus more on muscle mass for a bit, especially in regards to my chest and shoulders.  I’m also considering trying the Sumo Deadlift stance to reduce my range of motion and take some stress off my lower back and put it on my quads.

My stats for Jersey Rumble 2017:

Squat: 280, 305, 330 (PR) 3/3

Bench Press: 150, 160, failed with 170 2/3

Deadlift: 355, 385, failed with 420 2/3

Total: 875

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PJ Santa Teresa @pjironmind  Eric Chase @_echase

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                         Left to right: PJ Santa Teresa, Eric Chase, Angry Metalhead

Darkthrone Or Metallica: Which Training Are You? By Jim Wendler

Here’s my first blog of the year.  Haven’t been free to write sooner.  So if you follow me on Instagran @confessionsofanangrymetalhead you’ll most likely also see the hashtag #jimwendlerisgod underneath most of my lifting related posts.  Well, he is; and here’s one of many reasons why!

Underneath this is the link to a blog piece I just discovered on his website which pretty much sums of his training philosophy along with that of most real lifters using two very extremely different musical styles.  So click down below, read, enjoy, and ask yourself this: Are you real?  Or are you just a phony?

https://jimwendler.com/blogs/jimwendler-com/101066310-darkthrone-or-metallica-which-training-are-you

Quick Powerlifting Update

REvPS

I recently signed up for my second powerlifting competition, The RPS Jersey Rumble, happening on Saturday, May 20th at the Ramada Plaza Hotel in Newark, NJ.  Unlike last year, where I competed in the 198lb weight class I’ll be in the 181lb class this time, since I dropped down to 172lbs since last May.  I’m still undecided on all my lifts.  I’m pretty sure I’m going for a 400lbs Deadlift.  I’ll either go for a 300lbs squat or I’ll go a bit higher.  My Bench Press?  QDisgraceful.  I might keep that real low.

I hope to start recording my meet prep soon.  It’s been so hard because while my new gym is surprisingly really good there are nights were it’s just so fucking overcrowded with college kids.  Fuck, I had to foam roll by the outside locker area just two nights ago because the entire designated stretching area was crowded.  A stretching area!  Oh yeah, since I last wrote in here I had to leave Sports Club because they increased my monthly payments without warning me.  Unacceptable.  I’m now at Blink Fitness, which surprising has five Hammer Strength power racks and Olympic bars with knurling so deep and juicy, as one of my Instagram followers put it, that it WILL rip up your shins during deadlifts and WILL rip the skin off your hands if your grip isn’t there.  I just wish it wasn’t so crowded at night!

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