In part 1 I discussed our training “philosophy” along with my warmup routine. So here’s what you’ve all waited for! I decided to provide not one, but TWO templates for you to choose from. These are full body routines, because the body needs as much volume as possible, especially when you’re just starting. Constant stimulation is also CRUCIAL for rapid growth.
The basis for both of these templates are made up of the Squat, Bench Press, Deadlift and Overhead Press. All classic beginner routines are comprised of these moves because they’re compound lifts, meaning they work more than “just” one body part. But make no mistake, I’m not here to explain the kinesiology of every lift. You can go on plenty of sites for that shit. Remember, make sure you warm up before doing ANYTHING else and, if you have a mini resistance band, take that with you. So, with that being said, and because I wanted to make a Metal themed routine for building a strength foundation, here’s Template A and B of Lift With Hatred: The Sabbath Years.
Back Extensions – 3 x 10 or 3 x 20 (with resistance band)
Squat – 4 x 4-6 or 1 x 20 depending on your goals (preceded by resistance band shoulder warmup)
Bench Press – 4 x 4-6 (preceded by resistance band shoulder warmup and/or set of chin ups to failure)
Chinups – 4 x failure (you can also superset these with the Bench Press to save time)
Overhead Press – 4 x 4 – 6
Deadlift – 1 x 5
This is an alternating A-B-A/B-A-B style routine.
Back Extensions – 3×10 or 3×20
Squat – 3 x 15
Bench Press – 3 x 15
Deadlift – 3 x 15
Back Extensions – 3 x 10 or 3 x 20
Dumbbell Lunge – 3 x 15
Overhead Press – 3 x 15
Bent Over Row – 3 x 15
This is as basic and primitive as it gets, much like the first few Black Sabbath records (especially Master Of Reality!). They’re equally as brutal as they are simple as time progresses. Same shit with these exercises. It’s going to be beyond GED simple at first. But the workouts will become difficult as the intensity increases. It’s just up to you to figure out if you can handle it after a while.
Sets And Reps
This shit varies depending on the template. For Template A I wanted you to be able to get in more sets for the sake of more stimulation. In most proven strength routines, more than three sets are usually prescribed. More sets equals more volume, which makes for more stimulation throughout the body. Just because some doctor prescribed three sets per exercise back in the 30’s doesn’t mean you have to just perform three sets. Also, I suggested a set 20 for the Squat as an option for you younger kids reading this. I took the idea from Stuart McRobert’s book Brawn. Stuart speaks about the classic 20 Rep Squat routine which is beyond simple, yet beyond BRUTAL on your legs. But your legs will be huge. Trust me.
Template B offers a more size oriented approach, bringing in dumbbells for one exercise, which will absolutely force more muscle fibers to be used to stimulate more growth. That’s also why the reps are increased here. It’s for this reason that this template offers more of a variety. In fact, the alternating days gives you a chance to use an extra day to recover from the power moves while focusing on more size oriented moves, and vice versa. I wrote a modified version of this template for my first client and he was a believer in full body training after a few weeks.
Template A is a three month cycle that’s to be trained three times a week, like most strength routines. Both of these routines call for a linear progression, meaning the weights will be increased every week. So make sure to increase the poundage accordingly. I’d say increase the lower body poundages by 10lbs for the Squat and 10 – 20lbs for the Deadlift. Increase the upper body poundages by 5lbs or even 2.5lbs.
For Template B, the recommended poundage increases are the same. But the difference here is this is just Phase One of what will be four phases. Which each phase comes a decrease in the amount of reps per set and, by Phase Four, the sets will increase to order to bring up the volume. If you like this let me know and I’ll write up the other three phases.
You might notice that I started every routine with this. Many of you might ask “…but Angry Metalhead, why can’t I do this as an accessory move like everyone else??” Simple, because we’re not training to be like everyone else you asshole! Not only that, but because, as I learned from reading up on Reg Park, training the lower back while it’s fresh loosens and strengthens it. Everyone forgets that training the lower back is as much of Core training as training your abs is.
And as I found out, a strong lower back makes for a much stronger Squat and Deadlift. But hey what the fuck do I know, I just know I once was able to deadlift 380lbs without a belt for a reason. After you get used to the exercise, you can add a mini resistance band to add tension. After that you can also add weight. Or, if you’re pressed for time you can simply just use the mini band and add ten extra reps per set.
One more thing. Guys, make sure you adjust yourself before you perform this move. Take it from me, there’s no feeling more annoying than that of crushing your own balls because you didn’t fix yourself up on the station. Your woman or man or whatever needs you to have healthy nuts guys!
Did you really thing that Squats and Deadlift just required strong legs? Fuck no, it’s all about that Hip Drive, as Mark Rippetoe says. All Hip Hinge moves, like the Squat , Deadlift, Back Extensions, etc., require the hips to start AND finish the move. Strong hips make for big numbers. Strong hips also carry over into other aspects of life too. Guys, you want to be absolute fuck machine with your wife/girlfriend/baby mamma/one night stand? Use those hips. Ladies, wanna be a fuck machine and show your husband/boyfriend/baby daddy/one night stand that you can keep up with the thrusting? Use your hips!
I saved the best for last because I wanted to send a clear message to all of you reading this. I spoke on two separate occasions about grip strength, and the importance of not wearing gloves while performing any exercise or program. Fuck, I even provided a real life depiction of what you look like when you wear gloves in my last article! Gloves do provide protection…but it’s still lamer than wearing a rubber. At least with a rubber you’re trying to avoiding something that might not be wanted right now!
So, to further add to my argument as to why you should NEVER wear gloves to the gym, ladies and germs, meet Sparkles!
Sparkles is a cross dressing manicurist who underwent TWO gender reassignments (he’s very confused). He’s great at bedazzling your nails. His ass looks nice in round in a dress. As you can see in the last picture, he’ll also hold your newborn, mixed race baby! Wanna know what Sparkles can’t do? He can’t deadlift worth a shit. Why? It ain’t from the lack of testosterone in his body – it’s because he wears gloves to the gym.
If you want to see how Sparkles fares trying to pull a measly 145lbs, click on the video above!
This is my vision of you, yes YOU. When I see you wearing gloves I see Sparkles. I see a guy with absolutely no desire whatsoever to be stronger than he or even she knows. I see someone with no desire to to be anything other than average, I could give two shits about how much muscle you have. I didn’t pull more than double my bodyweight because I wore gloves. Don’t be average. Don’t be Sparkles.
Post workout stretching in the next installment.
Lift With Hatred Part 1:
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