Tag: NASM CPT From Hell

Lift With Hatred Merchandise Is Out Now!

Posted on by Mike

This has been a long time coming.

I initially thought of the idea during my earliest days on the social media cesspool that is Instagram. It literally just popped in my head while thinking of hashtags in my earliest posts. Then after a while, I began pondering what the phrase “LIFT WITH HATRED” would look like on a shirt, or even a gym style stringer. I hope to have THAT made one day!

It then was a long, on again-off again process between not knowing my ass from my elbow with design programs and personal shit over the last few years. My favorite was when an old friend, who I’ve mentioned on here three times already and will not name in this article, volunteered his services to help me with a design based on a picture I gave him, only to vanish out of my life without warning. So, I just recently decided to stop waiting around for nothing and just went for it.

If you’re reading this, the Lift with Hatred clothing line is FINALLY available, and you can click here to see the designs I came up with. You’ll see five different variants of the Lift with Hatred slogan available in t-shirt form, along with option of buying pins, hoodies, posters, coasters and even a gym duffel bag! Get a shirt and wear it to the gym for your next Deadlift PR, or even your next concert. Get a pin and put it on your denim vest (the term battle jacket is fucking gay). Get a poster and a tape that shit on your wall over your couch. Spread the fucking word!

Also, I have started a Lift With Hatred IG account. If you buy any merch, make sure to take pictures of yourself wearing my merch, pissing on it, fucking like two dogs on the street over my shirts, setting them ablaze on a dumpster fire, etc, and tag the Lift with Hatred IG account to be featured on the page!

So, here we are. Ask yourself, “Do I have what it takes?” Do you? Do you have what it takes to be real? Are you realistic enough to know that only YOU can change yourself? Do you look in the mirror and hate what you see so much that you’ll do whatever it takes to not be a weak, fat piece of fucking shit? Do you have what it takes to take channel your anger and to give yourself the single most intense bench day you’ve ever had in the gym? Do you have what it takes to proudly be yourself and not give two shits about what anyone else thinks of you?

If you said “yes” to any of this, click here now, and show that you belong…

Lift with Hatred: The Philosophy

Posted on by Mike

I came up with the idea for Lift with Hatred, possibly in 2016. I wrote my first article about it in 2018; but I never came up with a real philosophy or lifestyle behind the idea. But after being inspired by a lethal combination of caffeine and the hideous site of people while training, I have finally created one, coming up with things and typing them up on posts in my Instagram profile so I wouldn’t forget. Read the following and see if you belong…

The Philosophy

Lift With Hatred because you eternally hate yourself and the way you look. You see men and women with unhealthy, fat bodies and you know you can do way better. You also refuse to let everyone else drag you down to their level of mediocrity as a means to quell their own insecurities.

Nothing screams “I’m a lazy fuck” more than the phrase “I don’t have the time”. Oh? You sure had the time to get blackout drunk with your jerk off friends and totally embarrass yourself in front of girls that would never fuck you anyway. You sure had the time to go out with your soccer mom girlfriends (and not the hot ones either!) and drink more white wine and then complain that you’re getting fatter.

You sure had the time prioritize anything else that was probably worthless and brought you several steps closer to becoming even more pathetic than your parents. That’s why in ten years, while you’re all fat and absolutely HORRID looking, I of all people will be far stronger and able to take care of myself than all of you. I’ll probably still be a great fuck too!

So go ahead, keep saying you don’t have the time to get your fat asses and some kind of shape. Do me the fucking favor and die off so I don’t have to look at you. Really, it’s ok!

Lift With Hatred because you hate people. You hate people because they’ve absolutely wronged you or their mere stupidity and/or presence alone absolutely DISGUSTS you.

Lift With Hatred because getting your anger out of your system by punishing your body is far better for your arrest record. It’d be fun to run some piece of shit down with your car, or even take a baseball bat to some stupid cunt; but you simply can’t afford to go to prison just yet.

Lift With Hatred by leaving your commercial fitness center behind. Find a more intimate setting – an actual GYM, even if it’s half the size of your soon-to-be former fitness center, where you will no longer be targeted for training with intensity and with purpose. Find a gym so you won’t ever again be accused of “slamming the weights” just because you pulled more weight than everyone else there. Find a gym so no one will stare at you for being “loud”, not because you were just grunting for the sake of grunting, but because you happened to challenge yourself and just maybe lift something neither you ever lifted before, or that they ever will because they don’t understand the concept of EFFORT.

Lift With Hatred by either surrounding yourself with greatness – another reason to join a real gym – or take all that anger, frustration, violence and rage, and channel it into a singular, laser sharp focus. Tune out every single annoying voice in the place; or maybe you’re fortunate enough to have your own gym at home with all the necessary basic equipment (bench, power rack, some sturdy bars and several plates). All your sights should now be set on that bar on your shoulders, over your head, or on the ground, all waiting to test you. Chalk up – gloves are for pussies after all! Choke the life out of the bar as if it’s someone’s neck. Squeeze tighter than you ever have in your entire life.

Is this you? Do you think you’re worthy? Tell me if you think you’re worthy, and why in the comments.

Brief Sidenote: This main picture above is actually a rough draft for a potential Lift with Hatred shirt.

Don’t Be Like Your Parents, Asshole!

Posted on by Mike

Are you on the cesspool that is social media? Are you somewhere between your thirties and at least close to 50? If you answered “yes” to either of these, are you posting gay ass memes like this on your Instagram or Facebook?

Or maybe this?

900+ Getting Old ideas in 2021 | getting old, bones funny, funny quotes

Or perhaps even this dumb shit?

If this is you (and it probably is) then congratulations on doing the one thing you weren’t supposed to do: you became your parents! And in doing so you have officially failed at life. It’s funny that I, of all people, am talking about living. I hate living. But you fucks are just pathetic.

What happened? Settled down with someone who never knew how to live in the first place and you simply assimilated to please him or her? Never lived a healthy lifestyle (more than likely!)? Hanging around the wrong morons (also a high probability)?

You are supposed to be BETTER than your parents. You’re not better than them if you go around bragging that you’re bald, fat, achy, or that your favorite shitty high school jam was on the oldies station. It’s not funny, it sure isn’t cute. It never was. I’ve fucked women older than you who STILL have the energy and drive (especially the sex drive!) people your age are supposed to have. My psychotic, openly depressed, nearly 72 year old mother has more drive than you and she broke her ankle last year. My 66 year old dad, who has sustained MULTIPLE Powerlifting and labor related injuries is STILL strong as a bull and STILL tries to have a life when he’s not working long ass shifts at a job he’d rather not be in.

So if they can still go out there and LIVE, then I fail to see what the fuck your deal is. Is your lower back hurting? Get off your ass. Literally. Stop sitting down. Your glutes are weak and they’re pulling on your lower back. So exercise and strengthen those areas. Fuck I’ll even help you a bit and give you a few options!

  • Back Extensions (my go-to for a long time. Add a mini resistance band to increase force production.)
  • Glute Bridges (elevate your feet as much as possible)
  • Reverse Hyperextension (my current go-to before I do ANYTHING else)
  • The McGill Big 3

In an unrelated note I highly recommend low back strengthening for you women with big titties. You’ve no idea how annoying you are when I hear you say “they’re hurting my back! I think I want to get a reduction!” Fuck that and you! Just get some muscle and let us enjoy those beautiful fun bags.

Does sleeping in a awkward position hurt you like in a meme I posted above? Simple solution: stop sleeping like that and learn how to properly sleep! What a concept! There is a right way and a wrong way to sleep. Referring again to the lower back: when you sleep on your back, for example, your lumbar spine is not resting on the mattress, especially if you have a big ass like I, because it’s being put into a state of involuntary hyperextension. Therefore, you’re spending up to eight hours adding stress to an already stressed out lower back. For the last several years I’ve been placing pillows underneath my knees when I sleep and now I feel no pain because the lumbar spine is able to relax.

Knees hurt? Unless you’ve sustained a major injury, that too can be fixed. The book Becoming A Supple Leopard offers COUNTLESS ways to fix painful knees, one of which I put to great use in late 2019. Getting fat? Developing the dad bod? Stop eating like shit and get off your ass! I have two cousins in law who were fat probably long before I ever knew them. Upon seeing them both for the first time in twelve years at my brother’s funeral in 2019 it was obvious that they were looking worse. Why? Because they don’t care. So when they go next I’m not even going to question what happened?

This may seem ignorant, one track minded and chauvinistic. It’s not. If this triggers you or pisses you off it simply tells me you’re the loser I’m targeting. All you need to do is eat right, learn how to exercise, learn how to get strong, and learn how to THINK FOR YOUR FUCKING SELVES. As negative as I usually am, guess what – there’s still hope. Guys, eat healthy, eat less, get rid of the gay ass dad bod and try to at least squat your bodyweight. Ladies and especially you moms, I’m sure getting rid of that pooch may be difficult. I’m not here for that. But you can also eat healthy, eat less, lift weights and for fucks sake get rid of that fucking retarded mom/Karen haircut and revive the sexiness I know is in you. Yes, long hair is not only youthful, it’s sexy as can be.

You still have time. Knock it off with the stupid age memes and learn how to be BETTER than your parents. Get into shape because they couldn’t or wouldn’t, and don’t just wait until you’re divorced and too scared to be alone either. It’s over for your parents (well, most of them anyway), it doesn’t have to be for you. Unless you want it to.