Random Thoughts

All Hail The Race Card!

Image result for lisa maria falcone

I’m so disinterested in the things rich celebrities say or do that I had no clue who the fuck Lisa Marie Falcone, with her surgically implanted cheeks…or her piano playing pig, even was until last week.  I also learned that her style of entitlement and ignorance apparently isn’t just for white people anymore either.  Long story boring, her billionaire dipshit husband, Phil Falcone is facing a lawsuit for unpaid wages by former employee, chef Brian Villanueva.

But wait!  Here’s the fun part.  According to Villanueva, here’s what Lisa Maria Falcone had to say about his girlfriend, also a chef, during a dinner party which included Lisa’s supposed best friend Alicia Keys and her husband Swizz Beatz: “Your girlfriend speaks very well. She seems educated. I would describe her as a chocolate-covered marshmallow”.  When asked what the fuck that meant, an arrogant Falcone told Villanueva: “Alicia (Keys) doesn’t speak that way. She didn’t have an education and was just discovered by (record producer) Clive Davis when she was 15 years old. Swizz (Beatz) definitely doesn’t speak that way either.”

Oh, did you think we were finished?  When Falcone finally took notice that her chef just…maybe…was a tad offended, she continued by asking Villanueva: “Do you use the word ‘n—a’ at home with your girlfriend?  I’m Puerto Rican and grew up in Spanish Harlem so I can speak like that.  You’re not ethnic like black people and Puerto Rican people. You’re only a minority.  Talk to my black friends. They will tell you that I am not racist.”

So many things I can say here and so little time.

The Race Card.  Such a classic way to justify ignorance, especially with celebrities and rich folk.  Former Alabama Governor George Wallace, who once claimed: “In the name of the greatest people that have ever trod this earth, I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.”, had the nerve decades later to say in a 2000 documentary on his life that he wasn’t racist and tried to justify it by bring out an elderly black man and saying this man was his best friend.

No, dickhead.  No.

Knowing, or being close friends with one or two people who happen to be of a different ethnicity to you can never justify calling out his/her race in any way.  My oldest friend of thirty years, and literally THE best friend I ever had, is black.  But I also know that if I were to go off on some crazy racist tirade and justify it by saying that my oldest friend is black, he still wouldn’t think twice of putting the kibosh on what we have.  Because he’s not stupid.  And in that same side of things, Lisa Marie Falcone, you ignorant, spoiled cunt, being a Puerto Rican from Spanish Harlem doesn’t justify you singling out anyone – especially when there’s so much money to be taken from you when you – and especially your tax dodging husband – keep fucking up.  Go you!  Jackass!

The Politics Of Hypocrisy

Image result for Michael Bloomberg

“I always believed that leadership involves listening and reading and respecting diverse viewpoints and acknowledging when you didn’t get them right. Over time, I’ve come to understand something that I long struggled to admit to myself: I got something important wrong. I got something important really wrong.

I didn’t understand that back then the full impact that stops were having on the black and Latino communities. I was totally focused on saving lives. But, as we know, good intentions aren’t good enough.
Now, hindsight is 20/20. But, as crime continued to come down as we reduced stops, and as it continued to come down during the next administration, to its credit, I now see that we could and should have acted sooner, and acted faster, to cut the stops. I wish we had and I’m sorry that we didn’t. But I can’t change history. However, today, I want you to know that I realize back then I was wrong and I’m sorry.”
These were former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s words regarding the Stop And Frisk policy just a few days ago.
I’m not one to ever discuss politics on this blog, or ever, really.  And I won’t even get into it now.  But let’s talk about why he’s even apologizing.  Does he truly mean it?  Let’s see…now’s the time to get on the band wagon with every other Democrat hoping to be the next year’s Presidential front runner so….I’m going to go with hell fuck no!  For those of you not in the know, Bloomberg, a life long Democrat switch sides just so he could run for office.
On the outside his views could switch at the drop of a hat.  But on the inside it was different.  As a native New Yorker, and a city worker, I won’t hesitate to say he spent way too much time micro managing the city as if it was his famous corporation.  Also, I directly blame him for the gentrification of the city post 9/11, causing rent to increase across the board, ultimately marking the beginning of the gradual demise of most mom and pop businesses in the city, and also forcing tenants out of their homes and on to the streets.
So with that in mind, is he really sorry that his take on crime and punishment might just be what caused the rift between minority groups and the NYPD, a rift that’s just as strong today as it was when Stop And Frisk was in effect?  Or is the businessman in him just looking to get that much coveted minority vote?  Me?  I’d say some snakes just never change their stripes.  Politics.  The fun just never stops.
My Makeshift Email To My Hypothetical Employees
To anyone who might be new to this site, I work full time in education.  Quite a trip.  For every few students that will work their hardest and always make you smile, there’ll always be that one psycho trying to stab you with a pencil.  Or worse!
So, I receive e-mails from my school’s Assistant Principal every Sunday morning.  Here’s an example of her introductory paragraph:
“Happy Sunday all.  I hope that you are enjoying your weekend.  I had to go out of town this weekend so as I am in the passenger side of the car, riding, I am thinking about what happened this week at work, the mounds of paperwork that need to be done, and what I need to get for Thanksgiving and suddenly, I just look out the window.  We are driving over a bridge and I am just staring out the window intently.  My husband looks over at me and says, “I know that look, you have an idea”.  And I say, “this bridge has me thinking of P.S. ##(don’t think for a second I was going to let you fuckers know where I work!)”.  Have you looked at the characteristics of a bridge.  They have barriers on both sides for your protection.  It serves as a means to get to the other side.”…and so on and so forth, blah blah blah…
I like my Assistant Principal a lot.  I really do.  But let’s face it, this shit is as phony as it gets.  I totally understand what she’s trying to achieve with this dribble.  But does she really expect us to believe she was looking at a bridge, or watching some TV show, or playing some sport and was suddenly inspired to find a correlation between that and the school?  Fuck no!
But it led me think about what I’d do if I was in her position and wanted to stay close with my hypothetical staff.  Would I write a weekly blog like this?  And if I did, what the fuck would I do to at least try to keep it real?  I wonder…
Good Morning!  I hope everyone did something this weekend to improve their overall mental and emotional health in order to begin yet another productive, fulfilling week here.  Let’s be real, that could be a lot of things.  And so long as I don’t see it, I could give two fucks what you do.  Do you drink a fifth of vodka on a Friday night and pick a fight with a random stranger?  Pick up a few hookers to relieve some…tension?  Attend some “parties”?  Perhaps you punch a few walls in your garage?  Who cares?  If it makes you feel fresh and recharged by the time you come back here on Monday morning, as the famous, decades old Nike slogan says – just do it! 
So, my own weekend wasn’t so exciting.  Ran out of beer and was too lazy (and exhausted from dealing with all of your students since no one seems to be able to handle them!) to go out and get more, wasn’t able to hit that 400lb squat in the gym and BOTH my fuck buddies were sick.  What the fuck are the chances of THAT happening?  So, with nowhere else to turn to, I broke out the laptop and watched an old clip from the favorites section of my YouPorn account!  In a clip entitled “Man, His Wife, And The Babysitter”, the wife walks in on his husband….well…getting sucked off by the babysitter.  Well, duh! 
Long story boring, the wife decides to take control of the situation by forcing the now guilt stricken babysitter to continue sucking her husband off, ultimately taking turns fucking this guy that, in any REAL situation would never be this lucky.  And of course, wifey, the betrayal still fresh in her mind, waits until he’s good and spent before declaring “I want a divorce!”, as she storms out of her soon to be ex’s office.  
This whole situation got me to thinking of our school, its trials and tribulations, its many ups and downs (no not THOSE ups and downs!),who’s backstabbing and betraying who, and feelings among each other as a staff and as a family.  You don’t need to be told that we won’t always agree with each other’s ideas and approaches on helping our students succeed.  In fact, I’m almost positive some of you ICT teachers in particular are ready to just KILL each other after ten months of conflicting personalities, approaches, intrusions such as teacher assistants and cluster teachers changing preps on you.  But if three people can have super hot sex in the most awkward of times, with the older wife showing the younger, greener babysitter how it’s done, then I fail to see how we as a staff cannot get through the most awkward of moments by simply taking the raw emotion out of a situation.
For ten months out of the year we need to set an example to these impressionable, young scholars.  What example do you think we set if we fight in front of them?  What sense of authority or even stability are we providing if, for 6 and a half measly hours per day, we can’t keep it together?  Of course, this is not to say break out into having sex if you have to show your co-teacher “how it’s done”…but if you do just make sure it’s in a closet somewhere and take pictures!  😉  It’s time for me to go clean myself off.  But I’ll leave you with this before I go: just ride it out until June and on that last day, in the same way that pissed off wife declared she wanted a divorce, you can tell you co-teacher to go fuck him/herself and ride off into the sunset until September…only to begin the whole process all over again.  See you all tomorrow!
Respectfully Yours,
Your Angry Metalhead Principal
Follow me on social media.  Or not.

Lift With Hatred: The Workout – Part 1

I’ve been talking about this for a year.  My own training template for beginning lifters, an easy, basic, bullshit free style, thoughtfully put together through many sources plus my experience both as a personal trainer as well as someone who once struggled to the point that all seemed hopeless.  Training, regardless of your goals, is much more of a cerebral game than most newbies would realize.

You have to learn the art of Autoregulation, listening to your body to realize what kind of stimuli it will and won’t respond to in terms of exercises and reps and sets and all that bullshit.  Speaking of bullshit, be ready to have have all sorts of advice thrown your way by both the ones who actually look like they lift and especially the ones who look more like they just took some program off Bodybuilding.com without doing any real research and just began “working out” a few weeks ago.  They’re hilarious!  But more important than either of those, is the development of your mental toughness.

The lifts you’ll be performing will be simple, but brutal after a while.  You’ll be repeating a lot of these almost every workout and you’ll get bored.  You can either just give up because you can’t take the repetition, or you can suck it up, follow the program to the T and reap the rewards later.  Yeah, I’m an angry asshole – and lack of patience usually comes with being angry!  But I at least understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day either.  But hey, what the fuck do I know?  I only Deadlift more than double my bodyweight.

Training Philosophy

Why do we Lift With Hatred?  What’s your daily life like?  Kids?  Nagging wife/girlfriend/baby mama?  Nagging husband/boyfriend/baby daddy?  Feeling disrespected by your boss?  Colleagues?  Random pieces of shit on the streets who need to be put in their place?  They all have one thing in common: it all can get to your head.

Lift With Hatred isn’t “just” some fucking saying I came up with to look awesome.  It’s cerebral.  It’s emotion.  It’s taking all the negativity that you endure throughout your day, and channeling it into something badass, like hitting a squat PR with everything you have.  Let’s face it, I’d love to beat the shit out of one or two of my “colleagues” at work…as well as several “family” members; but I also know that I’m not in the mood to go to jail right now.

Lift With Hatred is a way of life.  So how exactly do we Lift With Hatred?  You look deep into your mind; think about one person who always does you wrong, or your significant other who cheated on you, or that random shithead on the streets you said the wrong thing.  Take those feelings of wanting to beat them to the point of near death (the movie Bugsy comes to mind!), and take it out on those weights.  Why?  Because a powerful physique is far more beneficial than a rap sheet!

The Do’s and Don’ts Of What You’ll Need

I delved into this a little bit in an article called Lift With Hatred: Stupid Shit In The Gym.  But here’s is small, ridiculously simple list of what you’ll need to start off – and it’s not much – along with what you definitely won’t need.

Need

Shoes With A Flat Sole

IMG_0041

This is often recommended by a lot of reputable coaches and for good reason.  In as  simple of an explanation as possible, you want to always be able to “split the ground”, or push down against the floor, when performing any compound move.  You can’t do that if your shoes don’t allow you feet to be completely on the floor.  So most sneakers are out of the question.  A flat sole usually provides a bit more traction and allows you to use your posterior chain more, which is crucial for most strength based routines.  If you’ve been squatting for a while in sneakers, I guarantee you’ll quickly find out how strong your squat really is once you switch over.  I switched over in 2010 and I couldn’t believe how weak I really was (see the Chuck Taylors above!)!  There’s also the possibility of tipping over during a heavy squat or deadlift.  So you can take my word for it or not.  Up to you.  Just don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.  Recommendations include but are not limited to: Converse Chuck Taylor hi tops, Otomix or Adidas Wrestling Shoes.  Don’t worry about getting Adidas Powerlifts, Do-Wins, or anything with a heel until it’s absolutely necessary.

Mini Resistance Bands

Screenshot_20190512-140927

Resistance bands in short are fucking amazing.  These bands were popularized by those sadistic lunatics over at Westside Barbell long ago, and now everyone and their mother uses them.  Why?  Constant tension.  Advanced and elite level lifters use them at multiple sizes to add weighted tension to lighter percentages of their maxes, because more tension will force you to work faster.  Remember, speed is one of the two components of power.  But you’ll be using these as a quick warm up for your rear delts before every workout because they’re not only conveniently small enough to carry, but because not every gym has a dowel rod available for a move like Shoulder Dislocations.  So for that reason, just order a mini band.

Foam Roller

I first read about foam rollers more than a decade ago in a Men’s Health workout guide that’s I’m pretty sure I still have somewhere; but I’m pretty sure it was Muscle And Fitness that called it “The Poor Man’s Massage”.  And it is.  It’s also a great way to open up the muscles at the beginning of your warm-up.  Does your job require you to sit all day long?  You’re hips, lats, pectorals and front delts are probably tighter than your fifteen year old sister, and you’ll know where those tender spots are when you find it.  You’ll be yelling “hurts so good!” like the closet submissive that you are in no time!

See the source image

Lacrosse Ball

Use a Lacrosse ball to massage areas that you might not be able to successfully hit with a foam roller, such as you piriformis and especially your feet.

Don’t Need 

Any Kind Of Lifting Belt

Go ahead and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about.  Done?  Feel better?  Great – now go suck me!  Now that that’s out of the way…you’re reading this correctly.  If you’re just starting ANY routine, you do NOT need a belt of any kind.  The purpose of a belt is to provide you with  something to push your abs into, allowing the abs to achieve an even harder contraction.  But unless you’re squatting or deadlifting more than you weigh, focus on developing your “natural belt”, aka your abs.  At one point you’ll need one, but for this beginner’s routine I wouldn’t worry about it.

Almost Every Supplement Out There

Here’s another thing that’ll have people telling me I know nothing.  They can still go suck me.  Not including protein powder, there’s no need to spend your money on any kind of preworkout, creatine monohydrate, or fat burners.  I’m not saying they don’t have they’re place; but if you’re new to training and are thin, you need to eat as if you’re one of the fat slobs slowly marching toward death’s door in Supersize Me, clearly rendering fat burners useless here ((although they don’t really do much at all!).  In terms of preworkout, there’s no real need for that much caffeine if you’re just starting with an empty bar.  Creatine Monohydrate is arguably the single safest supplement out there, especially in it’s powdered form (which is cheaper yet way more effective than it’s pill form).  It retains water in the muscles.  Sodium does the same shit.  But if you want to use Creatine, I’d recommend at least seeing what kind of muscular foundation you can build without it on your own first.  Otherwise, you could just take a tablespoon of sea salt and mix that in a gallon of water.

Gloves

See the source image

An actual depiction of what you look like when you wear gloves to the gym.

Gloves: GAY.  I definitely when on a tirade regarding gloves in the article I mentioned above.  But to be short: DO NOT WEAR FUCKING GLOVES.  Unless you have nerve damage you don’t need them.  Gloves provide a layer between your hands and the bar.  Sounds like protection, and it is.  But your grip strength won’t develop and it needs to in order for this or any REAL program to work.  One of my clients recently bitched when he realized he was developing calluses on his hands, saying when he touched his wife he wanted smooth hands for her.  Yeah?  You know what your wife would appreciate more?  Man hands!  So do yourself a favor and ditch the gloves.  Actually no…BURN THEM.  Or go get a sex change and start calling yourself Sparkles while singing along to this:

The Warm-Up

Here’s a simple warm-up that should take a least ten minutes once you get the hang of everything.  For this you’ll need your foam roller and your mini resistance band.  Some of the moves you’ll see here I’ve taken from either books I’ve read over the years or things I’ve learned recently.  Some of this is taken from the DeFranco Agile 8 (I’ll leave a link below).

  1. Start off by foam rolling your entire body.  As I mentioned earlier, some of you might have jobs that require sitting all day.  So some of the key joints and limbs here might be real tight.  That’s why it’s important to hit EVERYTHING, not just your shoulders, legs and hips.  Foam roll your piriformis (or use a lacrosse ball), your pecs, even your biceps (they’re connected to your shoulders after all).
  2. Dynamic Warm-up.   Remember when your elementary school gym teacher made you do shit like jumping jacks and jogging in place before actually doing anything?  Well they were on to something.  Dynamic movements help loosen your muscles, as well as increase your heart rate.  Never EVER perform static stretches before working out.  Stretching a cold muscle could possibly lead to an injury.  This warm-up includes body only movements along with resistance band movements for the rear delts:

Body Only

Side Planks: 20 – 30 seconds per side

Leg Swings: 10 – 15 swings per leg (make sure you feel the stretch in both your quads and your hamstrings depending on the direction)

Groiners: ten reps altogether.

With A Mini Resistance Band 

Band Pull Aparts: 8 – 12 reps above the nipple line, followed by 8 – 12 reps below the nipple line (where you’d position the bar for the Bench Press); Banded Shoulder Dislocations: 8 – 12 reps; Band Face Pull With External Rotation: 8 – 12 reps.  When I  say external rotation, I simply mean that instead of finishing the movement with your fists facing in front of you and over your head, they instead will be facing you as if you’re flexing your biceps, or jerking off two dicks in a bukkake video, or whatever floats your boat.

I’d actually hold off on the resistance band portion of the warm-up until you’re ready to perform any upper body movements.  In Part 2 of the workout I’ll be presenting to separate templates for two relatively different goals.  But both workouts will be starting with a posterior chain exercise to isolate the lower back and there’s no point, really, in warming up the shoulders to work on your lower back.  But that’s just my two sense.  Stay tuned for part 2.  Feel free to message me with any questions, complaints, death threats, sacrifices, etc.

Buy Shit:

Mini Resistance Bands:

Westside Barbell Mini Band

Foam Rollers:

https://www.amazon.com/TriggerPoint-Roller-Instructional-Original-13-inch/dp/B008YPZQCU

Cheap Yet Highly Effective Weight Lifting Shoes:

https://www.amazon.com/Converse-Mens-Chuck-Taylor-Women/dp/B000OLVPBI/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2Q3JPVWFSXZ7Z&keywords=chuck+taylors&qid=1564284391&s=sporting-goods&sprefix=chuck+%2Csporting%2C136&sr=1-4

My Tirade On Gym Fads:

https://metalheadconfessions.com/2018/09/25/lift-with-hatred-stupid-shit-in-the-gym/

Sources:

https://www.t-nation.com/training/defranco-agile-8

How to Deadlift with Proper Form: The Definitive Guide

https://www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/lacrosse-ball-massage#9

Album Of The Year 2018

I know what you’re thinking.  There are a few albums I could’ve easily picked to be my top pick for this year’s Album Of The Year pick.   Hate Eternal and High On Fire both came out with new albums.  Fuck, speaking of Matt Pike and High On Fire, his previous band, Sleep, released a comeback album that some of you are STILL fisting yourselves to!  And that’s fine…but I can give two shits because Alice In Chains came back with an amazingly, dark, depressing, desolate new album. I’m talking better than 2013’s The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here by fucking far!

Oh sure, I was already excited since I’ve worshiped this band and especially Jerry Cantrell for half my life now; but then I heard the opening single:

Well holy shit.  Just go straight to that chorus line and I can swear the music sounds like it could’ve fit beautifully on the band’s 1995 self titled album.  In fact, a major portion of Rainier Fog sounds very much like it would’ve fit right in on the aforementioned self titled album.  And as it turns out, the band decided to take trip back to the past to get the right aura for recording my Album Of The Year.

The band set up camp back in Seattle at Studio X, former Bad Animals Studios, which Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart owned between 1991 and 1997 and as actually named after their their 1987 album of the same name (this was when Heart were 80s sellouts playing shit arena rock).  Bad Animals is where the band recorded their self titled album, sadly their last with the late Layne Staley on vocals.  So needless to say, if you believe in ghosts, you just might here one of two on here.

The product of this return to their roots of sorts is such a fucking downer.  It’s so depressing it’s beautiful.  Gone are a lot of the Heavy Metal aspects of their previous album and especially their 2009 masterpiece of a comeback album, Black Gives Way To Blue; but there is still a shit ton of Doom all around, providing the proverbial atmosphere of a perennial rainy day.  Make no mistake though, Rainier Fog is still heavy as balls, still an exercise in Sabbath worship.

Tracks such as “The One You Know”, “Rainier Fog”, Cantrell’s tribute to the Seattle scene, “Red Giant”, “Drone” and “Never Fade”, the second single from the album, prove Alice are still the very definition of a modern day Black Sabbath…and that Cantrell is still a GOD.  These tracks in particular are the closest to being “grungy” as the band has sounded in 23 years, with slow, crushing riffs, drums that supply the groove yet still let the songs breath, and those vocal harmonies.  It can’t be made anymore obvious that whether William DuVall is singing or Jerry himself, Jerry is truly the mastermind behind some of these virtually morbid vocal arrangements.  Only Alice In Chains could ever make me want to kill myself through beautifully depressing harmonies!  In fact, I feel like “The One You Know” can be like the sequel to “Grind”!  And “Drone” is truly a Sabbath Worship song in just about every way.  The chorus line is especially depression as Cantrell sings “I’ll stay here and feed my pet black hole…”.

Speaking of Sabbath Worship, “Deaf Ears Blind Eyes”, is as doomy as it gets.  It’s main, single note guitar lines could’ve easily been used on Master Of Reality.  But what will really grab your attention is Cantrell’s haunting vocal arrangement.  Clearly a song about what happens when you let anxiety run your life, I had to do a double take and make sure I wasn’t listening to a 90’s recording with Layne on vocals because it sure sounded like it!  It’s probably one of to more lyrically profound tracks on here as Cantrell sings “feel like a fake thing/where did the time go?/Memories worth making/pass by the window…”.

On the other end of the Sabbath Worship is “So Far Under”, the one song solely penned by DuVall…who clearly has spent way too much time with Cantrell.  That bending note in the chorus is essentially the “seasick riff” Cantrell used on “Check My Brain”, hence why it can be easily to immediately think Cantrell wrote it.  Oh sure, the lyrics may be some of the most positive on Rainier Fog, but his solo (his not Jerry’s!) screams Tony Iommi and the chorus just happens to bring you r right back down…and seasick.

As for the lighter tracks on here, “Fly” is essentially the sequel to “Over Now”.  I don’t know how else to put it.  Here…just listen for yourself:

And “Maybe” is literally a tour de force of what Jerry and William are capable of as a vocal duo.  They’ve become so good at it in the last nine years that at times it can be hard to figure out who the fuck is singing what.  It’s yet another song about loneliness but their singing will make you want to embrace it in such a romantic way.  If you think I’m nuts after reading that line you’re not an Alice In Chains fan.

Oh, and speaking of loneliness, the most depressing, emotionally draining song on here clearly had to be saved for last.  “All I Am” is sad as fuck from the first atmospheric pulse as it cuts through the ending to “Never Fade”.  It’s hard to really say what the hell Jerry is talking about here.  But I can only assume it’s about someone who’s so damaged from drug use that he can’t even recognize himself anymore.  Would that be too much of a surprise?  Let’s not forget that drugs nearly decimated this band with Layne’s tragic death sixteen years ago to heroin and cocaine.  Everyone in this band were all guilty.  AS I mentioned in my review of Dirt, Jerry was drinking heavily and taking Xanax during the sessions for it.  I just know that when I heard it, I imagine someone on a raft, struggling to stay afloat as he’s being rushed through rapids, rain teaming down in him.  The final result?  Does he survive and rise above?  Does he drown?  It’s all up to you, the listener.  I just know that if you want an album that makes you feel every negative, suicidal emotion you can, Rainier Fog is your go to album.

 

Random Thoughts

Fuck, where to begin here…

Being nearly 34 now (last month marked three years since I started this blog, by the way) and working with some real shitheads in a really fucked up part of Brooklyn, NY, I’m often bothered when I hear people say stupid shit like “Man, kids these days don’t know better”, “Kids these days don’t know what hard work is!”, “Kids these days are so dumb!”, blah blah blah.  Lets face it, EVERY fucking generation has said that about the generation succeeding them.  But in reality, I 100% blame the parents for the way I see some of these fuckfaces act.  I’d know – I’ve met parents who either have no clue how to control their own kids or they’ve no desire to because they still want to party like they did before that fateful night in which they got knocked up by that baby daddy who would disappear just days later.

Then, I hear about some shit as outlandish as THIS and I have to wonder if just maybe today’s youth really are that fucking stupid.

See the source image

The…Condom Snorting Challenge???

Yeah, you read that sub-title correctly.  Earlier this year, kids all over were eating Tide pods…I sadly had no real time to fully write about it, although I did make remarks regarding the situation on my Instagram and Facebook accounts.  So, I only found out about this shit yesterday, just as I was wondering it these idiots could somehow outdo themselves in the Retard Department.  Well, I guess they can, eh?  Just ask the retard in the picture above!

So according to CBS News, this actually started a few years ago for about five seconds and then was sadly just revived recently.  What is this “challenge” exactly?  You snort a whole condom up one nostril, inhaling it, and hoping it comes out of your mouth.  Has your ultra kinky wife/girlfriend ever tried anything this fucking stupid??  Exactly.  And teenagers are doing this.

As I write this now I’m reminded of Andrew Salvatore, an old friend I went to elementary and junior high school with.  I bumped into him at a Brendan Small (Metalocalypse) show at Starland Ballroom in 2009 after not seeing him for nearly five years.  He was now a paramedic in Tom’s River and he told me that the then-latest drug craze surely outdid any of his old “get high” attempts.  Kids were letting their own human waste ferment in the sun, wrapped in a balloon, and then inhale it inhale it in order to feel the effects of Jenkem, a hallucinogen created by the fermentation.  And what does this hallucinogen do exactly?  It allegedly allows these idiots to have “visions” unlike sniffing glue in which you hear voices.  I wonder if these “visions” are of random people who look just like me, telling them that they should go kill themselves?  Because that’s exactly what anyone INHALING THEIR OWN SHIT should do right now.  Yesterday.

Digressions aside though, there actually is a silver lining to this condom snorting shit, if you could believe that.  According to Dr. Robert Glatter in the earlier mention CBS report, “Even if you successfully complete the challenge and pull the condom out your mouth, the bottom line is that it’s incredibly irritating and a good chance it will wreak havoc on your sinuses, nasal passages, and upper airway”.  That’s right kids!  If you’re too stupid to remember that there are lubricants and chemicals in those rubbers you’re putting up your nose, you really do deserve every horrible burning sensation and all the damage that will be done your sinus cavities.  You also deserve nothing but the feelings of worthlessness for the rest of your lives.

nasim-najafi-aghdam-youtube-2018-4-4.jpg

The YouTube Shooting

Before I go any further with this I want to make clear that what happened yesterday was nothing to laugh about, obviously.  This could’ve happened to anyone, anywhere, and it’s a miracle this piece of shit’s victims are still alive.

Now that I got that out of the way, let’s take a brief look at Nasim Aghdam, the Iranian “Vegan Bodybuilder” (she hardly looked the part to begin with!) who drove ten hours just to shoot up the YouTube offices in San Bruno, CA with 9mm handgun:

 

Speaking of hallucinogens….if you watched this video ALL THE WAY TO THE END, then I really want to know what you’re on and if I could get some.  There’s no way anyone in their right mind could take that one video alone seriously.  I can see that YouTube decided to remove this shit just on the basis that it just RETARDED.  In some of her now deleted rants, this self righteous vegan psycho said that “I am being discriminated and filtered on YouTube. My new videos hardly get views”.

Ok and so the fuck what?  I only started posting workout videos on YouTube two years ago and they hardly get ANY views.  Fuck that, in the twelve years since I started my account I’ve only amassed a staggering 159 subscribers.  I guess I should get my old 20 gauge out, drive cross country and start firing away, right?  Hey, maybe if you didn’t release just stupidity you would’ve never accused YouTube of ruining your life – or maybe you could’ve gotten a real job.  Then again…who’d hire a militant jackass like you anyway?

But I’m going to repeat a statement I made on my Facebook account about jackasses like this.  She was a vegan?  Just for that she should’ve killed herself a long time ago – and I would’ve been more than happy to help her get the job done while eat a nice, juicy, rack of ribs – or even a filet mignon.  Go fuck yourself, and if Hell really does exist I hope you fucking rot.  Let this be a message to all of you: if you want to shoot things because social media is ruining your life, just maybe you should look in the mirror you fucking losers.  You can either then see that YOU ARE THE PROBLEM AND NEED TO CHANGE NOW….or just go ahead and kill yourselves, remaining a laughing stock even in death, like this stupid bitch.

The CBS Report On The Condom Shit:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/condom-snorting-challenge-experts-warn-dangerous-trend/

Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and now Tumblr:

https://www.facebook.com/confessionsofanangrymetalhead/

https://confessionsofanangrymetalhead.tumblr.com/

https://www.instagram.com/confessionsofanangrymetalhead/

In Memory Of “Fast” Eddie Clarke…and the end of a legend.

Wen I began this blog in March of 2015, I clearly had no way of knowing that within months I’d begin paying tribute to the dying members of the classic Motorhead lineup as they slowly began dying.  It started with drummer “Philthy Animal” Taylor, then a few weeks later we lost Lemmy himself, obviously signaling the end of the band.  Then came the news earlier this month that we lost guitarist “Fast” Eddie Clarke on Jan 10, 2018 due to pneumonia.  What a shitty way to start off the new year, because he was the last surviving member of the original lineup that brought us such filthy albums like Overkill,  Bomber, and of course, Ace Of Spades.

Wanna know why those early albums were so influential?  Yeah, Lemmy and “Philthy” brought the thunder, but Eddie brought the filth.  Eddie’s guitar style is heavily rooted in blues, and rightfully so.  But the way he incorporated it into the Motorhead sound was just…so…fucking…imperfect that it was perfect!  His riffs, his speed, his ATTITUDE, the let it fly style in his solos.  Add in that voice that sounds like Lemmy gargled fire and the result is pure, beautiful, disgusting filth and no one else can come close.  When he left after 1982’s Iron Fist, shit was never the same.  That’s not a knock, Motorhead continued to kick ass all the way until Lemmy died.  But shit just seemed less filthy afterwards. Here are two examples from Overkill that show just how filthy Eddie’s playing was.

 

 

Rest In Peace “Fast” Eddie Clarke.  October 5th, 1950 – January 10th, 2018.

Doug Young: The Hardcore King Of Powerlifting

See that beast in the main picture?  That motherfucker right there is THE reason I became a fan of Powerlifting to begin with.  This is the story of Doug Young, more than a man’s man, but an absolute GOD in the early era of the sport.

I had already gained some interest into what Powerlifting was the day I started surfing YouTube videos thanks to the growing popularity of Starting Strength, a beginner’s strength routine.  I found an old video of a televised Powerlifting event on NBC Sports with commentary from former Powerlifter and coach Terry Todd and a very young Bryant Gumbel.  It turned out to be the 1977 IPF World Championships, held in Perth Australia.  After watching a Squat World Record cat fight between Paul Jordan and Larry Pacifico, which resulted in Paul hurting himself in three places because he went for heavier weight than he could handle like a retard, as well as Vince Anello winning first place in the Mid Heavyweight division for Team USA, it was the Heavyweights’ turn.

Around the minute mark of this particular video Doug Young appeared as he was getting ready to Squat 699lbs.  The intensity in his eyes could burn a hole right through anyone.  Then, as he began to set himself up, you heard that fucking growl.  This wasn’t no ordinary growl, it truly sounded like a bear was coming out.  It was Doug’s inner rage, having to squat that much weight after dropping thirty pounds in just one week in order to make the 242lbs weight class for Team USA.  Oh he made the squat alright, but in doing so he also broke three ribs.

It clearly was pretty unlikely that he’s continue.  But he did, managing to Bench Press 535lbs, Deadlift 710lbs, and even win first place, all while fainting twice in the process.  “Holy fucking shit this guy is hardcore!” was my initial reaction.  I doubt that Larry Pacifico, who Doug even called out before his 710lb Deadlift attempt, would have balls that big as to compete with three broken ribs after dropping thirty pounds in seven days.  I’m not claiming to be the toughest son of a bitch alive but I doubt highly that even modern day guys like Dan Green or Eric Lillibridge would be brave enough to do that.  Well…maybe Eric would be.

doug_young in color

Power Bodybuilding

In between lifters and attempts interviews were shown with the lifters.  But when they showed Doug’s interview he said something interesting.  He revealed that when he wasn’t training specifically for Powerlifting he’d train “for physique”, claiming that everyone should train to be equally as “pretty” as they do to be strong.  This is called Power Bodybuilding today and, as shown in those interview clips, it’s a lot higher in volume than most people would think, as these training clips shown him performing Bodybuilding type moves, such as dumbbell flyes, dumbbell curls and Skull Crushers.

Doug at his best had a 56 inch chest with a tapered waist.  So not only did he have muscle but also didn’t have much fat on him.  It seemed, for a while, that lifters, regardless of their goals, lost the point but I think it’s coming back now, especially with programs like Jim Wendler’s 5/3/1, which I’ve been using for almost two years now, and Chad Wesley Smith’s Juggernaut system.  It’s that equal balance of stimulating the muscles for both growth and strength, while conditioning yourself too.  Doug Young was the early forefather for what it is to truly be in shape.  Oh and by the way, a year he broke his rib Doug was the first man under 300lbs to Bench Press 612lbs.  With just a t-shirt on.

Doug Young, he was to fore bearer of what it is to truly be in shape and be the total package, and one day in his lifting career was more hardcore than your entire life.

Final Thoughts

Unrelated to Doug Young, I just found out that Kai Green has signed up with Super League and, while it appears he’s not leaving the IFBB, it looks like he’s done competing for them.  That’s a fucking shame!  I don’t follow Bodybuilding like I used to but Kai was my boy.  He may have not won 1st place but he has a legacy so much stronger than his win-loss record.  I looked up Super League and realized that I did actually hear about it maybe a week ago.  Looks promising…but on the flipside, is Kai really that insecure about never beating Phil Heath?

Be sure to follow me on Facebook and Instagram:

https://www.facebook.com/confessionsofanangrymetalhead/

https://www.instagram.com/confessionsofanangrymetalhead/

Chris Cornell And The REAL Death Of Grunge

As I write this today, it’s probably been a few hours now since the funeral for Soundgarden frontman Chris Cornell, who literally shocked the shit out of everyone by hanging himself with a resistance band in his Detroit hotel just hours after he got off stage with the band.  How the fuck could Chris Cornell do this to himself, and why??  To everyone he seemed like the LAST person to be tempted to do such a thing.  A lot of things have been coming to light since the news passed, such as the fact that he’d apparently been taking the anti-anxiety drug Ativan.  One of the things that triggered Chris’s wife to called security on him in the first place was that, according to her, Chris sounded very slurred on the phone.  One side effect of a benzo such as Ativan is a drowsiness that happens to last for a long time.

But there clearly was no fucking way that Ativan alone could cause anyone to just say “fuck it” and hang themselves.  As I discovered the aspects of his horrid childhood in preparation for writing this post, including becoming a full blown junkie at just 13, having full access to heroin and prescription pills, we all discovered yesterday that there were visible signs of fresh track marks on his arms.  If he just relapsed recently it had to be while on the road, and therefore there could be no way his wife would’ve known.  Even creepier, in a way, is that during their set closer, “Slaves and Bulldozers”, Chris slickly slipped in lines from Led Zeppelin’s classic “In My Time Of Dying”.  No shit.  Here’s the proof:

Yeah, I’m sure him requesting to the band to actually play the actual song would’ve clearly raised a few eyebrows.  Lets face it, he probably knew what he was going to do.  But I’m not writing about this to discuss the details of his death, or his apparent life long struggle with drugs and depression.  You can clearly find that anywhere else.  I’m here to write about Chris Cornell the ICON.  Because like it or not, depending on who you ask he was probably more of an icon in music than that little bitch Cobain EVER was.  Why?  Because he literally was one of the originals.

There sadly is a lot of historical significance to his death, that can easily be compared to the day Soundgarden originally broke up a little more than twenty years ago.  Again, depending on whose opinion you ask for, especially the mainstream media shitheads, Grunge died when Cobain offed himself in 1994, causing record labels everywhere to find as many copycats as they could, or face the unnecessary fear of losing money quicker than Wall Street on Black Monday.  But ask anyone else, and they’ll most likely say that Grunge died the day Soundgarden called it quits because they were one of just two bands remaining from the original six band from Seattle to not just manage to stay together, but actually find success.

Long before Shitvana was even a thought Soundgarden was formed by Cornell, Kim Thayil and Hiro Yamamoto in Seattle in 1984.  In 1986 the band were featured on a compilation called Deep Six.  The first release by C/Z Records, it showcase the burgeoning Seattle sound featuring multiple songs from them, The Melvins, Skin Yard, Green River, Malfunkshun, and The U-Men.  While Chris’ immense vocal talents were not yet fully developed, you can clearly hear signs of things to come on this original version of “All Your Lies”, which was later re-recorded for their SST Records debut album, Ultramega OK.

Before I go any further I need to make something clear.  I truly feel now, as an older man of 33, that the term Grunge itself was blown out of proportion too much.  I understand the according to musical standards Grunge is supposed to be the combination of Punk and Metal, with each band leaning toward either genre over the other.  But I honestly feel like Grunge was just a scene, not a musical style.  Hell, just listen to any of the Big Four: Soundgarden, Nirvana, Alice In Chains and Perl Jam.  Fuck the visions of flannel and stories of rampant heroin use among all of them – did ANY of them truly SOUND alike??  If you’re smart then you don’t need me to tell you that the answer is hell fuck no!  Especially in the case of Soundgarden and Alice!

But in the history books, it was Soundgarden who was the first Seattle band from that scene to be signed​ to a major label before any of them.  And while most people clearly weren’t ready for them just yet, it was clear that Cornell was a GOD on the mic, lending to a sound that was easily comparable to Robert Plant fronting Black Sabbath.

For example!

Did you hear that beginning scream blending in beautifully with Kim Thayil’s guitar feedback??  Just tell me that wasn’t EPIC as fuck!!  There are many Soundgarden/Grunge purists who favor Louder Than Love over the later albums, and it’s easy to see why.  But…they clearly didn’t listen to him, as Henry Rollins said in 2000, “peel the paint off walls!” during the song “Jesus Christ Pose” off their 1991 breakthrough album, Badmotorfinger.  Go straight to the 5:13 mark to here the wail of a GOD.

That’s the other most important quality of Soundgarden and especially Chris.  Dave Navarro just yesterday stated that the band were one of the rare few bands of the late 80’s to come out that had both talent AND substance.  The substance?  Chris’s lyrics.  The song “Jesus Christ Pose” is clearly a song about religious hypocrisy, as he sang:

And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
Like you’ve been carrying a load
And you swear to me
You don’t want to be my slave

But you’re staring at me
Like I, like I need to be saved
Saved, like I need to be saved
Saved

It was lyrics like these that made Soundgarden the thinking man’s metal band in the early 90’s.  But it didn’t end there.  Take this little sample from the song “4th of July” off their 1994 masterpiece, Superunknown:

Pale in the flare light
The scared light cracks and disappears
And leads the scorched ones here
And everywhere no one cares
The fire is spreading
And no one wants to speak about it
Down in the hole
Jesus tries to crack a smile
Beneath another shovel load

I know even Layne Staley or Jerry Cantrell couldn’t even think of lyrics like that.  Add the sludgy riffs and it sounds like a song not even a band like Crowbar could come up with!

This right here is pure Sabbath worship!

That’s what made someone like Chris Cornell a true icon of the Seattle scene, the so-called Grunge scene.  He was THE total package.  He had the talent, the substance, the deep thoughts.  His vocal talents alone were a legitimate RARITY in rock music, with a powerful wail that rivaled ANYONE’s singing during the 90’s.  His lyrics were thoughtful, his riffs could absolutely crush you, they could be so dreamy, and he could even weld them together seamlessly and it’d all make total sense.  Here’s one of my favorite tracks off Superunknown, called “Limowreck”, as an example.

It’s a shame that it took this album and the single “Blackhole Sun”(which I’m blatantly staying away from here) for Soundgarden to finally get the recognition they deserved, ten years after they formed and long after everybody that came along AFTER them got recognition.  This is actually important because Superunknown was released just a month before Cobain died, signaling the beginning of the slow death of what had become a trend so big that flannel was even being worn at fashion shows and sold at even Macy’s.  If you’re old enough to remember seeing the “Gen X” section in Macy’s then congratulations – you’re old!

As said earlier, a sizeable number will tell you Grunge died the day Soundgarden broke up in the spring of 1997.  They were one of the two original surviving bands from the Deep Six era, the other being The Melvins (Thank King Buzzo for introducing Chris and Kim to Drop D tuning).  So while it was a major shock when Soundgarden got back together in 2010, after Chris did several albums with Audioslave (Chris with the jerkoffs from Rage Against The Machine) and an abortion of a solo album with Timbaland, his sudden death is now of even more historical significance than ever.  Yeah, this is beyond tragic and my thoughts go out to Chris’s family.  But from a musical standpoint, we all can sadly say now that if you were to give Grunge a real death date it would be May 18th, 2017, as this so far is the ultimate Heavy Metal tragedy of the year unless something far worse happens.

Rest In Peace Chris Cornell

July 20th, 1964 – May 18th, 2017

Make sure to follow me on Facebook and Instagram:

https://www.facebook.com/Confessions-Of-An-Angry-Metalhead-1237695776242081/

https://www.instagram.com/confessionsofanangrymetalhead/