Dear Shit Stain

Dear Shit Stain,

Let’s be clear, I’ll only be referring to you as Shit Stain for the entirety of this open letter
that maybe you’ll read, maybe you won’t.  Because that’s what you are: a massive shit stain on life.  And speaking of life, I’m honestly STILL trying to wrap my head around the fact that you’re still alive twelve years after the whole world discovered that you’re nothing more than a piece of shit, and that’s all you’ll EVER be.   Why hasn’t anyone tried to do to you what you did to those fucking dogs since then??

“I guess $100 million isn’t enough money, eh?”  Those are the words my then lead singer muttered in my car while on the way to band practice just one night after the news broke that your dumb ass was arrested for running Bad Newz Kennels, a dogfighting ring in Virginia which was most likely funded by that 6 Year $100 million NFL salary of yours.  Ever so slowly did the horrid details of what you and your ghetto trash friends pulled while in business come to light.  Here are a few details for those who might somehow be clueless:

  • You and your buddies hung three dogs in April 2007, after they under performed in a “rolling session”, which determines the dogs’ readiness to fight.
  • You, according to the U.S. Department Of Agriculture, placed family pet dogs into your ring with trained pitbulls, who obviously “caused major injuries” to them.
  • You electrocuted injured dogs who lost their fights
  • There were times were neither you or you’re piece of shit buddies wouldn’t feed your dogs in order to make them “more hungry for the other dog”.
  • Aside from hanging whichever dogs lost their fights, you also would drown, strangle, shoot, or even SLAM THEM REPEATEDLY UNTIL THEY DIED.

That’s all I’ll mention, as listing all that made me want to break my new laptop, since I can’t be there to break your skull.  So it astonishes me that, after your absolutely bullshit apology, you were even brought back to the NFL after you did what you did.  I can’t believe any team would be so willing to take you on.  In fact, it’s one of the reasons why I can never truly respect the Philadelphia Eagles ever again.  Oh sure, they DESTROYED the New England Patriots two Superbowls ago (by which point of course you were long gone, thankfully); but you see Shit Stain, I’m a man of principles.  And as far as I’m concerned, any team that was willing to take you on regardless of your abilities, has zero standards in my book.

So when I found out a few weeks ago the you of all people were appointed to be the Honorary Team Captain in this coming year’s Pro Bowl, I had to laugh.  I laughed even harder when I read Roger Goodell’s bullshit defense of you.  Because let’s face it Shit Stain, and I know I’m not the only one who believes this to be fact: you’re not sorry, nor were you ever sorry for what you did.  Like most jackass politicians who say they’re sorry for cheating on their wives because once they’re in office those said wives won’t fuck them anymore, you’re only sorry because, thanks to your moron cousin’s drug bust, you were caught.  And ruined.  But hey, if pretending to actually give a shit when you involve yourself with animal rights causes in good for business, then I guess Goodell will happily bite, even when deep down he’s knows involving your dumb ass in anything is just wrong.  And if you ever read this Roger, you’re a spineless, dickless little cunt, willing to give up ANY integrity you might’ve had, and all for the sake of ratings.

So while most of us don’t want to even hear your name anymore, let alone watch you on TV in a month (although I know I WON’T be watching), I know what I’d like to see.  Do you want to be in our good graces for real, Shit Stain?  Why don’t you allow us, the fans, the opportunity to electrocute you, whip you, rip your lips off, slam your ass down to the ground multiple times until your bones break, and shoot you when it’s all over – you know, like you and your shithead friends did years ago – live on NBC?  That to me, would bring in some incredible, record breaking ratings.  That dumb fuck Goodell would jizz all over himself once the numbers came in!  But that’ll sadly never happen, because you’re a gutless, dickless fucking coward.

I’m surprised your wife will even fuck you with that microscopic dick of yours.  I refuse to believe you can get hard enough, to penetrate her, to get even the smallest amount of sperm into her so you could even have kids.  So, if I were you, I’d get a DNA test done on your kids because I have a feeling they might be anyone else’s but yours.  Did you understand that?  Was that broken down for you in English that you could understand, you Virginia trash cocksucker?  All of us with a brain hate you and want you to die in a manner that outdoes even the ways you torture those dogs.

So I hope I clarified for you, you worthless fuck, what it’d take for you to get any kind of real respect ever again.  And by the way, if you were to agree to do any thing like that I’d actually donate money to any animal rights charity of your choice.  And I might have to chip in for your funeral too!  Because most of us would be excited to do nothing more than to take a baseball bat and cave your skull in to the point that your brains splattered farther than a fucking grenade blowing up in the middle of a jello factory.  So fuck you, fuck your family, fuck anyone that had anything to do with you, and fuck anybody that looks like you!

My Sources:

https://www.espn.com/nfl/news/story?id=3718304

https://www.foxnews.com/story/gruesome-details-in-indictment-naming-nfl-quarterback-michael-vick-in-dogfighting-case

https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/12/us/michael-vick-pro-bowl-roger-goodell-spt-trnd/index.html

Social Media:

https://www.facebook.com/confessionsofanangrymetalhead

https://www.instagram.com/confessionsofanangrymetalhead/

https://confessionsofanangrymetalhead.tumblr.com/

Random Thoughts

All Hail The Race Card!

Image result for lisa maria falcone

I’m so disinterested in the things rich celebrities say or do that I had no clue who the fuck Lisa Marie Falcone, with her surgically implanted cheeks…or her piano playing pig, even was until last week.  I also learned that her style of entitlement and ignorance apparently isn’t just for white people anymore either.  Long story boring, her billionaire dipshit husband, Phil Falcone is facing a lawsuit for unpaid wages by former employee, chef Brian Villanueva.

But wait!  Here’s the fun part.  According to Villanueva, here’s what Lisa Maria Falcone had to say about his girlfriend, also a chef, during a dinner party which included Lisa’s supposed best friend Alicia Keys and her husband Swizz Beatz: “Your girlfriend speaks very well. She seems educated. I would describe her as a chocolate-covered marshmallow”.  When asked what the fuck that meant, an arrogant Falcone told Villanueva: “Alicia (Keys) doesn’t speak that way. She didn’t have an education and was just discovered by (record producer) Clive Davis when she was 15 years old. Swizz (Beatz) definitely doesn’t speak that way either.”

Oh, did you think we were finished?  When Falcone finally took notice that her chef just…maybe…was a tad offended, she continued by asking Villanueva: “Do you use the word ‘n—a’ at home with your girlfriend?  I’m Puerto Rican and grew up in Spanish Harlem so I can speak like that.  You’re not ethnic like black people and Puerto Rican people. You’re only a minority.  Talk to my black friends. They will tell you that I am not racist.”

So many things I can say here and so little time.

The Race Card.  Such a classic way to justify ignorance, especially with celebrities and rich folk.  Former Alabama Governor George Wallace, who once claimed: “In the name of the greatest people that have ever trod this earth, I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.”, had the nerve decades later to say in a 2000 documentary on his life that he wasn’t racist and tried to justify it by bring out an elderly black man and saying this man was his best friend.

No, dickhead.  No.

Knowing, or being close friends with one or two people who happen to be of a different ethnicity to you can never justify calling out his/her race in any way.  My oldest friend of thirty years, and literally THE best friend I ever had, is black.  But I also know that if I were to go off on some crazy racist tirade and justify it by saying that my oldest friend is black, he still wouldn’t think twice of putting the kibosh on what we have.  Because he’s not stupid.  And in that same side of things, Lisa Marie Falcone, you ignorant, spoiled cunt, being a Puerto Rican from Spanish Harlem doesn’t justify you singling out anyone – especially when there’s so much money to be taken from you when you – and especially your tax dodging husband – keep fucking up.  Go you!  Jackass!

The Politics Of Hypocrisy

Image result for Michael Bloomberg

“I always believed that leadership involves listening and reading and respecting diverse viewpoints and acknowledging when you didn’t get them right. Over time, I’ve come to understand something that I long struggled to admit to myself: I got something important wrong. I got something important really wrong.

I didn’t understand that back then the full impact that stops were having on the black and Latino communities. I was totally focused on saving lives. But, as we know, good intentions aren’t good enough.
Now, hindsight is 20/20. But, as crime continued to come down as we reduced stops, and as it continued to come down during the next administration, to its credit, I now see that we could and should have acted sooner, and acted faster, to cut the stops. I wish we had and I’m sorry that we didn’t. But I can’t change history. However, today, I want you to know that I realize back then I was wrong and I’m sorry.”
These were former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s words regarding the Stop And Frisk policy just a few days ago.
I’m not one to ever discuss politics on this blog, or ever, really.  And I won’t even get into it now.  But let’s talk about why he’s even apologizing.  Does he truly mean it?  Let’s see…now’s the time to get on the band wagon with every other Democrat hoping to be the next year’s Presidential front runner so….I’m going to go with hell fuck no!  For those of you not in the know, Bloomberg, a life long Democrat switch sides just so he could run for office.
On the outside his views could switch at the drop of a hat.  But on the inside it was different.  As a native New Yorker, and a city worker, I won’t hesitate to say he spent way too much time micro managing the city as if it was his famous corporation.  Also, I directly blame him for the gentrification of the city post 9/11, causing rent to increase across the board, ultimately marking the beginning of the gradual demise of most mom and pop businesses in the city, and also forcing tenants out of their homes and on to the streets.
So with that in mind, is he really sorry that his take on crime and punishment might just be what caused the rift between minority groups and the NYPD, a rift that’s just as strong today as it was when Stop And Frisk was in effect?  Or is the businessman in him just looking to get that much coveted minority vote?  Me?  I’d say some snakes just never change their stripes.  Politics.  The fun just never stops.
My Makeshift Email To My Hypothetical Employees
To anyone who might be new to this site, I work full time in education.  Quite a trip.  For every few students that will work their hardest and always make you smile, there’ll always be that one psycho trying to stab you with a pencil.  Or worse!
So, I receive e-mails from my school’s Assistant Principal every Sunday morning.  Here’s an example of her introductory paragraph:
“Happy Sunday all.  I hope that you are enjoying your weekend.  I had to go out of town this weekend so as I am in the passenger side of the car, riding, I am thinking about what happened this week at work, the mounds of paperwork that need to be done, and what I need to get for Thanksgiving and suddenly, I just look out the window.  We are driving over a bridge and I am just staring out the window intently.  My husband looks over at me and says, “I know that look, you have an idea”.  And I say, “this bridge has me thinking of P.S. ##(don’t think for a second I was going to let you fuckers know where I work!)”.  Have you looked at the characteristics of a bridge.  They have barriers on both sides for your protection.  It serves as a means to get to the other side.”…and so on and so forth, blah blah blah…
I like my Assistant Principal a lot.  I really do.  But let’s face it, this shit is as phony as it gets.  I totally understand what she’s trying to achieve with this dribble.  But does she really expect us to believe she was looking at a bridge, or watching some TV show, or playing some sport and was suddenly inspired to find a correlation between that and the school?  Fuck no!
But it led me think about what I’d do if I was in her position and wanted to stay close with my hypothetical staff.  Would I write a weekly blog like this?  And if I did, what the fuck would I do to at least try to keep it real?  I wonder…
Good Morning!  I hope everyone did something this weekend to improve their overall mental and emotional health in order to begin yet another productive, fulfilling week here.  Let’s be real, that could be a lot of things.  And so long as I don’t see it, I could give two fucks what you do.  Do you drink a fifth of vodka on a Friday night and pick a fight with a random stranger?  Pick up a few hookers to relieve some…tension?  Attend some “parties”?  Perhaps you punch a few walls in your garage?  Who cares?  If it makes you feel fresh and recharged by the time you come back here on Monday morning, as the famous, decades old Nike slogan says – just do it! 
So, my own weekend wasn’t so exciting.  Ran out of beer and was too lazy (and exhausted from dealing with all of your students since no one seems to be able to handle them!) to go out and get more, wasn’t able to hit that 400lb squat in the gym and BOTH my fuck buddies were sick.  What the fuck are the chances of THAT happening?  So, with nowhere else to turn to, I broke out the laptop and watched an old clip from the favorites section of my YouPorn account!  In a clip entitled “Man, His Wife, And The Babysitter”, the wife walks in on his husband….well…getting sucked off by the babysitter.  Well, duh! 
Long story boring, the wife decides to take control of the situation by forcing the now guilt stricken babysitter to continue sucking her husband off, ultimately taking turns fucking this guy that, in any REAL situation would never be this lucky.  And of course, wifey, the betrayal still fresh in her mind, waits until he’s good and spent before declaring “I want a divorce!”, as she storms out of her soon to be ex’s office.  
This whole situation got me to thinking of our school, its trials and tribulations, its many ups and downs (no not THOSE ups and downs!),who’s backstabbing and betraying who, and feelings among each other as a staff and as a family.  You don’t need to be told that we won’t always agree with each other’s ideas and approaches on helping our students succeed.  In fact, I’m almost positive some of you ICT teachers in particular are ready to just KILL each other after ten months of conflicting personalities, approaches, intrusions such as teacher assistants and cluster teachers changing preps on you.  But if three people can have super hot sex in the most awkward of times, with the older wife showing the younger, greener babysitter how it’s done, then I fail to see how we as a staff cannot get through the most awkward of moments by simply taking the raw emotion out of a situation.
For ten months out of the year we need to set an example to these impressionable, young scholars.  What example do you think we set if we fight in front of them?  What sense of authority or even stability are we providing if, for 6 and a half measly hours per day, we can’t keep it together?  Of course, this is not to say break out into having sex if you have to show your co-teacher “how it’s done”…but if you do just make sure it’s in a closet somewhere and take pictures!  😉  It’s time for me to go clean myself off.  But I’ll leave you with this before I go: just ride it out until June and on that last day, in the same way that pissed off wife declared she wanted a divorce, you can tell you co-teacher to go fuck him/herself and ride off into the sunset until September…only to begin the whole process all over again.  See you all tomorrow!
Respectfully Yours,
Your Angry Metalhead Principal
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