Random Memories of Trevor

Posted on June 16, 2022June 16, 2022 by Mike

It had to be sometime in early 2003. I was on a bus heading home, and, while I still had probably fifteen more minutes before I reached my destination, I pulled out the latest issue of Revolver Magazine from my backpack. If memory serves me correctly, the magazine included a one-page section highlighting recommended up-and-coming bands. There were three bands, one definitely was Himsa (fucking absolute vomit!), and the only other band I remembered was some band called The Black Dahlia Murder, whose music the magazine categorized as “Megadeth Metal”.

That’s not a joke.

Time would go on and a whole year and a half would pass before I finally came across Unhallowed, The Black Dahlia Murder’s 2003 debut album, probably in Sam Goody. I remember that this was also the same day that I bought the very denim jacket that I’d cut the sleeves off of to make a vest out of.

Unrelated note: Don’t ever use the term “Battle Jacket” to describe your denim vest with patches and buttons and spikes on it. Or go ahead and do so and be as retarded as everyone else that uses the fucking stupid term.

Anyway, my dad drove me home, as I still didn’t have a car yet. I opened up Unhallowed and looked at the cover. What’s in a name? What’s in a cover image? In the early days of mp3 downloading and, with a whole decade to go before Spotify existed, I still bought CDs, and still do so to this day. Therefore, the only way to find out what any band sounded like, was to either download a track or two, or to simply BUY the album. I popped the album into my five-disc changer and the following two tracks fucked me up.

The music in this video is actually the opening instrumental title track to the record and it breaks right into “Funeral Thirst”, so it made sense to just post the video instead of two separate links of any kind.

Either way, upon hearing those two tracks now I remember EXACTLY what stood out to me those most. The music alone was not just balls-out heavy, but those minor chord harmonies happened to make me feel every single negative emotion I ever knew or felt in my entire life. I wanted to cry, I wanted to die, I wanted to choke anyone I could get my hands on. It was hopeless. It was beautiful.

Then I heard that fucking voice. It was like nothing I had heard at the time. It was a hell of a lot more screetchy than most Death Metal bands I’d heard, with the sole exception of Chuck’s vocals on The Sound of Perseverance, Death’s last record. He hit the traditional guttural style as well and I realized that he was using the two styles for the sake of a dynamic that was not there at the time. It changed things up in all the songs and it fucking made things far more exciting.

Clearly whoever described this band as “Megadeth Metal” in Revolver Magazine a year earlier must’ve been either high or just absolutely clueless. The Black Dahlia Murder, especially as made evident in their latter-day releases were more like the greatest Carcass disciples you’ve ever heard!

This was just the beginning of a long ride for the band for the better part of two decades, two decades that would especially see Trevor Strnad standout among the traditional Death Metal frontman stereotype. As serious as he was in the video posted above, his sense of fun and humor would become FAR more prevalent not just in the videos the band would make in the coming years, but in his persona onstage. The best thing about it all was Trevor manage to balance this act out to the point that his goofiness NEVER took away from the band’s or his onstage intensity. He never took himself seriously and that connected with all of us because we knew it was genuine.

But to be clear, his lyrics were as Death Metal, and as brutal as it got. He’s a line or two from “Christ Deformed”, one of my ALL TIME favorite TBDM tracks:

Diabolic ritual open the portal to damnation
Dark legions gathering for virtuous insemination
Molest and sodomize deride the seed of god’s creation
Impale the Nazarene succumb to a spiritual inversion

In our unholy father’s disgusting house of shame
We revel in endless hatred burning so absolute
Corrupting all who’d enter here surrender to darkness
We kneel to those no more who’d burden and beguilt

Within these wretched walls a summoning proceeds
What form will manifest of this abysmal devilry
The children now are bleeding, we eunuchate his sons
To evil blood and fire this earth will soon succumb
With hell reborn
Your Christ be scorned
Dead faith now torn
His love deformed

That’s why I intentionally waited before I wrote this piece. It was hard to let sink in, that not only is Trevor gone, but to think about how it just might’ve happened. But much like with my tribute to Chris Cornell, I will NOT discuss what happened. Enough people have written about that, and we still haven’t a clue as to the whole story. But I, like most fans of The Black Dahlia Murder, have memories of meeting Trevor and even talking with him at length. Things like this, along with his ability to ACTUALLY HAVE FUN are truly why he’s the single most important Death Metal frontman in DECADES. While my memories aren’t as amazing as others, they meant something to me then, and they without question mean something to me now. So, I’ll share them.

It was the summer of 2006, and I traveled with two friends (one of which eventually got what was coming to him via a heart attack) to the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ for the Sounds of The Underground Tour, which included The Black Dahlia Murder, GWAR, Behemoth (and you bet your ass I met Nergal on this day!) and several others. I walked by TBDM’s merch table when I noticed a tall, flabby looking guy with a tattoo that read “HEARTBURN” across his belly. It was Trevor. I walked up to him and introduced myself when he replied, “talk a walk with me for a second”.

“Do me a favor, will ya?”, he asked me, as we walked. “We’re shooting a video for “Statutory Ape” today, and I need you and everybody else in that crowd to go fuckin’ crazy. Can you do that for me?” “Fuck yeah!” I immediately said. Hours later, the band walked on stage and Trevor immediately called out the entire crowd “C’MON YOU PUSSIES!!!!”, as they grinded out “I’m Charming” off Miasma, the same record that includes “Statutory Ape”. Sorry to say that no, I wasn’t crazy enough to be a part of that pit, but once Trevor called them out all bets were off.

My last memory didn’t involve a request to sacrifice myself in the pit, no. I traveled to the now defunct B.B. King’s in Times Square, New York Shitty (I said what I said), to see TBDM along with Hate Eternal and 3 inches Of Blood in January 2008. There might have been one other band on the bill, but I forgot who it was. Anyway, my friends and I arrived at B.B.’s and almost immediately I spotted Trevor at the bar. He looked a lot like he did two years prior, funny looking shorts, topless, hair all disheveled. I walked up to him again and he laughed as we reminisced over our previous meeting.

We parted ways after that, and he eventually found his way backstage. But what I always remembered about both those times was that he made himself accessible. It’s a story we’d ALL go on to hear about him over the years. He always hung out with the fans. Upon moving to Brooklyn (and I’ve to this day no idea why he’d do that to himself!), he apparently hung out at St. Vitus on the regular and would support the local bands and talk with everybody there. He even wrote a column for Metal Injection where he’d recommend underground Extreme Metal bands.

I don’t know many other frontmen of legend status like Trevor’s who’d do all those things. We might not ever completely know what happened to the charismatic (that word doesn’t even do it justice!) frontman of THE single most important Death Metal band of this century so far. But he left an UNDENIABLE mark that can never be removed. There will never be another frontman as genuine as Trevor Strnad.

RIP Trevor Strnad 1981 – 2022

Dear Shit Stain

Posted on December 23, 2019April 8, 2021 by Mike

Dear Shit Stain,

Let’s be clear, I’ll only be referring to you as Shit Stain for the entirety of this open letter

that maybe you’ll read, maybe you won’t. Because that’s what you are: a massive shit stain on life. And speaking of life, I’m honestly STILL trying to wrap my head around the fact that you’re still alive twelve years after the whole world discovered that you’re nothing more than a piece of shit, and that’s all you’ll EVER be. Why hasn’t anyone tried to do to you what you did to those fucking dogs since then??

“I guess $100 million is too much money, eh?” Those are the words my then lead singer muttered in my car while on the way to band practice just one night after the news broke that your dumb ass was arrested for running Bad Newz Kennels, a dogfighting ring in Virginia which was most likely funded by that 6 Year $100 million NFL salary of yours. Ever so slowly did the horrid details of what you and your ghetto trash friends pulled while in business come to light. Here are a few details for those who might somehow be clueless:

You and your buddies hung three dogs in April 2007, after they under performed in a “rolling session”, which determines the dogs’ readiness to fight.
You, according to the U.S. Department Of Agriculture, placed family pet dogs into your ring with trained pitbulls, who obviously “caused major injuries” to them.
You electrocuted injured dogs who lost their fights
There were times were neither you or you’re piece of shit buddies wouldn’t feed your dogs in order to make them “more hungry for the other dog”.
Aside from hanging whichever dogs lost their fights, you also would drown, strangle, shoot, or even SLAM THEM REPEATEDLY UNTIL THEY DIED.

That’s all I’ll mention, as listing all that made me want to break my new laptop, since I can’t be there to break your skull. So it astonishes me that, after your absolutely bullshit apology, you were even brought back to the NFL after you did what you did. I can’t believe any team would be so willing to take you on. In fact, it’s one of the reasons why I can never truly respect the Philadelphia Eagles ever again. Oh sure, they DESTROYED the New England Patriots two Superbowls ago (by which point of course you were long gone, thankfully); but you see Shit Stain, I’m a man of principles. And as far as I’m concerned, any team that was willing to take you on regardless of your abilities, has zero standards in my book.

So when I found out a few weeks ago the you of all people were appointed to be the Honorary Team Captain in this coming year’s Pro Bowl, I had to laugh. I laughed even harder when I read Roger Goodell’s bullshit defense of you. Because let’s face it Shit Stain, and I know I’m not the only one who believes this to be fact: you’re not sorry, nor were you ever sorry for what you did. Like most jackass politicians who say they’re sorry for cheating on their wives because once they’re in office those said wives won’t fuck them anymore, you’re only sorry because, thanks to your moron cousin’s drug bust, you were caught. And ruined. But hey, if pretending to actually give a shit when you involve yourself with animal rights causes in good for business, then I guess Goodell will happily bite, even when deep down he’s knows involving your dumb ass in anything is just wrong. And if you ever read this Roger, you’re a spineless, dickless little cunt, willing to give up ANY integrity you might’ve had, and all for the sake of ratings.

So while most of us don’t want to even hear your name anymore, let alone watch you on TV in a month (although I know I WON’T be watching), I know what I’d like to see. Do you want to be in our good graces for real, Shit Stain? Why don’t you allow us, the fans, the opportunity to electrocute you, whip you, rip your lips off, slam your ass down to the ground multiple times until your bones break, and shoot you when it’s all over – you know, like you and your shithead friends did years ago – live on NBC? That to me, would bring in some incredible, record breaking ratings. That dumb fuck Goodell would jizz all over himself once the numbers came in! But that’ll sadly never happen, because you’re a gutless, dickless fucking coward.

I’m surprised your wife will even fuck you with that microscopic dick of yours. I refuse to believe you can get hard enough, to penetrate her, to get even the smallest amount of sperm into her so you could even have kids. So, if I were you, I’d get a DNA test done on your kids because I have a feeling they might be anyone else’s but yours. Did you understand that? Was that broken down for you in English that you could understand, you Virginia trash cocksucker? All of us with a brain hate you and want you to die in a manner that outdoes even the ways you torture those dogs.

So I hope I clarified for you, you worthless fuck, what it’d take for you to get any kind of real respect ever again. And by the way, if you were to agree to do any thing like that I’d actually donate money to any animal rights charity of your choice. And I might have to chip in for your funeral too! Because most of us would be excited to do nothing more than to take a baseball bat and cave your skull in to the point that your brains splattered farther than a fucking grenade blowing up in the middle of a jello factory. So fuck you, fuck your family, fuck anyone that had anything to do with you, and fuck anybody that looks like you!

My Sources:

https://www.espn.com/nfl/news/story?id=3718304

https://www.foxnews.com/story/gruesome-details-in-indictment-naming-nfl-quarterback-michael-vick-in-dogfighting-case

https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/12/us/michael-vick-pro-bowl-roger-goodell-spt-trnd/index.html

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Municipal Waste – Slime And Punishment

Posted on August 3, 2017December 26, 2017 by Mike

I really wasn’t sure if Municipal Waste were ever going to pull it off; but what they released just over month ago, Slime And Punishment, is truly the album we’ve been waiting for. It’s been five years since they released their Nuclear Blast Records debut, The Fatal Feast, a bit of a musical departure from the usual Thrash/Party Metal they’re legendary for at this point, to more of a Crossover type sound. I wasn’t bad but neither that or the album before it, 2009’s Massive Aggressive, could EVER amount to their 2007 masterpiece, The Art Of Partying. Hell, upon listen to Massive again while getting ready for this review I remembered why I stopped listening to it after three spins tops (maybe even just one!) – they were trying to hard to top The Art Of Partying. You could barely hear the drums, and it felt like Tony Foresta struggled horribly with keeping up with the tempos. Same unfortunately goes with Ryan Waste. He couldn’t speed pick fast enough to keep up with the rhythm section for shit.

So what a huge shock it was when they dropped their first single of the new album, “Amateur Sketch”, back in April. It was faster than a lot of The Fatal Feast. But not only that, but the intensity was back and everything, guitars especially, was so much louder and so much sharper. When mixing an album it’s so important that everything can be heard no matter what. But one track doesn’t mean shit after a five year absence. So I waited then I heard the title track, released a month later. I wasn’t fast but it hit just as hard. It was more old school Metal than Thrash but it was quick, catchy and did the trick. I was sold and bought the record a week after it was released.

“Breath Grease” kicks this one off with a real BANG! No slow, prodding intros, no instrumentals, just straight into a fast tempo song, which leads into “Enjoy The Night”, which sees the pace kicked up even faster…as if to say “good luck banging your head to this without snapping it!”. Upon hearing most of this album two things come to mind: the addition of Nick Poulos as a second guitarist was the smartest decision the band made last year, and the band as a whole clearly realized that it’s better to let the music come naturally, as opposed to forcing themselves to play a specific style. The results are that of a band that sounds absolutely refreshed; just all of the things they’re good at and nothing they can’t do.

The one thing I’m really impressed with on Slime And Punishment is the incredibly high pitch in Tony Foresta’s vocal approach. If you’ve paid attention to him outside of Waste then you know that this is the exact approach he’d been using with his other band, Iron Reagan. But for this collection of songs he without a doubt NEEDED to go this high. Especially on tracks likes the balls to the wall “Bourbon Discipline” and “Parole Violators” (featuring Vinnie Stigma of Agnostic Front), where he screams out “fuck you man!”, it’s as if he’s legitimately living out the audio party as it’s happening!

As mentioned earlier, hiring a second guitarist had to literally be THE smartest decision the band made recently. Sure, even with one guitarist you can track as many guitars on a recording as you can. But with two guitarists comes an extra set of ideas. It’s readily apparent on “Poison The Preacher”, one of the way more serious tracks here, where some of the riffs just don’t sound like they were just written by Ryan. There’s so much more of an old school Hetfield-like crunch to them (I’m talking …And Justice For All era Hetfield, when he still had balls along with two years worth of emotional rage). Extra props for that chorus hook – one of THE heaviest moments on the entire record!

Another big surprise here is the instrumental track, “Under The Waste Command”. Oh yeah, it starts off like classic Waste, breaks into a very Maiden-like harmony, then breaks into a solo section with a rhythm that sounds like something right out of…a Megadeth album?? With a solo that sounds like it was played by Mustaine himself?? As of this writing I’m still not sure of whether or not Nick or Ryan played it. But one of those two clearly did their homework. It kind of reminded me of “Dialectic Chaos”, probably one of the ONLY tracks I liked on Endgame. Fuck, even some of the riffs on the album closer, “Think Fast” sounded like latter day Megadeth at a certain point.

Slime And Punishment, to me, is everything we all love about Municipal Waste with a few great add-ons. The album just shits frantic riffs played in a way only Ryan Waste can play them – but now with more of a crunch. There are plenty of songs about humor, drinking, tons of debauchery, but now with even more energy than ever before! The songs are all under three minutes and that’s actually fucking perfect. Songs that sound like this would totally risk becoming stale if it went over that mark for sure. Then again I’m personally a little biased for shorter songs more and more these days. I blame it on my growing taste for Grindcore and Powerviolence bands. But more so than that, the album can also be seen as a glimpse into the future for Municipal Waste. If they stick to what they did here their next few records can proof without a shadow of a doubt that they still have yet to reach their full potential after all. So was Slime And Punishment worth the five year wait? You fuckin’ bet it was!

Key tracks: Breathe Grease, Enjoy The Night, Shrednecks, Parole Violators, Poison The Preacher, Under The Waste Command, Think Fast

https://open.spotify.com/embed/album/4OjYHchQyvgOF2zAeGjyFh

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Looking For Underground Bands to Review!

Posted on June 12, 2016June 12, 2016 by Mike

I want to start reviewing EPs, albums and demos from new and upcoming metal bands for my blog. I’ve reviewed CDs in the past for my college radio station and have even conducted interviews for my old show including L.A. band Cerberus (I’m mentioned in the thank you credits of their 2007 release Dispute The Truth, great album!)and ex-Venom guitarist Mykus; I want to start doing that again and just maybe help out some real good bands. Are you out there?

If you are reading this and know of any good underground bands worth listening to or are in a band and want me to check you guys out hit me up! I’m looking for anyone playing Death Metal(especially the really brutal shit!), Black Metal (nothing symphonic or with any keyboards please!), Thrash, Sludge, Grindcore or anything with a crust influence. Bottom line: I want it Extreme.

I’ll also need whatever links you can give me so I can use them to promote the bands, should I choose to review them.

Hope to hear from you!

“Is That A Chick’s Ass????”

Posted on November 1, 2015June 11, 2016 by Mike

You see the guitar in the main picture? Yeah? Now look at the finish closely. All you see is a pink guitar? Look again…closer. See it now? Now, if you’re a guy under twenty you just jizzed yourself. Twice. If you’re over twenty you can’t stop laughing, but you still have control over yourself. You women though….oh, you….the mixed reactions you broads have given this guitar over the years…some of you are obviously offended…yet…some of you actually like it!! Really??? Um…ok!

I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on this thing back in the early spring of 2004, probably the end of March. My old music store, where I was no longer taking lessons at this point, was right next door to my shit job where I was working at the time so I took a visit until I had to go clock in. I looked to my right and immediately saw this…guitar…hanging on the wall. It was a B.C. Rich Bich, the one shape I’ve always wanted ever since I saw old clips of Dave Mustaine using it with Metallica on Megadeth’s VH1 Behind The Music episode three years earlier. But this one was…different…and not just because it was part of B.C. Rich’s Body Art Series either. The pervert in me immediately saw what a lot of people usually need a few looks to see. Holy shit that’s a chick’s ass in a thong! A chick’s ass is the finish of a guitar! What does this say on the tag? “Bich’s Back”? Yeah, I’ll say! Only $300? Hmmmm.

I was told by the store owner’s piece of shit daughter, who I won’t name because she doesn’t deserve the recognition, that there were two other guitars like that but they sold quickly as should’ve been expected. She then said that she arranged for B.C. Rich to recall the last one? Why? “Because I don’t want kids to come in here and see it.” I wish I knew what the big deal is, as far as I know she’s only music store employee I ever knew that would say something that stupid. It’s been more than eleven years since I heard that remark and I still can’t believe I heard it! So fuckin’ what if a kid sees it?? After much debating I asked this dumb bitch when B.C. Rich were supposed to come. “Friday”, she told me. “Yeah? Well call them and tell them to forget it. I’ll be back here when I get paid to put money down on it.”, was my immediate response. I had to get this thing.

The very next Friday I went back there right after I got out of work and used part of my tax return to pay the rest off and this baby was mine! As the store owner’s cunt of a daughter was counting my money she quipped in a pretty serious tone “I think you’re a pervert for buying this!”. Oh I have stories on this twat that could last a whole day’s worth of conversation; but then you’d have to knock me out to shut me up. But who gave a shit? They had $300 of my money since I was no longer taking lessons with them at this point anyway AND I had a guitar that practically screamed sleazy, filthy no condom fucking…with the risk of a few STDs. Twenty four frets for hitting those high notes to make this bich scream, a curvaceous body, that finish! The store’s owner offered to drive me to the mall since I wanted to grab some food before I went home since I didn’t have a car yet; while in his van I asked him if he thought I was a perv like his jackass daughter said I was for buying the guitar. “I think it’s the most macho thing you can buy!”, he quickly responded.

My time in the mall? Oh that was just fantastic! I was given an acoustic guitar case to carry the Bich in because of it’s abnormal shape and when I arrived at the food court to eat I ran into someone and I sadly don’t remember who the guy was. I showed him the guitar and he couldn’t believe the finish on this. At that very moment I was approached by this guy I’ve seen on and off at bus stops in his Fun Station USA work shirt. He had long hair in a pony tail with an under shave and he wanted to let me know that and he and his girlfriend both saw my guitar from across the way and he wanted to tell me he thought it was awesome. That was cool and he seemed like a nice guy. The problem? His girlfriend, who was giving me the death stare right behind him, was this lunatic who I was crazy enough to be friends with not even two years earlier and to say the least I was surprised she was still alive. I actually spotted her crazy ass a month earlier at a show and when I told my dad the next day even his response was “She’s still alive??”. So as much as her boyfriend – and future baby daddy – was cool, I could not wait to brush him off as quickly as I could!

It’s amazing, the kinds of people you can attract just by carrying a guitar. While I was on my way home I was waiting to transfer to my second bus when some homeboy asked to see my guitar. “Yo dat shit is dope!”, he yelled out with a big laugh. Then came this weird looking lady who clearly had to be in her late forties. She saw that I had a B.C. Rich and decided to tell me this story that I still don’t know if I want to believe, in which she saw Metallica with Mustaine on lead guitar at a show. According to her Dave was playing his first B.C. Rich guitar. He hated it so much that at the end of the show he smashed it and one of the wooden shards hit this lady’s neck, cutting it open. She then told me she would force it to stay open for weeks because she wanted to keep the memories. Ok….

The next day I finally plugged it in and I was kind of surprised to hear how weak the pickups actually were. I should’ve known, being that the guitar was kind of a novelty. The solution? Replacing them with EMG 85 and 81 pickups – problem definitely solved! Goddamn this thing was loud after that. I was playing it – and bragged about it – with a sense of pride for years. It just screamed “METAL!!” as far as I was concerned. I used it for years, I mean my next three bands. I saw it as an attention grabber and my ex-guitarist from my first metal band joked that the guitar is the one thing I’d be remembered for. Months before my second band’s debut gig in 2007 I decided the guitar needed a little extra kink if you will, so I went to Rudy’s on 48th St in Manhattan and got myself a Levy’s Leather Strap with chains going right down the middle.

Of course, not everybody liked the guitar. Typical scenario: I’d bring the guitar somewhere, where is irrelevant. I’ll take my guitar out and some woman will notice. “That’s an interesting guitar, bring it over here.” I bring it over. “It’s so interesting that you’d have a pink guitar. Wait…is that…oh…”. Just like that she’s grossed out. In fact the last time I had the guitar set up for it’s final shows in 2013, the female owner of the store I went to, Rustic Music Center, took one look and declared “that’s the funniest and grossest guitar I’ve ever seen” before calling the guys in the place to take a look at the finish. I auditioned for the thrash band Sun Descends in 2005 and when I took the guitar out the lead singer, ex-Exumer vocalist Mem Von Stein, immediately said to me with weariness in his eyes “You have another guitar…right?”

But as I said earlier, some women thought it was amazing, including my brother’s ex-girlfriend as well as girls who worked at my college radio station. Speaking of my brother, one day a friend of his that I used to go to school with gave me a ride to the bus, I think. I had my guitar with me and when my brother told me to show the guitar his wannabe rapper buddy even he yelled out “What??? That’s AWESOME!!” Yeah, the guitar even transcends musical boundaries. At my first ever metal show some dope told me he wanted to have sex with my guitar. My bodybuilder doppelganger and friend Jon has even considered buying one of his own all because of mine!

Since then I’ve been retired from band life. So where’s the guitar been ever since I’ve moved to New Jersey? In the closet because my girlfriend doesn’t want to see it. Oh sure, I’ll take out from time to time. I think I’d like to give it another setup. I do know that if I ever got back into it and began work on the offensive metal project of my dreams there’s no better than my Bich’s Back to get the job done!

Here’s the Bich today:

Confessions of an Angry Metalhead

Tag: 2007