Dear Shit Stain

Dear Shit Stain,

Let’s be clear, I’ll only be referring to you as Shit Stain for the entirety of this open letter
that maybe you’ll read, maybe you won’t.  Because that’s what you are: a massive shit stain on life.  And speaking of life, I’m honestly STILL trying to wrap my head around the fact that you’re still alive twelve years after the whole world discovered that you’re nothing more than a piece of shit, and that’s all you’ll EVER be.   Why hasn’t anyone tried to do to you what you did to those fucking dogs since then??

“I guess $100 million isn’t enough money, eh?”  Those are the words my then lead singer muttered in my car while on the way to band practice just one night after the news broke that your dumb ass was arrested for running Bad Newz Kennels, a dogfighting ring in Virginia which was most likely funded by that 6 Year $100 million NFL salary of yours.  Ever so slowly did the horrid details of what you and your ghetto trash friends pulled while in business come to light.  Here are a few details for those who might somehow be clueless:

  • You and your buddies hung three dogs in April 2007, after they under performed in a “rolling session”, which determines the dogs’ readiness to fight.
  • You, according to the U.S. Department Of Agriculture, placed family pet dogs into your ring with trained pitbulls, who obviously “caused major injuries” to them.
  • You electrocuted injured dogs who lost their fights
  • There were times were neither you or you’re piece of shit buddies wouldn’t feed your dogs in order to make them “more hungry for the other dog”.
  • Aside from hanging whichever dogs lost their fights, you also would drown, strangle, shoot, or even SLAM THEM REPEATEDLY UNTIL THEY DIED.

That’s all I’ll mention, as listing all that made me want to break my new laptop, since I can’t be there to break your skull.  So it astonishes me that, after your absolutely bullshit apology, you were even brought back to the NFL after you did what you did.  I can’t believe any team would be so willing to take you on.  In fact, it’s one of the reasons why I can never truly respect the Philadelphia Eagles ever again.  Oh sure, they DESTROYED the New England Patriots two Superbowls ago (by which point of course you were long gone, thankfully); but you see Shit Stain, I’m a man of principles.  And as far as I’m concerned, any team that was willing to take you on regardless of your abilities, has zero standards in my book.

So when I found out a few weeks ago the you of all people were appointed to be the Honorary Team Captain in this coming year’s Pro Bowl, I had to laugh.  I laughed even harder when I read Roger Goodell’s bullshit defense of you.  Because let’s face it Shit Stain, and I know I’m not the only one who believes this to be fact: you’re not sorry, nor were you ever sorry for what you did.  Like most jackass politicians who say they’re sorry for cheating on their wives because once they’re in office those said wives won’t fuck them anymore, you’re only sorry because, thanks to your moron cousin’s drug bust, you were caught.  And ruined.  But hey, if pretending to actually give a shit when you involve yourself with animal rights causes in good for business, then I guess Goodell will happily bite, even when deep down he’s knows involving your dumb ass in anything is just wrong.  And if you ever read this Roger, you’re a spineless, dickless little cunt, willing to give up ANY integrity you might’ve had, and all for the sake of ratings.

So while most of us don’t want to even hear your name anymore, let alone watch you on TV in a month (although I know I WON’T be watching), I know what I’d like to see.  Do you want to be in our good graces for real, Shit Stain?  Why don’t you allow us, the fans, the opportunity to electrocute you, whip you, rip your lips off, slam your ass down to the ground multiple times until your bones break, and shoot you when it’s all over – you know, like you and your shithead friends did years ago – live on NBC?  That to me, would bring in some incredible, record breaking ratings.  That dumb fuck Goodell would jizz all over himself once the numbers came in!  But that’ll sadly never happen, because you’re a gutless, dickless fucking coward.

I’m surprised your wife will even fuck you with that microscopic dick of yours.  I refuse to believe you can get hard enough, to penetrate her, to get even the smallest amount of sperm into her so you could even have kids.  So, if I were you, I’d get a DNA test done on your kids because I have a feeling they might be anyone else’s but yours.  Did you understand that?  Was that broken down for you in English that you could understand, you Virginia trash cocksucker?  All of us with a brain hate you and want you to die in a manner that outdoes even the ways you torture those dogs.

So I hope I clarified for you, you worthless fuck, what it’d take for you to get any kind of real respect ever again.  And by the way, if you were to agree to do any thing like that I’d actually donate money to any animal rights charity of your choice.  And I might have to chip in for your funeral too!  Because most of us would be excited to do nothing more than to take a baseball bat and cave your skull in to the point that your brains splattered farther than a fucking grenade blowing up in the middle of a jello factory.  So fuck you, fuck your family, fuck anyone that had anything to do with you, and fuck anybody that looks like you!

My Sources:

https://www.espn.com/nfl/news/story?id=3718304

https://www.foxnews.com/story/gruesome-details-in-indictment-naming-nfl-quarterback-michael-vick-in-dogfighting-case

https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/12/us/michael-vick-pro-bowl-roger-goodell-spt-trnd/index.html

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