Extreme Metal Gym Playlist

Gym playlists.  Man, some people out there really seem to not have the balls to delve into nastier shit than they’re accustomed to in order to really raise those adrenaline levels.  I guess they don’t really want to train with fury after all.  Pussies.  This goes back to my first true post on here, titled: “…if I had my own gym”.  I bitched that the so-called metalheads in my gym cried like little girls upon hearing my heavy-as-fuck Spotify playlist, which contained several tracks by Pantera (the super heavy shit from the mid-90’s), Strapping Young Lad, Nevermore and Meshuggah.  The remarks came flying: “What is this crap?”  “Yeah I know I’m a Stripping Young Lad but this sucks!”, “Do you have any Metallica??”

Sure, there are gyms out there that understand that Disturbed is NOT the definition of music that makes you want to fight someone of even deadlift the house.  But they’re few and far between.  Also, I’ve come across plenty of playlists on Bodybuilding.com and, while some have come close, I came across a lot of shit.  When I think of real weightlifting music Bring Me The Horizon and Miss May I are clearly, badass bands to train to.  Right?  Right?  Excuse me while I puke out my flank steak dinner and my creatine powder.

So here are my ten picks, in no particular order, for heavy-as-fuck, balls to the wall, rage fueling, gym music.

  1. Nails – You Will Never Be One Of Us, 2016ywnboou

I’m starting with this one because I need to get something off my chest real quick: I’m so fucking mad at these guys!  Just as this album is getting more critical acclaim and attention than any other album sounding remotely like this the band, without warning, goes on hiatus?!?!  What the fuck is this shit??  And why now???  Did Todd Jones decide he couldn’t handle the sudden popularity??  Did it go against his hardcore ethos??  Good thing I never went to This Is Hardcore in the beginning of the month because I would’ve been really pissed off!

Now that that’s out of the way…this is most likely my album of the year.  In just over twenty-one minutes, this album is literally all killer no filler…at all.  This is just straight up RAGE from start to finish.  The production is rough, the vocals are ridden with the type of slobbering anger that says Todd Jones wants to hurt you so bad.  This is true Meathead music.  It’s totally amped up my workouts since it came out two months ago and will most likely continue to do so.

Key Tracks: You Will Never Be One Of Us, Savage Intolerance, Parasite, They Come Crawling Back

2. Pantera – The Great Southern Trendkill, 1996 tgstk

Yeah…this one…not Cowboys, not Vulgar…this one.  Why?  Listen to the opening seconds of the title track alone.  That’s why.  The Great Southern Trendkill is literally the most violent and intense Pantera release in their entire recording career.  It just wreaks of every negative emotion you DIDN’T expect from Pantera.  I guess it kind of, sort of, also helps that Phil Anselmo was secretly doing heroin during this time.  That shit always brings down the mood!  Featuring the late Seth Putnam of Anal Cunt on backing screams on certain tracks.

Key Tracks: The Great Southern Trendkill, War Nerve, Suicide Note Pt.2, Sandblasted Skin

3. Strapping Young Lad – Alien, 2005

alien

Ever wanted to hear what a bipolar person sounds like when they stop taking their meds just to make their most intense album ever?  Here’s your chance!  But it ain’t pretty.  Which is why I love it!  Devin Townsend knew that Strapping’s 2003 comeback record was clearly stale, minus two tracks.  So what did he do?  He risked his mental health and let the crazies out to play on more time.  I cannot listen to this record when I am driving because there were many times when this record came out that I went into massive road rage, probably came close to INTENTIONALLY running over people and driving into a wall.

Key tracks: Skeksis, Shitstorm, Love?, We Ride

4. Nevermore – This Godless Endeavor, 2005

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Without question the heaviest album Nevermore ever did.  I don’t know if it was because of the permanent addition of Steve Smyth as a second guitarist, but whatever it was, it worked.  Usually known for a more diverse musical formula on previous albums, much of that is non-existent here.  Like…compared to the albums before it or after…This Godless Endeavor is musically pitch black.  I can totally see myself bench pressing to Jeff Loomis and Steve Smyth’s dueling leads on “Psalm Of Lydia”.

Key Tracks: Born, My Acid Words, Bittersweet Feast, Psalm Of Lydia

5 and 6.  Crowbar – Crowbar, 1993/Sonic Excess In It’s Purest Form, 2001

Crowbar

I decided I had to put in two albums here.  Crowbar are the ultimate go-to band for intense weight training.  It’s unforgivingly brutal, fast enough, slow enough, sludgy enough and add Kirk Windstein’s increasing raspy vocals on being down and out and all I want to do is eat lots of food and deadlift.

Speaking of food, on their Phil Anselmo-produced, self titled album is a song called “Existence Is Punishment”.  If you ever watched Beavis and Butthead in the 90’s you probably saw them making fun of that song’s video, leaving Beavis to basically say that the band makes you want to eat and get fat.  Oh..and that they’re always taking a dump.  Also featured here the most badass cover of Led Zeppelin’s “No Quarter” that you’ll ever here.

Key Tracks: “High Rate Extinction”, “Existence is Punishment”, “All I Had (I Gave)”, “No Quarter” (Led Zeppelin)

seiipf

Probably the fattest, sludgiest and – believe it or not – most groundbreaking album or their career.  Featuring future Goatwhore guitarist Sammy Duet, Sonic Excess In It’s Purest Form truly lived up to it’s name.  But not just because it’s heavy, or you might as well consider every heavy album to be groundbreaking.  But because the songwriting here is so thought out.  Everything was perfectly arranged.  “The Lasting Dose”, the album’s most popular track – and the one where the moshpits always reach new heights – probably wouldn’t sound as amazing it does if it wasn’t well written.  This one always has me banging my head while training – I could give two shits if anyone’s looking at me.

Key Tracks: The Lasting Does, To Build A Mountain, Failure To Delay Gratification, Empty Room

7. Behemoth – The Satanist, 2014

behemoth-the-satanist-artwork

First off: Nergal is GOD.  I knew I loved Behemoth they day I heard their 2004 album, Demigod, in my college radio station, where I found myself playing it to death for a while.  It was the perfect mix of death metal with black metal themed lyrics, a new style the band were experimenting with.

But here, literally a decade later, the band is beginning to change.  Oh yeah, the brutality of their previous albums is still here, but the music itself feels fresh, much looser, much more off the cuff.  I remember hearing Nergal screaming with passion on the track “Messe Noire:: “I believe in SATAN!!!!”, me yelling to my car stereo with excitement “Oh yes you do!!!”.

Key Tracks: Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel, Messe Noire, Amen, O Father, O Satan, O Sun

8. Meshuggah – obZen, 2008

obZen

This was band’s second album using eight string guitars, but after 2005’s weird, and heavily drum sampled Catch 33, the heaviest band to ever come out of Sweden were back with fury.  Back when everyone and their mother was still on Myspace, I heard “Bleed” on the band’s music player…and nearly fell off my chair.  The slow tempo, mixed with Tomas Haake’s double bass rolls, those bowel inducing, low tuned eight strings locked in just perfectly, Jens Kidman’s newly developed screaming…it was as if the band was reborn!  Meshuggah were already one of my top five gym bands but obZen is a modern day Extreme Metal masterpiece.

Key Tracks: Combustion, Electric Red, Bleed, Dancers To A Discordant System

9. Morbid Angel – Domination, 1995

domination

The one album that causes the most drama between fans.  You either love Domination or the thought of it makes your stomach turn, and that even goes for the members of the band.  Between the production style and the change in David Vincent’s lyrical themes and vocal approach, this is either the band’s most brutal album or the biggest pile of shit they ever recorded.  Me?  I fucking love it!  It’s virtually unrelenting, minus “Hatework”, which I could do without.  I personally think the clarity in production makes Trey and Erik’s guitars that much more brutal.

Key Tracks: Dominate, Where The Slime Lives, Eyes To See Ears To Hear, Dawn Of The Angry

10. Black Label Society – Live Alcohol Fueled Brutality + 5, 2001

bls live

Right off the bat, fuck the “plus 5” on the second disc, it doesn’t matter.  I almost didn’t use this album but first off, Zakk Wylde is GOD.  Second, this live album is endlessly loud, violent, and brutal.  This was recorded on that infamous 2ooo tour were Zakk’s famous “grail” Les Paul was stolen, not to be seen again for a good three years.  This is another album I’ll bang my head to and sing out loud in the gym regardless of who’s watching me.  Fuck them, they’re all listening to the shitty dance music playing through the speakers or some watered down “rock” through their earbuds.

Key Tracks: Low Down, Lost My Better Half, Bored To Tears, No More Tears (Ozzy Cover)

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My Pilgrimage To Diamond Gym, July 29th, 2016

Yeah…I wrote Pilgrimage.  Why?  Because if you are a serious lifter of any kind, powerlifter, bodybuilder, whatever, and you happen to be anywhere in New Jersey, then it is your duty as the serious lifter you claim to be to go to Diamond Gym at least once.  For forty years now Diamond Gym has been one of THE most badass, hardcore gyms in the entire east coast.  When ex-bodybuilder John Kemper opened up the place it became the original “East Coast Mecca” long before Bev Francis opened up her first Gold’s Gym franchise.

I remember the first time I even heard of the place – and Adam from Black Metal Fitness, if you’re reading this, this is for you buddy! – it was on YouTube, where I discovered an old WWF interview with Mean Gene in this really badass looking dungeon gym, speaking with the owner’s wife, Shirley Kemper, about the types of people the gym attracted.  She then mentioned the British Bulldogs and next thing you knew there was the Dynamite Kid spotting Davey Boy Smith as he was benching four plates without a struggle.  Then Dynamite did the same…again, without a struggle.  Here’s the video, took me a while to find it:

It got me curious, real curious.  At the time I considered myself a gym historian of sorts, trying to learn all I could about the gyms of the past, such as R & J Health Studio in Brooklyn, NY, the breeding ground for Lou Ferrigno, and where my dad trained for fifteen years.  I also wanted to know if these gyms were still around and if so would the environment still be the same?  Well, when I found out Diamond Gym was still around I wanted to know more.  John Kemper retired and sold the gym in 2007, he sadly passed in 2012 at just 67 years old.  But apparently the gym’s current owner, Dwayne McDaniel had no problem keeping the gym’s hardcore vibe.  In fact, when you look at the place in videos it looks like nothing was touched.

So I finally made my way over there yesterday.  First off, god damn Maplewood, NJ is ghetto as fuck!  Secondly, it doesn’t even matter because once I entered the gym – which is right next to a gated community – it was all worth it.  Oh sure, a few walls might’ve had a fresh paintjob recently, and there are a hell of a lot more autographed  pictures on the walls of the bodybuilders that came from here.  But literally nothing else has changed, the equipment is exactly what I saw in that British Bulldogs promo from nineteen eighty-fucking-six, the barbell plates are so old that they probably haven’t even been in production in over thirty years, and the floors in the squat rack and leg press area are uneven.

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See this?  It’s a Nautilus Multi Machine and there’s only one other gym I know that still has it because I used to train in that gym.  If you want to know more about this once fascinating “contraption” go on YouTube and just type in “Mike Mentzer Boyer Coe”.  Trust me here.

I’ll admit I was a little temped to leave if the idiot I heard through the speaker didn’t stop repeating “Ima keep it HOOD!” over and over again, but all in all the place was perfect!  Here’s my workout:

The shitty rap music in the place was so fucking loud that if I didn’t put a song over it I know I would’ve gotten at least five copyright claims because of the stupid algorithms on YouTube – I refuse to let DMX make money off my video.  Also, forget about conditioning.  I’m convinced that cardio isn’t in Diamond Gym’s vocabulary because I saw not one treadmill.  Now that is badass.  THAT is hardcore.

The gym just wreaks of all things tough as nails and I definitely will be back again.  If it wasn’t so far from me I’d leave my gym and sign up there yesterday.  Someone on yelp referred to it as “alpha and the omega” and he definitely hit the nail on the head there.  So to end this I’ll reiterate what said at the start of this.  If you call yourself a serious lifter and you live in Jersey, you need to go to Diamond Gym.

There are more pictures on my facebook page.  Just click here to get to them:

https://www.facebook.com/Confessions-Of-An-Angry-Metalhead-1237695776242081/

New Videos And More News

So I’ve been pretty busy with recording songs and videos in the last week or so.  I’ve really been inspired in the music department, having uploaded two new songs in the last few days.  Here’s the one I just uploaded today:

Upon listening to it with the drums I mapped out as well as the distorted bass I put there, I find it to be a cross between early Bathory, speedwise, and a more modern Grindcore song around the breakdown section.  I just know my Ibanez Destroyer’s been taking a beating lately with all the things I’m doing.  Speaking of guitars I’ll most likely start recording covers sometime next week.

On the powerlifting front I just began the second cycle of my new 5/3/1 conditioning template.  Only now I’m training four times a week instead of three since I’m currently off from work for the summer – giving me plenty of time to get out all the extra anger my jackass students gave me this year!  I’m serious when I say they need to bring back corporal punishment because today’s kids are way too fucking grown for their own good.  Fuck the kids.  Anyway, here’s my latest Deadlift video.  The whole workout can be found in the description box of the video:

I figured out a great way to use my phone to film myself Deadlift and Overhead Pressing without using anyone’s help.  I just need to find a way to do it for Benching and Squatting.  Also, I’m not too far away from Diamond Gym in Maplewood, NJ, and I’d like to also make my way over there next week to get a workout in.  That place is just so fucking hardcore that I HAVE to go there.

More News

A quick reminder that I’ll be at Anaka’s show at the Black Bear Bar in Brooklyn this Saturday.  I’ll be making a video or two, as well as writing about it here so keep your eyes posted.  Also, I was approached by Helix Nebula, a band from just outside of Madrid, Spain, about reviewing their new album and I agreed to do it so I should be doing that in the next week as well.  Helix Nebula recently played a show with Feel No Pain, another band from Madrid, who’s demo I just reviewed; so I’m assumed that’s how they found me.

I’m now on facebook, so be sure to click here and like the page for more updates.

https://www.facebook.com/Confessions-Of-An-Angry-Metalhead-1237695776242081/

 

New Training Videos!, New Nails!

New Training Videos!

I restarted training at the gym last Sunday and so far things are going far better than expected.  I’m still doing 5/3/1 but I’m more focused on conditioning this time so each time I train I’ll just do two exercises and then it’s off to the bike I go since the gym won’t get another prowler until management begins renovations near summer’s end.  Lame.

I did just release two videos I was able to make on last week’s Overhead Press day and today’s Squat day and you can check them out below:

 

Explanations of each workout can be found in their entirety in the description boxes of each video.

I’m already eyeing my next meet and it’ll most likely be RPS’s Autumn Apocolypse in November, same hotel in Newark as the Jersey Rumble back in May.  I’m just hoping that by that time I’ll at least have my Squat and Deadlift in the 300’s and 400’s, respectively.  In fact, my friend Steve, who works at my gym told me he’d take me to the other gym he trains in, East Coast-West Coast in Carlsadt, in July.  I heard about this gym and in fact someone I met at my first meet posted up a video of himself training there.  This gym just looks so fucking badass.  It’s like Skiba’s in Carteret but bigger.  Here, just look at the gallery pictures:

http://eastweststrength.com/facility/nggallery/page/1

Note that some pictures will be of their California location.

I also am in the middle of recording two new original tracks and re-recording the first one I uploaded since I can do better with it.  I should be done, hopefully by the end of this week.  Be sure to subscribe to my channel to get updates on them.

Oh!  And here’s some of the shit that motivated me during my first week back in the gym:

New Nails!

Speaking of my Spotify playlist, in which you’ll see two tracks from Nails…anybody here as psyched up for this new fucking album as I am??  I’m most likely going to do a review on it after a few hundred listens or whenever I’m ready to get it out of my car, or so long as it doesn’t cause me to get into an accident because it makes me drive too fast…whichever comes first.

And if you aren’t as ready as I am check out their video for “Savage Intolerance” here!

The FYE by my apartment better have this come Friday.  I’d like to go see them in Philly on August 5th, I’ll just make sure I’m in the back of the room so I don’t die.  I have a feeling it’ll be even more brutal than when I went to see Crowbar last year for sure.

One Last Thing

I made a small post about this last night but I’m looking for underground bands to review.  If you’re reading this and you know of any extreme bands (death, black, grindcore, sludge, crusty sounding) that you feel should get looked at let me know in either the comment section below or private message me.

 

RPS Jersey Rumble May 21st, 2016

So here we are, May 21st has come and gone and I still haven’t even unpacked my bag days later.  I should though.  Whatever.  It was a hell of time…I just don’t know if my girlfriend or my father will come to one of these again just because of how long this meet was!

We arrived at the Ramada Plaza Hotel around 10:30ish, a good half an hour ahead of schedule for weigh-ins.  Having weighed in at 181 that morning I made sure to eat a nice big breakfast of four scrambled eggs, flank steak, an English muffin and grape flavored juiced aminos so I could make my weight class, which was 198 and when I weighed myself again before leaving I was 184.  So I’m ok, right?  Well, I guess all the cardio I was doing up until a week before this must’ve clearly put my metabolism into overdrive because when I was weighed in by Gene Rychlak’s mother-in law I weighed in at 182.8, having apparently dropped nearly two pounds during the ride, putting her in a panic in the event that I placed and would have to get weighed again.  But I assured her I was going to eat more and she was relieved…not that it mattered much because I knew I wasn’t placing in anything.

After weighing in I went into the hotel ballroom were the first wave of the day, featuring the Women’s and Juniors Divisions was still running.  Damn…it felt partially like a rock concert, partially like a biker convention.  Loud 80’s metal was playing, a banner in the background with Ed Hunter on it, lights on the stage like an 80’s concert, tattoos everywhere, dudes with serious muscle, some women with serious muscle.  You know, I have an issue with some women that choose to juice just so they can get the muscle mass they couldn’t get otherwise just because they naturally don’t carry as much muscle as men.  There were a few chicks that looked awful pretty but when they began to speak their voices where pretty damn low.  Also, since testosterone is supposed to help with burning fat I saw one or two chicks that legit had no titties – it was all pecs like a guy!  Not that I haven’t seen this before but if I ever come out of musical retirement I’m going to write a song about chicks on juice and call it “No Titties”.

On the table in the back was a whole bunch of trophies that the winners are actually allowed to pick from, which I think is pretty cool.  I’m assuming that Gene Rychlak or his designer are sick metalheads or just really into Conan The Barbarian because look at some of these trophies!

9d2b3458b8133eab201455c881742652  IMG_20160521_113453014 IMG_20160521_113438252_HDR  IMG_20160521_113445536_HDR

Then I saw a dude who looked like Bam Bam Bigelow back from the dead but instead of having the skull covering tattoo he had a nice, thick chain around his neck, like something you’d get at a hardware store.

Bam Bam Bigelow

Just tell me that isn’t badass – I even went up to him and told him it was badass!  Turns out he works for Gene and is his Minister of Information, as well as the guy who spotted everyone during squats.

Things were a bit delayed and we didn’t really start on time, but needless to say I smoked all my squat attempts, building up to 260lbs which my girlfriend took pictures of but didn’t film.  I did, however, get one red light for my second attempt at 245, most likely because I didn’t sink enough.  Some people thought I did it perfectly but I know what I felt.

showtime 3                                   showtime 4

 

 

 

That 260 felt easy.  The biggest relief, more so than even that, was that I had absolutely no rotator cuff problems; that was a huge concern for me going into this.  Starting with my third Bench Press attempt of 160lbs, my girlfriend finally started filming.  She had some issues with her old phone so she didn’t get the first two attempts.  So starting with the last Bench attempt and all three deadlift attempts everything is on film.

All my attempts were real easy, easier than I thought – especially that 360lbs Deadlift.  Although I have to say this: there’s nothing worse than getting psyched up for a lift and then really shitty music comes on.  Republica’s “Ready To Go” came on during my first attempt and then The Scorpions came on during the 360 attempt.  Fuck The Scorpions!  Couldn’t I lift to “Mr. Tinkertain” like a few guys got to do?  Now THAT would’ve been badass!

I went to get to the merch table to get my complimentary free shirt for competing and one of the dudes who spotted during squats told me “You need to put more weight on there, you totally smoked it.”.  So will I do this again?  Most likely, just a matter of when.  I also don’t know if my girlfriend would go with me again or that my dad would come and see me again because I didn’t get out until nearly 11pm!

 

 

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My Results:

Squat – 235, 245, 260

Bench Press – 130, 145, 160

Deadlift – 305, 330, 360

Total – 780

Check out Revolution Powerlifting Syndicate at http://www.revolutionpowerlifting.com

Final Thoughts

So, as of this writing, Nick Menza’s death has been a declared a massive heart attack brought on by heart disease.  At 51 years old that makes his death the ultimate heavy metal tragedy of the year unless something far worse happens.  That’s too young and while, most people are crying because the Rust In Peace-era reunion is surely not happening now, I feel far worse for his two kids.

And speaking of which, so how about that nice little damage control statement that Dave Mustaine released followed Nick’s death.  They were always close right?  Things happened and that’s why they didn’t get back together last year, right?  Funny because there are multiple interviews were Mustaine admits that it didn’t happen simply because he didn’t want it to happen.  So this benefit show he now wants to put together to help out his kids?  Like I said…damage control.  It’s true, isn’t it…that only the good die young?

 

Final Pre-Meet Workout Notes/First Megadeth Album Uploaded

First Megadeth Album Uploaded

So last night I got a bit bored and looked at the music on my laptop and saw that I had the first three Megadeth albums – not that remixed shit either!  Although I do in fact have the remixed 2002 re-release of Killing Is My Business…And Business Is Good! along with the original.  So I decided to start uploading my Megadeth albums on my YouTube channel, starting with the original version of Killing.  Here’s the link:

Oh sure, Mustaine did a great job when this was remixed sixteen years later.  But this isn’t such a bad job considering they blew half their budget on speedballs and needed an extra four grand just to finish the record and STILL make it sound so BRUTAL!

Final Pre-Meet Workout Notes

I did my final squat workout last Thursday leading up to my Powerlifting debut next Saturday.  I pulled off 245lbs for a single, although if I wasn’t preparing for a meet I know could’ve hit more reps than that.

It was good but as I was starting my working sets leading up to that single I felt the bar press on my right rotator cuff so bad that it hurt for two more days afterward.  I need to work on my shoulder mobility this whole week because I’ll be squatting with a 65lb bar at this meet, which I’ve never done before, and I sure as fuck don’t feel like getting injured next weekend.

Aside from working on mobility I’m not doing any training this whole week.  It was a bit weird waking up today and NOT heading to the gym.  I’ll definitely plan to film my lifts on meet day as well as take as many pictures as I can.  I’ll be at the Revolution Powerlifting Syndicate Jersey Rumble on Saturday, May 21st 2016 at the Ramada Inn in Newark, NJ.  I’m competing in the 198lb Amateur division and my wave starts at 2:30pm, although I’ll have to be there by 11am for weigh-ins and have the rules given to me at noon.

Random Thoughts

New Album Upload

Last week I uploaded two albums on to my YouTube account, Morbid Angel’s Covenant, and Mercyful Fate’s Don’t Break The Oath.  Just last night I added my all time favorite Iron Maiden album in it’s entirety, Piece Of Mind.  Here’s the link:

First time I ever heard “The Trooper” on WSOU in 2001 it kicked my ass so hard.  This is even MORE of what I needed in my search for ONLY the best shit because if I heard anymore shitty emo-punk or nu-metal depending on who I hung out with on that day I was going to throw myself against a barbed wire fence.  I’m pretty sure I was the ONLY one in my school that had REAL taste in music.  I don’t miss high school at all.  As for Piece Of Mind goes, this to me is the album that, once and for all, established the blueprint to the Maiden sound.  Yeah sure, they already had the epic songs before this but I feel like the great abundance of guitar harmonies on this album set the stage for nearly every band that came after them.  I always felt like The Number Of The Beast is so fucking overrated.  It’s really not that fantastic to me.

Powerlifting Progress

Today began my final week of training before my first meet on May 21st at the Ramada Inn in Newark, NJ.  On the heavy week of 5/3/1 I hit my final PR of 320lbs.  Since you’re only supposed to just hit the prescribed number of reps as you get closer to the meet I “just” hit one rep but I know I could’ve done more.  This shit was TOO easy!  But hey judge for yourself:

Too easy.  Thanks to having nothing but C4 in my system at the time of this set I got a bit carried away and cursed at and even screamed at the bar when I was done, making my girlfriend think I was pissed.  Hardly the case, but here’s some dialogue between me and her from after I finished:

Me: That was too easy!

Girlfriend: That screaming stuff is why you’d get kicked out of that other gym.

Me: Planet Fitness?

Girlfriend: Yep.

Me: Yeah?  Well fuck Planet Fitness!

But seriously though, fuck Planet Fitness.  Any gym that kicks a guy out of a gym for grunting while squatting 500lbs is NOT a real gym – and that’s a true story, by the way.  I’ll never train in Planet Fag.  I lift things up and put them down.

Here’s my entire routine for today:

Deadlift

125 x 5

155 x 5

185 x 5

255 x 5

285 x 3

320 x 1

Stationary Bike

10 minutes

50 calories burned

1.78 miles

Average HR: 115

The Ballad Of Ozzy and $haron

So I woke up this morning to the news Ozzy and Sharon are splitting, not because of drugs or alcohol.  That alone is fascinating just because he drunkenly tried to kill her back in 1989.  Too bad he didn’t get the job done!  This time it’s because she apparently went through his cellphone and discovered numerous texts and calls to celebrity hair stylist Michelle Pugh, a woman more than two decades younger than Ozz.

I can’t say I’m too shocked.  First off, if we all know anything about Ozzy we all should know he probably doesn’t even know how to operate his own phone just because he’s a dumb motherfucker.  So how could he know how to delete his own history?  Right?  It’s one thing to just look at the phone bill when it comes in but THIS was just too easy because it’s Ozzy and he’s stupid as shit.

But more important than that, could anyone blame the guy?  Look at pictures of $haron even in her youth and then look at Michelle Pugh.  Hell, I’ll help you:

Pugh

Look at that and tell me she’s not a cute woman.  I dare you to tell me that’s NOT a major upgrade from $haron in the looks department alone.  Hey, just maybe she’s even nicer than that witch.  Sure, $haron  may have saved Ozzy from drinking himself to oblivion after being booted out of Black Sabbath back in 1979, but it’s pretty much been documented for years that she’s a cunt.  Maybe Ozzy wanted a break from $haron’s overbearing attitude.  As of this writing he’s in a hotel in Beverly Hills.

But the truth is, in the end, they’ll get back together.  He’s still a puppy that needs his master and she needs a source of REAL income.  $haron herself recently admitted on The Talk that she caught him in bed with one of their kids’ nannies.  So why didn’t she ditch him then?  She said because she knew he was high as fuck at the time.  So there you have it.  She excused him them, she excused him when he nearly KILLED her and she’ll eventually excuse him for this, crawling back to each other in pure desperation, since neither of them know anything else at this point in their lives.  So…no need to make a big thing about this.