Lift With Hatred: The Workout – Part 2

In part 1 I discussed our training “philosophy” along with my warmup routine.  So here’s what you’ve all waited for!  I decided to provide not one, but TWO templates for you to choose from.  These are full body routines, because the body needs as much volume as possible, especially when you’re just starting.  Constant stimulation is also CRUCIAL for rapid growth.

The basis for both of these templates are made up of the Squat, Bench Press, Deadlift and Overhead Press.  All classic beginner routines are comprised of these moves because they’re compound lifts, meaning they work more than “just” one body part.  But make no mistake, I’m not here to explain the kinesiology of every lift.  You can go on plenty of sites for that shit.  Remember, make sure you warm up before doing ANYTHING else and, if you have a mini resistance band, take that with you.  So, with that being said, and because I wanted to make a Metal themed routine for building a strength foundation, here’s Template A and B of Lift With Hatred: The Sabbath Years.

Template A 

Back Extensions – 3 x 10 or 3 x 20 (with resistance band)

Squat – 4 x 4-6 or 1 x 20 depending on your goals (preceded by resistance band shoulder  warmup)

Bench Press – 4 x 4-6 (preceded by resistance band shoulder warmup and/or set of chin ups to failure)

Chinups – 4 x failure (you can also superset these with the Bench Press to save time)

Overhead Press – 4 x 4 – 6

Deadlift – 1 x 5

Template B 

This is an alternating A-B-A/B-A-B style routine.

Workout A

Back Extensions – 3×10 or 3×20

Squat – 3 x 15

Bench Press – 3 x 15

Deadlift – 3 x 15

Workout B

Back Extensions – 3 x 10 or 3 x 20

Dumbbell Lunge – 3 x 15

Overhead Press – 3 x 15

Bent Over Row – 3 x 15

Explanation

This is as basic and primitive as it gets, much like the first few Black Sabbath records (especially Master Of Reality!).  They’re equally as brutal as they are simple as time progresses.   Same shit with these exercises.  It’s going to be beyond GED simple at first.  But the workouts will become difficult as the intensity increases.  It’s just up to you to figure out if you can handle it after a while.

Sets And Reps

This shit varies depending on the template.  For Template A I wanted you to be able to get in more sets for the sake of more stimulation.  In most proven strength routines, more than three sets are usually prescribed.  More sets equals more volume, which makes for more stimulation throughout the body.  Just because some doctor prescribed three sets per exercise back in the 30’s doesn’t mean you have to just perform three sets.  Also, I suggested a set 20 for the Squat as an option for you younger kids reading this.  I took the idea from Stuart McRobert’s book Brawn.  Stuart speaks about the classic 20 Rep Squat routine which is beyond simple, yet beyond BRUTAL on your legs.  But your legs will be huge.  Trust me.

Template B offers a more size oriented approach, bringing in dumbbells for one exercise, which will absolutely force more muscle fibers to be used to stimulate more growth.  That’s also why the reps are increased here.  It’s for this reason that this template offers more of a variety.  In fact, the alternating days gives you a chance to use an extra day to recover from the power moves while focusing on more size oriented moves, and vice versa.  I wrote a modified version of this template for my first client and he was a believer in full body training after a few weeks.

Duration

Template A is a three month cycle that’s to be trained three times a week, like most strength routines.  Both of these routines call for a linear progression, meaning the weights will be increased every week.  So make sure to increase the poundage accordingly.  I’d say increase the lower body poundages by 10lbs for the Squat and 10 – 20lbs for the Deadlift.  Increase the upper body poundages by 5lbs or even 2.5lbs.

For Template B, the recommended poundage increases are the same.  But the difference here is this is just Phase One of what will be four phases.  Which each phase comes a decrease in the amount of reps per set and, by Phase Four, the sets will increase to order to bring up the volume.  If you like this let me know and I’ll write up the other three phases.

Training Tips

Back Extensions

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Look at the ass on him!

You might notice that I started every routine with this.  Many of you might ask “…but Angry Metalhead, why can’t I do this as an accessory move like everyone else??”  Simple, because we’re not training to be like everyone else you asshole!  Not only that, but because, as I learned from reading up on Reg Park, training the lower back while it’s fresh loosens and strengthens it.  Everyone forgets that training the lower back is as much of Core training as training your abs is.

And as I found out, a strong lower back makes for a much stronger Squat and Deadlift.  But hey what the fuck do I know, I just know I once was able to deadlift 380lbs without a belt for a reason.  After you get used to the exercise, you can add a mini resistance band to add tension.  After that you can also add weight.  Or, if you’re pressed for time you can simply just use the mini band and add ten extra reps per set.

One more thing.  Guys, make sure you adjust yourself before you perform this move.  Take it from me, there’s no feeling more annoying than that of crushing your own balls because you didn’t fix yourself up on the station.  Your woman or man or whatever needs you to have healthy nuts guys!

Hip Drive! 

Did you really thing that Squats and Deadlift just required strong legs?  Fuck no, it’s all about that Hip Drive, as Mark Rippetoe says.  All Hip Hinge moves, like the Squat , Deadlift, Back Extensions, etc., require the hips to start AND finish the move.  Strong hips make for big numbers.  Strong hips also carry over into other aspects of life too.  Guys, you want to be absolute fuck machine with your wife/girlfriend/baby mamma/one night stand?  Use those hips.  Ladies, wanna be a fuck machine and show your husband/boyfriend/baby daddy/one night stand that you can keep up with the thrusting?  Use your hips!

Grip Strength

I saved the best for last because I wanted to send a clear message to all of you reading this.  I spoke on two separate occasions about grip strength, and the importance of not wearing gloves while performing any exercise or program.  Fuck, I even provided a real life depiction of what you look like when you wear gloves in my last article!  Gloves do provide protection…but it’s still lamer than wearing a rubber.  At least with a rubber you’re trying to avoiding something that might not be wanted right now!

So, to further add to my argument as to why you should NEVER wear gloves to the gym, ladies and germs, meet Sparkles!

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Sparkles is a cross dressing manicurist who underwent TWO gender reassignments (he’s very confused).  He’s great at bedazzling your nails.  His ass looks nice in round in a dress.  As you can see in the last picture, he’ll also hold your newborn, mixed race baby!  Wanna know what Sparkles can’t do?  He can’t deadlift worth a shit.  Why?  It ain’t from the lack of testosterone in his body – it’s because he wears gloves to the gym.

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If you want to see how Sparkles fares trying to pull a measly 145lbs, click on the video above!

This is my vision of you, yes YOU.  When I see you wearing gloves I see Sparkles.  I see a guy with absolutely no desire whatsoever to be stronger than he or even she knows.  I see someone with no desire to to be anything other than average, I could give two shits about how much muscle you have.  I didn’t pull more than double my bodyweight because I wore gloves.  Don’t be average.  Don’t be Sparkles.

Post workout stretching in the next installment.

Lift With Hatred Part 1:

https://metalheadconfessions.com/2019/07/30/lift-with-hatred-the-workout-part-1/

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Random Thoughts

jim-wendler

See this guy?  This guy is the man.  Fuck that – he’s my hero.  If you don’t know who he is Jim Wendler is the COO of Elite FTS, making him CEO Dave Tate’s right hand man.  But what makes in more important than even that is his awesome training program he developed for all kinds of lifters from bodybuilders to athletes to powerlifters, 5/3/1.

On paper it seems as annoying to decode as any other powerlifting program with calculating percentages, etc.  But what makes this program so unique, at least to me, is that Jim takes the guess work right out of everything.  It’s real simple; in one 4-week cycle you will perform three sets of your main lift for 3 working sets of  5 reps during the first week, 3 sets of 3 reps the next week, and then for the last week you will perform 3 working sets of 5 reps, then 3 reps and then 1 rep or more if you can.  After your main lift, you will perform two or three assistance lifts, followed by light or  hard conditioning (he likes to push prowlers and run up hills a lot)  depending on the day.  After all that you will enjoy a deload week as your fourth week as a way to recover while still staying active before going back into the heavy stuff.

I like this a lot because in short the name of the game of long term gains.  This isn’t some eight week program you read about in mainstream bodybuilding magazines.  This is about making new gains and breaking new PR’s every cycle, regardless of what that PR is.  If during a cycle you bench 155lbs for 5 reps during the third week and then in the next cycle your benching those same numbers for 8 reps, it’s still a PR.  You’re still getting stronger.

I’m pretty sure this program has been real good to me since I began using it back in October because as of today I finally Deadlifted 305lbs for the first time.  I’d like to thank Motorhead’s badass track “The Hammer” for giving me the energy to do this!  I probably should’ve gotten there two cycles ago but instead of increasing the weights every cycle by ten pounds I increased them by five.  Oops.  I’m beyond grateful that my gym in Clifton, New York Sports Club, actually has a deadlift platform with bumper plates because I refuse to deadlift with those shitty octagonal plates EVER again.  In fact, I hope who ever created those plates gets shot in the fucking throat repeatedly because they make TRUE strength training such a hindrance.

Week 3: Day 2 – Deadlift Day!

Deadlift

125lbs – 1 x 5

155lbs – 1 x 5

185lbs – 1 x 5

245lbs – 1 x 5

275lbs – 1 x 3

305lbs – 1 x3

Hyperextensions

35lbs – 3 x 12, 12 10

Ab Core machine

20lbs – 3 x 20, 20, 20

I wanted to use the ab crunch machine and do three sets with 105lbs but some middle aged bitch was occupying it, taking her sweet ass time.  You know the ones, they sit on the machine for 10 minutes, while socializing, and they even stop DURING THEIR SETS to yap some more.  Why are they even in the gym?  Shouldn’t they be in the beauty parlor with their other middle aged friends gossiping about some worthless piece of shit reality show they probably rush home for every day because they have NOTHING ELSE to live for??

Oh!  Speaking of Motorhead…

Lemmy

My girlfriend told me two days ago that Dingbatz was going to host the streaming of Lemmy’s memorial service in L.A. using Motorhead’s YouTube page, so of course we went.  It’s awesome knowing I’m literally a driving distance of ten minutes from the place.  There weren’t as many people there to watch it as we figured there would be, which was fine by me because we actually got seats at the bar giving us a great view of the brand new flat screens that the management just had installed, with the much older “tubes” now sitting outside of the bar.

It was held at a chapel, there was no way in fuck that this would be held at a church.  Nope nope!  Next to a podium was a table with a few souvenirs, if you will; Lemmy’s pirate hat which covered his urn – I had no idea he was cremated! – something from the WWE with their logo on it, always tacky guys, you never learn, do you?  His cowboy boots were on it along with some speed…a parting gift from Motorhead guitarist Phil Campbell, who surprised all of us by NOT being there.  I repeat: PHIL CAMPBELL was NOT at his own bandmate’s FUNERAL.  Surrounding both sides of the chapel?  Lemmy’s Marshall “MURDER ONE” Full Stacks.  FUCK.  YES.

Not many people there in suits, maybe one or two people.  But the difference between those two people was all too clear:  one guy probably wore a suit out of respect, like I would, and Triple H wore a suit because he has a corporate image to uphold.  Yeah, I said it.  There were a lot of people there to speak about Lemmy as well as one or two people I know I sure didn’t expect.  Did any of you truly expect GENE SIMMONS to be there?  Since when the fuck does GENE FUCKING SIMMONS care about anyone BUT himself??  Geezer Butler was also there, which was cool of him.  Of course Ozzy and $haron were there, I mean $haron only screwed him out of potentially MILLIONS in royalties for writing classic songs on both No More Tears and Ozzmosis by giving him flat rates.  Cunt.

Among the speakers were various people, from random friends from Germany, to Lemmy’s somn Paul, to the band’s management and road crew (You know what song came to my mind every time!), to celebrities we all know.  Just like that the theme of this service was all too clear: friendship.  As much of a modern day pirate as he was, Lemmy was everybody’s friend and those people who were invited to speak were obviously those he made the most impact on from a personal level.  A surprisingly emotional Mike Inez of Alice In Chains spoke, as well as Slash, who spoke about the time he spent with Lemmy in the hospital after he was fitted with a pacemaker, being by his side everyday until he was released.  I had no idea.  I’ll never be a fan of Slash’s guitar playing and I LOATHE Guns N Roses but he always comes of like that guy you can hang out with for hours.

Triple H (most boring wrestler EVER) told some funny stories about Lemmy.  Remember, before he became a corporate sellout he was a metalhead who would often do interview segments in a battle jacket with either one of his own shirts or the Motorhead England shirt.  In that regard he was for real.  He had the honor of having Motorhead play him to the ring for two Wrestlemanias.  Luckily for me he lost both times.  He mentioned that when that happened Lemmy said to him: “You can’t win a match to save your life, can you?  That’s why you’re good for us!”  But after talking of Lemmy the ballbuster he spoke of Lemmy the gentleman.

He and his wife went to see Motorhead backstage at a festival show.  He went backstage and he found Lemmy with two towels on, topless girls and coke on the table.  He was about to come in until Lemmy noticed Stephanie.  “Whoop!  Close the door!”, he yelled as Trips waited outside.  When Lemmy reopened the door he was now dressed, the girls were dressed and the coke was gone, which Trips could only assume Lemmy snorted all of – and all because Stephanie was there.  Sure sounds like a gentleman to me, even though not too long ago Steph actually had double implants.

All of us in the bar were VERY surprised when Rob Halford came up to speak.  I had no idea he’d be there but it shouldn’t be too much of a shocker.  Like Lemmy, this world is Rob’s life and even after all the decades he’s been doing this he’s still a fan.  He told everyone: “When I was in the presence of Lord Lemmy, I was a bit overwhelmed …”  Yeah?  Well, so were the rest of us bud.  Points for calling him “Lord Lemmy”, by the way.  After Rob left Lemmy’s girlfriend came up.  She was clearly drunk, slurring her words the entire time.  No denying she’s in a major panic right now, trying to figure out what to do next.

Lars Ulrich and Robert Trujillo of Metallica came up and that’s when I got interested.  Upon walking up to the podium, Lars looked…different.  I don’t mean the homeless guy beard he had but his vibe was different.  He was clearly shaken up there…even vulnerable.  Metallica are dead to me after …And Justice For All, but there would be no Metallica without Motorhead and Lars made it painfully obvious in every interview he’s ever done. You knew it when he spoke of opening for Motorhead in 1982, the year before Metallica were even signed to Megaforce Records, and Lemmy recognized him from their meeting in Denmark not too long before that.  The theme of his speech was that Lemmy always treated him as an equal.  I’m sure Lars could’ve said much more…if he wasn’t still shaken.  It must’ve finally hit him that his idol is gone.  That has to really suck for Lars, knowing that the reason he is the drummer for biggest band in the world is no longer here.

Dave Grohl was the last person to speak, which is what everyone was waiting for.  You know his general history: drummer for extremely overrated grunge band turned frontman/guitarist for middle of the road rock band.  But those who REALLY know ANYTHING about the guy know too well that he’s nearly as big a Motorhead fan as even Lars!  He occupation as guitarist for his middle of the road rock band basically finances his love of all things hardcore, crust and metal.  If you know ANYTHING about Dave Grohl you heard his metal side project Probot, which featured several different metal vocalist, including Lemmy, with whom he recorded the only good track on that CD, “Shake Your Blood:, in which Lemmy also played bass.

Over the years Dave and Lemmy truly developed a bond with a each other.  The two of them got together many times and were clearly the best of friends for years.  Watching him up there you can tell he was truly humbled to be friend with the guy.  What sucked was when the mic got cut off and we couldn’t hear shit for about ten minutes, and went right back on before he finished.  He mentioned their love of Little Richard, which plays and important part here.  Right before Lemmy died Dave got Little Richard to autograph a bible pamphlet for him to give to Lemmy, but Lemmy died right before he could give it to him.  So right before he let the podium Dave recited a few lines from Little Richard’s song “Precious Lord Take My Hand”, before raising a toast to Lemmy.

After it was done Lemmy’s tech plugged in his Rickenbacker signature “Rickenbastard” bass, leaned it against his full stack and let that shit feed back forever.  THAT is how you hold a memorial service.  Let’s celebrate the guys life – I think he’d make fun of all of us for mourning him, I know he wouldn’t want us to, although the woman sitting across from us was in tears the entire time.  The world is still a shittier place without you though pal.