Buy The Fucking Record!

Posted on July 30, 2023 by Mike

It’s been brought to my attention via e-mail that the cost of my premium subscription to Spotify will be increasing in less than two months. I don’t believe it’s going to affect me too much, as what the cost will be is not even a dollar above what I currently pay. With my subscription also comes Hulu, which I partially rely on for TV, as I “cut the cord” more than four years ago.

Fuck cable.

It was a day later, however, that I read a Metal Injection article which indicated – not surprisingly – that, while the fees are going up, artists royalties are to remain the same. In fact, it’s also been brought to my attention over the years that the royalties artists receive via Spotify alone are actually disgraceful. How disgraceful you ask? The traditional, long-standing royalty rate a typical artist receives in terms of record sales is $00.08 per record sold, eight measly cents. Spotify’s royalty rate per regular stream?

Anywhere between $0.003 to $0.005.

That’s pretty fucking bad last time I checked. But hey, at least Apple music pays their artists up to a penny per stream, right? Anyone? That’s no way for any artist below megastar caliber to live. There’s a reason why there are so many bands these days that, despite possibly having all the potential in the world, call it quits eventually. This goes for ALL genres of music, by the way.

This is also another instance in which I will ABSOLUTELY point the finger to my generation, the ones who, in an act of self-righteousness act like their time was the pinnacle of society. By the way, it wasn’t. The mp3 format was invented in 1989, a whole decade earlier than I previously thought. It was in 1999 that jackass of the year Sean Fanning along with Sean Parker created Napster. It was a slow, steady build, leading to mass popularity within not even a year. The purpose of Napster? It was essentially “digital tape trading”.

Sounds good on paper, sure. But the difference was, with traditional tape trading, which I definitely partook in, record sales were still a thing. What Napster did was enable users, using the concept of “peer-to-peer file sharing”, to upload and download music in the form of mp3 files for anyone to take. And THAT is what disrupted record sales for the first time, paving the way for the slow bleed of record sales across the fucking board.

Most people I knew turned their backs on Metallica after Lars decided to sue Napster in the summer of 2000. I, along with most, already had turned my back on Metallica not too long before this, when I realized that their first four records were the end all be all, while their mid-late 90’s output was pure, weak shit in comparison. I understood however, as someone who thought he wanted a career in music, exactly why Lars was suing. If new music was really being leaked before it could properly be released, allowing everyone to download it, no one would buy anything. One poignant piece of information Lars pointed out in his testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee was that, while they were doing just fine from a fiscal standpoint (and still are), most artists beneath them were barely scraping by. While selling 100,000 was peanuts to Metallica by that point, that same number would be a MILESTONE for any underground band or artist.

My brother had Napster on the computer we had at our father’s house. One day, without even asking my thoughts on the subject, he just proclaimed in disgust, in an even more disgusting Brooklyn accent “I can’t believe you don’t like Napster!”. Believe it fuckface! But it’s also easy to be for any kind downloading if you aren’t a musician. And the reason I spoke so much about Napster here is because Napster co-creator Sean Parker decided to invest in Spotify in 2010, a year after the company’s inception, because he felt they were continuing Napster’s legacy.

But hey, want to know a secret? Want to know how you – yes you! – can help make even a splatter of a difference.

Ready…?

You sure…?

Really sure…?

Ok here comes….

BUY THE FUCKING RECORD YOU FUCKING CHEAP FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you’re reading this, you are a Metalhead who probably does this already, or I hope your ass does. But for the rest of you: do you really like an artist? Do you really want that artist to succeed? Has said artist or band made such an impact on your life that you don’t know what you’d do if they disappeared tomorrow? BUY THE FUCKING RECORD! I don’t give a shit if you but a cassette, CD, vinyl. Fuck, go to any metal show in some shithole bar and you might find bands selling cassettes of their music along with digital download cards.

For those of you who are not metalheads, consider this: an artist’s livelihood depends on record sales first and foremost. I don’t want to hear about touring and merchandise, especially since labels now offer 360 deals in which they literally take money from EVERYTHING the artist does, including selling merchandise. The artist’s ability to stay on any label has always been dependent on if the sales numbers are good. If those numbers drop more and more, the label has no reason to keep that artist.

Quick Tips

Before I go here’s some advice. It’s not a big deal to use streaming services such as Spotify and Apple Music to discover new artists. That’s what I’ve done in the past, even going back to the Napster days. It’s how I first heard key tracks off of Rust in Peace. But guess what I did afterwards? I BOUGHT THE FUCKING RECORD. I discovered Nails through Spotify in 2015, a year before they released You Will Never Be One Of Us, their most important album to date. But after I heard them in 2015 and shat myself, I BOUGHT BOTH OF THEIR FUCKING RECORDS. Go ahead and look for new music; but if you find something that truly HITS YOU, support that artist.

And speaking of Megadeth, another thing you can do, especially if you want to outright get rid of streaming, is to do what I did in 2018. Get yourself an mp3 player and transfer your music onto the player, that way you have at your disposal the music YOU want to hear, not just what Spotify or Apple Music has. Case in point: I unconditionally DESPISE the remix jobs Mustaine did with Rust in Peace though Youthanasia in 2003. But only those remixes are what’s available on Spotify now, not the originals. However, with my music transferred to my tiny little Sandisk, I can hear those aforementioned records in all their TRUE glory any time I want!

My Take On Metallica’s Being A Band.

Posted on November 9, 2021April 28, 2022 by Mike

https://open.spotify.com/show/4Adxscmvu0LeAWt2xA734l

They’ve got to be kidding…right?

Upon hearing a week ago that Metallica were hosting their own Masterclass series titled Being A Band, I quickly saw just as many eyebrows raised throughout the internet. Nice to know I wasn’t the only one with a brain. Let’s be real: the idea of Metallica teaching ANYONE how to be a band is absolutely laughable. I could give two shits about their legacy, it’s absolutely moot to the purpose of this article.

I just wonder if anyone reading this has actually paid to watch that shit. I can only imagine they’d have no choice but to dwell on their dark past (OTHER than Cliff Burton’s gruesome death in 1986 and James Hetfield entering rehab in 2001) that NO ONE really brings up. So that begs the question: how much of their “advice” is based on the truth? How much more of it is based on a fabricated history? Fuck, Jason Newsted had recently alluded to the fact that there are a “lot of secrets” within Metallica.

That aside, I know better than to watch this shitshow. But I’m here today to bring you my own, homespun, brutally honest interpretation of Being A Band, all for free and all for your displeasure. Let’s go with number 1, shall we??

Labor For Far Longer Than Necessary Over Song Arrangements

That’s right. Go find a band that’s a major influence on you the way Saxon influenced Lars, watch them beat a song arrangement to death when it probably sounded good after just a few tries, assume that it’s the only way to write songs and prepare for a career chock full of infighting within your band. Do you happen to have a musician in your band that’s a songwriting genius that can just shit out song after song on his own while keeping shit basic? Does your band have the ability to make a QUALITY album in a relatively short amount of time?

Fuck that! Make sure that you ALWAYS have to have a say in EVERYTHING the band does. Make sure you oversee every minute detail of the simplest, four minute single. Makes sure your band practices that song over and over again to the point that, once you finally hit that record button, your deadline for the album is just around the corner. How the fuck could first take magic possibly mean shit when you can take years to write all of ten songs and totally piss of your loyal fan base, as they wait possibly close to a decade before you release that next album? Duh!

2. Make Sure Your Producer Doubles As A Yoko

You’re inching closer and closer to success with each passing album. You’ve finally hit Platinum status in sales AND you’re even a home owner now. Imagine you and your band jamming away on a fast, probably badass new track as the big name producer your label brought in arrives and hears what you’re playing. His hello to the band is to tell you to stop and play it slower.

Absolutely listen to him and let him know right away that he has control over you and that your balls are safe…in his grip! It won’t seem like that at first, especially since your initial record under his supervision becomes your biggest selling album of ALL TIME, even if it unquestionably divides fans, and leaving some questioning your integrity. Keep that producer for the next several years, as he influences you to explore sonic territory that not only is unnecessary, but alienates whatever ever “back in the day” fans you have left.

Go ahead and let him be considered by the public to be your band’s fifth member (or sixth if your band’s a five piece already). Take him everywhere you go like the little lapdog he is, and he’ll know he doesn’t need to worry about the source of his next pay check. If you lose a band member, let him PLAY on your next album, thus giving him hope that he might even join your band that he helped to completely alter the course of. Let him dominate you like you’re his BDSM dungeon bitch so bad that the stench is strong for decades to…cum.

3. Overuse Your Wah Wah Pedal To The Point Of Sexual Abuse

Are you the lead guitarist in your band? Did you idolize guitarists that made decent use of their wah pedals the way Kirk Hammett says Michael Schenker is one of the reasons he himself started relying on the wah pedal? Well what the fuck are you waiting for? Stomp that pedal and rock it back and forth uncontrollably and far more often than your idols ever did!

You can’t stand out if your wah pedal use has control and intentional limitations. You need to use your wah pedal on practically EVERY SINGLE SOLO YOU EVER PLAY. Your tone with the wah MUST be insufferable, and you have to sound like you have absolutely no right hand at all.

At all.

Ever.

Not even to jerk off.

4. Grant A Film Crew Unlimited Access To All Of Your Band’s Drama

Did you decide to have a little fun and let the whole world see your band in the middle of recording an album? Did shit not go as planned? Did a band member quit? Did someone go to rehab after years of unchecked abuse that’s still nothing compared to another ex member, whose trips to rehabs surpassed double digits long before your first go at sobriety? Is this person you?

Pay that film crew for the rights to that footage and continue to film away!

Expose your personal business to the entire world. Hire a “performance enhancement” coach known for working with NFL teams, because it doesn’t matter how many business deals you’ve gone through as a band – you can’t handle someone quitting. This coach CANNOT be a licensed psychologist or even a licensed psychotherapist. Treat him like your own, personal security blanket and keep him on your payroll for far longer than any other band in history. Much like your producer (see #2), make HIM so comfortable that he starts trying to write lyrics for your band in the middle of a recording session. The more leeches in your life the better, of course!

Speaking of band members leaving, I saved the most important bit of advice for last.

5. Drive Your Most Loyal Bandmate To Quit

This is the last thing I’ve ever wish on any band. But imagine you lost a band member in a horrific accident ala Cliff Burton. Instead of taking time off to grieve the loss of your comrade in arms, throw yourselves immediately into replacing him before you head overseas to tour. Find yourself your band’s biggest fan.

He worships the very bandmember he’s replacing
He knows your entire catalog inside and out
He’s willing to do anything you want because he doesn’t want to take this chance for granted
He’ll sign autographs backstage while your lazy ass is already back at the hotel getting shitfaced

Haze the shit out of him. You want to remind him that he didn’t just waltz into a happy situation; but because neither you or your band ever gave yourselves the time needed to grieve, you can just take out all of your anger on that loyal, new replacement. Prank him backstage, embarrass him onstage. Dictate what and how he plays when recording an album.

Completely shatter his spirit by being the one guy to still haze him even years after everybody else grows up and accepts reality. Condemn him during an interview with a national publication for daring to express his desires to record an album with a decidedly different sounding side band because you’re afraid to lose him, even if you’re still treating him the new kid years after his arrival into your life. And when he requests to hold a meeting with the band to further express his desires for a break because he physically ran himself to the ground for you and your band, show up drunk at 10 in the morning and tell him no, ultimately strengthening his resolve to tell you to he’s gone.

Follow these five easy steps and YOU just might be on your way to a highly successful career in music!

4/28/22 – look below to see the most hilarious fangirl comment I’ve ever seen. It’s dopes, like this who forget that I’m basically speaking opinion here, whose over the top reactions let me know I’m doing my job. Thanks bud!

The Return Of GOD: Megadeth – Live At Roseland Ballroom November 10th 2004

Posted on March 24, 2019September 29, 2020 by Mike

I realized that it’s been a long time since I wrote about my concert history, the last time I wrote anything was about my trip to Ozzfest ’04 featuring headliners Slayer, Judas Priest and Black Sabbath…with Rob Halford on vocals. Click here if you never read it:

https://metalheadconfessions.com/2016/06/30/possibly-the-best-ozzfest-lineup-ever-ozzfest-2004-august-26th-2004/

But that left one more concert for that year and it was one I NEVER thought I’d see. Seriously. Never.

A year earlier, Thrash Metal pioneer Dave Mustaine, who had quit Megadeth – his own band – and retired from music over an arm injury, had announced he was coming out of retirement. He’d even gotten himself a brand new endorsement deal with ESP Guitars…which I’d wonder from time to time after that if that was yet another blatant attempt to feel validated by his ex Metallica bandmates, as James Hetfield had been endorsed by them since 1988 and by the way still is. He had announced plans to remix and remaster the entire Megadeth catalogue, which he had actually started in 2001 when he remixed and remastered the band’s 1985 debut Killing Is My Business…And Business Is Good…which really did give the record a fresh pair of raw, drug addled BALLS. Dave also mentioned the idea of recording a solo record that while he’d never tour for, he’d probably perform a small handful of club shows. Or so he thought.

About a year later Mustaine started posting snippets of new recordings and to say the least, they did sound promising. Very promising. This was also following the news that he managed to get former Megadeth guitarist lead guitarist Chris Poland to play on this new record…which was now a Megadeth record by name only due to contractual obligations with his publishing company. Let’s speed this up: he teased us with the release of three songs that sounded fucking great. Later in the year he released The System Has Failed, featuring those three songs as the opening three tracks. After that it’s such a fucking shitfest. From a musician’s standpoint the guitar tones were so fucking WEAK due to Mustaine playing an old Marshall Plexi, which is NOT the appropriate amp to play his style of music to begin with. Second of all, I understood that this was recorded as a solo record before Mustaine was forced to make it a Megadeth record, so I expected to hear a musical departure of sorts. But this whole album minus the first three songs was just lame. Oh, and if you’re reading this and you happen to be one of the jackasses that proclaimed that The System Has Failed was the “best album since Rust In Peace!”, you should jump in front of an 18 wheeler yesterday. Thanks.

Around the time of the album’s release Dave appeared on Friday Night Rocks with Eddie Trunk to discuss everything that was happening from the album’s release to his MAJOR fallout with co-founder/bassist David Ellefson to Ellefson, Marty Freidman and Nick Menza – the classic Rust In Peace lineup – all refusing to join him on this comeback tour. But when he gave Eddie the list of tour dates he said the New York City on November 10th was a possibility (he couldn’t remember for sure at the time) I knew to save the date. Yeah the “comeback” record was weak but this allegedly was going to be the last time Dave Mustaine went on the road under the Megadeth banner so I didn’t give a shit. I had worshiped this guy since high school and some of my own guitar technique were taken from him. There was NO WAY I was missing this.

Tickets were pretty cheap at $36 each so I bought tickets for the guys in my band at the time: Idrees and Chad (who never paid me back). Our newest addition to the band, our drummer Chris, met us there with his girlfriend Shari and her sister Marissa, who was actually the music director of my college radio station at the time, along with her boyfriend Vin. Marissa claimed to be a big Megadeth fan but as she’d admit to later on, she was nothing more than a poser. I loved her to death – and she also had a great pair of titties! – but don’t call yourself a big fan of ANY band if you only have two albums from that band.

We arrived at the now-defunct Roseland Ballroom, close to the Ed Sullivan Theater in Manhattan, looking so 80’s it was hilarious, myself wearing a leather jacket with my denim vest over it and leather gloves with my dog chain that I still have. I had already learned that I’d rather wear just a plain, black shirt instead of any band shirt in order to avoid random losers interrogating me on love of said band and telling me stories I could honestly give two shits about. As we all walked in, the opening band, Exodus were playing. This was weird to see only because they had JUST released a new album, Tempo Of The Damned, only for longtime vocalist Steve “Zetro” Sousa to quit shortly after. So who was singing for him? Steev from Skinlab…who was doing way too much to try to look like Phil Anselmo circa 1996, between the undershave haircut (Idrees called it the Vagina Haircut), the leather cuffs, the short sleeve flannel shirt, the green cargo shorts and his tendency to always bend down to scream…which by the way Phil stole from Henry Rollins.

In between bands, as Megadeth were next, Idrees was approached by this muscular, 16 year old kid with glasses, who apparently met him in a pit during an Overkill show at the also now-defunct B.B. King’s. After they shared a few words the boy turned to me and said he knew me too. I was very confused; between his physique and the glasses I was sure he had to have mistaken me for someone else, until he reminded me that he met me at my former music store were I was still taking lessons at the time, and that he had approached me when he heard me playing the Megadeth song “Sweating Bullets” on an acoustic guitar. That was two years earlier and I had not seen him in that long a time so the fact that he remembered me was impressive. Nonetheless we were both stoked to see each other. We’d wind up hanging out together almost frequently for the next four years after this night but that almost didn’t happen and here’s why!

The lights went out, the crowds lost their shit as Ice T’s “Shut Up, Be Happy” began blaring through the speakers…

One by one, the current touring lineup Mustaine put together for this tour start to walk out on stage: drummer Shawn Drover, ex-Iced Earth bassist James MacDonough, guitarist Glen Drover. There’s wall of sick looking Marshall cabinets on the stage with a drum kit that looks a LOT like something Nick Menza would’ve played. After a minute of two…you could hear the sounds of another guitar playing the beginning of “Set The World Afire” from 1988’s So Far, So Good…So What!. That’s when Dave Mustaine finally walked out on stage, chugging away on his guitar. At that moment I felt a foot come out of nowhere, kicking me right in the fucking nose, making me bleed. Then the entire crowd were to become one gigantic mosh pit, meaning Rob and I, as quickly as we were reunited, were being forcefully pushed apart. We tried to grab on to each other but this crowd was understandably way too violent to try and overcome unless I really wanted broken bones to go with the bloody nose.

The band pulled out the classics on after another, starting with “Afire” and kicking right into “Skin ‘O’ My Teeth” into “Wake Up Dead”, which is when shit REALLY got out of hand. Then again, if you know ANYTHING about Megadeth I shouldn’t have to tell you that “Wake Up Dead” is essentially that one song meant just for moshing once the band gets into that middle riff after Dave’s first solo. And that was immediately followed by “In My Darkest Hour”. The band were really able to hold there own, although I always thought Shawn Drover was the least dynamic drummer in Megadeth’s entire history. Mustaine, however was surprising. He’d retired because he couldn’t even move his arm thanks to this bizarre injury he acquired and more than two years later he’s absolutely ripping it up as if nothing happened to him! It honestly made me and probably a few others rather suspicious as to the actual severity of his injury. But that’s a story for another time.

Here’s the setlist:

Set The World Afire

Skin ‘O’ My Teeth

Wake Up Dead

In My Darkest Hour

Something That I’m Not

Angry Again

Of Mice And Men

Reckoning Day

A Tout Le Monde

Die Dead Enough

Tornado Of Souls

Kick The Chair

Hangar 18

Sweating Bullets

Symphony Of Destruction

Back In The Day (featuring Exodus near the end of the song)

Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying?

Encore:

Holy Wars…The Punishment Due

At the end of the set, and after the band walked off the stage, Dave Mustaine walked back on for second. “Thank you…for believing in me!”, he yelled out, before walking off for good. As I said earlier, this was allegedly going to be the last time he toured not just under the Megadeth banner, but at all. This would go on for another several months, and on to his first ever attempt at a festival gig, which I did go to. But that’s for another article.

I no longer remember much about what happened after I left the building with my band, but I can only assume I bumped into Rob again and I’m sure we had to have finally exchanges numbers, either outside the building or on the ferry heading home. He’d tag along with Idrees and I to see Megadeth in New Jersey two years later. What I do remember, however, was driving not home, but to my Dad’s house after I was dropped off by ferry. It was almost 2am; I knew that it’d be way easier to sleep there than home, where my jackass brother and mother were most likely fighting even that late at night. I totally skipped my Astronomy class the following afternoon, having woken up around the time the class had just started, I think. No regerts. None. But my radio show was that afternoon so I did have to head to campus whether I like it or not. The show’s opener that afternoon?

I’m on social media these days more than I am on here writing articles because I’m super busy. Hopefully that’ll change soon. Here’s where to follow me:

https://www.facebook.com/confessionsofanangrymetalhead

https://www.instagram.com/confessionsofanangrymetalhead/

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The End Of Days Is Near…RIP Slayer

Posted on January 27, 2018January 27, 2018 by Mike

I’ve been wondering for almost five years if they’d ever get a fucking clue and just call it a day. Then, this past Monday, Slayer made this bombshell announcement amid rumors of a huge summer tour lineup including Testament, Behemoth, Lamb Of God and fellow Big Four band Anthrax:

Well damn. There was just one thing for me to say….it’s about fucking time! In my opinion this should’ve been done nearly five years ago, as I said above. Why? Nothing against Paul Bostaph who’s currently in his second run with the band, but the band’s treatment and dismissal of Dave Lombardo – especially by Kerry King – was just fucking disgrace by all accounts. A few months later, guitarist Jeff Hanneman died of alcohol related cirrhosis of the liver. While they had already been touring with Exodus guitarist Gary Holt for a few years while Jeff was recovering from a near fatal spider bite, they should’ve stopped everything right there.

I’ve spoken about this in an article ripping Kerry for calling Jeff “worm food” back in 2015. Yeah, Kerry is a great rhythm player, he’s a really good guitarist, probably more technically sound than Jeff. But Jeff was the better songwriter, having written “Angel Of Death”, “Necrophiliac”. “Spill The Blood”, “Postmortem” and the perennial set closer, “Raining Blood”. Being that he was the one guy in the band that was more influenced by Punk than the others, his songwriting and playing style were far more reckless and chaotic than anything Kerry wrote. Same goes for his lead style, just pure balls to the wall ripping. It was never pretty and that’s why it was amazing. Here’s an example, go to the 1:42 mark for Jeff’s solo. By the way the music here is all his too.

I can spend this entire article kissing Jeff’s ass but here’s my point: like it or not Jeff was a KEY member of the band. With him gone, Slayer was officially nothing more than a tribute band. You know, that band that just goes out there for the money and play those signature songs they didn’t even write. Because every time they play “Angel Of Death”, their SIGNATURE song, it just does not look right seeing Gary on the left side of the stage – and by the way this is not to disrespect Gary.

But it’s like David Vincent and Tim Yeung going out on tour as I Am Morbid (I seriously cannot stop laughing at that name!). Yeah, David wrote almost all the lyrics to those classic Morbid Angel songs; but without Trey killing it on guitar it just sounds like a money grab before the tour even starts. From a non metal perspective it’s the equivalent of Aerosmith touring and recording without Joe Perry or Brad Whitford – BOTH of the band’s guitarists! – for five years. Who really gives a shit about Rock And A Hard Place? Certainly not I!

While it’s clear to me that both Kerry and Tom Araya are the two business partners of the band, Kerry most likely is the one that pushed and pushed to keep going. He’s much more shrewd of a business man. But there’s one problem. His songwriting style has changing DRASTICALLY since the earlier days, as he’s almost embraced shitty trends such as Nu Metal and it showed a little too much on 2001’s God Hates Us All. Wanna know why I’ll never give Repentless, a complete listen through? Because who in their RIGHT MIND wants to hear an entire Slayer record written by him? And if you say you do you’re just a fan boy and should go die – fucking slowly.

Tom, on the other hand, made it clear several times over the years that at his age he’s become homesick. He’s tired, and I think he’s kind of lonely without Jeff. Starting in the late eighties/early nineties, Tom and Jeff began a songwriting partnership that produced some of Slayer’s best tracks, including “War Ensemble”, “Season In The Abyss” and my favorite latter era track, “Eyes Of The Insane”. Jeff wrote the music but Tom wrote the lyrics. Here’s a statement Tom made to Loudwire in 2016:

“At 35 years, it’s time to collect my pension. [Laughs] This is a career move. I’m grateful that we’ve been around for 35 years; that’s a really long time. So, yeah, to me, it is. Because when we started off, everything was great, because you’re young and invincible. And then there came a time where I became a family man, and I had a tough time flying back and forth. And now, at this stage, at the level we’re at now, I can do that; I can fly home when I want to, on days off, and spend some time with my family, which is something I wasn’t able to do when [my kids] were growing up. Now they’re both older and mature. So now I take advantage of that.” Araya added: “Yeah, it just gets harder and harder to come back out on the road. 35 years is a long time.”

So I’m wondering if either certain business/contractual matters were finally resolved or Tom finally let Kerry know that he had enough. I personally think that at 56 years old he’s burnt out. It probably take it’s physical toll to scream like that every night at his age. Or just maybe he has enough common sense to understand that things can NEVER be the same with Jeff gone. Either way, the band has finally made the right call because at this point they’re more than beating a dead horse. I almost want to see this farewell tour. The lineup is fucking sick, and I can almost guarantee Anthrax is on there because they’ll probably have both bands on stage together at the end of every show to play a few songs together and it’ll be one big party as 2/4 of the Big Four. Hell, even Dave Mustaine said he’d like to put together one last Big Four show as his way of sending them off. Sounds actually really cool, considering the interband relationship between his own band and Kerry (Kerry was in Megadeth for five seconds before he got sick of Dave’s dictator-like approach). But will they agree to it? However, as I’ve hashtagged on Instagram posts for a while now, #nojeffnoslayer.

No Jeff, no Slayer. He’s not there and I’m not interested. Kerry and Tom, congratulations. You’ve had an amazing career, creating a legacy that’s UNDENIABLE. But please, after this is all over, make sure it stays that way. Don’t be like that pro wrestler that retires then almost as quickly comes back because they can’t stand to be away – or need the money. Here’s one of THE most fucked up songs the band ever released, written by Jeff:

Discovering True Anger In Metal; My First Powerlifting Meet

Posted on January 17, 2016 by Mike

Discovering True Anger In Metal

I bought my first Megadeth CD, Cryptic Writings, in 1998 when I was fourteen, almost a year after it was originally released. I tried so hard to like it, I really did. Fuck, I was anticipating a lot more from the guy who fired from Metallica AND named his band MEGADETH. Come on! But I couldn’t. It was way too fucking tame, even songs like “She-Wolf”, “The Disintegrators”, and even “FFF” were watered down compared to what I was expecting. So I wrote ’em off like I did Metallica…especially after Risk! That’ll just put you to fucking sleep! At that time THE bands everybody my age listened to were the bands of the day like most kids do anyway, the bands in this case being Marilyn Manson (when he actually had balls), Korn (this was months before they became dead to me), OLD Metallica, Shit-vana (because it was some unspoken requirement to put that dead, talentless sack of shit on a pedestal), maybe one or two more that I can’t remember right now.

But over time I eventually discovered FAR BETTER songs from Megadeth thanks to WSOU like “Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying?” and “Sweating Bullets”. Amazing. It was near the end of my junior year in high school in 2001 when VH1 premiered their Behind The Music on the band. Upon watching it my interest in the band was renewed before I even got to the fucking ten minute mark. The intensity of everything from the way Mustaine alone grew up to the music being more badass than any riff Hetfield EVER came up with for Metallica to their beyond fucked up life style. Then came the news that their next album, The World Needs A Hero, was to be heavier and a lot less radio friendly than the last two piles of shit. And it was. So over time I found myself buying most of the classics from their glory days.

Then near the end of 2001 I heard the news that Mustaine had remixed and remastered the band’s 1985 debut album, Killing Is My Business…And Business Is Good!, including a forward written by Scott Ian (because he’s only THE biggest metal fan on earth), as well as brand new artwork. Remember this?

So badass. Not! So, the weekend it was released I went over to Sam Goody (remember that place?) and bought it. After a funny ride home from a cab driver telling me about all the girls he’s fucked I wasted no time and popped that shit right in my radio. The piano intro to “Last Rites/Loved To Deth” was crystal clear thanks to this new mix. I loved how it seemed to tell a story before the main riff kicked in. Holy shit this is intense! Listen to those double bass drums!! The morbidity of the song as he says “If I can’t have you then no one will!”. That crazy, frenzied solo – is he using his Bill Lawrence pickups as frets to hit higher notes??? Someone call 911 – he just RAPED his B.C. Rich Bich…and it was good!

So this set the tone! The entire album from here on in was pure balls to the wall, heavy as FUCK, ridiculously technical, jazzy time changes thanks to Chris Poland, whose solos run circles around most metal guitarists. Kirk who?! This was pure drug-feuled ANGER!! Dave Mustaine was fired from what was to be THE biggest band in the world and he desperately had something to prove. He was out for BLOOD. The peak of the album? “Looking Down The Cross”. This song completely summarizes the album as a whole. It’s well arranged, twists and turns at the right spots, Mustaine’s shockingly intelligent lyrics, the second of his two solos on the song is so panic stricken that it perfectly painted the mood of the entire song! The final track was “Mechanix”. For those of you who are new to this shit or live under a rock this is basically “The Four Horsemen” with a faster tempo, no slow interlude, and alternate lyrics about a horny gas attendant. Mustaine wrote the song before he joined Metallica and gave it to them along with “Jump In The Fire”, but when they fired him James and Lar$ changed the lyrics and added the two slower parts and made it the song you know on Kill ‘Em All. It was fun hearing this version of it, way more straight forward, way more badass.

I don’t know if I should thank Dave Mustaine’s thirst for revenge, drummer Gar Samuelson for introducing Mustaine and bassist David Ellefson to speedballs or both. But I’ll tell you what…Killing Is My Business… was absolutely BRUTAL in the year predating Slayer’s Reign In Blood. And with Mustaine’s amazing remix technique the newfound clarity amplifies that brutality times ten. THIS was what I needed so bad in a time when everyone around me was listening to THE lamest, shittiest music you could find on radio in early 2002. I was truly alone in this aspect but I didn’t care. When my friends were listening to either Mudvayne or shitty emo bands like Weezer I was deafening my ears with Killing… for a long time.

My First Powerlifting Meet

So after lots of thinking I finally decided to sign up for my first ever powerlifting meet, figuring that if I don’t do it now I might not ever. So as of earlier this afternoon I will be competing in Revolution Powerlifting Syndicate’s Jersey Rumble at the Ramada Inn in Newark, NJ on Saturday, May 21st. I’ll be part of the Amateur Open in the 198lb weight class in the Raw Modern Division. The Open begins between 2:30 – 3:00 but I have to be there at noon to be given the rules, warm up, etc. I’m going to see how I like it, regardless of how I do – which won’t be great. If I like it I’ll do it again. I imagine that if so I’d do one more meet later in the year, either in New Jersey again or somewhere in New York, most likely upstate somewhere. If things go well maybe I’ll join USAPL, which is an affiliate of the International Powerlifting Federation. If you’re reading this and plan on going to this feel free to drop me a line.

Random Thoughts

Posted on January 11, 2016March 8, 2016 by Mike

See this guy? This guy is the man. Fuck that – he’s my hero. If you don’t know who he is Jim Wendler is the COO of Elite FTS, making him CEO Dave Tate’s right hand man. But what makes in more important than even that is his awesome training program he developed for all kinds of lifters from bodybuilders to athletes to powerlifters, 5/3/1.

On paper it seems as annoying to decode as any other powerlifting program with calculating percentages, etc. But what makes this program so unique, at least to me, is that Jim takes the guess work right out of everything. It’s real simple; in one 4-week cycle you will perform three sets of your main lift for 3 working sets of 5 reps during the first week, 3 sets of 3 reps the next week, and then for the last week you will perform 3 working sets of 5 reps, then 3 reps and then 1 rep or more if you can. After your main lift, you will perform two or three assistance lifts, followed by light or hard conditioning (he likes to push prowlers and run up hills a lot) depending on the day. After all that you will enjoy a deload week as your fourth week as a way to recover while still staying active before going back into the heavy stuff.

I like this a lot because in short the name of the game of long term gains. This isn’t some eight week program you read about in mainstream bodybuilding magazines. This is about making new gains and breaking new PR’s every cycle, regardless of what that PR is. If during a cycle you bench 155lbs for 5 reps during the third week and then in the next cycle your benching those same numbers for 8 reps, it’s still a PR. You’re still getting stronger.

I’m pretty sure this program has been real good to me since I began using it back in October because as of today I finally Deadlifted 305lbs for the first time. I’d like to thank Motorhead’s badass track “The Hammer” for giving me the energy to do this! I probably should’ve gotten there two cycles ago but instead of increasing the weights every cycle by ten pounds I increased them by five. Oops. I’m beyond grateful that my gym in Clifton, New York Sports Club, actually has a deadlift platform with bumper plates because I refuse to deadlift with those shitty octagonal plates EVER again. In fact, I hope who ever created those plates gets shot in the fucking throat repeatedly because they make TRUE strength training such a hindrance.

Week 3: Day 2 – Deadlift Day!

Deadlift

125lbs – 1 x 5

155lbs – 1 x 5

185lbs – 1 x 5

245lbs – 1 x 5

275lbs – 1 x 3

305lbs – 1 x3

Hyperextensions

35lbs – 3 x 12, 12 10

Ab Core machine

20lbs – 3 x 20, 20, 20

I wanted to use the ab crunch machine and do three sets with 105lbs but some middle aged bitch was occupying it, taking her sweet ass time. You know the ones, they sit on the machine for 10 minutes, while socializing, and they even stop DURING THEIR SETS to yap some more. Why are they even in the gym? Shouldn’t they be in the beauty parlor with their other middle aged friends gossiping about some worthless piece of shit reality show they probably rush home for every day because they have NOTHING ELSE to live for??

Oh! Speaking of Motorhead…

My girlfriend told me two days ago that Dingbatz was going to host the streaming of Lemmy’s memorial service in L.A. using Motorhead’s YouTube page, so of course we went. It’s awesome knowing I’m literally a driving distance of ten minutes from the place. There weren’t as many people there to watch it as we figured there would be, which was fine by me because we actually got seats at the bar giving us a great view of the brand new flat screens that the management just had installed, with the much older “tubes” now sitting outside of the bar.

It was held at a chapel, there was no way in fuck that this would be held at a church. Nope nope! Next to a podium was a table with a few souvenirs, if you will; Lemmy’s pirate hat which covered his urn – I had no idea he was cremated! – something from the WWE with their logo on it, always tacky guys, you never learn, do you? His cowboy boots were on it along with some speed…a parting gift from Motorhead guitarist Phil Campbell, who surprised all of us by NOT being there. I repeat: PHIL CAMPBELL was NOT at his own bandmate’s FUNERAL. Surrounding both sides of the chapel? Lemmy’s Marshall “MURDER ONE” Full Stacks. FUCK. YES.

Not many people there in suits, maybe one or two people. But the difference between those two people was all too clear: one guy probably wore a suit out of respect, like I would, and Triple H wore a suit because he has a corporate image to uphold. Yeah, I said it. There were a lot of people there to speak about Lemmy as well as one or two people I know I sure didn’t expect. Did any of you truly expect GENE SIMMONS to be there? Since when the fuck does GENE FUCKING SIMMONS care about anyone BUT himself?? Geezer Butler was also there, which was cool of him. Of course Ozzy and $haron were there, I mean $haron only screwed him out of potentially MILLIONS in royalties for writing classic songs on both No More Tears and Ozzmosis by giving him flat rates. Cunt.

Among the speakers were various people, from random friends from Germany, to Lemmy’s somn Paul, to the band’s management and road crew (You know what song came to my mind every time!), to celebrities we all know. Just like that the theme of this service was all too clear: friendship. As much of a modern day pirate as he was, Lemmy was everybody’s friend and those people who were invited to speak were obviously those he made the most impact on from a personal level. A surprisingly emotional Mike Inez of Alice In Chains spoke, as well as Slash, who spoke about the time he spent with Lemmy in the hospital after he was fitted with a pacemaker, being by his side everyday until he was released. I had no idea. I’ll never be a fan of Slash’s guitar playing and I LOATHE Guns N Roses but he always comes of like that guy you can hang out with for hours.

Triple H (most boring wrestler EVER) told some funny stories about Lemmy. Remember, before he became a corporate sellout he was a metalhead who would often do interview segments in a battle jacket with either one of his own shirts or the Motorhead England shirt. In that regard he was for real. He had the honor of having Motorhead play him to the ring for two Wrestlemanias. Luckily for me he lost both times. He mentioned that when that happened Lemmy said to him: “You can’t win a match to save your life, can you? That’s why you’re good for us!” But after talking of Lemmy the ballbuster he spoke of Lemmy the gentleman.

He and his wife went to see Motorhead backstage at a festival show. He went backstage and he found Lemmy with two towels on, topless girls and coke on the table. He was about to come in until Lemmy noticed Stephanie. “Whoop! Close the door!”, he yelled as Trips waited outside. When Lemmy reopened the door he was now dressed, the girls were dressed and the coke was gone, which Trips could only assume Lemmy snorted all of – and all because Stephanie was there. Sure sounds like a gentleman to me, even though not too long ago Steph actually had double implants.

All of us in the bar were VERY surprised when Rob Halford came up to speak. I had no idea he’d be there but it shouldn’t be too much of a shocker. Like Lemmy, this world is Rob’s life and even after all the decades he’s been doing this he’s still a fan. He told everyone: “When I was in the presence of Lord Lemmy, I was a bit overwhelmed …” Yeah? Well, so were the rest of us bud. Points for calling him “Lord Lemmy”, by the way. After Rob left Lemmy’s girlfriend came up. She was clearly drunk, slurring her words the entire time. No denying she’s in a major panic right now, trying to figure out what to do next.

Lars Ulrich and Robert Trujillo of Metallica came up and that’s when I got interested. Upon walking up to the podium, Lars looked…different. I don’t mean the homeless guy beard he had but his vibe was different. He was clearly shaken up there…even vulnerable. Metallica are dead to me after …And Justice For All, but there would be no Metallica without Motorhead and Lars made it painfully obvious in every interview he’s ever done. You knew it when he spoke of opening for Motorhead in 1982, the year before Metallica were even signed to Megaforce Records, and Lemmy recognized him from their meeting in Denmark not too long before that. The theme of his speech was that Lemmy always treated him as an equal. I’m sure Lars could’ve said much more…if he wasn’t still shaken. It must’ve finally hit him that his idol is gone. That has to really suck for Lars, knowing that the reason he is the drummer for biggest band in the world is no longer here.

Dave Grohl was the last person to speak, which is what everyone was waiting for. You know his general history: drummer for extremely overrated grunge band turned frontman/guitarist for middle of the road rock band. But those who REALLY know ANYTHING about the guy know too well that he’s nearly as big a Motorhead fan as even Lars! He occupation as guitarist for his middle of the road rock band basically finances his love of all things hardcore, crust and metal. If you know ANYTHING about Dave Grohl you heard his metal side project Probot, which featured several different metal vocalist, including Lemmy, with whom he recorded the only good track on that CD, “Shake Your Blood:, in which Lemmy also played bass.

Over the years Dave and Lemmy truly developed a bond with a each other. The two of them got together many times and were clearly the best of friends for years. Watching him up there you can tell he was truly humbled to be friend with the guy. What sucked was when the mic got cut off and we couldn’t hear shit for about ten minutes, and went right back on before he finished. He mentioned their love of Little Richard, which plays and important part here. Right before Lemmy died Dave got Little Richard to autograph a bible pamphlet for him to give to Lemmy, but Lemmy died right before he could give it to him. So right before he let the podium Dave recited a few lines from Little Richard’s song “Precious Lord Take My Hand”, before raising a toast to Lemmy.

After it was done Lemmy’s tech plugged in his Rickenbacker signature “Rickenbastard” bass, leaned it against his full stack and let that shit feed back forever. THAT is how you hold a memorial service. Let’s celebrate the guys life – I think he’d make fun of all of us for mourning him, I know he wouldn’t want us to, although the woman sitting across from us was in tears the entire time. The world is still a shittier place without you though pal.

All Hail The King

Posted on January 1, 2016April 12, 2016 by Mike

Remember this?

Well…unless you were under a rock or in a coma over the last few days you already know that the most unimaginable actually happened. God himself died this past Monday. What a shitty way to end the year, losing the legendary Lemmy Kilmister, the Metal world’s King Badass, as the year is coming to a close as well just four days after the son of a bitch celebrated his 70th birthday.

My girlfriend read the news while I was playing my guitar that night. She came over to me and told me to take a deep breath, that’s when she told me the news. I initially outright refused to believe it, like I’m sure everyone else did. Lemmy Kilmister? Dead? Yet Keith Richards still lives?!?! As Mike Portnoy said on his twitter account, this was without a doubt the moment everyone feared would come yet never thought would actually happen.

For those of you who really were under a rock or in a coma; Lemmy thinned out at an alarming rate in the course of the last year, maybe even more than that, clearly a result of his lifestyle. The guy only did speed for decades and he even told Rolling Stone in April 2014 that he still was doing it – he just lowered the dosage after being fitted with a pacemaker. He also decided to switch out the Jack Daniels for Vodka because “vodka has less sugar”. Oh Lemmy, you funny guy. But you still had to respect the motherfucker because even with his declining health he still kept a grueling tour schedule with Motorhead. No one else would do that now.

That alone leads me to speculate about his “sudden” cancer diagnosis. According to the press he was diagnosed with aggressive brain and neck cancer just two days after his birthday and was given “two to six months” to live…only to die two days later in front of his favorite video game which the guys at The Rainbow were generous enough to transport to his condo that night. I don’t buy it. I think he knew “two to six months” ago that he was fucked and decided to pull a page out of Freddie Mercury’s book and keep the truth under wraps for as long as was feasible, but not for the same reasons Freddie did. Freddie was to be the Rock world’s first ever AIDS casualty – that clearly had to be pretty scary to admit back in the late 1980’s.

So why would Lemmy choose to keep this under wraps if my theory is right? Simple (while still stupid!)…he didn’t want us to worry about him. Lemmy was a warrior, his home was the stage and he couldn’t be Lemmy fucking Kilmister and NOT go out with a fucking bang! He was a man of no regrets and he knew his lifestyle had finally caught up with him; he must’ve known “two to six months” ago that there was no way chemo was going to help in anyway so he probably just said fuck it and finished what he started. You can’t do that from a hospital bed with your hair falling out, right?

That’s why we will always remember Lemmy. He ALWAYS delivered for the fans no matter how fucked up he was. He ALWAYS delivered for the fans when he “peers” didn’t want to be bothered hanging out with fans after a show or on the street somewhere. Honestly…I don’t think he really had any peers. I was going to write about this in a future post but I got the honor of meeting Lemmy almost eleven years ago when my friend’s band Arctic Flame opened up for Motorhead and he invited me to go with him. What did that mean to me? Well…I got to see the band do their soundcheck….holy shit they were LOUD. The fucking PA monitors were tied together and the floor was shaking! I was deafened instantly and the actual show wasn’t to start for another two hours. It was beautiful. When they finished their acoustic encore of “Whorehouse Blues” I cheered them enthusiastically along with this 15 year old kid who was with us. Lemmy thanked us and when I yelled out “Lemmy you’re a fuckin’ GOD!!” his reply had me dying. “No no no – God’s a lot taller!”.

Lemmy was a pioneer. His bass tone is undeniable and will most likely NEVER be duplicated. Thanks to him Motorhead was most likely the first ever crossover band bridging the gap between Punk and Metal, they were fast and they were so loud. Even the punks wore Motorhead t shirts and had patches on their vests. If it wasn’t for Lemmy no thrash metal band would EVER exist. This especially goes for Metallica, a band you won’t always see me refer to here. But if there’s one thing I’ll always be grateful to Metallica for it’s introducing us all to Motorhead. If I never bought their covers album Garage, Inc., I would’ve never heard “Overkill”, “Damage Case” or “Stone Dead Forever”. If you were a kid in the 90’s like I was you probably didn’t know who the fuck Motorhead were until you bought that CD – and don’t you lie and say otherwise. Lemmy also wrote amazing songs with other people outside of Motorhead. Remember “Mama I’m Coming Home” by Ozzy? Ozzy just wrote the title, Lemmy wrote all those beautiful lyrics. Just too bad Ozzy and especially $haron decided to shit all over him and just give him a flat rate instead of just royalties.

But more important than any of that….Lemmy NEVER did what other people wanted him to do. He was a trailblazer and when you’re trailblazer you listen to no one. He lived his life on his own terms. No one could drink like him or handle the effects of speed like he could. Even more important than that, no one before or after him kicked ass like he could. Scott Ian said that his death leaves a huge hole that will “never be filled” and he’s absolutely right. It’s also a bit of a financial loss for the Rainbow. Oops.

So in ending this all I can really say is thank you Lemmy. Thank you for the gift of your music. Thank you for the gift of your badass attitude which will NEVER be duplicated. Thank you for Motorhead. Thank you for the influence you’ve had on EVERY true metal musician worth a shit including myself. If you call yourself a metalhead in any way and you aren’t a Motorhead fan you’re just a phony and should go fist yourself while listening to Adele or the faggot bitch who sings “call me on my cellphoooooone” or whatever that shit song is. Your music and your life will NEVER be forgotten Lemmy. I dedicate this song – which was my pre-workout song just yesterday – to you and everything you stand for. Thank you Lemmy!

Ian Fraser Kilmister

December 24th 1945 – December 28th 2015

Confessions of an Angry Metalhead

Tag: Metallica