“Is That A Chick’s Ass????”

Posted on November 1, 2015June 11, 2016 by Mike

You see the guitar in the main picture? Yeah? Now look at the finish closely. All you see is a pink guitar? Look again…closer. See it now? Now, if you’re a guy under twenty you just jizzed yourself. Twice. If you’re over twenty you can’t stop laughing, but you still have control over yourself. You women though….oh, you….the mixed reactions you broads have given this guitar over the years…some of you are obviously offended…yet…some of you actually like it!! Really??? Um…ok!

I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on this thing back in the early spring of 2004, probably the end of March. My old music store, where I was no longer taking lessons at this point, was right next door to my shit job where I was working at the time so I took a visit until I had to go clock in. I looked to my right and immediately saw this…guitar…hanging on the wall. It was a B.C. Rich Bich, the one shape I’ve always wanted ever since I saw old clips of Dave Mustaine using it with Metallica on Megadeth’s VH1 Behind The Music episode three years earlier. But this one was…different…and not just because it was part of B.C. Rich’s Body Art Series either. The pervert in me immediately saw what a lot of people usually need a few looks to see. Holy shit that’s a chick’s ass in a thong! A chick’s ass is the finish of a guitar! What does this say on the tag? “Bich’s Back”? Yeah, I’ll say! Only $300? Hmmmm.

I was told by the store owner’s piece of shit daughter, who I won’t name because she doesn’t deserve the recognition, that there were two other guitars like that but they sold quickly as should’ve been expected. She then said that she arranged for B.C. Rich to recall the last one? Why? “Because I don’t want kids to come in here and see it.” I wish I knew what the big deal is, as far as I know she’s only music store employee I ever knew that would say something that stupid. It’s been more than eleven years since I heard that remark and I still can’t believe I heard it! So fuckin’ what if a kid sees it?? After much debating I asked this dumb bitch when B.C. Rich were supposed to come. “Friday”, she told me. “Yeah? Well call them and tell them to forget it. I’ll be back here when I get paid to put money down on it.”, was my immediate response. I had to get this thing.

The very next Friday I went back there right after I got out of work and used part of my tax return to pay the rest off and this baby was mine! As the store owner’s cunt of a daughter was counting my money she quipped in a pretty serious tone “I think you’re a pervert for buying this!”. Oh I have stories on this twat that could last a whole day’s worth of conversation; but then you’d have to knock me out to shut me up. But who gave a shit? They had $300 of my money since I was no longer taking lessons with them at this point anyway AND I had a guitar that practically screamed sleazy, filthy no condom fucking…with the risk of a few STDs. Twenty four frets for hitting those high notes to make this bich scream, a curvaceous body, that finish! The store’s owner offered to drive me to the mall since I wanted to grab some food before I went home since I didn’t have a car yet; while in his van I asked him if he thought I was a perv like his jackass daughter said I was for buying the guitar. “I think it’s the most macho thing you can buy!”, he quickly responded.

My time in the mall? Oh that was just fantastic! I was given an acoustic guitar case to carry the Bich in because of it’s abnormal shape and when I arrived at the food court to eat I ran into someone and I sadly don’t remember who the guy was. I showed him the guitar and he couldn’t believe the finish on this. At that very moment I was approached by this guy I’ve seen on and off at bus stops in his Fun Station USA work shirt. He had long hair in a pony tail with an under shave and he wanted to let me know that and he and his girlfriend both saw my guitar from across the way and he wanted to tell me he thought it was awesome. That was cool and he seemed like a nice guy. The problem? His girlfriend, who was giving me the death stare right behind him, was this lunatic who I was crazy enough to be friends with not even two years earlier and to say the least I was surprised she was still alive. I actually spotted her crazy ass a month earlier at a show and when I told my dad the next day even his response was “She’s still alive??”. So as much as her boyfriend – and future baby daddy – was cool, I could not wait to brush him off as quickly as I could!

It’s amazing, the kinds of people you can attract just by carrying a guitar. While I was on my way home I was waiting to transfer to my second bus when some homeboy asked to see my guitar. “Yo dat shit is dope!”, he yelled out with a big laugh. Then came this weird looking lady who clearly had to be in her late forties. She saw that I had a B.C. Rich and decided to tell me this story that I still don’t know if I want to believe, in which she saw Metallica with Mustaine on lead guitar at a show. According to her Dave was playing his first B.C. Rich guitar. He hated it so much that at the end of the show he smashed it and one of the wooden shards hit this lady’s neck, cutting it open. She then told me she would force it to stay open for weeks because she wanted to keep the memories. Ok….

The next day I finally plugged it in and I was kind of surprised to hear how weak the pickups actually were. I should’ve known, being that the guitar was kind of a novelty. The solution? Replacing them with EMG 85 and 81 pickups – problem definitely solved! Goddamn this thing was loud after that. I was playing it – and bragged about it – with a sense of pride for years. It just screamed “METAL!!” as far as I was concerned. I used it for years, I mean my next three bands. I saw it as an attention grabber and my ex-guitarist from my first metal band joked that the guitar is the one thing I’d be remembered for. Months before my second band’s debut gig in 2007 I decided the guitar needed a little extra kink if you will, so I went to Rudy’s on 48th St in Manhattan and got myself a Levy’s Leather Strap with chains going right down the middle.

Of course, not everybody liked the guitar. Typical scenario: I’d bring the guitar somewhere, where is irrelevant. I’ll take my guitar out and some woman will notice. “That’s an interesting guitar, bring it over here.” I bring it over. “It’s so interesting that you’d have a pink guitar. Wait…is that…oh…”. Just like that she’s grossed out. In fact the last time I had the guitar set up for it’s final shows in 2013, the female owner of the store I went to, Rustic Music Center, took one look and declared “that’s the funniest and grossest guitar I’ve ever seen” before calling the guys in the place to take a look at the finish. I auditioned for the thrash band Sun Descends in 2005 and when I took the guitar out the lead singer, ex-Exumer vocalist Mem Von Stein, immediately said to me with weariness in his eyes “You have another guitar…right?”

But as I said earlier, some women thought it was amazing, including my brother’s ex-girlfriend as well as girls who worked at my college radio station. Speaking of my brother, one day a friend of his that I used to go to school with gave me a ride to the bus, I think. I had my guitar with me and when my brother told me to show the guitar his wannabe rapper buddy even he yelled out “What??? That’s AWESOME!!” Yeah, the guitar even transcends musical boundaries. At my first ever metal show some dope told me he wanted to have sex with my guitar. My bodybuilder doppelganger and friend Jon has even considered buying one of his own all because of mine!

Since then I’ve been retired from band life. So where’s the guitar been ever since I’ve moved to New Jersey? In the closet because my girlfriend doesn’t want to see it. Oh sure, I’ll take out from time to time. I think I’d like to give it another setup. I do know that if I ever got back into it and began work on the offensive metal project of my dreams there’s no better than my Bich’s Back to get the job done!

Here’s the Bich today:

Iron Maiden Live at Madison Square Garden July 30th, 2003

Posted on September 30, 2015February 16, 2016 by Mike

This was my second concert ever, just a few months after seeing Superjoint Ritual at L’Amour in Brooklyn just two months earlier, but this was my first ever arena concert – and goddamn what a way to start! A few months earlier my cousin Mike asked me if I wanted to see Motorhead, Dio and Iron Maiden at Madison Square Garden in July. Now…I understood Maiden and even Dio playing at the Garden. But Motorhead? Yeah they have such a loyal following but they never held the stature of Maiden in ticket or even album sales. Either way I knew it would be amazing to hear a band THAT LOUD in the Garden. So do I want to go? Um…yeah!

I don’t really remember off the top of my head what my day was like leading into heading out to my cousin’s apartment but I do remember just thinking to myself “holy shit I’m seeing Iron Fucking Maiden tonight!” I’d been a growing fan since my senior year of high school, probably being the only one in my high school that even liked Maiden, or any real metal for that matter. I had heard “The Number Of The Beast” and “Run To The Hills” but once I heard “The Trooper” on WSOU one afternoon I was sold! Then Mike called me to let me know that he’d need an extra $50 when I got to his place because he was able to upgrade our seats and we’d now be right at the second row. How the hell did do that? Well…he wouldn’t tell me. Whatever. So I got to his place in the Superjoint Ritual t-shirt I bought at their L’Amour show, green cargo shorts and my boots, gave him the $50 and to the bus we went.

We got there and the place was the best mix of scalpers and some of the sickest battle jackets I’ve ever seen. When we walked inside my old friend Joe was doing security, and he definitely came in handy later. Motorhead were already playing when Mike and I got to our seats. Come to think of it I now get mixed emotions when thinking of any Motorhead show I’ve seen, mostly because of Lemmy’s health these days. Between him and Keith Richards why the hell is it that Keith was the one that did heroin and he appears to be doing better than Lemmy? Loud? Yeah…ok. Imagine their volume…especially Lemmy’s bass…but now it’s in an arena where you’re now blasting the ears of over 20,000 people. That whole set was an explosion. And from where wee were seated we were right at Lemmy’s side to the stage – the way it should always be! And Mikey Dee’s bassdrums went right through me and my cousin like a second heartbeat. Mike was not really a Motorhead fan but at that moment he definitely got a rush from the sensation of Mikey’s bassdrums. Their set list was filled with songs ranging from their entire catalog, from their biggest songs to their least known. It was my first time hearing their Ramones tribute song, simply called “Ramones”, “Sacrifice”, “Over The Top”, which Lemmy appropriately dedicated to himself, and then I finally heard them play “Overkill”. I’d heard Metallica’s cover of it five years earlier as did everybody else in the world but to hear THEM do it was the single greatest point in the setlist. After they got off stage I almost didn’t care about Maiden!

Dio was next. They were still on tour for their most recent CD, Killing The Dragon, the title track of which they even opened up with. This was to be my first of three times seeing Ronnie James Dio in concert – all three times with my cousin Mike no less! – and my first impression of the guy made me laugh so hard. I mean I never realized how short this guy was, first off. He came out wearing this black silk outfit, I mean black pants flaring out at the bottom and this black short sleeve shirt, decorated with a glitter cross. Now don’t get me wrong, he was amazing! His voice was so powerful on this night, just a few years before being diagnosed with the stomach cancer that eventually took him from us. I still miss him so much. But I know I wasn’t the only one that night wondering if he took dance lessons from a stripper either! In fact when I began my second year in college a little over a month later THAT was what my other friends who were there and I were talking about more so than even the music! He shook his ass and swiveled his hips way too good here.

Craig Goldy was back on guitar, replacing Doug Aldrich who left after Killing The Dragon to join Whitesnake…yeah I was confused about that myself. Why would anyone leave ANY band for Whitesnake?? I sure wouldn’t! Craig was damn good on guitar as he played through this setlist, which Ronnie himself dubbed “Title Track Night”, even though they still brought out “Rainbow In The Dark”. So while we were obviously going to hear “Holy Diver” and “The Last In Line” at some point they band also broke into “Heaven and Hell” to close his set.

Maiden…oh, Maiden. When the time came for the band to come on the lights went out and you almost immediately heard those now-infamous lines from Vincent Price about the number of the beast. We were about halfway through it when nearly everyone in the band minus Bruce Dickinson ran on stage ready to go. I just knew he was behind that crazy ass elaborate stage they had going on, and I predicted he’d probably not show himself until the band kicked in. After Vincent Price finished speaking Dave Murray started chugging away at the beginning of “The Number of The Beast”. You heard Bruce hit that scream….still no sign of him..the next verse kicks in…there he is!! In pure Michael Jackson style he was catapulted from beneath a platform on the stage and right away began jumping down the step with the energy of someone half his age. The whole band are playing away like their lives depended on it and this motherfucker is doing Olympic style hurdles over the onstage monitors while singing and not even screwing up a single note. He was in his mid-forties at this point – show me a younger front man from this time period that could do that shit too!

Oh right – the music! It was a trip hearing THREE guitarists playing an assload of classics originally performed by just two. Right after the first song finished Bruce just yells out in his high pitched wail “THE TROOPEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!” and all three guitarists broke in to the song that made me a Maiden fan for good. Bruce goes away for a minute while the crowd of 20,000 hears Janick, Dave and Adrian pull off a sick three part harmony before he comes back out in an army outfit. NICE! I really wish I could find footage of this show but I can’t because they did a bunch of classics, “Die With Your Boots On”, “Revelations”, “The Clairvoyant” (not one of my favorites). Then Bruce gave a speech about how the band didn’t give a shit about record sales our how we heard their music so long as we heard it, before playing “Wildest Dreams” off of their then-forth coming CD Dance Of Death, telling everyone to take it “…and download it to all your friends!”. Oh Bruce, you funny guy, you. The show ended with the encore, “Run To The Hills”, which I really wanted to do for other reasons when the show was done. But I cane say that this was one of THE best concerts I’ve ever been to.

After the show was done Mike and I waited for my friend Joe to get out so we could go home on the ferry together. I’d love to know how the fuck we wound up walking to the train with this weird looking gay couple, one of the two guys talking to me, randomly switching subjects from why James Hetfield had to go to rehab to how his boyfriend’s family was the cause of his ulcers. Right… While on the train I saw some in shape looking guy with this nasty looking chubby chick with John Lennon’s signature tattooed on the back of her neck. Once we got off the ferry Joe drove us both home, which was a hell of a lot better than possibly taking the bus that late at night. That next morning I felt fuckin’ pumped! I woke up a lot earlier than I should’ve and hit the gym before going to work. Getting of the bus from work I recognized this chick with a John Lennon tattoo on her neck – it was the chubby chick from the train. “You were at the show last night”, I said. So we spoke for a minute until she said the words that made me think she lost her fuckin’ mind: “Motorhead SSSUCKED!” WHAT?!?! Bitch have lost your fuckin’ mind?!?!?! Oh it gets better: “Lemmy looked like he was sucking a dick the way he had his microphone positioned too!”. I have to admit, I did find that part a bit funny…but sucked?? I can happily say I haven’t seen her since!

The Rock Carnival…And The Biggest Parking Lot Fuckjob Ever.

Posted on September 26, 2015October 21, 2015 by Mike

This past Saturday my girlfriend and I went to Day 2 of the three day Rock Carnival put together by WDHA and WRAT at Oak Ridge Park in Clark, NJ. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to go to this because the only bands I’d give a shit about at all were King’s X, Sevendust and especially Black Label Society, hell, Anthrax wouldn’t be playing until the next day and the lineup for that day was shit compared to what we saw the day we went; but Courtenay REALLY wanted to see King’s X and she REALLLYYYYY wanted to see all the food trucks. So we went.

It was a nice day out, especially with it being the last day of summer. First off – I call absolute BULLSHIT on having to pay $20 to park on the field for the day. Second, it looked real nice when we got there; they had a ferris wheel, four stages tents everywhere, a beer garden and of course, food trucks. But the set up was so fucked up and unorganized. We felt like we had to go through a fucking maze to go from one stage to another, or from the beer garden back to the one of the two main stages. Fucking stupid!

The first band that was on when we arrived was this shit emocore band called Bad Case For Big Mouth. Someone should tell them the they a real bad case of playing some really shitty music. I also think anyone with whinny vocals should just chop their balls off. Hell…whoever the first fuckface was who decided it was ok to whine like a bitch should just fucking go and kill himself now – you reading this Morrissey???? So after seeing that shit we ditched their asses immediately to check out the rest of the carnival.

While walking around we saw a tent. The closer we got I remember seeing that Game Changer Wrestling was on the bill. The closer we got after that I noticed someone a little too familiar to me. Yeah…it was Jaka…

My little backstory with him is something I’ll get into another time. The important thing is if I saw him I knew before he even told me that was definitely going to see this guy…

Chris Dickinson…wrestler turned drummer turned wrestler again. I actually played guitar in his very first band but that was about eleven years ago now. Around the time he had gone back to wrestling he and Jaka were feuding but now they’re part of Team Pazuzu and the two of them will actually be wrestling The Steiner Brothers in Manville, NJ on October 16th. Anyway, I decided to stick around to see Chris wrestle since I hadn’t since I was a ring announcer in a no holds barred match he had against Jaka six years ago.

Here’s the match:

I caught him for a few minutes after the match ended before he and the rest of Team Pazuzu had to drive off to Connecticut for another match that night. So we walked around a bit more until 5pm when Skid Row were about to go on. I personally could give two flying fucks about them without Sebastian Bach but Courtenay was curious to see what they sounded like with their brand new singer Tony Harnell, who sadly used to sing for TNT. New Jersey is the band’s home town so the old school crowd that probably saw them in bars turned up for this shit. They were not that bad but dude…their singer was in TNT. Done. Over.

After they got off they were setting up for Sevendust while methhead led Puddle of Mudd were on the other stage – I’m surprised Wes Scantlin even made it out to the gig without getting arrested again! Too bad you still sucked ass. Courtenay, being a towering 5 ft wanted to get as close to the stage as she could before anyone showed up or she knew she wouldn’t be able to see Sevendust, since she could barely see Skid Row; so there we were, standing there, subjecting ourselves to Puddle of Shit until Sevendust were to come on. The most entertaining part of the wait was the way the crowd cheered as Skid Row’s banner was being brought down. Puddle of Meth took FOREVER to finished their lame as fuck set. Of their entire catalog most people only know of one shitty CD and they just dragged it out to death.

Then…a REAL band came on:

Lajon Witherspoon? Corey Glover on steroids. The guy is still a BEAST on the mic, one of the best singers of my generation, criminally underrated. Morgan Rose…I want his drum kit…now. I lost my way with Sevendust for a long time and it’s not their fault. Starting with their 1997 debut – which I have on cassette – they were pretty much lumped in with the nu-metal movement, most likely because of their grooves but in reality they thankfully are nothing like that. Sometime in between songs Lajon decided to talk about how he’ll always be the guy that talks to all the fans and how grateful the band are to us because they’d be doomed without us. When I hear people say things like that I automatically assume they’re just full of shit. Or was he?

After Sevendust finished up I immediately took Courtenay by the hand and rushed us to the other main stage to see Black Label Society. This was going to be the seventh time I saw them and I wasn’t going to miss shit. Zakk Wylde is GOD. There was no one else that night that could play worth a shit compared to Zakk Fucking Wylde, not Slash, not the Skid Row guys, not even Ty Tabor – no one. The band’s set were intense as usual, hell, ever since he got sober the band’s shows have been like religious experiences and this was no exception.

Here are the first two songs:

Considering each band had just fifty minutes to play I found it amusing that Zakk managed to fit a brief solo section into the set. “Now this is just meedly meedly stuff”, said Courtenay. Me? It’s the best meedly meedly you can get here. After we finished watching Zakk pound his chest like Captain Caveman we relaxed a bit before we walked over to the “Birch Hill” stage to see King’s X. No way we were seeing Stephen Pearcy. Fuck him. Fuck him and every single washed up glam rock asshole that was there. But while hanging around I noticed a tent with a bunch of middle aged metalheads raffling off bass drum heads signed by 80’s thrash bands as well as selling some nice rarities. Oh shit is the Old Bridge Metal Militia really back from the dead as a result of mid life crisis? I think so! But I have to admit, it was nice to see them out. No, I didn’t talk to them. I wasn’t even born yet when they were giving Metallica a home when they came to Old Bridge from California. What was I going to say to them??

They even made an attempt at being slightly relevant by making a webpage. Aaawwww! Check them out at http://www.oldbridgemetalmilitia.com

After Ratt’s washed up ex singer finally shut the fuck up we walked to the stage. That’s when I noticed dUg’s bass cabinets and had a real bad Beavis and butthead moment:

Huh huh, hey Beavis, look at the letters on his amps, huh huh.

This was going to be my first time seeing King’s X, what an honor…just too bad Eddie Trunk had to announce them on stage. Ok we get it, you were there for everything that happened…a million years ago. I used to love listening to him but he caters way too much to his age group. The band came on…dUg Pinnick looks really good with a goatee, makes him look a lot younger than 65…it’s good to see Jerry Gaskill still doing this after enduring two heart attacks and the loss of his home to Hurricane Sandy. Ty Tabor is an incredible guitarist and he showed his ability to keep up with dUg and Jerry during some long jams.

As I was filming their set Courtenay pointed out to me the back of someone’s dreadlocked head. “Lordy lordy!!!” he yelled out with a big excited smile as he was talking with other people during the show. It was Lajon Witherspoon; I thought he was just bragging for the sake of image when he spoke about his love for the fans and not being afraid to go out to the crowd but there he was in the flesh. In fact he was standing right next to me at one point and when I said the band were amazing he talked to me about them. Wow. After King’s X ended their AMAZING set I approached Lajon, told him I’d be honored to take a picture with him and Courtenay. “Let’s do it!” was his immediate response. Amazing guy, very down to earth, more people should be like Lajon Witherspoon.

Then there’s that parking lot bullshit. We tried to leave after our selfie with Lajon but it wasn’t happening. In fact there was a line that just didn’t move. At one point Courtenay just parked her car all over again to save gas because we were going nowhere. People were increasingly enraged, drunk, both. So I walked to the nearest parking lot attendant and asked him what the fuck was happening. “None of this would be happening if the police just listened to us.” was his answer so I realized that the police were directing traffic JUST one way. This was absolutely disgraceful. It was over two hours before we finally got the fuck out of there. Hell, my friend Maureen from Brooklyn said fuck it and took car service back to her hotel and left her car in the lot just to avoid the bullshit. I also know there were a lot of complaints the next day and I also know that I’m not going back until WDHA and the Clark Police Department figured out how to safely organize and run an event like this.

The show was nice…just really fucking disorganized from start to finish.

High On Fire – Luminiferous

Posted on June 24, 2015June 29, 2015 by Mike

“High On Fire are gods to a generation of bikers, barbarians and beardos, and luminiferous is one of their finest hours.”

That’s what I saw when I bought High On Fire’s latest album, Luminiferous this past Friday, and for once I might actually agree with Rolling Stone on this one. Just one question: what the fuck is a “beardo”? Is it meant just to describe someone with a big beard? If so then I understand because I saw a few on those when I saw High On Fire at Webster hall back in October 2007. But if it’s meant to say dudes with beards are weird then fuck them because as far as I’m concerned Rolling Stone’s core audience are a bunch of dirt bags who probably don’t even shower. It’s bad enough Rolling Stone as a whole appears to forever be stuck in the 1970s!

I wonder if Matt Pike was looking for irony when he named the band’s new CD Luminiferous because there sure as fuck ins’t that much light being carried through here. I’ll never forget when I first heard the band back in 2004 and decided that this was what Master of Reality-era Black Sabbath would’ve sounded like had Lemmy joined them and sped up the tempos greatly. On Luminiferous it’s probably even MORE intense as it ever was and that especially goes for Blessed Black Wings!

I put this in my car and my ass was immediately kicked by “The Black Plot”. The whole band immediately came in with a great mid tempo chug that quickly turns in to some of the greatest sludge thrash I’ve ever heard from them. Matt Pike as far as I’m concerned is the king of fast paced sludge; his guitar sound is so strong, so heavy, yet you can still hear everything he’s doing. Des Kensel does a fantastic job of keeping up with the riffs. His double bass work and his fills highlight the guitar and bass parts without overshadowing them, which is so important when you’re in a band.

There are some tracks like “The Falconist” where the band show their ability to write solid mid paced songs that may not be as frenzied as what they’re known for but are still heavy as FUCK. I recommend that track alone. I also recommend “The Cave”. Jeff Matz – who I once saw opening up for Motorhead with his old band Zeke, ironically enough – opens up the song with this bassline that offers a brief sense of calm before the rest of the band kicks in and fucks everything up. Since this song alone is nearly eight minutes long I have to say now that I appreciate the fact that the guys are able to keep shit from getting absolutely boring, finding the right spots to changes things up.

Another thing I appreciate is that the band’s recording process hasn’t changed that much. Sure, things sound clearer but matt Pike still appears to be recording his solos live without any backing tracks, which provides so much of a live feel. I’m pretty sure the last time I remembered a band doing that was Pantera starting with Vulgar Display of Power. It actually makes the album sound even heavier in a way. I just found out that High On Fire will be playing The Williamsburg Music Hall in Brooklyn, NY on August 18th. I’m sure I’ll be going!

Morbid Angel: A Death Metal Soap Opera

Posted on June 21, 2015June 21, 2015 by Mike

What a week it’s been for Morbid Angel, because in a matter of just a few days, the band lost…everyone. It all started when founding guitarist Trey Azagtoth announced that bassist/vocalist David Vincent was out of the band and back in the band has non other than Steve Tucker – the very guy who replaced David when he first quit the band back in 1996. Trey even said they were working on new music together. Then came the drama; a few hours later David responded saying his basically had no idea what anyone was talking about and that he never the band or was asked to leave.

But wait, this gets better! With the next two to three days drummer Tim Yeung quit the band, saying he left over financial reasons, which is not too much of a surprise, and then co-guitarist Destructhor (his real name is actually Thor. That is fucking awesome!) announced that he was out because he wanted to go back home to Norway to focus on his other band Myrkskog. What I find funny about this already is that both Tim and Destruthor decided to leave Morbid Angel after their most recent European Tour ended in December 2014. I imagine that they both left because of money and their both too professional to say anything, although according to Destructhor the band wanted to work with someone “more local”. Already sounds a bit fishy.

Then, just two days ago, David reversed his initial statement and announced that he too was in fact out of Morbid Angel. He said that he Trey had a long conversation and they both agreed that they had some “incompatibilities” in regard to them working together any longer. Of all the band departures this is the one that was the lightning rod. David Vincent is the vocalist you hear on those first four classic albums. He left the band in 1996 to join his wife’s bondage themed rock band The Genitorturers. There was some dispute over the creative direction of his last album with them, Domination. David thought at the time that it was sonically their best album to date due to their upgraded production values and the fact that they tried a few new things. Trey, on the other hand, said a few years later that he found the sound on Domination to be so sterile that it pissed him off. He also didn’t like that David wrote all the lyrics this time around and that they strayed very far away from the themes of the previous three albums.

Steve Tucker came in and did three albums with the band and then something happened in 2004. Trey and David started talking again, which led to him doing a few surprise gigs with the band…which led to him rejoining the band altogether due to the positive reaction from the fans. There’s been a bit of controversy ever since the band released their 2011 album, Illud Divinum Insanus, an album so techno sounding that David was given the blame for the musical direction. Hell, look at the guy. Really – look at him, even in the picture on this post! God damn if he doesn’t look like something out of a sex shop or Hot Topic before they were bought by the Gap! Some of you call him David Sixx, which I think is hysterical. Given that along with his Genitorturers past and his big influence on Domination twenty years ago it’s easy to make a martyr out of David.

So I wonder like everybody else what happened because Trey obviously isn’t ready to talk yet. He might never be because he doesn’t like to talk…which is probably why he kept David around – he’s very social, I met him so I know as does anyone else who met the guy. Some people are saying that this is Trey cleaning house and regaining control of his band because David was once again too strong when fighting for creative control. Some are a little bummed that he’s gone again and some are REALLY happy that he’s gone and Steve’s back in. And remember I mentioned David not knowing he was gone? Sounds like Trey didn’t really have the balls to tell him he was gone, kind of like when Warrell Dane of Nevermore discovered through Blabbermouth.net that Jeff Loomis had quit the band. Pretty scummy if you ask me.

So where does Trey Azagtoth go from here? Does he hire all naive rookies in order to pay them less than guys like Destructhor and Tim were already getting? Is Trey ever going to discuss what happened? Is this new album he’s doing with Steve Tucker going to blow Illud Divinum Insanus out of the water? Only time will tell but if Trey ever talks he has a lot of explaining to do because a whole band leaving in or announcing their gone in just a matter of days raises a few red flags. I’ll always be grateful that I got to see Morbid Angel with David Vincent during last year’s Summer Slaughter Tour at Irving Plaza in Manhattan. Great show and no songs from Illud! Here’s a short video I made of the band playing “Fall From Grace” off their second album, Blessed Are The Sick. It’s not even two minutes long though because my phone was dying after a long day out.

Show Me What You’re Made Of

Posted on May 7, 2015May 7, 2015 by Mike

What a ride it’s been for Lamb of God vocalist Randy Blythe over the last few years, huh? He’s been through hell and somehow avoided a lengthy prison sentence for the death of a fan during a concert in Prague back in 2010, having been acquitted in 2013. I know I wasn’t the only the only one to be relieved for him when the news came that he would come home. I personally put the blame on the security guard and the fan himself. I don’t do moshpits but if I were in a Suicidal Tendencies show or a LAMB OF GOD show I sure wouldn’t be drunk because I know I’d have to be VERY aware of all the other jackasses ready to clobber you.

I was well aware of his upcoming prison memoirs Dark Days, set to be released this July, by the time my girlfriend, Courtenay, told me that she was invited to his photography exhibition Show Me What You’re Made Of at Sacred Gallery in Manhattan this past Saturday, May 2nd. Whoa, wait. Randy Blythe? Photography? I already knew that he’s ridiculously intelligent, and I’m so looking forward to buying his book. But taking pictures too?? My girlfriend HATES Lamb of God so much but was so happy that he was able to come home, and was interested in seeing his work. I, of course, LOVE Lamb of God AND was so happy he came home. The kicker? My girlfriend was issued a permanent VIP pass by Kevin Wilson, the manager and defacto owner of Sacred Tattoo and Sacred Gallery, and therefore we could get in an hour ahead of everyone else. Of course we were going!

While waiting on line that night we met a college kid named Alexander, very nice…very talkative. Well, either that or he was trying to avoid the two seventeen year old dumb fucks in front of him on the line. In fact if you check out Metal Injection’s coverage of the exhibition you’ll see they even interviewed him during the halfway point of the story. I just wonder if when the reporter was trying to go somewhere else this guy still wasn’t done talking!

Around 7pm we were able to go in for a private viewing thanks to Coutenay’s VIP pass and need less to say I was absolutely blown the fuck away. He’s a natural! Randy has been apparently taking pictures for years, maybe a year or two before the Prague incident; he found the time to explore the surroundings of whatever city or country he might’ve been in a the time and just capture some breathtaking shots. Not to blow smoke up the guy’s ass but he definitely has a knack for timing, which is all too important when you shoot moving images.

Notice that the frames are a little…old looking? A little beaten up? Maybe…even old as fuck…like it was a piece of something else a long time ago? Well, you’d be right! These frames are courtesy of Frames by Greta. Greta Brinkman, a carpenter turned frame builder takes old pieces of wood and turns them in to picture frames of all sizes – rather than just throwing them out. She also happens to play bass for stoner metal band Druglord from Richmond, Virginia – Randy’s hometown.

I actually spoke to Randy for a few minutes and I tried to get him to explain to me how he edits his shit because it was so good and he told me that there was no real editing involved. Most people would yell “arrogant prick!” but he didn’t come off to me that way at all. I was almost offended again when he just ditched me but I understood he was getting pulled away because some couple bought a picture. While there I ran into my friends Jimmy and Peter Pallis, the singer and guitarist from Brooklyn based metal band Anaka. If you’re in the NYC at all you should check them out when they play the Gramercy Theater on Saturday, June 27th.

…and just like that you now know what I look like. Don’t get any ideas.

Everything was cool until some lanky 6 foot 8 fucktard arrived. I had a feeling he looked familiar, especially after everyone sitting on the couch next to mine began taking pictures on their cellphones. Then I heard him talking – loud as fuck – like some surfer stoner shithead with this gay looking red hat and this long, doofy looking jacket. My first reaction: “This motherfucker’s still alive?!” Remember Jesse Camp everybody?? The first MTV I Wanna Be A VJ contest winner from 1998? This was him and man he looks like SHIT.

He turned his head as my camera was taking the shot but he looks a lot older than 35. Drugs are a bitch, eh? But aside from that he was acting the same, talking the same, the STOOPID hand motions. Oh yeah. He was doing a video on the exhibition and he was interviewing Acey Slade, who was the DJ for the night. I’m not a fan of anything Acey played that night but man it was way better than ANY of the bands he’s ever played in.

I tried to get a picture with Randy before Courtenay and I left when I noticed a funny scene where someone trying to take a picture with Randy couldn’t get the camera to work. I found it so amusing I even made a video of it:

This video was taken right before I finally got a picture in with him. Funny guy. I went for the selfie pose when Randy decided “Ok that’s way too close. Here!” He then takes the phone from me, reaches as far back as he could with his lanky ass arms and takes a really good picture. “And…walla! There’s your picture!”, he said before he went off to take more pics. The smart ass style of the way he said almost pissed me off – again. But then I remembered “Oh wait! I probably would’ve done the same thing!”. That Randy, funny guy.

Workout Song of the Day

Posted on April 25, 2015 by Mike

This will drive anyone to lift heavy or just fight some guy and just not stop – even if several cops are trying to rip you off the guy you’re beating the shit out of! Ironically this is also the very first Testament song I ever heard back when I was in high school. Metal. As. Fuck. \m/\m/!!!!

Angel Vivaldi Live at Dingbatz

Posted on April 22, 2015April 22, 2015 by Mike

See this guy? Nice guitar! Also looks metro as FUCK, right? I would know. The night I met him he pointed at my forehead and told me “You have great eyebrows!” Well, for those of you who haven’t a clue who he is – because I sure as fuck had no idea until last summer/fall – this is former VeXt and Black Market Hero guitarist, 7 string guitar GOD and current YouTube sensation Angel Vivaldi and he can bury you and even every single one of your idols on guitar. As I said, I had no idea who he was until last summer when I met my girlfriend…who happens to be this guy’s best friend. So of course I learned a lot about the guy. All there really is to know though is the guy’s is absolutely IN-FUCKIN’-CREDIBLE! His aggression and his attitude on the guitar are unmatched. His creativity as a songwriter and as a soloist? Second to none. Below is the link to his latest music video from his latest album released late last year, Away With Words Part 1:

So this past Saturday Courtenay and I went to go see him play at Dingbatz in Clifton, NJ, during an all day festival, where he was playing a makeup gig since he injured his hand a few months back. We both showed up a minute or two apart from each other by chance and as soon as he saw me, “Eyebrows!”, he proclaimed before hugging me a tad too intently. Okay…

I had to take a picture of the Deception Theory sticker on the wall there. I used to work at Home Depot with their drummer, very awesome guy. I wonder how he’s doing.

I was starving so before we went inside we went to Dingo’s across the street. I’d say it’s like what Lucky 13’s was before they were able to relocate and feature bands again, a cool rock themed bar.

I’ve just got to hear what these guys sounded like!

So after leaving during one real shitty band we came back in time for an instrumental metal band called Oraculum. We saw them the last time we were there when they were filling in for Angel after his injury. They were ok when I first saw them but this time they were better, especially their lead guitarist. All that his millions of solos need is the attitude to go with the speed and aggression that’s already there and he’ll be going places.

And while they were on we caught this hipster looking fuckface.

This guy’s dumb head was constantly getting in the way once I began filming Angel’s set and I wanted to choke him so fucking badly.

Anyway, Angel Vivaldi had a one hour set. One hour. To obliterate everyone who went one before him. Here are the opening two songs from the set:

I do apologize for the sound quality. I hope to get a real camcorder soon so I don’t have to use the phone anymore.

The most people showed up just to see him, I know it, because I didn’t see a lot of people when I came in. Also, it was so nice out that unless Alice In Chains were playing a secret show at this place I doubt many people would have been there for anything. Just a year or two back no one would’ve given a shit about Angel Vivaldi or how hard he worked to get where he is and now he’s about to go on tour for his latest album. His entire band were so on point, so tight, so badass. Jake Skylyr had this amazing looking Carvin double neck 6 string bass, one neck with frets the other without. His single neck bass is the reason I couldn’t post my other video. That shit just ROARED over the whole band! Also, Bill Fore is a BEAST of a drummer. I swear he could play any style of metal…I’m pretty sure I heard them all that night. Jason Tarantino is an awesome guitarist, very capable of keeping up with Angel. I also heard him rip a few licks of his own that surely kicked my ass.

It was an awesome show and if he ever comes to your town I’d totally recommend you get your asses down to wherever he and his band are playing. I see nothing but a bright future for him.

As we were leaving I had to take this picture. As I was getting my phone ready some jackass opened the door, hit my head and had the dumbest look on his fuckin’ stupid face when asking me if I was ok before walking away like a retard. Some people are just dumb motherfuckers.

Here are some links to Angel’s music:

http://www.youtube.com/user/AngelVivaldi

http://www.facebook.com/angelvivaldi

http://www.angevivaldi.bigcartel.com

Confessions of an Angry Metalhead

Tag: Aggression