Five Years Gone

Posted on May 16, 2015September 12, 2016 by Mike

Has it really been five years, man? Five years since we lost you, the great Ronnie James Dio?? I sadly still remember it like it was yesterday, the day my friend over a Comic Book Jones gave me the news… “Dude, Dio died today” “Dude don’t lie to me like that!” and then he turned about the computer so I could see the Blabbermouth report for myself. I’ll never forget how sad I was at that very moment; and I’m still a bit sad any time I listen to your stuff Ronnie.

The first time I ever heard of you or saw you was a parody on South Park back in 1998. But it was over 2 years later when I heard you singing “Neon Knights” with Black Sabbath that I became hooked. Man did you have a set of pipes on you or what?? I wanted more and I eventually bought the entire Heaven and Hell album. It was then that I discovered that you pretty much were responsible for pretty much all of Metal’s fantastical themes: the dragons, the medieval themes of knights and kings, and of course…rainbows,a recurring theme from your days in the band Rainbow – thank you for ditching Blackmore’s dumb ass by the way!

Then there’s one more important piece of the puzzle you gave us – the horns. So much debate on who first used them, the origins of them with some people suggesting they were first used in India in the 14th century…India. There’s even debate on who used them on stage first. According to what you said your grandmother used to do that to “ward off the Evil Eye or to give the Evil Eye”, of course depending on how you do it. But regardless of who did what first it was ultimately you who made something so seemingly evil such a popular staple at shows everywhere – I know I’m not the only one and for that I thank you!

But I can’t finish this without talking about Dio the MUSICIAN. Oh yeah, until I bought your first solo album, Holy Diver, I was unaware of your ability to write more than just lyrics. Just listening to “Stand Up And Shout” I was instantly blown away at the fresh feeling of the song, the speed, the aggression(!!), the attitude, Vivian Campbell’s intense, frenzied solo. It was a pure breath of fresh air, a nice kick in the balls that almost made the three CDs you did with Sabbath sounds almost tame! There was also that voice, again. You could do anything with your voice and it’d sound amazing; you could sing softly, yell with power, snarl, growl, scream – you could do it all!

I’ll have to admit though, you were a bit funny when I saw you perform live for the first time. It was 2003 and you along with Motorhead were opening up for Iron Maiden at Madison Square Garden – what a bill! You came out and your pipes were in full power that night bro, and I was at 2nd row for this. But, Ronnie, dude, the way you moved on stage that night in your silk pants and shirt with your glitter cross, I wasn’t sure if I was watching Dio or a stripper! But I couldn’t make to many jokes, you killed it that night.

I saw you two more times years later with Heaven and Hell (bullshit. This will always be Black Sabbath!) at Radio City in 2007 and a year later at Metal Masters in New Jersey. If someone told me that that New Jersey show was to be the last time I ever saw you I’d tell them to eat shit and die but sadly that was the case. How empty the world seems without you Ronnie. You were truly one of a kind as a vocalist. But more than even that you were the total package as a frontman and a musician. Also, by most accounts you were also one of the coolest guys ever.

Here’s a quick story. My friend Rick called me up to tell me that his girlfriend, of all people, had been approached by you, Tony, Geezer and Vinny at a deli across the street from Vintage Vinyl, were I guess you all were doing a signing for The Devil You Know. I think you guys actually talked to her because she was the only one who wasn’t running after you guys. According to Rick as soon as you all finally said goodbye to her several girls ran to her asking her if she realized who she just spoke to and when they told her she frantically called Rick right away – and of course Rick called me right away!

Thank you Ronnie, for the impact you left on the Metal community, on several aspiring singers, and on me. There will never be anyone like you again; but I’d like to think that one day soon someone will come along with a passion of metal the at least matches yours. I’m going to leave off here with one of my favorite deep cuts from Holy Diver, because playing that title track alone would be too predictable. Rest in Peace Ronnie, and thank you again. \m/\m/

Show Me What You’re Made Of

Posted on May 7, 2015May 7, 2015 by Mike

What a ride it’s been for Lamb of God vocalist Randy Blythe over the last few years, huh? He’s been through hell and somehow avoided a lengthy prison sentence for the death of a fan during a concert in Prague back in 2010, having been acquitted in 2013. I know I wasn’t the only the only one to be relieved for him when the news came that he would come home. I personally put the blame on the security guard and the fan himself. I don’t do moshpits but if I were in a Suicidal Tendencies show or a LAMB OF GOD show I sure wouldn’t be drunk because I know I’d have to be VERY aware of all the other jackasses ready to clobber you.

I was well aware of his upcoming prison memoirs Dark Days, set to be released this July, by the time my girlfriend, Courtenay, told me that she was invited to his photography exhibition Show Me What You’re Made Of at Sacred Gallery in Manhattan this past Saturday, May 2nd. Whoa, wait. Randy Blythe? Photography? I already knew that he’s ridiculously intelligent, and I’m so looking forward to buying his book. But taking pictures too?? My girlfriend HATES Lamb of God so much but was so happy that he was able to come home, and was interested in seeing his work. I, of course, LOVE Lamb of God AND was so happy he came home. The kicker? My girlfriend was issued a permanent VIP pass by Kevin Wilson, the manager and defacto owner of Sacred Tattoo and Sacred Gallery, and therefore we could get in an hour ahead of everyone else. Of course we were going!

While waiting on line that night we met a college kid named Alexander, very nice…very talkative. Well, either that or he was trying to avoid the two seventeen year old dumb fucks in front of him on the line. In fact if you check out Metal Injection’s coverage of the exhibition you’ll see they even interviewed him during the halfway point of the story. I just wonder if when the reporter was trying to go somewhere else this guy still wasn’t done talking!

Around 7pm we were able to go in for a private viewing thanks to Coutenay’s VIP pass and need less to say I was absolutely blown the fuck away. He’s a natural! Randy has been apparently taking pictures for years, maybe a year or two before the Prague incident; he found the time to explore the surroundings of whatever city or country he might’ve been in a the time and just capture some breathtaking shots. Not to blow smoke up the guy’s ass but he definitely has a knack for timing, which is all too important when you shoot moving images.

Notice that the frames are a little…old looking? A little beaten up? Maybe…even old as fuck…like it was a piece of something else a long time ago? Well, you’d be right! These frames are courtesy of Frames by Greta. Greta Brinkman, a carpenter turned frame builder takes old pieces of wood and turns them in to picture frames of all sizes – rather than just throwing them out. She also happens to play bass for stoner metal band Druglord from Richmond, Virginia – Randy’s hometown.

I actually spoke to Randy for a few minutes and I tried to get him to explain to me how he edits his shit because it was so good and he told me that there was no real editing involved. Most people would yell “arrogant prick!” but he didn’t come off to me that way at all. I was almost offended again when he just ditched me but I understood he was getting pulled away because some couple bought a picture. While there I ran into my friends Jimmy and Peter Pallis, the singer and guitarist from Brooklyn based metal band Anaka. If you’re in the NYC at all you should check them out when they play the Gramercy Theater on Saturday, June 27th.

…and just like that you now know what I look like. Don’t get any ideas.

Everything was cool until some lanky 6 foot 8 fucktard arrived. I had a feeling he looked familiar, especially after everyone sitting on the couch next to mine began taking pictures on their cellphones. Then I heard him talking – loud as fuck – like some surfer stoner shithead with this gay looking red hat and this long, doofy looking jacket. My first reaction: “This motherfucker’s still alive?!” Remember Jesse Camp everybody?? The first MTV I Wanna Be A VJ contest winner from 1998? This was him and man he looks like SHIT.

He turned his head as my camera was taking the shot but he looks a lot older than 35. Drugs are a bitch, eh? But aside from that he was acting the same, talking the same, the STOOPID hand motions. Oh yeah. He was doing a video on the exhibition and he was interviewing Acey Slade, who was the DJ for the night. I’m not a fan of anything Acey played that night but man it was way better than ANY of the bands he’s ever played in.

I tried to get a picture with Randy before Courtenay and I left when I noticed a funny scene where someone trying to take a picture with Randy couldn’t get the camera to work. I found it so amusing I even made a video of it:

This video was taken right before I finally got a picture in with him. Funny guy. I went for the selfie pose when Randy decided “Ok that’s way too close. Here!” He then takes the phone from me, reaches as far back as he could with his lanky ass arms and takes a really good picture. “And…walla! There’s your picture!”, he said before he went off to take more pics. The smart ass style of the way he said almost pissed me off – again. But then I remembered “Oh wait! I probably would’ve done the same thing!”. That Randy, funny guy.

“Jeff Would Want This!”

Posted on April 30, 2015May 22, 2015 by Mike

…really guys? Because I don’t! There’s a lot I can say about the latest Metal Hammer. I can talk about Kerry and Tom’s take on the Dave Lombardo situation, the fact that this really isn’t the first time Paul Bostaph was in the band, the fact that Gary Holt is pretty much a Slayer member at this point.

But all I really care about is that stupid quote on the cover of the mag. Why? Because I don’t know about you but I’m not looking forward to a whole album written by Kerry King, no fucking way. And I know I’m not the only one either!

Jeff Hanneman, Slayer’s fallen guitarist – I still miss him so much! – was the guy that kept Slayer raw as FUCK. You knew damn well when a song was written by him because it was usually so fucked up. HIs shit was real; it came from inside because, unlike Kerry, he wasn’t listening to bullshit nu-metal or trying to fit in with what might’ve been popular, especially in the early 2000’s. He also came from a family of war veterans which meant A. He knew exactly what he was writing about at all times and B. He was able to write about more than just blood and death.

Jeff’s punk rock background also gave him that ability to write music without limitations. His solos are way more off the cuff than Kerry’s ever were. I’ve yet to hear another guitarist solo off key and make it fit the song perfectly – but Jeff could do it. Oh, and back to the brutality thing, Jeff has a major one-up on Kerry – he wrote “Angel of Death”, one of the most brutal and fucked up songs off all time. Kerry could never get the band in as much trouble as Jeff did with THAT song but hey, there’s no such thing as bad publicity when you’re in Slayer. Jeff also wrote some of Slayer’s most memorable songs: “War Ensemble”, “Dead Skin Mask”, “South of Heaven””Postmortem”, “Raining Blood” – the starter for every pit….ever.

I mean no disrespect to Gary Holt but Slayer should just call it a day. They’ve accomplished more than they could’ve ever dreamed of as band with songs like “Necrophiliac”, but Kerry writing the whole thing already makes the upcoming album sound so one dimensional to me. Gary obviously had no input in this – and he shouldn’t. When Jeff died the band lost it’s raw edge, that let it loose spirit. Some of you might say that about Dave Lombardo being out again but this article isn’t about him because he left the band once before and he’s still breathing. Even my friend Idrees, the biggest Slayer fanboy you’ll EVER know finally saw the light, telling me this past December that even HE made peace with the fact the Slayer are done. Oh, and you’ll read more about that guy soon.

Anyway, I don’t know about you but as far as I’m concerned, I feel like Tom Araya and especially Kerry are just keeping the band alive for no other reason but to keep cash flowing. I don’t know why Kerry doesn’t try the side project he said he always wanted to do with Zakk Wylde. Kerry, you guys are toast, just let it go. Here’s how I’ll always remember Slayer…with a Jeff song:

RIP Jeff Hanneman 1964 – 2013

Workout Song of the Day

Posted on April 25, 2015 by Mike

This will drive anyone to lift heavy or just fight some guy and just not stop – even if several cops are trying to rip you off the guy you’re beating the shit out of! Ironically this is also the very first Testament song I ever heard back when I was in high school. Metal. As. Fuck. \m/\m/!!!!

Angel Vivaldi Live at Dingbatz

Posted on April 22, 2015April 22, 2015 by Mike

See this guy? Nice guitar! Also looks metro as FUCK, right? I would know. The night I met him he pointed at my forehead and told me “You have great eyebrows!” Well, for those of you who haven’t a clue who he is – because I sure as fuck had no idea until last summer/fall – this is former VeXt and Black Market Hero guitarist, 7 string guitar GOD and current YouTube sensation Angel Vivaldi and he can bury you and even every single one of your idols on guitar. As I said, I had no idea who he was until last summer when I met my girlfriend…who happens to be this guy’s best friend. So of course I learned a lot about the guy. All there really is to know though is the guy’s is absolutely IN-FUCKIN’-CREDIBLE! His aggression and his attitude on the guitar are unmatched. His creativity as a songwriter and as a soloist? Second to none. Below is the link to his latest music video from his latest album released late last year, Away With Words Part 1:

So this past Saturday Courtenay and I went to go see him play at Dingbatz in Clifton, NJ, during an all day festival, where he was playing a makeup gig since he injured his hand a few months back. We both showed up a minute or two apart from each other by chance and as soon as he saw me, “Eyebrows!”, he proclaimed before hugging me a tad too intently. Okay…

I had to take a picture of the Deception Theory sticker on the wall there. I used to work at Home Depot with their drummer, very awesome guy. I wonder how he’s doing.

I was starving so before we went inside we went to Dingo’s across the street. I’d say it’s like what Lucky 13’s was before they were able to relocate and feature bands again, a cool rock themed bar.

I’ve just got to hear what these guys sounded like!

So after leaving during one real shitty band we came back in time for an instrumental metal band called Oraculum. We saw them the last time we were there when they were filling in for Angel after his injury. They were ok when I first saw them but this time they were better, especially their lead guitarist. All that his millions of solos need is the attitude to go with the speed and aggression that’s already there and he’ll be going places.

And while they were on we caught this hipster looking fuckface.

This guy’s dumb head was constantly getting in the way once I began filming Angel’s set and I wanted to choke him so fucking badly.

Anyway, Angel Vivaldi had a one hour set. One hour. To obliterate everyone who went one before him. Here are the opening two songs from the set:

I do apologize for the sound quality. I hope to get a real camcorder soon so I don’t have to use the phone anymore.

The most people showed up just to see him, I know it, because I didn’t see a lot of people when I came in. Also, it was so nice out that unless Alice In Chains were playing a secret show at this place I doubt many people would have been there for anything. Just a year or two back no one would’ve given a shit about Angel Vivaldi or how hard he worked to get where he is and now he’s about to go on tour for his latest album. His entire band were so on point, so tight, so badass. Jake Skylyr had this amazing looking Carvin double neck 6 string bass, one neck with frets the other without. His single neck bass is the reason I couldn’t post my other video. That shit just ROARED over the whole band! Also, Bill Fore is a BEAST of a drummer. I swear he could play any style of metal…I’m pretty sure I heard them all that night. Jason Tarantino is an awesome guitarist, very capable of keeping up with Angel. I also heard him rip a few licks of his own that surely kicked my ass.

It was an awesome show and if he ever comes to your town I’d totally recommend you get your asses down to wherever he and his band are playing. I see nothing but a bright future for him.

As we were leaving I had to take this picture. As I was getting my phone ready some jackass opened the door, hit my head and had the dumbest look on his fuckin’ stupid face when asking me if I was ok before walking away like a retard. Some people are just dumb motherfuckers.

Here are some links to Angel’s music:

http://www.youtube.com/user/AngelVivaldi

http://www.facebook.com/angelvivaldi

http://www.angevivaldi.bigcartel.com

My Thoughts on the Nick Menza Situation

Posted on April 12, 2015April 14, 2015 by Mike

I read about this when the news broke but I was away in Kentucky with my girlfriend so I had no time to write about this. Just a few days ago former Megadeth drummer Nick Menza finally broke his silence regarding the constant rumors that he and former guitarist Marty Friedman were rejoining Megadeth following the sudden departures of Shawn Drover and Chris Broderick not too long ago. What he had to say was not too surprising but still a bit disappointing; but I’m not disappointed at Nick at all. To save some time I’ll make this as quick as I can.

Not long after Shawn and Chris bounced on the two Daves, Justis Mustaine, Dave Mustaine’s son, posted a video of David Ellefson jamming out on “Rust in Peace…Polaris” with a drummer, but was careful not to show his face. It sounded too good to be anyone else but Nick Menza so the rumor mill began. To fuel the fire more any time the two Daves or even Nick himself were approached on the subject neither one of them gave a straight answer. So we were all a tad saddened to learn that Mustaine had hired Lamb of God drummer Chris Adler to play drums for the next album. Should be interesting to hear, don’t get me wrong, I’m a Lamb of God fan and that band is HUGELY influenced by Megadeth.

Then came Nick’s statement. First off he revealed that he was in fact the headless drummer in Justis’ video. Well, duh!! I mean come on, who else would that be? No one can play the way Nick does! As I said before, it was too good to be anyone else! He also revealed that he also recorded a few drum tracks for the upcoming album and he even had dinner with the two Daves, their ex-manager, Ron Laffitte, and even Marty Friedman. Sounds good right? Well apparently not. As soon as Nick got home he decided it was time to talk writing credits. This is where shit gets dicey because at the end of the day this is the music business. Sometimes agreements get worked out, sometimes they don’t.

According to Nick he received a “very unfair deal that is so wrong”, basically insinuating that Mustaine was going to give him pennies, in comparison to what he alone must make off royalties. When he tried to renegotiated with Mustaine he apparently blocked Nick’s e-mails, changed his number and even fired Ron as their manager for the second time. I don’t know about you but that last part sounds a bit extreme to me. No?

But then Nick said the one thing that once again makes him come off as the better man yet again:

“Despite this dark final chapter, I wish MEGADETH the heartiest of health, happiness and success with their future plans.”

Boom! Done! Here’s the thing – this is not the first time that this has happened to Nick and neither is this the first time Nick acted as the better man. During his time as the youngest member of Megadeth during their most successful years, he was seen as immature, and was pulling hi-jinks that the other members had naturally grown out of. But as life has shown – people do change. A while back Nick spotted Dave Mustaine at NAMM and decided to approach him like a man. Dave decided to brush him off. Nick was surely a tad hurt but he still wished Dave the best, making him the better man and showing that he did in fact grow up. Hell, I know I’d be cursing his ass out if I were put in that position.

So honestly, I gained a bit more respect for Nick. He got screwed by a guy he spent the best years of his career with and instead of going online and being bitter about it he was the better man. And he would’ve totally been justified to be bitter. Who changes their number just to avoid a guy that wants to talk?? A bitch – that’s who! I had a lot of respect for Dave Mustaine. I grew up worshiping the ground he walked on. His music – back when his shit hit a nerve with people – made such a HUGE impact on my guitar style and my life as a whole. I’ve witnessed him seemingly losing his mind over the last few years but this is just pathetic, so low it’s even beneath him. Over royalties? Really? There are other reasons to change your number to avoid someone, not over something so fucking petty.

I’d like to wish Nick Menza the best. I’m excited to hear his new project with James LoMenzo and Chris fucking Poland!! I sadly can’t say the same about Megadeth. They lost it a long time ago but Mustaine lost a little personal integrity now as well. I just wish David Ellefson could see the light, get out again and stay out this time for his own sanity.

Final Thoughts…

Unrelated to the whole Nick Menza situation; I’d like to express my relief in also hearing recently that not only did Black Sabbath pull out of their Ozzfest Japan shows in November, but apparently it was never to be their farewell. Sharon Osbourne seemingly forgot to mention that it would’ve just been their last Japan show. It was kind of odd since the band does want to do one last album and a farewell tour. Maybe the tour will end at home like I said they should do. Who knows?

My First Taste of Pure Evil in Music

Posted on March 31, 2015August 3, 2023 by Mike

So, in the spirit of my recent rant on Black Sabbath’s final concert announcement, I couldn’t help recently but begin reminiscing about my first true taste of them…and that would obviously be their second album, Paranoid, released originally in 1970. What an eye opener that was – and not just because the picture of the colorful looking, sword welding soldier on the cover made me think I was buying the soundtrack to some early 70’s low budget sci-fi movie!

I first heard of Ozzy Osbourne when he released Ozzmosis in 1995. I was 11 at the time and MTV News did a story on him and then a week later I saw his video for “Perry Mason”. But it was two years later, when I somehow joined the “rocker clique” in my school, that my friend Elan Bochbot educated me on Ozzy’s beginnings. What was ironic was this now was the year that Black Sabbath were to reunite (I think without Bill Ward) to headline Ozzfest. But it wasn’t until a year later that I finally bought my first Sabbath CD – and this was AFTER I bought Blizzard of Ozz so I think you can imagine how thrown off I was bound to be when comparing Randy Rhoads’s playing to Tony Iommi’s!

Oh, I also had an obstacle or two when listening to Paranoid. I was living with my dad when I got it back in the summer of 1998 and I didn’t have a radio in that bedroom so all I had was some shit CD walkman. Yeah, about that shit walkman; it was so shitty that for whatever reason it would not read the CD. And if it did read the CD I had to make sure not to skip tracks because it wouldn’t read and the fucking CD would just spin around aimlessly. You can’t make this shit up!

Now for the music! The first time my shitty CD player was able to read the CD I was smacked in the back of the head by the first low E strum and slow as fuck groove of “War Pigs”. That groove, the unusual way Tony Iommi played his guitar – a far cry from Randy Rhoads and “I Don’t Know” for sure! – Geezer Butler’s walking bassline, Bill Ward’s loose drumming. Those sirens!! I already couldn’t help but anticipate what was to happen next because I knew it’d be a while before my CD player would be able to do this again!

Then it got quiet, all you could hear was Bill’s hi-hat. Then it came. “Generals gathered in their masseeeeeess!” Whoa! Is that really Ozzy? Is that the same guy that I just heard a month earlier singing “Crazy Train”? Oh yeah it was. But this was a much rawer Ozzy. At that moment I understood that this was going to be nothing like those other two Ozzy CD’s I had. This shit was going to be fucking RAW. This would be the first time I wouldn’t hear a rhythm guitar track during any solos, this would be the first time I’d hear the guitar and bass intertwining together as one, swinging drums in a much more aggressive environment. I was listening to the origins of Heavy Metal – and it sounded pretty jazzy.

After being blown away by “War Pigs” “Paranoid” came next. This is one of the simpler songs on the CD. It’s perfect. Short, fast paced, the lyrics fit perfectly and that gnarly, dissonant solo totally fucked with my head. I can listen to it now and I can’t help but imagine the face of a crazy person. “Planet Caravan”, the lone mellow track here. This one threw me off for sure, especially with Ozzy’s voice going through a rotating speaker, which I wasn’t aware of at the time. I didn’t even think it was him! As he creepily spoke about sailing “through endless skies” as “stars shine like eyes”, I felt like I was watching a cartoon, and in it all four guys in the band when on some boat riding through space, then as Tony played the ending solo the four of them faded away in to the darkness. As it turns out my interpretation of the song wasn’t too far off from what Geezer had in mind after all. What makes me laugh is my rap loving brother heard this song the one time my dad let me play it in his truck and decided “You’re a poser and I’m gonna tell all ya friends!”. Yeah…good luck there buddy.

Then came that bass drum, then came the bending E string…”I am Iron Man!”. This was just fun as hell because while this wasn’t based on the comic book I read comics so this is another song where I couldn’t help but see a cartoon going on in my head, regardless that it turned out to be the ultimate rejection song and the same goes for “Electric Funeral ” too! But Tony’s use of the wah pedal on “Electric Funeral” made the riff that much more fucked up sounding and I loved it.

“Hand of Doom”, that is just pure groove. I wasn’t ready for that yet but I totally appreciate it now, especially when I gets faster in the middle before slowing down again. It’s an exercise in jazz improv, but of course as evil as they could get. Same thing goes for “Jack the Stripper/Fairies Wear Boots”. Upon my first several listens the lyrics made absolutely no sense at all. I didn’t think they were supposed to because I knew everybody and their mother did drugs like there was no tomorrow back then but later on I discovered the meaning behind it. But Geezer, I’m sure that not all skinheads are afraid to fight bud – you just got lucky that night!

The album, or at least my version of it, ends with “Rat Salad”, or as I like to call it, the Bill Ward Special! He is such an underrated drummer. He was to Black Sabbath what Ringo was to the Beatles. He had rhythm but he could swing to and it added such flavor to the groove. But unlike Ringo he could do drum solos. Was this John Bonham? No. But it fit perfectly with the tune.

And just like that not only was it over but I’d probably have to wait a while before the stupid CD player could read the CD again. This was nothing like what I was listening to at the time. Ozzy’s voice was raw and nasal as hell throughout the whole thing. Tony’s guitar playing was primitive but he undeniably had such a huge sound and I could finally see where so many guys stole their tricks from – myself included. It was filed with anger, it was dark, gloomy, nothing flashy or shrederrific about him. What you heard was what you got but it was real and you FELT IT. Geezer turned out to be such a player on that bass and Bill was more than an anchor. He was the perfect jazz drummer – he knew when to keep it tight but he also knew when to let it fly.

In the end it was the perfect historical piece for metal historians, not just because of the music. The artwork, the lyrical imagery, the themes of war, rejection, mental illness and again, how raw it all is. Paranoid will always be the perfect introduction to the band that started it all. I knew I was hooked and I wanted more. Now. Yesterday. Then I found Master of Reality, which I consider to be THE heaviest album of all time. But that’s another story.

Humanity…what a joke…

Posted on March 30, 2015March 30, 2015 by Mike

This past Thursday a gas related explosion in a Manhattan restaurant demolished an entire building on the corner of 2nd Ave and St. Mark’s Pl, an area I used to hang out in a lot during my college days. As a result several people, including actress Drea Di Matteo, have lost there homes and many of them, of course not including Drea, are going to have a real hard time picking up the pieces. Businesses are destroyed, homes are lost, and as of today, two bodies have been found.

Yet a few pieces of shit decided this had to have been a great time to take a selfie. Right? Right?? Any takers??? This is why I hate people and this is also how I know that even I have some standards. Who out there with COMMON SENSE would take a selfie in front of a burning building where several lives have been destroyed? I don’t want to compare this to a terrorist attack but since the building in question did collapse, if these assholes took a selfie when the World Trade Center was hit nearly fourteen years ago they would’ve paid dearly for it without question! Is it just me or shouldn’t these pieces of shit be punished for this? Am I out of line? Who the fuck are they to make light of something so tragic?? I’m not one to talk about poor taste but not only was what they did in poor taste but it’s just wrong in every way. I also don’t feel like these pieces of shit are truly being held accountable for this and it’s about time they are. I hope to hear something about this happening soon.

$haron ruins everything…again.

Posted on March 28, 2015March 30, 2015 by Mike

Over this past week Sharon Osbourne proved once again why she’s an out of touch, clueless, money hungry piece of shit. Five days ago she released a short promotional video announcing that Black Sabbath will be playing their final show when Ozzfest goes to Japan in November. There’s a lot wrong with this picture already.

Now before I go into that I’d like to quickly acknowledge that just maybe this was a decision made by Tony. The poor guy’s been fighting Lymphoma for three years now and I’m sure that it’s got to be taking it’s toll on him lately, especially when you factor in the touring schedule, how often he has to fly back home for treatments, and of course, the man is 67 years old. Therefore, I have no choice to respect that, that is if this was his decision. He’s the godfather of Heavy Metal – no one else can say that, I don’t care what anyone thinks. Without the sound HE created there is no Heavy Metal and he deserves all the respect in the world. I’ll forever be grateful to Tony Iommi. He was one of my biggest inspirations as a guitar player because he was and is as real as it gets.

Now for what I hate about this! It all boils down to the fact that their final show is to be at the very festival bearing their burnt out lead singer’s name. If that alone isn’t an ego play on Sharon’s behalf then I don’t know what is. There’ve been many times where I felt Sharon did certain things to Sabbath just to spite them for firing her future husband back in 1979. She helped Ozzy’s solo career take off and many of his solo albums in the 80’s surely outsold Sabbath’s post-Dio output without question. So therefore she must feel she has the upper hand against Tony and Geezer and she’ll do anything to rub it in their faces every chance she gets. And of course, Ozzy’s so burnt that he’ll do anything his puppeteer wife tells him!

Next….Japan?? Really? Really?! Some of you might think “hey good for Japan. They get to see Sabbath’s final show ever!” Me? Fuck that! I say a band like them, with a legacy as incredible as theirs, should be playing a home coming show in Birmingham, England, where the band was born. It’s only fitting. It started there? They should end it there. This is where they came from, that tough as nails steel town where four kids with no hope got the fuck out of there and accomplished things far beyond what they could’ve ever imagined! Yeah, they did a few Birmingham shows in 2012 while Tony was beginning his Lymphoma treatments but so fucking what? This is supposed to be the end this time, right? This is the good thing about Motley Crue – and no I’m not a fan of them. They all chose to end their tour – and career – at the Whiskey A Go-Go, where it all began for them back in 1981.

Now let’s talk about this Ozzfest lineup, since this last show is already set. In the video announcement for Ozzfest Japan, moneyb – oops, I meant Sharon – also mentions that Korn are also on the bill. I’m not against diversity in music or festivals; but Korn are the originators of the entire shitty nu-metal movement that DESTROYED real heavy metal for a long time. As if it wasn’t bad enough that those assholes are still breathing – why would anyone put them on a bill with BLACK FUCKING SABBATH, a band who’s one guitarist with two missing fingertips can wipe the floor with Korn’s two seven string guitarists, who bend down so low when on stage that they look like they’re sucking their own dicks?! And most importantly it just doesn’t fit musically. Sharon and her son Jack are notorious for pushing really bad, trendy, sound – alike bands on Ozzfest in the past. I think they only time they got it RIGHT was in 2004 when the co-headliners with Sabbath were Judas Priest featuring a newly returned Rob Halford and the next year when they took Iron Maiden with them. That was fucking awesome!

What really made me laugh was when Ozzy said recently that after Sabbath splits he plans to go back to his solo career. Ozz…please…let it go. You used to have an incredible voice; but that was a long time ago and it’s gone now. Oh wait – you can’t do that because $haron won’t let you. I’m guessing this is all revenge for that time you got drunk and tried to kill her. Whoops! That bitch is gonna work you until you die and then STILL make money off you when you go. If I were you – and if you still had a mind of your own! – I’d call it quits after the last Sabbath show. Buddy I’ve seen clips of the band playing “Children of The Grave” at the Barclay’s Center and you alone were AWFUL.

It’s a shame, really. It’s a fucked up way for Black Sabbath, the band that invented the music I love so much, to go out. I feel like it’s a royal slap in the face to their entire legacy. No, this is not their first Ozzfest, not by a long shot. But this is their FAREWELL. Sure, they’ve said this before; but I feel like this really can be the end for real because of Tony’s health problems. They say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree…that’s the fucking truth when it comes to Sharon Osbourne. She’s just like the one guy she hated the most in her life – her father!

Henry & Glenn Forever + Ever

Posted on March 25, 2015March 27, 2015 by Mike

It wasn’t much a surprise when co-creater Tom Neely revealed to LA Weekly that his other co-creator, Gin Stevens, suggested that they make a joke fantasy concept featuring two of Punk and Metal’s most intimidating badasses as a gay couple following a night of binge drinking because no sober person could possibly think this shit up! Hell, according to Tom he was warned by Henry Rollins himself that Glenn might mot like it at all. After all, how often does anyone see Glenn Danzig as the submissive type?

Regardless of what he thinks this book was hysterical. You need to be comfortable in your masculinity and have a great sense of humor to read this. So this tiny $5 book contains three short yet funny as hell stories featuring Henry Rollins and Glenn Danzig, as stated before, as a gay couple in a few different situations. I won’t get into every single detail of the stories but let’s just say they range from Glenn’s refusal to remove bricks from the front of their yard as well as criticism of his new lyrical directions, the two of them being tricked by the ghost of “Rokki Rickett” to go to a palace where they are to be sacrificed by “Leta Fjord”, who in turn gets sacrificed by their satanic neighbors “Daryl and John” – you don’t need to be a music nerd to know that reference! And the final story finds Henry and Glenn in couples therapy where the idea of bringing in a third partner is brought up to a few funny thoughts that had me practically pissing myself!

If you can somehow get your hands on a copy of this you should do it. There is trade version of this and I want to find it so bad!

Confessions of an Angry Metalhead

Author: Mike