Tag: “Sarcasm”

My Thoughts on the Nick Menza Situation

Posted on by Mike

Nick Menza

I read about this when the news broke but I was away in Kentucky with my girlfriend so I had no time to write about this.  Just a few days ago former Megadeth drummer Nick Menza finally broke his silence regarding the constant rumors that he and former guitarist Marty Friedman were rejoining Megadeth following the sudden departures of Shawn Drover and Chris Broderick not too long ago.  What he had to say was not too surprising but still a bit disappointing; but I’m not disappointed at Nick at all.  To save some time I’ll make this as quick as I can.

Not long after Shawn and Chris bounced on the two Daves, Justis Mustaine, Dave Mustaine’s son, posted a video of David Ellefson jamming out on “Rust in Peace…Polaris” with a drummer, but was careful not to show his face.  It sounded too good to be anyone else but Nick Menza so the rumor mill began.  To fuel the fire more any time the two Daves or even Nick himself were approached on the subject neither one of them gave a straight answer.  So we were all a tad saddened to learn that Mustaine had hired Lamb of God drummer Chris Adler to play drums for the next album.  Should be interesting to hear, don’t get me wrong, I’m a Lamb of God fan and that band is HUGELY influenced by Megadeth.

Then came Nick’s statement.  First off he revealed that he was in fact the headless drummer in Justis’ video.  Well, duh!!  I mean come on, who else would that be?  No one can play the way Nick does!  As I said before, it was too good to be anyone else!  He also revealed that he also recorded a few drum tracks for the upcoming album and he even had dinner with the two Daves, their ex-manager, Ron Laffitte, and even Marty Friedman.  Sounds good right?  Well apparently not.  As soon as Nick got home he decided it was time to talk writing credits.  This is where shit gets dicey because at the end of the day this is the music business.  Sometimes agreements get worked out, sometimes they don’t.

According to Nick he received a “very unfair deal that is so wrong”, basically insinuating that Mustaine was going to give him pennies, in comparison to what he alone must make off royalties.  When he tried to renegotiated with Mustaine he apparently blocked Nick’s e-mails, changed his number and even fired Ron as their manager for the second time. I don’t know about you but that last part sounds a bit extreme to me.  No?

But then Nick said the one thing that once again makes him come off as the better man yet again:

“Despite this dark final chapter, I wish MEGADETH the heartiest of health, happiness and success with their future plans.”

Boom!  Done!  Here’s the thing – this is not the first time that this has happened to Nick and neither is this the first time Nick acted as the better man.  During his time as the youngest member of Megadeth during their most successful years, he was seen as immature, and was pulling hi-jinks that the other members had naturally grown out of.  But as life has shown – people do change.  A while back Nick spotted Dave Mustaine at NAMM and decided to approach him like a man.  Dave decided to brush him off.  Nick was surely a tad hurt but he still wished Dave the best, making him the better man and showing that he did in fact grow up.  Hell, I know I’d be cursing his ass out if I were put in that position.

So honestly, I gained a bit more respect for Nick.  He got screwed by a guy he spent the best years of his career with and instead of going online and being bitter about it he was the better man.  And he would’ve totally been justified to be bitter.  Who changes their number just to avoid a guy that wants to talk??  A bitch – that’s who!  I had a lot of respect for Dave Mustaine.  I grew up worshiping the ground he walked on.  His music – back when his shit hit a nerve with people – made such a HUGE impact on my guitar style and my life as a whole.  I’ve witnessed him seemingly losing his mind over the last few years but this is just pathetic, so low it’s even beneath him.  Over royalties?  Really?  There are other reasons to change your number to avoid someone, not over something so fucking petty.

I’d like to wish Nick Menza the best.  I’m excited to hear his new project with James LoMenzo and Chris fucking Poland!!  I sadly can’t say the same about Megadeth.  They lost it a long time ago but Mustaine lost a little personal integrity now as well.  I just wish David Ellefson could see the light, get out again and stay out this time for his own sanity.

Final Thoughts…

Unrelated to the whole Nick Menza situation; I’d like to express my relief in also hearing recently that not only did Black Sabbath pull out of their Ozzfest Japan shows in November, but apparently it was never to be their farewell.  Sharon Osbourne seemingly forgot to mention that it would’ve just been their last Japan show.  It was kind of odd since the band does want to do one last album and a farewell tour.  Maybe the tour will end at home like I said they should do.  Who knows?

My First Taste of Pure Evil in Music

Posted on by Mike

20130104_black_sabbath_paranoid_91 So, in the spirit of my recent rant on Black Sabbath’s final concert announcement, I couldn’t help recently but begin reminiscing about my first true taste of them…and that would obviously be their second album, Paranoid, released originally in 1970.  What an eye opener that was – and not just because the picture of the colorful looking, sword welding soldier on the cover made me think I was buying the soundtrack to some early 70’s low budget sci-fi movie!

I first heard of Ozzy Osbourne when he released Ozzmosis in 1995.  I was 11 at the time and MTV News did a story on him and then a week later  I saw his video for “Perry Mason”.  But it was two years later, when I somehow joined the “rocker clique” in my school, that my friend Elan Bochbot educated me on Ozzy’s beginnings.  What was ironic was this now was the year that Black Sabbath were to reunite (I think without Bill Ward) to headline Ozzfest.  But it wasn’t until a year later that I finally bought my first Sabbath CD – and this was AFTER I bought Blizzard of Ozz so I think you can imagine how thrown off I was bound to be when comparing Randy Rhoads’s playing to Tony Iommi’s!

Oh, I also had an obstacle or two when listening to Paranoid.  I was living with my dad when I got it back in the summer of 1998 and I didn’t have a radio in that bedroom so all I had was some shit CD walkman.  Yeah, about that shit walkman; it was so shitty that for whatever reason it would not read the CD.  And if it did read the CD I had to make sure not to skip tracks because it wouldn’t read and the fucking CD would just spin around aimlessly.  You can’t make this shit up!

Now for the music!  The first time my shitty CD player was able to read the CD I was smacked in the back of the head by the first low E strum and slow as fuck groove of “War Pigs”.  That groove, the unusual way Tony Iommi played his guitar – a far cry from Randy Rhoads and “I Don’t Know” for sure! – Geezer Butler’s walking bassline, Bill Ward’s loose drumming.  Those sirens!!  I already couldn’t help but anticipate what was to happen next because I knew it’d be a while before my CD player would be able to do this again!

Then it got quiet, all you could hear was Bill’s hi-hat.  Then it came.  “Generals gathered in their masseeeeeess!”  Whoa!  Is that really Ozzy?  Is that the same guy that I just heard a month earlier singing “Crazy Train”?  Oh yeah it was.  But this was a much rawer Ozzy.  At that moment I understood that this was going to be nothing like those other two Ozzy CD’s I had.  This shit was going to be fucking RAW.  This would be the first time I wouldn’t hear a rhythm guitar track during any solos, this would be the first time I’d hear the guitar and bass intertwining together as one, swinging drums in a much more aggressive environment.  I was listening to the origins of Heavy Metal – and it sounded pretty jazzy.

After being blown away by “War Pigs” “Paranoid” came next.  This is one of the simpler songs on the CD.  It’s perfect.  Short, fast paced, the lyrics fit perfectly and that gnarly, dissonant solo totally fucked with my head.  I can listen to it now and I can’t help but imagine the face of a crazy person.  “Planet Caravan”, the lone mellow track here.  This one threw me off for sure, especially with Ozzy’s voice going through a rotating speaker, which I wasn’t aware of at the time.  I didn’t even think it was him!  As he creepily spoke about sailing “through endless skies” as “stars shine like eyes”, I felt like I was watching a cartoon, and in it all four guys in the band when on some boat riding through space, then as Tony played the ending solo the four of them faded away in to the darkness.  As it turns out my interpretation of the song wasn’t too far off from what Geezer had in mind after all.  What makes me laugh is my rap loving brother heard this song the one time my dad let me play it in his truck and decided “You’re a poser and I’m gonna tell all ya friends!”.  Yeah…good luck there buddy.

Then came that bass drum, then came the bending E string…”I am Iron Man!”.  This was just fun as hell because while this wasn’t based on the comic book I read comics so this is another song where I couldn’t help but see a cartoon going on in my head, regardless that it turned out to be the ultimate rejection song and the same goes for “Electric Funeral ” too!  But Tony’s use of the wah pedal on “Electric Funeral” made the riff that much more fucked up sounding and I loved it.

“Hand of Doom”, that is just pure groove.  I wasn’t ready for that yet but I totally appreciate it now, especially when I gets faster in the middle before slowing down again.  It’s an exercise in jazz improv, but of course as evil as they could get.  Same thing goes for “Jack the Stripper/Fairies Wear Boots”.  Upon my first several listens the lyrics made absolutely no sense at all.  I didn’t think they were supposed to because I knew everybody and their mother did drugs like there was no tomorrow back then but later on I discovered the meaning behind it.  But Geezer, I’m sure that not all skinheads are afraid to fight bud – you just got lucky that night!

The album, or at least my version of it, ends with “Rat Salad”, or as I like to call it, the Bill Ward Special!  He is such an underrated drummer.  He was to Black Sabbath what Ringo was to the Beatles.  He had rhythm but he could swing to and it added such flavor to the groove.  But unlike Ringo he could do drum solos.  Was this John Bonham?  No.  But it fit perfectly with the tune.

And just like that not only was it over but I’d probably have to wait a while before the stupid CD player could read the CD again.  This was nothing like what I was listening to at the time.  Ozzy’s voice was raw and nasal as hell throughout the whole thing.  Tony’s guitar playing was primitive but he undeniably had such a huge sound and I could finally see where so many guys stole their tricks from – myself included.  It was filed with anger, it was dark, gloomy, nothing flashy or shrederrific about him.  What you heard was what you got but it was real and you FELT IT.  Geezer turned out to be such a player on that bass and Bill was more than an anchor.  He was the perfect jazz drummer – he knew when to keep it tight but he also knew when to let it fly.

In the end it was the perfect historical piece for metal historians, not just because of the music.  The artwork, the lyrical imagery, the themes of war, rejection, mental illness and again, how raw it all is.  Paranoid will always be the perfect introduction to the band that started it all.  I knew I was hooked and I wanted more.  Now.  Yesterday.  Then I found Master of Reality, which I consider to be THE heaviest album of all time.  But that’s another story.

Humanity…what a joke…

Posted on by Mike

download (1)This past Thursday a gas related explosion in a Manhattan restaurant demolished an entire building on the corner of 2nd Ave and St. Mark’s Pl, an area I used to hang out in a lot during my college days.  As a result several people, including actress Drea Di Matteo, have lost there homes and many of them, of course not including Drea, are going to have a real hard time picking up the pieces.  Businesses are destroyed, homes are lost, and as of today, two bodies have been found.

Yet a few pieces of shit decided this had to have been a great time to take a selfie.  Right?  Right??  Any takers???  This is why I hate people and this is also how I know that even I have some standards.  Who out there with COMMON SENSE would take a selfie in front of a burning building where several lives have been destroyed?  I don’t want to compare this to a terrorist attack but since the building in question did collapse, if these assholes took a selfie when the World Trade Center was hit nearly fourteen years ago they would’ve paid dearly for it without question!  Is it just me or shouldn’t these pieces of shit be punished for this?  Am I out of line?  Who the fuck are they to make light of something so tragic??  I’m not one to talk about poor taste but not only was what they did in poor taste but it’s just wrong in every way.  I also don’t feel like these pieces of shit are truly being held accountable for this and it’s about time they are.  I hope to hear something about this happening soon.

$haron ruins everything…again.

Posted on by Mike

blacksabbath2013smaller_638Over this past week Sharon Osbourne proved once again why she’s an out of touch, clueless, money hungry piece of shit.  Five days ago she released a short promotional video announcing that Black Sabbath will be playing their final show when Ozzfest goes to Japan in November.  There’s a lot wrong with this picture already.

Now before I go into that I’d like to quickly acknowledge that just maybe this was a decision made by Tony.  The poor guy’s been fighting Lymphoma for three years now and I’m sure that it’s got to be taking it’s toll on him lately, especially when you factor in the touring schedule, how often he has to fly back home for treatments, and of course, the man is 67 years old.  Therefore, I have no choice to respect that, that is if this was his decision.  He’s the godfather of Heavy Metal – no one else can say that, I don’t care what anyone thinks.  Without the sound HE created there is no Heavy Metal and he deserves all the respect in the world.  I’ll forever be grateful to Tony Iommi.  He was one of my biggest inspirations as a guitar player because he was and is as real as it gets.

Now for what I hate about this!  It all boils down to the fact that their final show is to be at the very festival bearing their burnt out lead singer’s name.  If that alone isn’t an ego play on Sharon’s behalf then I don’t know what is.  There’ve been many times where I felt Sharon did certain things to Sabbath just to spite them for firing her future husband back in 1979.  She helped Ozzy’s solo career take off and many of his solo albums in the 80’s surely outsold Sabbath’s post-Dio output without question.  So therefore she must feel she has the upper hand against Tony and Geezer and she’ll do anything to rub it in their faces every chance she gets.  And of course, Ozzy’s so burnt that he’ll do anything his puppeteer wife tells him!

Next….Japan??  Really?  Really?!  Some of you might think “hey good for Japan.  They get to see Sabbath’s final show ever!”  Me?  Fuck that!  I say a band like them, with a legacy as incredible as theirs, should be playing a home coming show in Birmingham, England, where the band was born.  It’s only fitting.  It started there?  They should end it there.  This is where they came from, that tough as nails steel town where four kids with no hope got the fuck out of there and accomplished things far beyond what they could’ve ever imagined!  Yeah, they did a few Birmingham shows in 2012 while Tony was beginning his Lymphoma treatments but so fucking what?  This is supposed to be the end this time, right?  This is the good thing about Motley Crue – and no I’m not a fan of them.  They all chose to end their tour – and career – at the Whiskey A Go-Go, where it all began for them back in 1981.

Now let’s talk about this Ozzfest lineup, since this last show is already set.  In the video announcement for Ozzfest Japan, moneyb – oops, I meant Sharon – also mentions that Korn are also on the bill.  I’m not against diversity in music or festivals;  but Korn are the originators of the entire shitty nu-metal movement that DESTROYED real heavy metal for a long time.  As if it wasn’t bad enough that those assholes are still breathing – why would anyone put them on a bill with BLACK FUCKING SABBATH, a band who’s one guitarist with two missing fingertips can wipe the floor with Korn’s two seven string guitarists, who bend down so low when on stage that they look like they’re sucking their own dicks?!  And most importantly it just doesn’t fit musically.  Sharon and her son Jack are notorious for pushing really bad, trendy, sound – alike bands on Ozzfest in the past. I think they only time they got it RIGHT was in 2004 when the co-headliners with Sabbath were Judas Priest featuring a newly returned Rob Halford and the next year when they took Iron Maiden with them.  That was fucking awesome!

What really made me laugh was when Ozzy said recently that after Sabbath splits he plans to go back to his solo career.  Ozz…please…let it go.  You used to have an incredible voice; but that was a long time ago and it’s gone now.  Oh wait – you can’t do that because $haron won’t let you.  I’m guessing this is all revenge for that time you got drunk and tried to kill her.  Whoops!  That bitch is gonna work you until you die and then STILL make money off you when you go.  If I were you – and if you still had a mind of your own! – I’d call it quits after the last Sabbath show.  Buddy I’ve seen clips of the band playing “Children of The Grave” at the Barclay’s Center and you alone were AWFUL.

It’s a shame, really.  It’s a fucked up way for Black Sabbath, the band that invented the music I love so much, to go out.  I feel like it’s a royal slap in the face to their entire legacy.  No, this is not their first Ozzfest, not by a long shot.  But this is their FAREWELL.  Sure, they’ve said this before; but I feel like this really can be the end for real because of Tony’s health problems.  They say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree…that’s the fucking truth when it comes to Sharon Osbourne.  She’s just like the one guy she hated the most in her life – her father!

Henry & Glenn Forever + Ever

Posted on by Mike

IMG_20150322_194622_443IMG_20150325_181638_712IMG_20150325_181704_772IMG_20150325_181739_148IMG_20150325_181815_418IMG_20150322_202517_447IMG_20150325_181841_927  It wasn’t much a surprise when co-creater Tom Neely revealed to LA Weekly that his other co-creator, Gin Stevens, suggested that they make a joke fantasy concept featuring two of Punk and Metal’s most intimidating badasses as a gay couple following a night of binge drinking because no sober person could possibly think this shit up!  Hell, according to Tom he was warned by Henry Rollins himself that Glenn might mot like it at all.  After all, how often does anyone see Glenn Danzig as the submissive type?

Regardless of what he thinks this book was hysterical.  You need to be comfortable in your masculinity and have a great sense of humor to read this.  So this tiny $5 book contains three short yet funny as hell stories featuring Henry Rollins and Glenn Danzig, as stated before, as a gay couple in a few different situations.  I won’t get into every single detail of the stories but let’s just say they range from Glenn’s refusal to remove bricks from the front of their yard as well as criticism of his new lyrical directions, the two of them being tricked by the ghost of “Rokki Rickett” to go to a palace where they are to be sacrificed by “Leta Fjord”, who in turn gets sacrificed by their satanic neighbors “Daryl and John” – you don’t need to be a music nerd to know that reference!  And the final story finds Henry and Glenn in couples therapy where the idea of bringing in a third partner is brought up to a few funny thoughts that had me practically pissing myself!

If you can somehow get your hands on a copy of this you should do it.   There is trade version of this and I want to find it so bad!

…if I owned my own gym…

Posted on by Mike

I’ve have thoughts about trying to open my own gym for the past four years now.  Not only would I be my own boss but I could do what I want with it, which obviously includes dictating the entire vibe of the place.  Who would my gym cater to?  How would I design it?  What equipment would I bring in?  And of course there’s also the music. I love hardcore gyms like the ones I’ve seen in articles and on youtube.  They cater to serious trainers, bodybuilders, powerlifters, you name it they are serious trainers.  I’d love to go to a place like Metroflex in Arlington, TX, with those SICK designs all over the walls, music blasting through the speakers and dudes likes Branch Warren training their asses off; a place like Pumping Iron not too far from me.  THAT place is Grunt City!  The first time I walked in there they grunted and screamed so loud they were cutting through the music!  These people were cutting through two big, 80’s era life size speakers! I train at a newly christened Powerhouse Gym.  The owner bought Atlas Gym from the original owner and is looking to renovate the entire building.  Thankfully, Mike, the new owner likes to play lots of rock music and some metal.  But of course he’s not going to play the good shit all the time.  I’ve already heard shit bands like Shinedown, Trapt, Limp Bizkit, Guns N Roses.  Yeah I included Guns on that list – overrated and pretentious as fuck if you ask me! But Mike does let us put our phones/mp3 players into the stereo system – just ask the guy who’s always playing his Eminem mix every Thursday night!  So one day I asked him if I could plug in my Spotify gym mix and he let me.  I need the heaviest music I can think of to amp me up, especially when I’m squatting and deadlifting on the same day.  This is my initial gym playlist called simply Gym Music:

  • Nevermore -Born
  • Meshuggah – Combustion
  • Crowbar – The Lasting Dose
  • Pantera – The Great Southern Trendkill
  • Morbid Angel – God of Emptiness
  • Black Label Society – Black Sunday
  • Strapping Young Lad – Shitstorm
  • Crowbar – All I Had (I Gave)
  • Pantera – Use My Third Arm
  • Slayer – War Ensemble
  • Meshuggah – Future Breed Machine
  • Nevermore – My Acid Words
  • Strapping Young Lad – Oh My Fucking God
  • Meshuggah – New Millenium Cyanide Christ

Pretty heavy, right?  And I know a few guys in the gym that are metalheads but man, not even THEY could handle my shit.  Within a few songs dudes were bitching to me that what they were hearing is “garbage”, “dude you have any Metallica?”, “Why don’t you make a playlist where you mix it up so everyone could enjoy it?”.  Are you people fuckin’ pussies??  This is lifting music!  It’s not supposed to be Master of Puppets; hell, everything on this list fuckin’ buries ‘Puppets six feet under in terms of intensity! The best was when the music ended Eric, one of those metalheads, quietly said “Thank god it’s over!”.  Eric…I heard you buddy.  But that’s not even my problem.  Whenever I go to the gym a lot of what I hear is SHIT in plain English, but I don’t say a word because what right do I have?  Therefore, what right do they have to bitch about my music?  If you don’t like what you hear there’s a thing called HEADPHONES you pussies.  Man, if I had my own gym the music would be loud and heavy as fuck all the time.  And yeah, I’d probably scare a lot of people away…an exercise in weeding out the weak. Also… RIP AJ Pero 1958 – 2015

Introduction to a jerk

Posted on by Mike

I never thought I’d start one of these things.  I did a wordpress blog back in 2007 for some fucking worthless Advertisement course I took in college, despite the fact that it had absolutely nothing to do with what I originally wanted to do with my life.  Again…worthless.   So why am I here again…and why now?  I’d like to think it’s because after years of curbing my thoughts and opinions as to avoid issues with those who can’t handle them I decided just recently that it’s about time I said what I had to say.  My name’s Mike.  I’m 30 years old and I’m a weightlifting, guitar raping (Yeah I said it!), sarcastic as fuck, ranting, rambling, angry metalhead.  I’ve been a metalhead going back to the late nineties/early 2000’s, when it was so uncool to be a metalhead.  Yeah, I went through shit that early.  See, when my musical taste began darkening the “in” thing, depending on the year, was faggot ass Rap Metal shit like Limp Bizkit and Korn, or Pop Punk like Blink 180-suck.  When nearly everyone I knew was listening to Weezer, Mudvayne and Emo I was the one guy taking the bus to Zig Zag Records on Victory Blvd buying the REAL classics.  I’m talking Slayer’s Reign In Blood and Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying by Megadeth.  That place was amazing and I miss it. After high school HELL I joined my college radio station.  I won’t say what station because they don’t deserve the attention thanks to the few jerkoffs from back in the day that are STILL there like the losers they are.  I was an assistant engineer and within a few months into my 2 plus year run there I began DJing.  I began calling myself Metal Mike after a joke my then guitarist, Chad, made one day when I told him I was getting my own show.  I don’t know that I was a local celebrity but I do know that when I began playing shows with my band a  few people knew me as Metal Mike, which I thought was crazy.  I’d also gotten phone calls from some strange motherfuckers.   Trust me, I’ll get into that one day. During these years I became very opinionated in terms of music.  I don’t know if it had to do with the fact that I wanted to be a journalist for a brief time, or that I used to write reviews for the CDs I played at my station, or I somehow developed extremely high standards of what Metal is and should be in my eyes.  I also had become very opinionated about society and the morons surrounding me.  I hate people and I’m extremely selective with who I hang with for many reasons. That’s not to say I’m friends with “just” metalheads because even THEY are so fucking cliquey it’s ridiculous!  What the fuck happened?!?!  I intend on using this blog for a few things.  You might see my ramblings of the day, my takes on the bands that ruined me for life, surviving as a metalhead in the outside world, etc.  But it’ll always be honest as fuck.  You’ve been warned.