How Jeff Got His Balls Back

I was supposed to be finished with blogs/podcasts for the year after the most recent shit I released just two nights ago. But seeing the news post on Metal Injection’s Instagram account this morning excited me so much that before I even read the fucking story on their proper website, I went ahead and posted it on my Instagram story and wrote: “Way to go, Jeff! Congratulations, your balls and dignity are back!!!!!”

If you’ve yet to read the article or even hear the news, Guitar GOD Jeff Loomis has left Arch Enemy after nine years. That’s a lot longer than I would’ve ever imagined someone like Jeff being a part of that shitshow! Because that’s what Arch Enemy has been for well over a decade. Jeff has already been replaced by Joey Concepcion, formerly of The Absence, who I was a fan of at the time, and Sanctuary.

Is it just me, or isn’t it ironic that Jeff was replaced by the guy from Warrell Dane’s first band?

Here’s Arch Enemy’s statement:

“It’s been a joy having Jeff play with Arch Enemy for close to a decade, we truly had a blast touring around the world together!We were friends long before we played music together and we remain even closer buddies now, which feels great. We respect that he’s in a place and time in life where he needs to step out of Arch Enemy and we all wish him nothing but the best moving forward.

The only constant is change, and this is one of those moments where things had to change a little to move forward in a satisfactory way for everyone involved. With all that said, we are extremely pleased to announce that we have recruited Joey Concepcion as our new guitarist! Joey’s a phenomenal talent and has been a friend of the band for a long time, he even filled in for Jeff on a couple of European festival shows back in 2018.

We have touring and a myriad of other exciting things coming up on the horizon with Arch Enemy for 2024 and beyond and are thrilled to move forward, creating the next chapter and keeping the metal flowing!”

Jeff’s statement:

“My time in Arch Enemy has come to an end. I have had a great time (9 years!) of playing and touring with them, but now it’s time to enter a new chapter in my life. I wish Alissa, Michael, Sharlee and Daniel the very best and consider them all lifelong friends. I’d also like to thank the crew that have always been nothing but kind to me. Their hard work and dedication towards the band is incredible, and we wouldn’t be able to put on the great shows without them. Thank you again for all your support over the years and Happy New Year.”

Both of these statements sound very polished, very edited. Arch Enemy’s statement has me laughing inside a little, especially the part where they state that “this is one of those moments where things had to change a little to move forward in a satisfactory way for everyone involved“. I can only imagine this was everyone gritting their teeth as one party really wanted to exclaim, “thank fuck he’s gone so I continue writing songs in the same corny, stale formula I’ve been attached to since the late 2000’s”, while the other party is responding, “thank fuck I’m out of there, and I never have to wear those fucktarded outfits and play boring stale formulaic shit ever again!”. 

I wonder which party is which here!

If you’re reading this and somehow haven’t the faintest idea of who the fuck Jeff Loomis is outside of Bland Enemy, the Dad Rock of Metal bands (I said it!), go on Spotify, or YouTube, or Apple Music, or raid your older brother’s CD collection, and just listen to the entire Nevermore catalogue. To say that Jeff Loomis is a PHENOM would be a GROSS understatement. He has it all: his own signature playing style, his own signature sound, attitude, his own distinct songwriting style. Jeff Loomis is literally the total package. It’s easy to see upon listening to Nevermore or either of his two solo albums, 2008’s Zero Order Phase, or 2012’s Plains of Oblivion (I can almost hear Warrell Dane howling that out in my head, or even snarling it in his sinister speaking voice!) why people have commented that Jeff is comparable to an underground Dimebag Darrell. He has ALL the tools, much like Dime had, only he never met his true potential and made it to the top of the heap as Dime had just a few years before Nevermore even released their 1995 self-titled debut.

On the other side of the coin, we have the Michael Amott-led Arch Enemy. Michael also has his own signature playing style along with his own distinct songwriting style. That style was initially introduced to Carcass when he joined the band in the early 90’s, as it dictated a change in the band’s Grindcore sound into something a little different on 1991’s Necroticism – Descanting The Insalubrious. That sound was further leaned on with Carcass’s landmark 1994 album, Heartwork, which is essentially the birth of what we know today as Melodic Death Metal. There were more guitar solos, and the riffs sounded far more like Iron Maiden due to an increase in harmonized riffs than ANYTHING before 1991.

Michael took a chance and left Carcass to start Arch Enemy, which would be used to further expand on this style that Michael brought to Carcass, which in retrospect did to Carcass what Michael McDonald did to The Doobie Brothers. After two albums they hit gold when, in 2000, Arch Enemy brought in German hottie Angela Gossow on lead vocals. I first read about her as well as Arch Enemy in Terrorizer Magazine upon the release of their landmark 2001 album, Wages of Sin. She was hot. But then I heard her growl. Then I just seriously was concurrently horny and feared that, if I made her cum she’d breathe fire or some shit.

Wages was groundbreaking for its time. The riffs were equally as catchy as they were heavy, the choruses were anthems in themselves, and the contrasting lead guitar styles of Michael’s wah pedal-drenched Michael Schenker-esque technique and his brother Christopher’s far more shredder-like style put Arch Enemy in a class of its own in the Heavy Metal Underground. But that was 2002.

As time went on, Arch Enemy’s sound turned into a blatant formula, one which staled out at a steady pace. And THAT’S where the problems come in for Jeff Loomis. 

Jeff may have his own playing style that differs from the sound of Arch Enemy; but Jeff’s style is far more dynamic, intense, and diverse. I can only imagine that Jeff joining the band was an objectively great move for both parties: Michael had an EXTRAORDINARY, once-in-a-generation talent in Jeff now, and Jeff had a stable income, which he rightfully deserved. Between the break-up of Nevermore, who never saw their potential met, and releasing two solo albums that were probably just popular to the diehard Nevermore fans, I can only imagine that he might’ve been struggling a bit. There are zero guarantees in underground music, especially since the dawn of downloading.

But talk about a WASTED opportunity? Jeff didn’t have any true creative input at all. He wrote nothing, meaning that Michael is his own worst enemy. And Michael even stated at the time that he was putting a muzzle on Jeff because the band had a formula he wanted to stick to and didn’t want Jeff to potentially steer the band too far away from that formula. If that wasn’t an omen for what Jeff’s time in Arch Enemy might’ve been like, I don’t know what is. Just imagine what Jeff’s input, even if just a little per album, would have done for Arch Enemy in terms of revitalizing the band with a potentially fresher, far more exciting and intense sound. All Michael had to do was be brave enough to step away from his comfort zone just a little and that little bit would’ve made all the difference in the world. 

Michael Amott: The Undisputed King of Stepping On Your Own Dick.

Because that’s what this was. I doubt there was any true behind the scenes drama; but while Jeff had a guaranteed paycheck from a well-established band, he was legitimately being wasted. I actually heard a new Arch Enemy song featuring their current female singer (Angela left years ago and is the band’s manager, but the band sure knows how to stick to a formula!) and it was an absolute chore to listen to. If you’re a musician like me, or at least familiar with both Michael’s and Jeff’s songwriting styles, then you’d know without being told that there’s no way Jeff could’ve written that dribble. 

After CM Punk was fired from AEW earlier this year, the Young Bucks went into the ring after a taping of AEW Collision and like two children, did a victory lap around the ring in celebration of Punk’s firing, in a relatively empty area. Pretty pathetic, as Punk pointed out a year earlier that the Bucks were also stepping on their own dicks, which is currently destroying their own company from the inside. So, was Arch Enemy’s press statement addressing Jeff’s departure Michael’s own proverbial victory lap? Because while Arch Enemy continues to have a built-in fan base, who really gives a shit anymore? I sure don’t, and it’s all because Michael Amott would rather get in his own way than try to make even more money.

Much like the Young Bucks were intimidated by CM Punk and his star power, I have to wonder if Michael Amott was intimidated by Jeff Loomis and his abilities. Even though Arch Enemy CLEARLY outlived Nevermore, who broke up in 2011, could Michael have been nervous that Jeff would’ve stolen the show, challenging Michael to up his own game. Michael is clearly talented in his own right considering he literally invented a subgenre that’s copied ad nauseum to this day; but he’s not the guitarist Jeff is. Not by a longshot! 

Sadly, this is truly the better deal for Jeff as well as Bland Enemy. Bland Enemy can continue making more bland, boring Dad Metal while Michael Amott continues to step on his own dick, and Jeff Loomis can be alive again.

Recommended Listening:

Nevermore – Dreaming Neon Black (1999)

Nevermore – Dead Heart in A Dead World (2000)

Nevermore – Enemies of Reality (2003)

Nevermore – This Godless Endeavor (2005)

Jeff Loomis – Plains of Oblivion (2012)

Extreme Metal Gym Playlist

Gym playlists.  Man, some people out there really seem to not have the balls to delve into nastier shit than they’re accustomed to in order to really raise those adrenaline levels.  I guess they don’t really want to train with fury after all.  Pussies.  This goes back to my first true post on here, titled: “…if I had my own gym”.  I bitched that the so-called metalheads in my gym cried like little girls upon hearing my heavy-as-fuck Spotify playlist, which contained several tracks by Pantera (the super heavy shit from the mid-90’s), Strapping Young Lad, Nevermore and Meshuggah.  The remarks came flying: “What is this crap?”  “Yeah I know I’m a Stripping Young Lad but this sucks!”, “Do you have any Metallica??”

Sure, there are gyms out there that understand that Disturbed is NOT the definition of music that makes you want to fight someone of even deadlift the house.  But they’re few and far between.  Also, I’ve come across plenty of playlists on Bodybuilding.com and, while some have come close, I came across a lot of shit.  When I think of real weightlifting music Bring Me The Horizon and Miss May I are clearly, badass bands to train to.  Right?  Right?  Excuse me while I puke out my flank steak dinner and my creatine powder.

So here are my ten picks, in no particular order, for heavy-as-fuck, balls to the wall, rage fueling, gym music.

  1. Nails – You Will Never Be One Of Us, 2016ywnboou

I’m starting with this one because I need to get something off my chest real quick: I’m so fucking mad at these guys!  Just as this album is getting more critical acclaim and attention than any other album sounding remotely like this the band, without warning, goes on hiatus?!?!  What the fuck is this shit??  And why now???  Did Todd Jones decide he couldn’t handle the sudden popularity??  Did it go against his hardcore ethos??  Good thing I never went to This Is Hardcore in the beginning of the month because I would’ve been really pissed off!

Now that that’s out of the way…this is most likely my album of the year.  In just over twenty-one minutes, this album is literally all killer no filler…at all.  This is just straight up RAGE from start to finish.  The production is rough, the vocals are ridden with the type of slobbering anger that says Todd Jones wants to hurt you so bad.  This is true Meathead music.  It’s totally amped up my workouts since it came out two months ago and will most likely continue to do so.

Key Tracks: You Will Never Be One Of Us, Savage Intolerance, Parasite, They Come Crawling Back

2. Pantera – The Great Southern Trendkill, 1996 tgstk

Yeah…this one…not Cowboys, not Vulgar…this one.  Why?  Listen to the opening seconds of the title track alone.  That’s why.  The Great Southern Trendkill is literally the most violent and intense Pantera release in their entire recording career.  It just wreaks of every negative emotion you DIDN’T expect from Pantera.  I guess it kind of, sort of, also helps that Phil Anselmo was secretly doing heroin during this time.  That shit always brings down the mood!  Featuring the late Seth Putnam of Anal Cunt on backing screams on certain tracks.

Key Tracks: The Great Southern Trendkill, War Nerve, Suicide Note Pt.2, Sandblasted Skin

3. Strapping Young Lad – Alien, 2005

alien

Ever wanted to hear what a bipolar person sounds like when they stop taking their meds just to make their most intense album ever?  Here’s your chance!  But it ain’t pretty.  Which is why I love it!  Devin Townsend knew that Strapping’s 2003 comeback record was clearly stale, minus two tracks.  So what did he do?  He risked his mental health and let the crazies out to play on more time.  I cannot listen to this record when I am driving because there were many times when this record came out that I went into massive road rage, probably came close to INTENTIONALLY running over people and driving into a wall.

Key tracks: Skeksis, Shitstorm, Love?, We Ride

4. Nevermore – This Godless Endeavor, 2005

tge

Without question the heaviest album Nevermore ever did.  I don’t know if it was because of the permanent addition of Steve Smyth as a second guitarist, but whatever it was, it worked.  Usually known for a more diverse musical formula on previous albums, much of that is non-existent here.  Like…compared to the albums before it or after…This Godless Endeavor is musically pitch black.  I can totally see myself bench pressing to Jeff Loomis and Steve Smyth’s dueling leads on “Psalm Of Lydia”.

Key Tracks: Born, My Acid Words, Bittersweet Feast, Psalm Of Lydia

5 and 6.  Crowbar – Crowbar, 1993/Sonic Excess In It’s Purest Form, 2001

Crowbar

I decided I had to put in two albums here.  Crowbar are the ultimate go-to band for intense weight training.  It’s unforgivingly brutal, fast enough, slow enough, sludgy enough and add Kirk Windstein’s increasing raspy vocals on being down and out and all I want to do is eat lots of food and deadlift.

Speaking of food, on their Phil Anselmo-produced, self titled album is a song called “Existence Is Punishment”.  If you ever watched Beavis and Butthead in the 90’s you probably saw them making fun of that song’s video, leaving Beavis to basically say that the band makes you want to eat and get fat.  Oh..and that they’re always taking a dump.  Also featured here the most badass cover of Led Zeppelin’s “No Quarter” that you’ll ever here.

Key Tracks: “High Rate Extinction”, “Existence is Punishment”, “All I Had (I Gave)”, “No Quarter” (Led Zeppelin)

seiipf

Probably the fattest, sludgiest and – believe it or not – most groundbreaking album or their career.  Featuring future Goatwhore guitarist Sammy Duet, Sonic Excess In It’s Purest Form truly lived up to it’s name.  But not just because it’s heavy, or you might as well consider every heavy album to be groundbreaking.  But because the songwriting here is so thought out.  Everything was perfectly arranged.  “The Lasting Dose”, the album’s most popular track – and the one where the moshpits always reach new heights – probably wouldn’t sound as amazing it does if it wasn’t well written.  This one always has me banging my head while training – I could give two shits if anyone’s looking at me.

Key Tracks: The Lasting Does, To Build A Mountain, Failure To Delay Gratification, Empty Room

7. Behemoth – The Satanist, 2014

behemoth-the-satanist-artwork

First off: Nergal is GOD.  I knew I loved Behemoth they day I heard their 2004 album, Demigod, in my college radio station, where I found myself playing it to death for a while.  It was the perfect mix of death metal with black metal themed lyrics, a new style the band were experimenting with.

But here, literally a decade later, the band is beginning to change.  Oh yeah, the brutality of their previous albums is still here, but the music itself feels fresh, much looser, much more off the cuff.  I remember hearing Nergal screaming with passion on the track “Messe Noire:: “I believe in SATAN!!!!”, me yelling to my car stereo with excitement “Oh yes you do!!!”.

Key Tracks: Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel, Messe Noire, Amen, O Father, O Satan, O Sun

8. Meshuggah – obZen, 2008

obZen

This was band’s second album using eight string guitars, but after 2005’s weird, and heavily drum sampled Catch 33, the heaviest band to ever come out of Sweden were back with fury.  Back when everyone and their mother was still on Myspace, I heard “Bleed” on the band’s music player…and nearly fell off my chair.  The slow tempo, mixed with Tomas Haake’s double bass rolls, those bowel inducing, low tuned eight strings locked in just perfectly, Jens Kidman’s newly developed screaming…it was as if the band was reborn!  Meshuggah were already one of my top five gym bands but obZen is a modern day Extreme Metal masterpiece.

Key Tracks: Combustion, Electric Red, Bleed, Dancers To A Discordant System

9. Morbid Angel – Domination, 1995

domination

The one album that causes the most drama between fans.  You either love Domination or the thought of it makes your stomach turn, and that even goes for the members of the band.  Between the production style and the change in David Vincent’s lyrical themes and vocal approach, this is either the band’s most brutal album or the biggest pile of shit they ever recorded.  Me?  I fucking love it!  It’s virtually unrelenting, minus “Hatework”, which I could do without.  I personally think the clarity in production makes Trey and Erik’s guitars that much more brutal.

Key Tracks: Dominate, Where The Slime Lives, Eyes To See Ears To Hear, Dawn Of The Angry

10. Black Label Society – Live Alcohol Fueled Brutality + 5, 2001

bls live

Right off the bat, fuck the “plus 5” on the second disc, it doesn’t matter.  I almost didn’t use this album but first off, Zakk Wylde is GOD.  Second, this live album is endlessly loud, violent, and brutal.  This was recorded on that infamous 2ooo tour were Zakk’s famous “grail” Les Paul was stolen, not to be seen again for a good three years.  This is another album I’ll bang my head to and sing out loud in the gym regardless of who’s watching me.  Fuck them, they’re all listening to the shitty dance music playing through the speakers or some watered down “rock” through their earbuds.

Key Tracks: Low Down, Lost My Better Half, Bored To Tears, No More Tears (Ozzy Cover)

Morbid Angel: A Death Metal Soap Opera

What a week it’s been for Morbid Angel, because in a matter of just a few days, the band lost…everyone.  It all started when founding guitarist Trey Azagtoth announced that bassist/vocalist David Vincent was out of the band and back in the band has non other than Steve Tucker – the very guy who replaced David when he first quit the band back in 1996.  Trey even said they were working on new music together.  Then came the drama; a few hours later David responded saying his basically had no idea what anyone was talking about and that he never the band or was asked to leave.

But wait, this gets better!  With the next two to three days drummer Tim Yeung quit the band, saying he left over financial reasons, which is not too much of a surprise, and then co-guitarist Destructhor (his real name is actually Thor.  That is fucking awesome!) announced that he was out because he wanted to go back home to Norway to focus on his other band Myrkskog.  What I find funny about this already is that both Tim and Destruthor decided to leave Morbid Angel after their most recent European Tour ended in December 2014.  I imagine that they both left because of money and their both too professional to say anything, although according to Destructhor the band wanted to work with someone “more local”.  Already sounds a bit fishy.

Then, just two days ago, David reversed his initial statement and announced that he too was in fact out of Morbid Angel.  He said that he Trey had a long conversation and they both agreed that they had some “incompatibilities” in regard to them working together any longer.  Of all the band departures this is the one that was the lightning rod.  David Vincent is the vocalist you hear on those first four classic albums.  He left the band in 1996 to join his wife’s bondage themed rock band The Genitorturers.  There was some dispute over the creative direction of his last album with them, Domination.  David thought at the time that it was sonically their best album to date due to their upgraded production values and the fact that they tried a few new things.  Trey, on the other hand, said a few years later that he found the sound on Domination to be so sterile that it pissed him off.  He also didn’t like that David wrote all the lyrics this time around and that they strayed very far away from the themes of the previous three albums.

Steve Tucker came in and did three albums with the band and then something happened in 2004.  Trey and David started talking again, which led to him doing a few surprise gigs with the band…which led to him rejoining the band altogether due to the positive reaction from the fans.  There’s been a bit of controversy ever since the band released their 2011 album, Illud Divinum Insanus, an album so techno sounding that David was given the blame for the musical direction.  Hell, look at the guy.  Really – look at him, even in the picture on this post!  God damn if he doesn’t look like something out of a sex shop or Hot Topic before they were bought by the Gap!  Some of you call him David Sixx, which I think is hysterical.  Given that along with his Genitorturers past and his big influence on Domination twenty years ago it’s easy to make a martyr out of David.

So I wonder like everybody else what happened because Trey obviously isn’t ready to talk yet.  He might never be because he doesn’t like to talk…which is probably why he kept David around – he’s very social, I met him so I know as does anyone else who met the guy.  Some people are saying that this is Trey cleaning house and regaining control of his band because David was once again too strong when fighting for creative control.  Some are a little bummed that he’s gone again and some are REALLY happy that he’s gone and Steve’s back in.  And remember I mentioned David not knowing he was gone?  Sounds like Trey didn’t really have the balls to tell him he was gone, kind of like when Warrell Dane of Nevermore discovered through Blabbermouth.net that Jeff Loomis had quit the band.  Pretty scummy if you ask me.

So where does Trey Azagtoth go from here?  Does he hire all naive rookies in order to pay them less than guys like Destructhor and Tim were already getting?  Is Trey ever going to discuss what happened?  Is this new album he’s doing with Steve Tucker going to blow Illud Divinum Insanus out of the water?  Only time will tell but if Trey ever talks he has a lot of explaining to do because a whole band leaving in or announcing their gone in just a matter of days raises a few red flags.  I’ll always be grateful that I got to see Morbid Angel with David Vincent during last year’s Summer Slaughter Tour at Irving Plaza in Manhattan.  Great show and no songs from Illud!  Here’s a short video I made of the band playing “Fall From Grace” off their second album, Blessed Are The Sick.  It’s not even two minutes long though because my phone was dying after a long day out.