Tag: “Metalhead”

Megadeth – Megadeth

Posted on by Mike

https://metalheadconfessions.com/?p=3428

This won’t be fun. I will not enjoy making this review. It’s sad that I came out of retirement for this.

It was announced a few months back that Megadeth’s next album would be their last. I didn’t buy that and I somewhat still don’t, even after listening to the final track, with its strongly worded message. Dave Mustaine has been diagnosed an arthritic condition in his left hand known as Dupuytren’s Contracture, in which his hand stiffen up, as if he’s holding an axe. That apparently is why it’s also known as Viking Disease. Imagine writing some of THE most insanely technical riffs in ALL of Heavy Metal, and then your hand is essentially crippled. That’d kill me if I were in his shoes.

We also have yet another new lineup. Back in the fold for his second jaunt with Megadeth is none other than legendary Brooklyn bassist James LoMenzo. James joined Megadeth in time for 2007’s United Abominations and left shortly after 2009’s Endgame as original Megadeth bassist David Ellefson was being brought back in. When David was fired a few years ago for what I at least describe as religious hypocrisy, his bass parts in the yet to be released The Sick, The Dying, And The Dead were erased and replaced by fretless bass GOD Steve DiGiorgio. But Steve didn’t tour with the band for that album, and that’s when James was brought back. Finnish guitarist Teemu Mantysaari was previously in Symphonic Metal band Wintersun. He joined in time to replace Kiko Loureiro, who left after The Sick, The Dying and The Dead to be home in Brazil with his family.

Symphonic Metal: GAY.

So, with some younger blood in Megadeth, it would be interesting to hear how this supposed sendoff would sound. For those who don’t know, Dave Mustaine left his own band in 2002 after an arm injury. But he came back a little over a year later and his hand was working just fine. And when he initially said that the inaugural 2005 Gigantour would be the last Megadeth tour, he chose to continue on. That’s why I’m pessimistic. Even David Ellefson knows to be pessimistic!

Let’s look at the artwork first. We see band mascot Vic Rattlehead in a three piece suit. As he’s adjusting his tie, we see that he’s slowly being engulfed in flames. It may be symbolic of one going out bravely, going out on his own terms. To me it’s reminiscent of Gus Fring adjusting his tie after barely making it out of the nursing home room that was just blown up by Hector Salamanca by way of Walter White in Season 4 of Breaking Bad. Half his face is blown off, but maybe he knows he’s about to die because once that shock kicks in he immediately drops to the floor.

This supposed final album begins with “Tipping Point”, which was also the first single off the album. It starts off with a pretty good mid-tempo, Iron Maiden-esque harmony riff, featuring quite an impressive solo from Dave. It then picks up speed. Then comes Dave’s vocals and rather shitty lyrics. “Today I may bleed, but tonight you will die”? Yeah, ok bud. Thank fuck for Teemu, who really does sound like a modern-day Marty Friedman at times. And man, it’s only one track in and I can hear how shot Dave’s voice is. A lot of this has to do with his 2010 neck fusion. That fucked up a lot of things for him.

Unfortunately, his voice is going to sound pretty raspy and frail for most, if not all of this album.

The lyrics to “I Don’t Care” are absolutely childish and retarded in plain English. RETARDED. Is this supposed to be Dave’s attempt at writing a Punk Rock song at 64 years old?? Once again, thank you Teemu for saving the day, and for not being a Temu Marty Friedman. See what I did there? Otherwise, “You gotta know gotta know gotta know” that this song is absolute ass!

“Hey, God?!” is more mid-tempo. The sound of Dirk Verbeuren’s drums, and the punchiness of his snare, make this sound like it maybe could’ve fit on Countdown to Extinction. I’m trying to figure out what Dave’s talking about. Is he trying to speak from someone else’s point of view since he himself is a Born Again? Is he channeling his younger self who attempted suicide more than a few times (see “Skin ‘O My Teeth”)? What I do know is that I love Dirk’s drum breaks immediately preceding the solo section.

“Let There Be Shred” contains the album’s most technical riffing so far. And, true to the title, solos galore between both Dave and Teemu. But goddamn, these lyrics – especially the chorus! And how about the line, “the guitars are screaming , they scream with delight”?

GAY.

Before I continue, I need to make this abundantly clear: I get that Dave Mustaine is now 64. Fuck, this September he officially becomes a fucking senior citizen – a milestone he NEVER thought he’d reach! So, I get that at this point not everything he writes will necessarily hit the mark. But I do expect that if this album is to be his final curtain call, that he puts just a little bit more effort into his lyrics. Just a little. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Left to Right: James LoMenzo (bass), Dirk Verbeuren (drums), Dave Mustaine (vocals and guitar), Teemu Mantysaari (guitar)

Is Dave even trying to sing on “Puppet Parade”. In the chorus alone it sounds like his just trying to get through it, and not even because he’s straining his voice. It sounds like that amateur musician that’s so anxious that he’s just trying to get the take over with and doesn’t care if it’s QUALITY or not. I’ve dealt with that a few times when I was stupid enough to play in bands. The music here reminds me of something that could’ve been on United Abominations. Go figure; that’s Megadeth’s last really good album for me and that was released nearly nineteen years ago now.

In fact, I’d say that this final album as whole musically is a combination of both Countdown and United. It’s technical to a point, yet melodic, and there are more mid-tempo tracks than fast tracks, most likely as a result of Dave’s unfortunate diagnosis. I sense that it was the only way he could feasibly record at least one more album without being in too much pain and I cannot hold that against him.

Damn if “Another Bad Day” doesn’t sound like “This Was My Life” at points. It’s actually one of the better arrangements on the record, that’s for sure. But the lyrics sound like a real bad attempt at Springsteen minus the part where he worked that 50 hour shift over at the factory in (insert the edge of random New Jersey town here) and didn’t get paid for it the next week.

I think it’s odd that I don’t really hear much of James LoMenzo’s bass in the mix. I wish I knew why, because he’s an INCREDIBLE bassist. We’re talking so good that I actually forgive him for being in White Lion in the 80’s!

Why do the opening tom fills for “Made to Kill” remind me slightly of “13 Steps to Nowehere” by Pantera? The shuffle otherwise is a classic signature of Megadeth and I actually can’t help but bop my head. The speed picks up and I appear to FINALLY hear James’ bass. Thank fuck! It’s not up there in the mix the way David Ellefson’s bass used to be, but that could also be because Ellefson uses a pick and James uses his fingers. Those vocals again. I almost feel sorry for him. The arrangement seems a bit anti-climactic. It picks up speed, hits a Dave solo, a few more lyrics and it just stops abruptly.

“Obey the Call” is giving me mixed feelings. The mid-tempo groove allows the guitars to breathe a bit more. Teemu’s solos kill it. Thank fuck he helped Dave with some of these arrangements because you can tell he needed the help more than ever. It picks up momentum, a few trade off solos between Teemu and Dave, and then it ends abruptly. Again.

“I know me, I know myself. I do not fear countless battles ahead. I will win when I go to war. Swifter than the wind, I attack fire.” Between this music and your shaky voice, I’m not convinced, Dave. Maybe this’ll work in the nearest nursing home.

And by the way this is killing me to write this.

“One more spotlight start to fade to black. One more winding road, and I won’t come. The roar I lived for, it starts to die. And now it’s time for me to say the long goodbye”. That’s what kicks off “The Last Note”. This is actually moving to me as someone whose own guitar playing was influenced by Dave Mustaine. The deepness in his gravely, shaky voice, appears to be legitimately genuine, as if he knows it’s truly over for him.

The arrangement is very different from the rest of the album, as the lyrical message is far more important than the music. And the music is just fitting. It’s not as dramatic a musical number as I was hoping for with crescendos and drops. But the emotion is there, I was just hoping for a little more to match the lyrics.

“They gave me gold. They gave me a name. But every deal was signed in blood and flames. So here’s my last will and testament, my sneer. I came, I ruled, and now, I disappear…” That’s the way he said goodbye to a calming, gentle twelve string guitar.

If that isn’t an emotional way to go, then I don’t know what is. It did hit me. His riffs, despite what his previous band said about him, ran circles around those guys. His songs were amazingly intelligent, his riffs made you dizzy, his arrangements otherworldly – and most of those happened while under the influence! He made his own path and has his own legacy.

Well, that’s the way he SHOULD HAVE said goodbye.

Now For The Problem!

A Metallica cover, huh?

Let’s discuss something else first. It’s a bit peculiar that he chose to record “Ride the Lightning”. Yes, girls, he does in fact have a songwriting credit for that track before you scream at me for no reason. But of all SIX songs he has credit for, I’m very surprised he didn’t record anything from Kill ‘Em All, the album where he sees the most songwriting credits. I’m even more surprised that he didn’t choose “Jump In The Fire”, as he wrote that before he even joined Metallica. Megadeth already performed “Phantom Lord” live during their 2013 Gigantour shows with Jason Newsted joining the band on stage for that number.

But what I’m not surprised at is that he chose to do this at all. According to David Ellefson, when Megadeth were getting ready to record The Sick, The Dying, and The Dead (in which David’s bass tracks were later erased), Dave wanted Megadeth to record the tracks he wrote for Kill ‘Em All as retaliation for Metallica releasing a special edition, 40th anniversary cassette replica of the No Life ‘Til Leather demo for Record Store Day in 2022, and that’s when David FINALLY put his foot down said no. He also thinks that was the beginning of the end of his relationship with Dave leading to the incident that justified Dave firing him in the end.

Now to discuss “Ride The Lightning”: The Megadeth Edition.

Ask Dave Mustaine and he’ll tell you this is his “full circle” moment where he pays tribute to his previous band as they were his roots. That’d make sense if he ever actually GOT OVER THE FACT THAT THEY FIRED HIM. I think this was more to show off the fact that from a musical standpoint he’s the one who invented the spider chord technique you here in the middle section, and he also most likely wrote the main riff. That sliding power chord is unquestionably a main staple of Dave Mustaine’s guitar/songwriting technique. That groaning sound that you hear in so many Megadeth songs.

But listening to this track over and over again I can’t help but ask myself “what the fuck are we doing here???”. I’m just going to get straight to the point here, it’s a modern-day produced, note-for-note rendition. And Dave’s vocals? Remember that Beavis and Butthead episode where Butthead told Beavis that he sounded like Mustaine? Well, here, Mustaine sounds like Beavis talking about trying to score. That’s not a compliment and Beavis and Butthead was my childhood!

I feel like he just did one take struggling to just get through this. It’s really bad karaoke. It’s as if he got smashed, stumbled into the nearest Karaoke bar in St. Marks Place in Manhattan and yelled badly into the worn out microphone, trying to emulate the vocals of a then-twenty one year old kid. To boot, his vocals in the mix are louder than the music. And let’s talk about the solo section. It’s clear that Dave arranged it where he and Teemu trade off solos. Teemu absolutely starts if off, followed by Dave. But that harmonized section near the end, I don’t know if it’s Dave, Teemu or the two of them harmonizing together. But it almost sounds like a harmonizer effect. Very clinical, much like Dirk’s drums.

And then there’s James’ bass, which I complained about once already. I’m not listening to this expecting Dave to mix James to sound remotely like the late Cliff Burton. I definitely didn’t expect Dave to fly Flemming Rasmussen in from Denmark to mix the tracks the way he did for Metallica in 1984. But on a track like “Ride The Lightning” where the bass was absolutely as important as the other instruments, James fucking LoMenzo needed to be a little more prominent in the mix.

Worse than all of what I just said is the idea that nearly 43 years and an entire legacy later, he chose to end his career by pointing to THEM. It’s not a full circle moment at all. It’s him still mourning the fact that he got kicked out of what became the biggest band on Earth even though it was HIS OWN FUCKING FAULT. I’m not as big a Metallica fan like I was a Megadeth fan; but you NEVER heard James or Lar$ bitch about Dave they way Dave still bitches about them.

It’s time to face the facts: Dave’s time in Metallica was a fucking blip. He, once again, has songwriting credit for only SIX SONGS. He never even made it to record Kill ‘Em All because he was unceremoniously fired just DAYS after the band arrived in Queens, NY. I can easily join the echo chamber in saying he needs to let it go. But if I’m pragmatic, I know that at this point it’s hopeless, so hopeless it’s pathetic. I swear his dying words are going to be “James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich”. And why not? The first two words in his autobiography actually are “James Hetfield” after all. I shit you not.

Abandonment issues my big, hairy ass!

THIS is how he chose to ride off into the sunset, by pretending he was still with them and seemingly forgetting about his own INCREDIBLE legacy. It also acts as a reminder that a LOT of his career was based on trying to one-up Metallica. That’s why he tried to go mainstream in 1992. That’s why he made an album as shitty as Risk in 1999 – because of something he heard Lar$ say!

I didn’t have high hopes for Megadeth’s self-titled farewell. The band’s take on “Ride the Lightning” solidified my fears. I hearby give Megadeth’s swan song two middle fingers.

My Own Final Will and Testament

I’m closing this by officially announcing my retirement from Confessions of An Angry Metalhead. I haven’t been inspired or motivated for over a year. That’s why I’ve done NOTHING since 2024, that’s why I’ve done NOTHING to celebrate the blog’s 10th anniversary last year. I just don’t care and you probably don’t either. The only way I’ll let anyone keep in touch with me if it’s a hot chick, or at least one with great big titties, who wants to send me nudes. Otherwise, I hope I pissed you off and triggered your asses to no end.

Good riddance and kill yourselves you fucking cunts!

Megadeth – Killing Is My Business…And Business Is Good! (2002 Remix and Remaster)

Posted on by Mike

https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/SUZJL0rEd0b

Why?

Why the fuck am I writing another article after having not done so in well over a year? I was unofficially retired, having zero desire to write anything else. I was done. Then Dave Mustaine announced that the next Megadeth album would be the band’s last, and that he was going to retire. Then I started hearing some songs and I was absolutely mortified by the lyrics to some of these songs alone. And I feared that this final album, released just yesterday as of my writing this, is going to be absolute shit.

I’m very tempted to write an article just shitting all over this final album. But before I do, I figured I should talk about my reaction to listening to Mustaine’s 2002 remix of Killing Is My Business…And Business Is Good!, Megadeth’s 1985 debut.

It was my teenage years when I began to absolutely WORSHIP Megadeth far more than I ever could Metallica, the band Dave was kicked out of right before that band recorded their 1983 debut, Kill ‘Em All. My first Megadeth experience, unfortunately was 1997’s Crypitc Writings, which is where the band truly took a stab at mainstream success. It was…ok. Two years later they released Risk, which was even WORSE, and I questioned my my spending choices greatly.

But over time I’d hear classic songs such as “Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying?”, and “Sweating Bullets” on WSOU and wonder where THIS band had been! When the band started to go back to its thrashier roots in 2001, I was inspired and bought the remainder of their 90’s-era output starting with Countdown to Extinction, followed by Youthanasia, and then finally, the motherload itself, Rust in Peace.

I was fucking FLOORED. This was so intricate, so intense. “How the fuck does he sing AND play those guitar parts??”. Then in early 2002, it was announced that Dave remixed and remastered Megadeth’s debut album to be released in February to be released on Loud Records. When they approached him about merely remastering the record, Dave offered to remix it to bring out things that you couldn’t hear in the original recording. He wanted to give it the treatment that all the other albums would get. Also…

See this shit?

Yeah, he definitely wanted the opportunity to finally do justice to this shit show that Combat Records did, making Dave think to himself “Boy did we get cheated!”.

So, upon meeting up with a friend at the Staten Island Mall the Sunday after the remixed album was released, I picked it up at Sam Goody. While taking cab service home, the driver was starting at some of the girls, and beginning to tell me about some of his conquests, before an elderly woman came into the car, forcing him to switch personalities, so to speak.

The biggest mistake I recall making that afternoon was trying to do homework while this was blasting out of my then-new Phillips 5-disc CD player. The piano and ESPECIALLY the guitar was nice and clear for the intro to “Last Rites/Loved to Death”. Once the drums kicked in you could hear that the sounds was far more crisp, the flatulent snare drum sound replaced with something infinitely sharper. And all of this was going to make for Gar Samuelson’s drums to be easier to hear, and far more brutal than what’s heard on the original mix. Then was the way Dave just fucking RIPPED that solo using his Bill Lawrence pickup as an extra fret!

Next up was the badass title track, which according to Dave’s liner notes, was based on The Punisher. I was flabbergasted, thinking that at one point, he was actually trying to sing while playing that chaotically technical riff live in concert. And it was the fucking verse riff!! It was all too clear as the speed picked up: this truly was the brainchild of a guy who lost the opportunity of a lifetime and was now out for blood. He told that band when they fired him to not use his shit. They did anyway and it challenged him to do something he knew they couldn’t pull off.

After that was “Skull Beneath The Skin”, which I’m 99.5% positive is the story of Vic Rattlehead, Megadeth’s mascot. It’s an absolute beast of an exercise in dynamics and changes. There’s a reason Scott Ian of Anthrax once described Dave’s guitar style as being “sideways”, and that’s probably because it truly never was straightforward. Maybe it was because in Gar and guitarist Chris Poland, Dave had employed two jazz musicians who probably helped him in arranging the chaos.

The speedballs might’ve helped too.

This style continued for the next two tracks, “Rattlehead”, the albums Thrash anthem featuring some INCREDIBLE leads by Chris Poland, and “Chosen Ones”. Following these was “Looking Down the Cross”, the ultimate beneficiary of Dave Mustaine’s remix job as far as I’m concerned. You can hear the difference INSTANTLY which Dave’s tapping harmonics in the beginning of the song. In the original mix, the riff is very reverberated, sounding as if it was played in a cave. Within the confines of the remix, the harmonics have more feedback to them and sound far more in your face. And that was the whole point of him remixing this whole album anyway.

This to me is the centerpiece of Killing… It’s technical, it changes tempos at the drop of a fucking dime, the lyrics are insanely intelligent for a guy that had a MAJOR drug problem long before Chris and Gar ever introduced him and bassist David Ellefson to speedballs. Considering that James and Lar$ initially didn’t have the most flattering things to say about Dave’s guitar abilities, especially in the lead department, this was the track that should have shut them both up. The second solo on “Looking…” is the most intense solo Dave ever played. It’s chaotic, it’s panic stricken courtesy of the multiple diminished trills he hits, AND it actually tells a story within the confines of the chaos!

“Mechanix” hits and here we go. Metallica fans know this one w]as “The Four Horsemen”. The primary differences are “Mechanix” lacks the mid-tempo section and the apocalyptic lyrics. In its stead are a slightly faster tempo that doesn’t relent and lyrics about a horny gas station attendant. Hearing James sing “Mechanix” on the No Life ‘Til Leather demo is hilarious when you realize those are Dave’s lyrics, and James’ vocal style still wasn’t fully developed yet.

Closing the album is a cover of “These Boots”, the Nancy Sinatra song. I hate this song with all my heart and soul. I’ll NEVER understand what possessed the band to cover this song. But I do know that it’s quite funny. Lee Hazelwood, the writer of the song, waited ten years before he decided to complain about the band’s cover version, prompting Dave to bleep out random lyrics for the sake of comedic effect more than anything else.

In the next two months leading to the news that Megadeth would have broken up (albeit temporarily), this album kicked my ass so hard. I listened to it RELIGIOUSLY for the next little while as I traveled to school and work every day. It wasn’t perfect, it was nothing like the succeeding album, which found Megadeth on a major label. But the songs were fucking RAW and the new remix job accentuated that rawness. It was very much needed. Not bad for guys who needed an extra $4,000 to finish the album because they blew half of their $8,000 budget on drugs! I give the remix of Killing Is My Business…And Business Is Good four middle fingers!

Track List

Last Rites/Loved to Deth

Killing Is My Business…And Business Is Good!

The Skull Beneath the Skin

Rattlehead

Chosen Ones

Looking Down the Cross

Mechanix

These Boots (Nancy Sinatra)

Bonus Tracks from the Last Rites demo (1984):

Last Rites/Loved to Deth

Mechanix

The Skull Beneath the Skin

Welcome Home, Boys! Shadows Fall – “In the Grey”

Posted on by Mike

Twelve years, twelve long years. That’s how long it’s been since Shadows Fall, one of the most important Heavy Metal bands to come out of the late 90’s-mid 2000’s New Wave of American Heavy Metal released the last album, Fire from the Sky before ultimately going on an indefinite hiatus three years later. In the years that followed, drummer Jason Bittner had gone on to play for Flotsam and Jetsam before leaving them for Overkill, which he had just left recently. More notably, lead guitar GOD Jonathan Donais replaced Rob Caggiano as the lead guitarist for Anthrax. He made his recording debut with them with their 2016 album, For All Kings.

However, in recent years, Shadows Fall began to sporadically – and I DO mean sporadically! – play shows, primarily festival dates. I assume this was to maximize the worth of their time after being away for so long. But the demand for more grew and when the band performed The War Within in its entirety this past March, Brian Fair announced that they were in the middle of recording new material. Well, it was announced that “In the Grey”, their first new single in twelve long, agonizing years, would be released on Friday, December 6th.

Well, December 6th arrived and there’s only one thing to say after listening to the first new Shadows Fall single in twelve years:

Welcome home, boys!

“In The Grey” is EVERYTHING we ever knew and loved about Shadows Fall, all wrapped into one hard-hitting, 3:38 package. It hits you in the face instantly with Jason Bittner’s sledgehammer-esque, lightning-fast drums, before transitioning into a frantic drop-C thrash riff and Brian Fair screaming his head off. It drops the tempo for the chorus and sounds a bit like “Still I Rise” off 2009’s Retribution before making way for a pinch harmonic drenched breakdown riff. Jon, Zakk so would’ve been proud. At the 2:16 mark, you’ll hear one last syncopated riff right before Jon’s solo. There’s a subtle change there that you’d have to really pay attention to. Without getting nerdy about it, it definitely adds color and dynamics to the riff. If you play music, you’ll hear it instantly. I fucking love it.

Jon’s solo….oh that solo. It’s everything we all loved about his playing. Technical, aggressive, intense, dripping with emotion. I said he was the bastard child of Randy Rhoads and Zakk Wylde, and he demonstrated it here. And it’s short enough to leave us wanting more. After one more repeated chorus, it’s all over. At least for now. The production on “In the Grey” is fantastic. You can hear every nuance of every instrument. If Zeuss produced this (I’m betting he did) then score one for the band because NO ONE knows how Shadows Fall is supposed to sound like Zeuss does.

Let’s dissect these lyrics. If there was one thing I was looking forward to, this was it, because Brian has written some thought-provoking lyrics over the years.

“Impermanence breeds pain
All hope and light will drain
You think it’s all on you
But they feel it too…

The pressure building
The bones will crack
Relentless waves in which you drown
The heart rings hollow
And thoughts collapse
Ruthless obsession there’s no turning back”

According to Brian, the lyrics are rooted in experiencing crippling depression. And as someone who might or might not be dealing with that as I type this review up, this hits a little too hard. Let’s continue to the chorus to avoid dissecting everything.

“Hey! another day in the grey
This can’t be the only way
The light seems so far away
Hey! another day in the grey
I’m not giving up today
The light seems so far away”

What Brian also mentioned is that the song is ultimately about slowly overcoming said depression or at least making the commitment to not let it drown you. That’s not easy to do.

I love “In the Grey” and I am left with hope that whatever Shadows Fall drops next will also be as true to the legacy of this once untouchable band as this track is. Sad as I was to hear they were going on indefinite hiatus all those years ago, I dare say this was actually worth the wait. Most bands that reunite after a long absence tend to not have that fire in them. But with “In the Grey”, I sense what I sensed when I saw them in March. That’s a band fully rejuvenated. I give “In the Grey” five out of five middle fingers.

Jerry Cantrell – I Want Blood

Posted on by Mike

https://open.spotify.com/embed/episode/57AOabins5CaX3Ro4ctBmC?utm_source=generator

In a very recent interview, Jerry Cantrell, Alice in Chains riff GOD and my Lord and Savior, stated that regardless of who you are, no solo record should ever sound the same. And he certainly is living up to that credo with his latest record, I Want Blood, which was released just last Friday. I Want Blood is a massive departure from Jerry’s previous solo outing, 2021’s Country Rock opus Brighten. Brighten almost could’ve passed as a pre-Take It to the Limit Eagles album! Think of songs like “Take It Easy”.

With the release of the first single for the new album, which I already reviewed, it was clear that Jerry decided to bring more balls back to the music. He also decided to add a few old friends into the mix for these songs. While 95% of the Brighten crew returned, including ex-Dillinger Escape Plan members Greg Puciato (I just vomited in my mouth typing that!) on backing vocals and Gil Sharone on drums, Guns N’ Homos bassist Duff McKagen – Yeah, I said it! Fuck his band and him too! – there are a few additions. While Tyler Bates is the one man missing from the Brighten crew, Lola Collette – who I just found out is Tyler’s daughter! – provides backing vocals along with Greg. Also here, as mentioned in my “Vilified” review is Metallica bassist Rob Trujillo. Faith No More/ex-Ozzy drummer Mike Bordin also makes an appearance on two tracks.

Before I continue, I need to make clear that neither Rob nor Mike Bordin play on any tracks together. Therefore, if you were hoping for some kind of Degradation Trip audio reunion, as I was, you’re going to be disappointed.

As I was.

The opening track is “Vilified”, which again, I already reviewed, and you can read that review in the hyperlink I provided two paragraphs ago. “Off The Rails” makes it clear that “Vilified” is no fluke track, and that the album is to continue in this heavier direction. And for that, I say thank fuck! I really like the pedal tone lick that’s used to fill the empty spaces throughout the main riff before it double times. There’s even a guitar solo here! Next is “Afterglow” which was also the album’s second single to be released. I initially was not a fan of this tune. I understood this was meant to be a slower tune; but I initially saw the song as underwhelming, a tad too middle of the road. But upon hearing it in the context of the album as a whole, I appreciate it at least a little more.

It’s weird to hear the changes in Cantrell’s delivery as a singer and a guitarist as he ages. He remains a standout; you can never NOT recognize him upon hearing his style. But his lead playing style has lost some of its intensity, even if the songs themselves still kick major ass. And his voice is a tad shakier these days. I first noticed it on Brighten. So, I can’t tell if it’s something he’s just using for these solo albums to help them stand apart from his Alice material, or if this is his voice now, a product of much wear and tear. He’s 58 after all, so it’s rather plausible. But let’s not misunderstand – he STILL has a powerful voice when needed.

I chose to wait until now before reviewing the album’s title track as it was released as a single just a week prior to the album release date. I need to get this part out of the way now: The way he says, “I Want Blood!” at the beginning of the song is weird, almost funny. I understand the metaphor behind the title and the song, which is more about swinging for the fences than killing someone (too bad). But he almost sounds like a lazy vampire, if that makes sense. Maybe he can be compared to even the Count. Yes, THAT Count!

(Talks like the Count) I want blood, ha ha ha!

Basically, I’m not convinced Cantrell wants blood here. Put some more gusto into it, fucker!

In all seriousness, the track is fucking awesome! It’s so awesome I forgive him for using a tambourine! It almost reminds me a little bit of the chorus riff from “Dickeye” from Boggy Depot, but with even more beef to the guitar tones. It’s one of the fastest tracks on the entire record, and when I hear Jerry compare himself to a boxer in the track in interviews, I can envision it within the context of the song. “Echoes of Laughter” is next. I love the distorted phase effect used in the verses. It’s a slow one, bringing the pace back down after the faster pace of the previous track. But upon hearing the rest of the track, I personally feel like the production is a tad too slick, that there are far too many instrumental layers. I have zero complaints about vocal harmonies.

Next up is “Throw Me a Line” – my fucking FAVORITE TRACK ON THE ENTIRE ALBUM. It’s PERFECT. It’s got that Black Sabbath-style one-note riff, with the type of syncopation that became Jerry’s trademark via “Man in the Box” 34 years ago. The tempo and groove both allow every instrument and player to breathe. Also here is an important lesson for all musicians. Listen to that slight silence within the syncopated rhythm. Pay close attention. It’s slight but it counts. Why? Because what’s NOT played is equally as important as what is played. Space is still criminally underrated in music to this day.

Speaking of Black Sabbath, do you hear that bend in the main riff to “Let it Lie”? Jerry’s guitar style from Dirt to now is greatly informed by that type of bend, courtesy of his jerking off to “Iron Man” as a kid. That riff alone could’ve absolutely been on an Alice in Chains record. I also love his super thick wah tone in the solo. It’s been that thick even since Rainier Fog and it even reminds me of the solo to “Drone” of that record, even if the solo leaves a little something to be desired.

“No tearful confession, I admit to nothing wrong…” is the acapella line that starts off “Held Your Tongue” before the band kicks in. This along with the previous two tracks are among the heaviest of the entire record. “We belong together”, he sings in a three-part harmony fitting only of God himself. The song as a whole could have fit anywhere on Degradation Trip as far as I’m concerned. The chorus and flange-soaked arpeggio that starts off “It Comes”, the album’s closer, is beyond trippy. I actually envision multicolored, psychedelic swirls each time I play it back. It’s a slow dirge until approximately 3:25 when it picks up some speed and makes way for possibly Jerry’s best solo in the entire alum. It’s infused with wah, soaked in delay, as has become his signature ever since Black Gives Way to Blue was released fifteen years ago. And just like that, it crashes back down. That’s how dynamics are properly executed.

After Brighten, I’m very surprised at Jerry for pivoting back into a heavier style. I feel like that album is a more accurate representation of Jerry and his personality today. But respect goes to him for insisting on pivoting anyway, especially since he of all people could’ve easily kept moving in the same direction. He has NOTHING to prove to anyone, yet he chooses to challenge himself.

Recommended Tracks:

Vilified, I Want Blood, Throw Me A Line, Held Your Tongue, It Comes

I give I Want Blood four out of five middle fingers.

Nails – Every Bridge Burning

Posted on by Mike

Eight years. That’s how long it’s been since Nails released You Will Never Be One of Us, the band’s last album and 2016 Nuclear Blast Records debut. That album was absolutely disgusting, just beautifully vile and disgusting. It was raw, quick (minus “They Come Crawling Back”), and disgusting. The biggest surprise to me still, even eight years later, is that it debuted on the Billboard charts. Forget about the position (128), it’s just the idea that a band this disgusting DEBUTED ON THE BILLBOARD FUCKING CHARTS.

We wouldn’t hear much from Nails for a long time afterwards. The band, with the YWNBOOU lineup still intact, did release some new material from time to time, including a split with Full of Hell and the 2019 single “I Don’t Want to Know You”. Otherwise, not much was heard from them, which isn’t a surprise. Frontman/guitarist Todd Jones made it clear in the past that Nails is definitely not a full-time touring band, as he has a full-time job and doesn’t like being away from home for long stretches of time. It might or might not even be why both drummer Taylor Young and bassist John Gianelli left in late 2020, ultimately concluding the original lineup.

With all of that in mind, let’s fast forward to the present. As I type this, Every Bridge Burning, Nails’ fourth full length album and second on Nuclear Blast Records, has been out for two weeks now. To boot, this new release has a whole new, much more metal-inspired lineup, including Carlos Cruz on drums, formerly of Warbringer. After many much-needed repeated listens (the album is only 18 minutes after all!) there’s only one thing to say:

Every Bridge Burning fucks hard. It fucks harder than my first girlfriend from when I was 18 who just lied there on her parents’ leather couch like a dead fish. I could list a few others, but Kristy, you were the worst. Worst blowjob, worst fuck, worst everything. But it also fucks as hard as the submissive chick who always addressed me as “Daddy”.

But I digress.

“Imposing Will” is the lead off track and after four bass drum kicks to start things off, it immediately turns into something that could’ve sounded like “Parasite, pt.2” from the previous record. But the difference here is the drums are even punchier than last time around. I didn’t think that was even possible since Kurt Ballou’s production made Taylor’s drums sound like battering rams last time around! Todd Jones sounds as if he’s continuing with the vocal style he began using on YWNBOOU. It’s one that’s much more growly and guttural than the high-pitched scream he used on 2013’s Abandon All Life.

“Punishment Map” immediately kicks in with more blast beats from Carlos Cruz along with Todd’s and Shelby Lermo’s Boss HM2 Heavy Metal-cranked, Swedish Death Metal inspired guitar tones. It’s the type where even MY ears (I have perfect pitch) have a hard time making out what’s happening at times. But that’s the beauty of it all. And to you fucking gear nerds, yeah, I know Todd is using an overdrive pedal that was custom made for him – but it’s definitely inspired by the old HM2 pedal, and you can’t deny it!

The more I go through the album I begin to realize that not only are the drums clearer in the mix, but so are Todd’s vocals. I still can’t completely make out what he’s saying; but he doesn’t sound like he’s drowning in the mix either. I also hear slight bit of room reverb (?) in his vocals, almost similar to King Diamond’s voice on Mercyful Fate’s Don’t Break The Oath.

“Give Me the Painkiller” took me very much by surprise when it was released as a single over the summer. The opening riff alone is far more intricate than anything else in Nails’ entire catalog. In fact, the song is the most Metal sounding of the entire album and even has a legitimate guitar solo. I shit you not! And come to find out, Todd revealed in Forbes that upon having writers block during the pandemic (aka the greatest year and a half of my life!!!), he began listening to Van Halen. While Todd clearly didn’t begin trying to write like Ed, the change in music encouraged him to break out of his shell and branch out.

I don’t care what music you prefer to listen to, you’re not a real musician unless you listen to all kinds of music because you never know where your next source of inspiration will be.

I wasn’t sure about “Lacking the Ability to Process Empathy” when I heard it weeks ago. It appeared nowhere near as dynamic as the other songs I’d heard as singles. But within the confines of an album flow, it fits right in. I also love Carlo’s double bass groove near the end of the track. “Trapped”, the shortest track on the record at just 0:38 seconds, is just pure rape. There’s nothing else to say.

“Dehumaized” is THE song to listen to while beating the shit out of someone with brass knucks AND a metal baseball bat. The pace is superhuman at the very start with blast beats so clear that you must be dead if you stay still. It appears to be a tradition for Nails to have the album closer be the longest track on the record. And at 3:19, “No More Rivers to Cross” is only half the length of “They Come Crawling Back”, which clocked in at 8:14; but it’s so fucking filled with changes, headbanging grooves and Tony Iommi-esque trills that the song’s length is perfect.

If there’s anything I can say about Every Bridge Burning, it’s that Nails – Todd in particular! – is still one big ball of rage, bile, resentment, violence, intensity, you fucking name it. But now, the music is just a tad more diverse, and I like it.

I hearby give Every Bridge Burning four out of five middle fingers!

The Black Dahlia Murder – Mammoth’s Hand

Posted on by Mike

I didn’t even have to look for this new track from The Black Dahlia Murder, since one of my Instagram followers chose to send it to me early Tuesday morning. “Mammoth’s Hand” is the second single off of Servitude, the group’s first album in over four years and their first without the late Trevor Strnad. And as you can see above, it even has a fucking sick animated video to accompany it. So, let’s get right to it!

“Mammoth’s Hand” is a slower paced track, unlike “Aftermath”, the first single from the upcoming album…or 99.8% of the band’s entire two decades-long catalogue. The song sounds so much like something from Nightbringers that I was immediately under the impression the Brandon Ellis wrote the music, especially with his short intro solo before Brain Eschbach begins singing. Turns out I was wrong, and Ryan actually wrote this one. And that very much excites me because it’s partially what I’ve been waiting for.

The song’s slower tempo allows the guitars to breathe, allowing you to hear every note being played. The arrangement is perfection. There’s a short section where the tempo is double timed (that means the tempo is faster for you non-musos). The syncopated break in the middle makes it so much more badass. The solo kicks in at the 2:22 mark and it’s played by non-other than Ryan Motherfucking Knight! It’s dripping with emotion, aggression, feel, harmonies, everything I loved about his solos during his initial run with the band. His and Brandon’s styles are very similar. Think the primary difference is Brandon’s sound is a little more razor sharp than Ryan’s, and his bends are just a tad more extreme than even Ryan’s. I did recently compare Ryan to a modern-day Andy LaRoque after all!

Ok, now for the lyrics. I need to start this off by admitting that I apparently dug way too deep for my own good when dissecting the lyrics to “Aftermath”. I took it as a statement on crawling back after tragedy. Nope. It really was just about Zombies and the end of the Earth after it was hit by a meteor. Turns out that as a lyricist, Brian is nowhere near as dark as Trevor was. Either that or since this was his first go around as the primary lyricist, he decided to just have fun with it. I can’t say I blame Brian at all. So, where in the past the lyrics were as dark and deranged as you’d expect from any Death Metal band, yet the videos were fun, the lyrics won’t be serious at all in this new era of The Black Dahlia Murder.

Take the lyrics to “Mammoth’s Hand”. Brian revealed that they were literally inspired by the early 1980’s cult flick, The Beastmaster. Did you click on the link to see the trailer for that? Is it not gloriously schlocky? Although like many schlocky movies, this one had one hot ass chick. RIP Tanya Roberts.

Yeah, she was hot. The titties are smaller than what I’d usually prefer, but she sure was easy on the eyes. I’d fuck her.

Anyway, the lyrics to “Mammoth’s Hand’s”, according to Brian, were inspired by one particular scene in the movie. As for Brian own performance, I actually liked it better than even his performance on “Aftermath”. The slower tempo allows him to play around with nuances and explore more of his own dynamics. He actually sounded more like a Black Metal vocalist here, as far as I can tell.

Again, this isn’t the first time we’ve ever heard the Black Dahlia Murder slow it down, and I really like this one. I’m leaving here the link to pre-order Servitude, which comes out next month. I already pre-ordered it, and you should too. If there was ever a time to support The Black Dahlia Murder, THIS is that time. BUY THE FUCKING RECORD!

I absolutely give “Mammoth’s Hand” 5 out of 5 middle fingers.

Jerry Cantrell – “Vilified”

Posted on by Mike

I dare you to tell me with a straight face that you saw this coming. I sure didn’t! We knew he was recording…something…and that was made apparent when his iconic 1985 G&L “Blue Dress” Rampage was misplaced for a day after initially being declared as “stolen”. So when “Vilified” dropped about a week ago, it was a pleasant surprise in so many ways.

The opening drum pattern, which establishes off the bat the song is going to be played in 6/8, is rather powerful. A John Bonham-esque triplet is the kickoff point for the rest of band to kick in. Cantrell’s main riff is rather simple, very one-note, seventies-like, but it kicks ass. It wasn’t until after I heard it that I discovered that Gil Sharone is back on drums for “Vilified”. On bass? None other than Robert fucking Trujillo. Degradation Trip reunion!

Before I continue, here’s a bit of context for the clueless out there. Jerry’s rhythm section for Degradation Trip Vol. 1 & 2, released in 2002, were comprised of both Robert on bass and Mike Bordin on drums. Those two were Ozzy’s rhythm section at the time, with Degradation Trip being released the year before Robert left Ozzy to replace Jason Newsted in Metallica. Ok, back to the song!

“Vilified” is very much a hard rock song, a major contrast to anything on his previous solo record, which I will allude to more soon. Keeping in the 70’s style of hard rock, Jerry uses the Talk Box for one guitar track. He’s been using that more in the last six years than he has in a long time! The song breaks with its 6/8 pattern at the 2:10 mark for a break down section, lasting about 25 seconds before the original time signature returns in time for harmonized guitar solo. Between his guitar solos on the last album and here, Jerry’s solos are rather simple, nothing compared to his solos in Alice in Chains and perhaps that’s by design. Who knows. But I liked it, it’s still more than what could be heard on the last record. One last breakdown section appears at 3:45 point and finishes the song. It’s a solid, slow headbanger section and an excellent way to end “Vilified”.

Lyrically, “Vilified” appears to be about the internet, the recent rise of Artificial Intelligence in particular, and society’s tendency to rely on AI, as well as fall for its deceptiveness, via fake pictures, videos with manipulated dialogue where no one sees that the sound doesn’t match the movement of the lips, etc. A word he uses in the first pre-chorus is schadenfreude. Schadenfreude is a German word that means harm-joy. It’s the feeling of joy that someone gets from watching others suffer, which we see a lot on social media, and the most insecure losers living in their mommy’s basements right now are looking for to make themselves feel more validated in life. Bullying. So, when he sings “schadenfreude crescendo/AI, skew the innuendo“, I can only imagine he’s addressing the dopamine increase we as a society get from watching everything on our computers and phones and determining it’s all happening in real time when in reality, a lot of it isn’t even true.

Must feel good to have “something” validate your thoughts.

I’m noticing a lot of people commenting on Jerry’s vocal harmonies when he sings the line “Oh, my savior, our failure“, comparing it to a harmony he easily would’ve performed with the late Layne Staley. Upon repeated listens I hear it. I really do. The only giveaway that it isn’t Layne is Jerry has that Oklahoma twang in his vocals, a product of his childhood growing up there. Overall, however, his voice is fucking STRONG here.

“Vilified” was released a day or so before it was announced that a new album, I Want Blood, will be released in October. And if “Vilified” is any indicator, I Want Blood will probably sound nothing like 2021’s Brighten, as so many people were thinking about with dread. Clearly, you can see that I liked Brighten and found it to be a solid alum if you clicked on that last hyperlink. It might’ve appeared however to be a tad too country rock for some. They can suck my dick.

But I wouldn’t go ahead and assume right off the bat that this upcoming album is going to be another Degradation Trip like I’m seeing some people jerk off to the idea of. “Vilified” is a banger; but Jerry has yet to release a solo album that didn’t have its own character. And since I have DT – and ALL of Jerry’s solo albums for that matter! – I can tell you right now that I Want Blood will probably not sound like DT, nor would I want it to. Get your hands out of your pants and let Jerry continue to give each album its own identity!

In fact, you can even preorder the album here! Now BUY THE FUCKING RECORD!

I give “Vilified” four middle fingers.

How Jeff Got His Balls Back

Posted on by Mike

I was supposed to be finished with blogs/podcasts for the year after the most recent shit I released just two nights ago. But seeing the news post on Metal Injection’s Instagram account this morning excited me so much that before I even read the fucking story on their proper website, I went ahead and posted it on my Instagram story and wrote: “Way to go, Jeff! Congratulations, your balls and dignity are back!!!!!”

If you’ve yet to read the article or even hear the news, Guitar GOD Jeff Loomis has left Arch Enemy after nine years. That’s a lot longer than I would’ve ever imagined someone like Jeff being a part of that shitshow! Because that’s what Arch Enemy has been for well over a decade. Jeff has already been replaced by Joey Concepcion, formerly of The Absence, who I was a fan of at the time, and Sanctuary.

Is it just me, or isn’t it ironic that Jeff was replaced by the guy from Warrell Dane’s first band?

Here’s Arch Enemy’s statement:

“It’s been a joy having Jeff play with Arch Enemy for close to a decade, we truly had a blast touring around the world together! We were friends long before we played music together and we remain even closer buddies now, which feels great. We respect that he’s in a place and time in life where he needs to step out of Arch Enemy and we all wish him nothing but the best moving forward.

The only constant is change, and this is one of those moments where things had to change a little to move forward in a satisfactory way for everyone involved. With all that said, we are extremely pleased to announce that we have recruited Joey Concepcion as our new guitarist! Joey’s a phenomenal talent and has been a friend of the band for a long time, he even filled in for Jeff on a couple of European festival shows back in 2018.

We have touring and a myriad of other exciting things coming up on the horizon with Arch Enemy for 2024 and beyond and are thrilled to move forward, creating the next chapter and keeping the metal flowing!”

Jeff’s statement:

“My time in Arch Enemy has come to an end. I have had a great time (9 years!) of playing and touring with them, but now it’s time to enter a new chapter in my life. I wish Alissa, Michael, Sharlee and Daniel the very best and consider them all lifelong friends. I’d also like to thank the crew that have always been nothing but kind to me. Their hard work and dedication towards the band is incredible, and we wouldn’t be able to put on the great shows without them. Thank you again for all your support over the years and Happy New Year.”

Both of these statements sound very polished, very edited. Arch Enemy’s statement has me laughing inside a little, especially the part where they state that “this is one of those moments where things had to change a little to move forward in a satisfactory way for everyone involved“. I can only imagine this was everyone gritting their teeth as one party really wanted to exclaim, “thank fuck he’s gone so I continue writing songs in the same corny, stale formula I’ve been attached to since the late 2000’s”, while the other party is responding, “thank fuck I’m out of there, and I never have to wear those fucktarded outfits and play boring stale formulaic shit ever again!”. 

I wonder which party is which here!

If you’re reading this and somehow haven’t the faintest idea of who the fuck Jeff Loomis is outside of Bland Enemy, the Dad Rock of Metal bands (I said it!), go on Spotify, or YouTube, or Apple Music, or raid your older brother’s CD collection, and just listen to the entire Nevermore catalogue. To say that Jeff Loomis is a PHENOM would be a GROSS understatement. He has it all: his own signature playing style, his own signature sound, attitude, his own distinct songwriting style. Jeff Loomis is literally the total package. It’s easy to see upon listening to Nevermore or either of his two solo albums, 2008’s Zero Order Phase, or 2012’s Plains of Oblivion (I can almost hear Warrell Dane howling that out in my head, or even snarling it in his sinister speaking voice!) why people have commented that Jeff is comparable to an underground Dimebag Darrell. He has ALL the tools, much like Dime had, only he never met his true potential and made it to the top of the heap as Dime had just a few years before Nevermore even released their 1995 self-titled debut.

On the other side of the coin, we have the Michael Amott-led Arch Enemy. Michael also has his own signature playing style along with his own distinct songwriting style. That style was initially introduced to Carcass when he joined the band in the early 90’s, as it dictated a change in the band’s Grindcore sound into something a little different on 1991’s Necroticism – Descanting The Insalubrious. That sound was further leaned on with Carcass’s landmark 1994 album, Heartwork, which is essentially the birth of what we know today as Melodic Death Metal. There were more guitar solos, and the riffs sounded far more like Iron Maiden due to an increase in harmonized riffs than ANYTHING before 1991.

Michael took a chance and left Carcass to start Arch Enemy, which would be used to further expand on this style that Michael brought to Carcass, which in retrospect did to Carcass what Michael McDonald did to The Doobie Brothers. After two albums they hit gold when, in 2000, Arch Enemy brought in German hottie Angela Gossow on lead vocals. I first read about her as well as Arch Enemy in Terrorizer Magazine upon the release of their landmark 2001 album, Wages of Sin. She was hot. But then I heard her growl. Then I just seriously was concurrently horny and feared that, if I made her cum she’d breathe fire or some shit.

Wages was groundbreaking for its time. The riffs were equally as catchy as they were heavy, the choruses were anthems in themselves, and the contrasting lead guitar styles of Michael’s wah pedal-drenched Michael Schenker-esque technique and his brother Christopher’s far more shredder-like style put Arch Enemy in a class of its own in the Heavy Metal Underground. But that was 2002.

As time went on, Arch Enemy’s sound turned into a blatant formula, one which staled out at a steady pace. And THAT’S where the problems come in for Jeff Loomis. 

Jeff may have his own playing style that differs from the sound of Arch Enemy; but Jeff’s style is far more dynamic, intense, and diverse. I can only imagine that Jeff joining the band was an objectively great move for both parties: Michael had an EXTRAORDINARY, once-in-a-generation talent in Jeff now, and Jeff had a stable income, which he rightfully deserved. Between the break-up of Nevermore, who never saw their potential met, and releasing two solo albums that were probably just popular to the diehard Nevermore fans, I can only imagine that he might’ve been struggling a bit. There are zero guarantees in underground music, especially since the dawn of downloading.

But talk about a WASTED opportunity? Jeff didn’t have any true creative input at all. He wrote nothing, meaning that Michael is his own worst enemy. And Michael even stated at the time that he was putting a muzzle on Jeff because the band had a formula he wanted to stick to and didn’t want Jeff to potentially steer the band too far away from that formula. If that wasn’t an omen for what Jeff’s time in Arch Enemy might’ve been like, I don’t know what is. Just imagine what Jeff’s input, even if just a little per album, would have done for Arch Enemy in terms of revitalizing the band with a potentially fresher, far more exciting and intense sound. All Michael had to do was be brave enough to step away from his comfort zone just a little and that little bit would’ve made all the difference in the world. 

Michael Amott: The Undisputed King of Stepping On Your Own Dick.

Because that’s what this was. I doubt there was any true behind the scenes drama; but while Jeff had a guaranteed paycheck from a well-established band, he was legitimately being wasted. I actually heard a new Arch Enemy song featuring their current female singer (Angela left years ago and is the band’s manager, but the band sure knows how to stick to a formula!) and it was an absolute chore to listen to. If you’re a musician like me, or at least familiar with both Michael’s and Jeff’s songwriting styles, then you’d know without being told that there’s no way Jeff could’ve written that dribble. 

After CM Punk was fired from AEW earlier this year, the Young Bucks went into the ring after a taping of AEW Collision and like two children, did a victory lap around the ring in celebration of Punk’s firing, in a relatively empty area. Pretty pathetic, as Punk pointed out a year earlier that the Bucks were also stepping on their own dicks, which is currently destroying their own company from the inside. So, was Arch Enemy’s press statement addressing Jeff’s departure Michael’s own proverbial victory lap? Because while Arch Enemy continues to have a built-in fan base, who really gives a shit anymore? I sure don’t, and it’s all because Michael Amott would rather get in his own way than try to make even more money.

Much like the Young Bucks were intimidated by CM Punk and his star power, I have to wonder if Michael Amott was intimidated by Jeff Loomis and his abilities. Even though Arch Enemy CLEARLY outlived Nevermore, who broke up in 2011, could Michael have been nervous that Jeff would’ve stolen the show, challenging Michael to up his own game. Michael is clearly talented in his own right considering he literally invented a subgenre that’s copied ad nauseum to this day; but he’s not the guitarist Jeff is. Not by a longshot! 

Sadly, this is truly the better deal for Jeff as well as Bland Enemy. Bland Enemy can continue making more bland, boring Dad Metal while Michael Amott continues to step on his own dick, and Jeff Loomis can be alive again.

Recommended Listening:

Nevermore – Dreaming Neon Black (1999)

Nevermore – Dead Heart in A Dead World (2000)

Nevermore – Enemies of Reality (2003)

Nevermore – This Godless Endeavor (2005)

Jeff Loomis – Plains of Oblivion (2012)

Last Gig with Vanguard live at Dock St. Bar and Grill, Staten Island, NY, March 25th, 2005

Posted on by Mike

Within a month after my first ever metal band fired me after five more gigs including a Dimebag Darrell tribute show at the now-defunct Don Hills in Manhattan (this was actually our second show a good week after our debut gig), we all managed to stay friends…at least for a few more years. I even tagged along with two of those guys to see Black Label Society, which I just wrote about not too long ago. I even saw their first (and only) gig without me, in which Jon had switched over to my now-former spot as guitarist, and a friend of theirs took over Jon’s position as bassist for a Randy Rhoads tribute show at Dock St (Cock St). I even recall that the band chose “Over the Mountain”, the opener to Diary of a Madman, my favorite Randy-era Ozzy album as their tribute song of choice.

That situation didn’t work out for long, and for reasons I cannot remember. But I do know that while on the phone with Idrees one night, he told me the band had another Dock St show lined up but were potentially going to cancel. Why? All because they didn’t have a second guitarist.

Fucking seriously?

That to me sounded more retarded than when Idrees said he wasn’t going to introduce the songs because he wanted us to sound like we’ve been around for five years. So, that, along with my knowing that it’d be a while before I’d play another gig again while I was putting my own band together, prompted me to volunteer my services for one last gig. The deal was the band would call me ONLY if they exhausted all of their options. Idrees agreed and said the band would talk about it.

I guess they “exhausted” all of their options, because within two days I received a voicemail from Idrees: (Cheesy metal voice) “Vanguard, live at Dock St, one last time, with Mike Alexander! (Back to normal voice) Yeah man, we need you.” So just like that, I was to meet up with them at Fenix Studios for rehearsals. I’d no objections, as Fenix, which is still open today, was far closer to my house than Future Star Studios. But I’d eventually change my mind regarding my opinion on this studio within a year.

We did two rehearsals. At my request, we would cover “South Of Heaven” by Slayer, which would be how we opened our set at the show. Rehearsals were strange, not just because I was nagged into doing a second practice either. Joe Ryder was brought back as the band’s bassist, which was a welcome return, as things had apparently gone very south with Jon. Joe was not a good bassist, but he was significantly easier to be around. “Aren’t things a lot less tense now?”, commented Chad in the middle of that first night. And he was right.

That’s why I found it weird when Jon showed up for the second rehearsal two nights later. If I’m not mistaken, he’d manipulated Joe to believing the band kicked him out, which wasn’t the case at all. I imagine Chad, Idrees and Chris must’ve realized that it was way too close to the night of the show to do anything about it right there, and that the situation would have to be handled after the show. What was more amusing because of this was that Jon wanted to talk to me after the rehearsal. I’d agreed, thinking he was going to make plans to get drunk, as he had this fake ID that was perfectly counterfeited – there was NO WAY anyone could have figured out that this “21 year old” was actually 17! We were going to make plans to do that one night, but I was fired from the band before that could ever happen.

Jon didn’t want to talk about getting drunk, but he sure wanted to try to convince me to rejoin the band. He knew I was trying to put my own thing together, but he was going to try anyway. Chris, who’d previously tried to get me to come back a month earlier, heard the conversation and immediately jumped in, even though he and I both knew he had other plans for Jon. I just stood there, looking at Jon, thinking “if this kid only knew…”.

I don’t remember too much about the night of the show, expect Dock St was hot as balls. As per usual, very few people were there for me. But I did have support via Mike Spennato, aka 80’s Mike, a sucker for all things gay ass hair metal, and Florian, or just “Flo” for short, two colleagues from my college radio station. Mike would actually take the pictures you see on this blog post, and some of them came out pretty cool. Here’s a quick story about 80’s Mike:

As I’ve mentioned in the past, Chris at this point in time was dating the sister of my radio station’s music director, Marissa…who had fantastic titties. I guess there was a bit of a miscommunication between Chris and Marissa, and I’m assuming Chris might’ve heard beforehand that a member of the band he was going to audition for happened to work for the station, prompting Marrisa to tell Chris that the guitar player in question was 80’s Mike – who also happened to be her assistant director of her department, not I. Therefore, Chris, at least for a very short time, was probably waiting for me to break out Poison or some shit. Of course, he then heard me play, causing him to second guess that conversation.

Sometime before our first show Chris finally asked me if I was into hair metal, which was baffling. But as he talked more, I realized what the confusion was, prompting me to laugh as I set the record straight. He had said that as soon as he heard my playing style, he told himself “There’s no way this guy listens to Ratt!” And he’s right. Chris would actually meet 80s Mike a few weeks before I was fired during a gig and he told Mike this story while we were waiting to go on stage.

Because fuck Ratt.

On stage, our first song, as mentioned earlier, was “South of Heaven”. Chad played the intro a little too fast, something I talked to him about during rehearsals. I know he wasn’t a fan of the song, and he looked like he couldn’t wait to get it over with. I took it as a bit of inconsideration for me since I’d volunteered my services that night. The set otherwise was all the usual shit. I’m also pretty sure I went straight home afterwards.

Unless I’m greatly mistaken, the woman seen here taking pictures was Chad’s girlfriend at the time. I completely forgot her name.

Now THIS is a fucking awesome picture. I always made doubles of all my pictures, and this one was so badass that 80’s Mike wanted the double to keep. This reminds me a lot of the very first picture I ever saw of Chuck Schuldiner in the same issue of Guitar World Magazine that announced his tragic death.

Mike Spennato aka 80’s Mike on the right. I have zero recollection of who this fucking guy on the left is.

Left to right: Florian Uchitel (I think that’s how his last name is spelled), 80’s Mike, and that guy whose name I don’t remember.

The Night After

I’m pretty sure I worked that morning. I hung out with Chris and Idrees that night, I at least think Idrees was with us. Chris had fired Jon that morning on AIM, as a result of him driving Joe away before this gig and according to either Chris or Idrees, Jon complained a lot about mistakes everyone made at the show including myself. I found that weird, not just because I was gone for good now, but because mistakes happen all the time when you’re live…unless you’re in some technical Death Metal band where your feet are planted in the same spot for two hours and the only movements you make revolve around circle headbanging. Or the homos from Dream Theater.

Because fuck Dream Theater

The band itself broke up not too long after this, and most likely over the aforementioned second guitarist bullshit. They’d regroup shortly after, only to break up again just as quickly.

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Rotting Away In Hell…I Mean Margaritaville

Posted on by Mike

It was 5:00 yesterday morning, as I type this, when I was awakened by the sudden urge to take a big shit. I’d taken my phone with me, since there were no books in there to read. Within a few minutes I’d received a notification from Yahoo! News which read: “Jimmy Buffett, Singer-Songwriter Who Turned ‘Margaritaville’ into an Empire, Dies at 76”. I was too tired to really show excitement at that moment; but it certainly made my shit that much more glorious – probably because Jimmy Buffett was just that, shit!

It was later in the morning when I received the following greeting from the owner of the Lift for Satan clothing line:

“Good morning friend, let me start off the day with the good news that Jimmy buffet is DEAD!!! Enjoy that cheeseburger in hell you dork haha”.

You think he was just a tad more excited about this than even I?

But since I don’t intend to make this too long of a post, here are some things I will NEVER forgive his ass for:

He apparently coined the phrase “It’s 5 O’ Clock Somewhere”.

It’s true. It’s actually a song he wrote and performed with country artist/fellow homo Alan Jackson. The phrase is just fucking stupid and so is the fucking song. Are you that idiot that uses the term “It’s 5 O’ Clock Somewhere” as an excuse to have a drink? You have far bigger problems to worry about!

And you sound retarded.

He Ruined a Good Portion of Key West.

See, in the years preceding Jimmy’s arrival to Key West from Mississippi, Key West was just a bohemian, counterculture-oriented remote island city off the Florida coast. Was it the best place to be back then? Hardly. But in the 70’s even New York City – which was home to an INDESCRIBABLE music and art scene! – was a literal Hell on Earth! However, as economics go, rent in these cities was still cheaper than a $2 hooker.

But that was the allure of Key West. Unless you were living there, and knew where to go for a good time, the place was truly a mystery in the decades preceding the internet. Jimmy came along, and he later would donate money to help save the manatees. Ok, that’s admirable and I can respect that. But things changed when just a few years later he opened up a restaurant/souvenir shop named after his signature song (more on that later) in Key West.

What followed was massive financial success via the tourism it brought in. It sure sounds good on paper until you find out that Jimmy would go on to buy more and more properties, which would include more restaurants, hotels, and even retirement communities. And what does this lead to in Key West, as it would any other not-so-well-to-do place that’s generating that much money? Gentrification, something I’ve ranted about a few times on here over the years. And suddenly, Key West natives that were living there before Jimmy even arrived in 1971 can barely afford to stay there.

Thanks a lot, you ass!

His fans are “Parrotheads”

As the Lift for Satan guy said to me yesterday morning, Jimmy Buffett essentially wrote music enabling middled aged, white jackasses to get shitfaced. Jimmy described it as “escapism”. Uh huh, sure thing, buddy. These rabid fans have taken part in actual Jimmy Buffett Conventions taking placing in Key West every year since 1985. They all come down with their parrot hats, flip flops and Hawaiian shirts – all Jimmy’s signature garb! – and they couldn’t wait to see Jimmy play on the Parrothead Cruise.

That’s not a convention, that’s a fucking cult!

He wrote “Margaritaville”

Released in 1977, this absolute shit-sterpiece of a song jump started the fledgling career of an undeserving Jimmy Buffett. It also gave aspiring beach bums everywhere a reason to flock down to Key West, ultimately ruining it, as their money enabled him to turn that one song into an empire the likes of which I personally hope I never see or hear of again because it’s that cultish and fucking gay. I guess everyone was able to relate to a song about some moron who ran off to a beach resort to hide from his self-inflicted problems and drink his sorrows away(?).

The Aftermath

So where do we go from here? He’s dead. Much like when certain politicians bought themselves a third term as New York City mayor, it’ll take an awfully long time to get the stench of Jimmy Buffett the fuck out of the Florida Keys in particular. Yeah, Jimmy has chain restaurants and hotels scattered throughout other parts of Florida as well as the country as a whole. There was even a Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant not too far from where I live. But what I can only hope for now is that, in time, the fake beach bums and tourists will sooner or later get over themselves, stop using that idiot’s music as an excuse to get shitfaced, get rid of the stupid Hawaiian shirts and flip flops, and realize that much like the guy that was actually from Mississippi, they never really were true islanders.