While listening to 1010 WINS earlier this week, as I was driving to my bus stop, I heard one of the most ridiculous reports since hearing a year ago that Long Beach, NJ was getting rid of homework and replacing it with prayer (I wonder how THAT’S working out!). According to research performed by three Canadian professors over at the University Of British Columbia, the sport of Dodgeball enforces…oppression. This is not a typo. I swear. As tired as I was that morning that surely woke me up for at least a few extra seconds.
According to an article published in The Washington Post, which I’ll leave the link to down below, these three professors actually argue that Dodgeball “teaches students to dehumanize their peers”. But it gets better: “When you’re setting up the environment for students to learn, and you introduce the idea that it’s okay to slam the ball at whomever you like, even if it’s with a soft ball, the intention is there,” according to Joy Butler, one of those three professors who happens to study pedagogy and curriculum development over at the university.
Joy Butler and David Burns, two of the three professors responsible for this “study”. It’s easy to see the issue right here. They both look like they either got picked last every time and probably got hit all the time. Because it’s clear to me they have no clue what bullying is. They also look like they’re probably still virgins.
Butler continued to say that gym class should be the time to teach students to “control their aggression and move on instead of expressing themselves through anger.” after preceding that with the idea that Dodgeball is an outlet for anger. And here’s were I get a bit mad, because based on these remarks alone that neither Joy Butler or David Burns have absolutely NO FUCKING CLUE as to what TRUE bullying is. Let me help you out a bit, you two jerkoffs!
For the sake of ever so slight disclosure, I was in fact a long time victim of bullying – something that didn’t happen because I lost at Dodgeball a few times. Bullying and oppression are the results of nothing more than psychological and emotional weakness found in both boys and even some girls (they’re actually the worst as far as I’m concerned!) who often need to prove their superiority by picking on the first person they see that sticks out like a sore thumb. Doesn’t matter how big or small, skinny or fat, or race the target is. A target is a target and if the bully is for some reason throwing balls at the opposing team as hard as he/she can, it’s not because Dodgeball makes them feel empowered. They already felt empowered, the ball now being merely the ammunition.
As mentioned above, I was playing Dodgeball LONG before I met my first bully. We obviously played in two teams and often times I’d find myself unsuccessful of dodging the ball. Fuck, there was one time when I made an absolutely beautiful throw…only for Julio Velez to make an even more picture perfect catch…meaning I was out. But at the end of the period, no one was upset, no one felt like they were bullied, and no one felt like even more of a bully. In fact, minus one or two kids who just changed over time because that’s what happens, I largely STILL was friends with everyone and vice versa! Trust me when I tell you that my first bully, who absolutely TERRORIZED me for a whole year – and all because I chose to be friends with the one kid he hated! – was not a product of Dodgeball “aggression”.
If anything, as far as I’m concerned, Dodgeball, like any other more mainstream sport, encourages neuro-muscular coordination in the form of quick thinking and even quicker movements, which in the future could carry over into better General Physical Preparedness (GPP) for other athletic endeavors. This is also a great way for kids to properly put their “aggression” to work so they DON’T act like assholes afterward. Want to know what else it can encourage? Teamwork. You know…the idea that everyone learns to work together…a skill we all have no choice but to put to use when we get older, like it or not? What a concept!! Remember this, as kids get older – boys especially – they will show aggression. It’s in our nature. There’s a little thing called testosterone, which David Burns clearly never had! But guess what David, even the nicest boy out there will show some form of aggression while playing with his friends because that’s what boys do! If he wasn’t already a bully before playing any sport, Dodgeball or not, he will continue to not be a bully when goes home for to meet his 6pm curfew later on.
Because I’m wondering: if these three adult virgins think Dodgeball is oppressive, what do they have to say about…Football. Or is that too adult for their clearly undeveloped, emotionally stunted tastes?